"Mom, what is she doing here", I asked quietly, bearing my fangs at the dark visage of my aunt.

"Do I need a reason to visit my favorite nephew", she nearly purred with a smirk my mother couldn't see and brushed her wing against mine as she passed by, drawing a confused stare from my mother as she looked around the throne room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Cain nod to himself as I shuddered slightly and he stood, his cloak masking his steps as he seemed to glide forward.

"Princess Celestia", he greeted with a friendly smile. "A pleasure to see you again!"

"A pleasure to see you too, Sir Cain", she smiled back. "Any interesting adventures yet? And how are you enjoying Equestria?"

"Not a fucking word", I hissed at Luna, earning a quiet scoff.

"Quite. It's surprised me in many ways, and I suspect more adventures to come. In fact, Jackson and I killed an antlion queen recently. Well, me mostly. Dipshit here got himself eaten and puked back up. But aside from that I've mostly been studying. I'd like to know as much about this world as possible", he replied with a wide smile that displayed his fangs as he nodded.

"Eaten", mom gasped and snapped her attention to me. "Jackson Everfree!"

"I was swallowed", I muttered. "There's a difference."

"You still went into the gullet of one of those foul beasts", she shouted and let out an annoyed snort, casting a glare at Twilight as she snickered before turning back to Cain. "Where did you encounter this monstrosity?"

"In the changeling hive while disposing of some traitors", he replied with an amused smile. "I had fun, he didn't."

"I did too", I argued and flicked a summoned pebble at him which he ignored.

"In Chrysalis's hive", she demanded.

"You should have let the foul beasts destroy each other", Luna muttered as she studied a hoof with disinterest.

"Agreed", my mother snorted, causing my anger to suddenly flare within me.

"I WILL NOT LET YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT MY HIVE", I bellowed and flared my wings, momentarily silencing the pair.

"Your hive", the white alicorn eventually asked with narrowing eyes, her wings slowly unfurling as she slowly stalked toward me. "What. Did. You. Do?!"

"Shit", I muttered and hung my head, my wings drooping as I realized my verbal slip. To my surprise Cain was between us in the blink of an eye uttering a low growl.

"What does it matter what he did?! You would allow living, breathing creatures, ones who have been oppressed and forced to do wicked things just to survive, kill each other", he demanded with a snarl before turning to Luna.

"You think them evil, don't you? The changelings? Well from my own experience I'll tell you they're easily more friendly than some of the horses I've met in your towns", he spat, his words laced with actual venom that dripped from his fangs, the green viscous fluid burning into the stone floor.

"Stand down, Sir Cain", my mother said coolly, unfazed by his words and venom. "I need to know what happened because I need to know how it will affect the rest of Equestria. Now please, stand aside. I'm not going to hurt my son."

"It's fine, Cain", I mumbled and nudged his shoulder. "Can you poke your head out the door and ask the guards to have refreshments brought? Please?"

Cain looked to me for a moment and took a deep breath before briskly moving to the door. He stuck his head out and I heard his muffled voice before he leaned back in and returned to my side. Surprisingly not a single noise came from his movements.

"May we continue", my mother asked as she blinked at us.

"If Jackson can keep his head, all will be well", he nodded. "But I know at this point that he can struggle with that."

"True enough", mom replied with a tiny bit of humor in her voice as she turned to me and took a deep breath. "Jackson, what happened?"

"I kinda did my duty and... sired a clutch of eggs", I replied and let out a sigh as I rubbed my face, oblivious to the looks of shock on their faces. "I-I didn't know she was in season and I somehow became the king of that hive too."

Hearing silence I looked up to see both alicorn sisters and Twilight standing still in stunned silence. The silence stretched on so long I began to get nervous and shuffled my feet.

"Mom", I said quietly and touched her shoulder, breaking her from her silence with a shake of her head. "Mom, say something."

"I-I need a moment", she whispered and walked away, mumbling to herself as she paced at the opposite side of the throne room.

"Jackson, may I have a word with you", my aunt asked and glanced first at Cain then Twilight. "Privately?"

Cain looked at both of us and narrowed his eyes a bit before turning and walking away. He nudged Twilight into motion and opened the throne room door, allowing her to exit first before swiftly stepping out and closing the door behind them.

Stay close, I whispered in his mind. I'm not too sure about this. Maybe teleport to the rafters.

Way ahead of you, came the mental reply. I'm cloaked up top keeping an eye on all of you. If you see something I don't, secret word is cookie.

Got it, I replied before turning to my aunt.

"Well", I asked calmly.

"It's a real coincidence that you impregnated Chrysalis", she murmured softly as she examined her front hoof.

"Why, because you've been looking for a way to control the changelings", I hissed just as quietly.

"Of course not", she smirked at me, lowering her hoof to gently caress her lower abdomen. "I just think it's such a wonderful coincidence that two mares should fall pregnant in such a short period."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me", I breathed in horrified dread.

"Oh, I'm not", she cooed darkly as she began circling me. "Just imagine what mommy dearest would say if she was to find out you're the father of my foal. Or your wife?!"

"You wouldn't", I growled as my fists clenched at my sides, the knuckles going white.

"And the tabloids", she gasped in false shock, ignoring me as she pressed a hoof to her chest. "You're already getting mixed reactions from the public. Imagine your image with the headlines proclaiming your rape of one of the nation's rulers!"

I squeezed my eyes shut as I shook with barely suppressed rage. Never had I wanted to kill somepony as badly as I did now. Despite my desire for murder I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to glare at her.

"What do you want from me", I demanded quietly.

"I have quite a few tasks I need accomplished that I can't rely on anypony else for", she breathed and glanced at my mother as she turned toward us. "Answer my summons and do them for me, and the father remains nameless."

I growled softly but nodded, plans already formulating in my mind.

"Please forgive me, Jackson", my mother smiled as she approached me and I forced myself to smile back. "My thoughts are in order now."

"All good now", I asked tentatively.

"Yes, quite so", she smiled but it faded as she looked around. "Where is Sir Cain?"

"I'll go get him", I smiled and tilted my head toward the door, a false spring in my step as I started moving.

We'll talk about this shit after they leave, I mentally growled.

Will do, he replied with a slight edge of anger to his tone. I can handle it for you, should you wish it. I can do what you couldn't at the hive. Using her unborn child as blackmail... That is just... cruel.

We'll talk later, I reiterated. For now I need it to look like you were in the hallway.

I reached the throne room door and pulled it open, poking my head out to look around. Just a few feet to the right of the door I spied Cain smiling as he asked if he was needed and I nodded.

"See, I can be civilized", I grinned as I led him back into the room.

"Only when you want to be", he replied with a grin to match mine as he sauntered in behind me, tossing his cloak back over his shoulders to flow behind him.

"Welcome back, Sir Cain", my mother smiled, my almost imperceptibly smug aunt approaching the alicorn as we did. The celestial ruler glanced at her to acknowledge her presence before turning to me. "May we calmly discuss this new hive of yours?"

"As long as Cain can be a part of the discussion", I replied evenly.

"Of course", she smiled warmly, nodding. "After all, he is your mentor."

"Indeed. However, I wouldn't call it a new hive, if it were me. As far as I know, Chrysalis has been ruling there for quite some time, right", he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"She has", Celestia nodded. "However, Jackson is now the highest ruling body in the hierarchy, which makes it his hive now."

"Regardless", I interrupted loudly, "what about the hive?"

"Now that the hive is under your control it is part of the nation of Equestria and therefore no longer a threat", my mother smiled happily.

"And", I asked as nervousness began to eat at me.

"We can offer the changelings proper medical care and education", she grinned, the nervousness giving way to confusion within me. "We can integrate them into society properly and safely because you control them!"

"Not at all times", I mumbled and was silent for a moment. "Why the sudden change in opinion, mom?"

"Ah, that", she said softly as her grin faded and her ears fell. "I was harshly unfair to them and Sir Cain pointed this out to me. Just as you were given a chance, so too should they."

"Okay", I eventually nodded and turned to Cain. "Any thoughts?"

"It's a brilliant idea, even though I feared mistreatment of the changelings", he replied with raised eyebrows. "However, you all have work to do to ensure the stigma against changelings in the public's eye gets truly buried by trust and understanding. Perhaps you should create a lust or love drive, where ponies can come and donate emotions by storing them in catalyst crystals, so that the changelings can have food without having to hurt ponies?"

"That would be a feasible solution until we could fully integrate changelings into society", she nodded enthusiastically.

"We could always mandate a changeling sponsorship program", Luna shrugged with thinly veiled disinterest.

"We can't force ponies to accept changelings", Celestia snapped and turned to me. "Jackson, how did you integrate the changelings into your staff so seamlessly?"

"I told them if they had a problem with changelings then they could get the fuck out", I snickered as my mother facehoofed in disappointment.

"Essentially forcing it", Cain deadpanned.

"I didn't force anything", I retorted before tilting my head in thought, finger tapping my chin. "Except for my cock in Chrysalis's plot. "

I gave a short yelp and spit out a white feather as my mother growled at me with narrowed eyes.

"Moving on", Cain said loudly. "Most ponies have been subject to a lifetime of fear mongering when concerning changelings, correct?"

"Unfortunately, yes", my mother replied with a furrowed brow.

"Why not go on a campaign with some high ranking changelings, show the ponies they're not all bad? Of course, there are bound to be bad apples, but the same goes with any race. If I recall correctly, one certain pony paid other ponies to have Jackson killed. So", he shrugged and stared at the diurnal diarch. "How does that sound?"

"Uhh", I drawled and motioned to myself. "Changeling king! Right here!"

"Of course you will be there", my mother sighed and rubbed her temple with a gold plated hoof.

"Okay", I nodded. "How about Blitz, my guard lieutenant that works with Silver?"

"He would be a good candidate", she nodded thoughtfully. "It would prove the changelings aren't lawless animals."

"You shouldn't need too many. Avoid making it seem as if all changelings are good, though I believe that need not be said", Cain said and nodded before rubbing his jaw in thought as he spoke again slowly. "That would help bury fear, and the food situation is handled, so that leaves only one more issue. Integrating them into society, for jobs and such. Many could be workers in the fashion industry. I imagine changelings would be highly sought after by fashionistas or designers, as a changeling would make a perfect model, no?"

"I can talk to Rarity about being the first", I nodded and my expression shifted to a grin. "I can persuade her."

"Don't you dare threaten that sweet mare", my mother gasped.

"Dafuq?! No, I was gonna seduce and entice her with promises of greatness", I replied with annoyance and stared at her. "What kind of shitbag do you think I am?!"

"A mare beater", Luna replied immediately with a bored expression.

"Fuck you", I spat and shuddered as she winked at me with a grin.

" Jackson, language", my mother sighed and slapped Luna with a wing. "Luna, stop instigating."

"I've heard of this Rarity", Cain said with a raised eyebrow. "She's a popular designer, isn't she?"

"Very popular", I nodded and turned to him as my mother quietly scolded Luna after she muttered some vulgar insult. "She's in good with Hoity Toity and Photo Finish so we can get her designs and the changelings' adorable mugs out there far and wide! And who, other than Fleur de Lis, is more lusted after?!"

"Rather logical, albeit vulgar", mom replied as she stared at me. "You should take the most attractive female with you to Rarity's boutique."

"Attractive to changelings or...", I trailed off, meeting her dull stare with wide eyes. "Right, attractive to ponies."

"Dumbass", Cain smirked.

"Ears", I grinned at Cain as motivation bit me.

"Ears", Cain repeated in confusion, glancing at the auroral alicorn. "Getting the changelings' looks out there would definitely be a good idea, but one must be careful. However, what on blue earth do you mean by ears?"

"I warned you", I shrugged and took a breath.

Cain blinked in realization as I let out a shrill, inhuman chirp that rang through the halls of the castle and caused him to stagger backward holding his ears. I looked around and was greeted with the sight of both alicorns and Twilight on the floor cringing in pain with their hooves over their ears. I smirked at my aunt's pain but felt bad for my mother and unofficial marefriend.

"Right, well thanks for trying", Cain growled deeply and righted himself, slowly turning to the doors. "Brace yourselves. Hormones are coming."

The sound of clattering wings met our ears right before a sea of lustful pheromones washed over me, followed by seemingly every single female from the hive and castle mindlessly climbing over each other to reach me, swarming around me to rub against me before being pushed aside by the needy bodies of others. The combination of the pheromones and the physical contact drove my libido to the extreme causing an instant erection that tented the front of my pants comically.

"Somepony forgot undergarments", Luna cackled and stared, as did Twilight, while my mother blushed and averted her eyes.

"I take it you sent out the wrong call, then", Cain smirked and looked at me, chuckling at mom's reaction as a sharp eyebrow quirking up in his now trademarked facial expression while carefully wading through the sea of bug ponies. "Or is there a changeling that really wants to see you?"

"I should have specified why I needed to see all the females", I groaned and facepalmed causing my aunt to fall over and roll on the floor, her legs flailing in the air as she howled in laughter. The changelings continued vying for attention as I looked up and met the gazes of two reserved changelings and a pair of perturbed vampony mares.

"This better not be what I think it is", Shadow growled as she stared at the ocean of estrogen.

I stifled a laugh as I spotted Twilight sneaking out of the throne room and waved my hands in front of me as I shook my head.

"I wasn't specific", I shouted and held my hands up, silencing the chattering mares. "I need you all to line up in groups of five!"

I sighed in agitation as the females began lining up, pheromones still flowing full force.

"And cut the pheromones", I barked. "I'm looking for models, not a piece of strange!"

The pheromones thankfully cleared as the last changelings took their places allowing me to think straight and get a count. I stared up and down the line of ninety six changelings, my eye lingering on the mare at the far right for a moment before turning to Cain.

"Will you help me find the top hotties", I asked him, nudging his arm.

"I'm not sure if my eye for women will match your requirements, but I will try", he replied and looked from one end of the line to the other before sighing and starting toward the assemblage of mares. "This is going to take a while."

"We'll look at them five at a time and make our choices from each set", I said as we got closer. "Then we do it again. We're going to take the top four."

"Why are you looking for changeling models", Hydra asked with confused curiosity as she tilted her head to the side, cocking her eyebrow.

"Ask mom", I muttered as Cain and I stopped walking.

"We'll start at the middle and go down separate sides of the line, pick from it and meet back up with our choices, then go from there. Sound good", Cain suggested as he stepped closer to the middle of the line.

"Sounds great", I replied and started down my side of the line. "When you're chosen, step forward."

I stepped in front of the first set and slowly eyed the mares. My attention caught on the middle mare and I asked her to turn slowly. She stepped forward on shapely legs, light flashing through the dainty holes in her legs. I glanced at her thin flanks as she turned and she blushed fetchingly bringing a small smile to my face. Her eyes lit up as I pointed to her and she hopped forward.

The next set of mares gave me some difficulty, my attention on the first and fourth mares. The first stepped forward and turned in a circle for me, her alluring gaze drawing my attention and allowing me to focus on the delicate structure of her muzzle. Painfully I tore my gaze away and inspected my other option. My gaze roamed down her slim but firm neck to her glistening carapace and supple flanks. As she turned away she flicked her tail aside and my jaw dropped from the sheer size of her tantalizing teats. I shook my head and bounced my gaze between the two before I met the first mare's gaze and pointed to her before moving on.

Seven more times I went through the process, choosing mares with beautiful features and alluring qualities. After the ninth choice I stood before a single mare. Her kind eyes glanced up at me with a nervous blush as I motioned for her to turn and she silently complied. Her legs boasted holes that lacked any sort of pattern but her shapely hips told of the multiple young she had birthed. My eyes lingered longer than I planned and I lightly shook my head before I motioned her forward.

I want my final choice in the finalists, beauty in everypony and all that, I whispered in Cain's mind and he replied in the affirmative, still making his own choices.

"Thank you all, my dears", I smiled warmly and nodded. "Those that were not chosen, you may return to whatever you were doing. The twenty that were chosen, please assemble in a random order."

I turned my attention to the ten that Cain had chosen, nodding appreciatively at the variety he decided on. I voiced my approval and he responded with nothing more than a warm chuckle and a wink.

All yours, I grinned in his mind. You're more of a fair judge but please pick at least one hottie.

Cain nodded once and moved to the line of twenty nervous mares, looking over each one with his head moving at a snail's pace as he looked over them all. His eyes narrowed and he pointed to a slim and attractive mare with a thin scar over her left eye, one of his previous choices. His finger next aimed at the mare I had requested with the motherly hips and she gasped loudly. He then pointed to the mare with the most alluring gaze and stunning eyes. His final decision was a fairly unassuming mare, well built with thick thighs.

"You four are the final picks", he smiled and motioned them forward. "The rest of you are dismissed."

"Fantastic choices", I smiled warmly and approached them. "Ladies, you're the lucky four that have been chosen for a historic event."

"Thank you, your Majesty", the four bowed.

"The four of you are to remain in the castle with Queen Hydra until I call for you", I commanded softly. "When that day comes, you four are going with me to Ponyville to see Miss Rarity, a well known seamstress, whom you will reside with and have a career modeling her designs. You will be the faces of changeling integration with the rest of society. This is for the betterment of both societies, so make us proud, my beauties!"

I smiled and watched them leave the throne room, mentioning lunch, and turned to see three of my four mares beaming up at us as Cain smiled.

"If you're wondering why I made the choices I did, each of them are different from the next, showing the beauty and variety of the changelings. A smart tactic that won't likely be seen outright, but it will be filed away in ponies' minds", he smiled and turned to the rest of us.

"I kinda figured that would be the case so I gave a variety of hot changelings", I grinned.

"This is a wonderful idea", Cindra sniffled and leapt into my arms, nuzzling into my neck while I held her close.

"Personally the one with the scar was my favorite", Cain smirked before his expression shifted to a warm smile and he nodded once in approval. "I smell the winds of change, and oh how sweet they smell."

"That scar was rather sexy", Shadow grinned in agreement, eyeing the blushing future model as she left the room.

"Well, we know we have the butch crowd's attention", Hydra smirked and nudged Shadow with her shoulder as I settled Cindra back on her hooves.

"For that, you only get to watch tonight", Shadow said with her own smirk. "No shlicking."

"Shit", Hydra muttered and whimpered as her ears drooped. "Can I at least clean Jackson up afterwards?"

"Nope", Shadow chirped with a grin as Cain looked from Shadow to Hydra as she slunk away.

"Quite the odd rabble you've amassed around you, huh", Cain asked and wrapped his cloak around himself again. "Eh, I suppose they wouldn't be yours if they were 'normal', now would they?"

"Rabble", Shadow grinned and rounded on him, flaring her wings and crouching like an animal ready to pounce as she pushed her aura onto him. "Wanna have a go, tough guy?"

"Shadow, no", I said loudly, drawing my aunt and mother from their quiet conversation as I slammed my aura into Shadow breaking her concentration and making her flinch. I glanced at Cain to see him looking at me with a grin.

"Aw, come on. I haven't gotten to flex mine since Shining tried to fat-neck at me", Cain said dejectedly and sagged his shoulders.

My gaze went from Shadow's defiant glare to Cain's begging visage as I thought about it. It had scared me just to witness it but at the same time Shadow was being bitchy even before the changeling incident. She doesn't know what she got herself into but surely Cain would take it easy on her.

"Fine, but just once", I sighed and turned to Shadow. "I'm sorry baby, but you asked for it."

Cain gave an evil grin and whirled around on Shadow, his entire demeanor changing. He bared his fangs and each of the four doubled in length with the sound of metal ringing against stone as his eyes turned a hellish red. His aura slammed into Shadow, one that made hers seem like a single drop in a five gallon bucket, radiating power and filling her with dread. As he took a step forward and breathed in to let loose a roar she screamed in terror and dropped to the floor covering herself with her trembling wings. He stopped and looked down, seeming to think against the roar.

"Enough", I growled, having seen enough, and stepped in front of my wife, bearing the brunt of his aura.

I opened my mouth and channeled the black miasma of his aura and devoured it as I would devour love. Instantly I knew I made a mistake as I collapsed, pulling Cindra down with me as she tried to catch me. My arms clamped around Cindra's chest with a grip like a vice, cracking her carapace as she cried out in terrified pain. Foam began to seep from between my teeth as they clenched hard enough to crack a few of them. Then came the convulsions, every single muscle in my body trying to contract at once causing the side of my head to rapidly and repeatedly slam into the stone floor quickly forming a pool of blood to form beneath me.

I barely heard my mother shriek my name in terror as I continued to convulse on the floor while Cindra cried out and tried to escape my grip with hooves scraping uselessly on the stone floor. Liquid fire raced through my innards and tore through my muscles causing me to let out a strangled cry. Rage and terror crashed through me over and over, the feeling of my mind being fed into a wood chipper crippling me as my body refused to obey my commands.

Cain's aura was reined in immediately and he raised a fist with light pouring from his fingertips before he let out a powerful roar and slammed his fist to the floor. Golden dust erupted from the point of impact and flooded the room, lifting both myself and Cindra into the air. My muscles finally relaxed as Cindra floated free from my arms. The cracks in her carapace healed before my eyes as I felt my scalp mending itself. My stomach churned and I gave several massive heaves until a glass orb filled with swirling black energy was finally expelled from my mouth before I was lowered to the floor again.

"There. That should do it", Cain said with a slightly weary voice and staggered backward a single step.

"Motherfuck", I groaned weakly and curled into a ball trembling. "Is that... w-what you... went through... Cind-dra?"

"Nowhere near that bad", she replied quietly as she and Shadow crawled over to me and gently curled up against me with their heads on my chest.

"Do not ever use your aura again", my mother breathed in shock as she stared at Cain in horror. "That power is too much for anypony to be subjected to!"

"I didn't expect him to try and eat it", Cain snapped irritably. "I was only going to cow her for a second, but dreadlocks here decided to go for a snack!"

He glanced at me before turning away, rubbing his armored bicep as if in mild pain.

"He was protecting his wife", Luna muttered, surprising me as she stepped closer eyeing Cain with a calculating gaze. "What's wrong with your arm?"

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you", my mother gasped, all fear or horror replaced with concern even as Cain turned his afflicted arm away and growled softly.

"I'm fine. That spell is called The Hand of God, and it's quite taxing on one's mana reserves. I'm not supposed to use it", he replied with an irritable expression and a twitching of his eyebrow. "It's just mild mana burn, nothing a few minutes of rest won't fix."

"Then please, sit and rest", my mother smiled and summoned a padded lounge chair. "It's the least we can offer as thanks for saving Jackson."

Cain waved his hand dismissively and glanced down at me.

"It's alright, but thank you for the offer though. Give him a few hours' rest and he should be fine. But what kind of idiot tries to eat a vampire's aura", he asked with a twitch of his eyebrow. He walked over to the orb and picked it up from the ground, tossing it in the air a few times.

"My kind of idiot", she replied and stretched up to kiss my lips gently.

"Fair enough", he chuckled and caught the orb, crushing it in his fist. As soon as the surface broke black tendrils sprung out of the debris and latched onto his armor, quickly absorbing into it as he shuddered. "Fuck I hate doing that."

"That's creepy", Cindra shuddered as he stepped back and looked at the three of us.

"What", I asked as he stared with squinted eyes.

"Remind me to keep him at least within my peripheral vision at all times", he rumbled calmly.

"He definitely acts without thinking", mom sighed, shaking her head at me before looking around. "Wherever did Umbra go?"

"Up there, like always", Cindra pointed up at a makeshift platform in the rafters, barely visible in the shadows near a window. As we stared up we saw just the barest glint of her eyes before even they vanished.

"Who is Umbra", Cain asked, his slitted eyes looking up as well.

"My clone", Shadow replied simply as she toyed with my white dreadlock. "She's Jackson's... special assistant. Lovely singing voice, though."

"I don't even want to know", Cain rumbled lightly and turned his gaze back from the rafters to all of us. "Well... this was interesting."

"Not everything is sexual with me", I mumbled as I let Shadow and Cindra help me stand. "We happen to be paranormal investigative and elimination specialists."

"What", mom asked in surprised confusion, oblivious to the dark blur that landed silently behind and crept beneath her.

"We hunt and kill anything not normal", Umbra said as a deadly blade extended from the sheath mounted to her right foreleg and barely touched my surprised mother's neck. "And even some that are."

"I'm just gonna take a couple steps away", he said and sidestepped toward me before looking her in the eyes. "T'would be wise to move it, yea?"

"You are bound to numbnuts", she replied softly, her eyes flicking to me as her nostrils flared. "I cannot touch you. Yet. But I think that you are more interesting alive."

"Umbra, put it away", I sighed and stared at her. "Do we need a repeat of Cantercun?"

"No sir", she eventually replied, sheathing her blade and winging her way back to the rafters as my mother cleared her throat and rubbed her neck nervously.

"Creepy yet lovable", I scoffed with a grin.

"I can't tell if she was threatening me or flirting with me", Cain said with a twitch of his eyebrow as he turned to me. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have quite the interesting following."

"I haven't figured it out either", I laughed and motioned for everypony to follow me before pointing at Umbra then the floor beside me. She grumbled as she landed beside me but was otherwise silent as we walked.

"Cain, did you know your aura tasted like zombie pussy", I asked as I turned to look at him earning a gasp from my mother and a bark of laughter from my aunt. Cain's jaw clenched as he cocked his eyebrow even higher and stared at me with a confused expression.

"Excuse me", he asked with a blink of surprise. "H-... How do you know what that tastes like?"

"We were after a zompony in Moonich and he wound up going down on the target without knowing it was her", Umbra smirked, her beautiful accent rolling through the air.

Cain shook his head in surprise and sputtered a little. "I can't imagine that tasted good. How the f-... How do you do that?!"

"They look normal during the day", I replied and wiped my mouth reflexively as my aunt cackled at my misfortune. "Long story short, I roasted her and removed the head."

"You roasted her because you didn't get to rut her", Umbra grinned, nudging me with her wing.

"Shut it", I barked and clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Did she taste like a rotting corpse", Cain asked, an edge of disbelief still in his voice.

"She tas- hey, stop trying to get me in more trouble", I shouted, earning an amused giggle from my mother.

"Hard to dig deeper than rock bottom, so spill", Cain said coolly, a light smirk touching his lips.

"Fine", I groaned and hung my head. "She tasted like dirt, cobwebs and cursed disappointment."

"Jackson knows what a lot tastes like", Umbra sighed and ducked under the backhanded slap I aimed at her sensitive ear.

"I'm not the one who got tentacle fucked in the Maremuda Triangle", I smirked and winked at her.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP AGAIN", she shrieked, her voice rising for the first time that day.

"Everyone's into something", Cain shrugged and smirked at me. "Not a bad choice. But I imagine he knows what a lot tastes like seeing as how it seems in most fights he spends a lot of time with his head in the dirt."

"Not every fight", I muttered, pouting with my hands in my pockets. "I still get the job done."

"If it's all well and good, I'd like to stop poking each other with pointy sticks", Cain said and cocked his eyebrow yet again. "What need we do now, or are we all free to go our separate ways?"

"You still owe me some training", I grinned and threw a few playful jabs.

"I could always use more training", Umbra shrugged and tossed her head. "But these two have things to do."

"Which two? There are a lot of people in here", he asked with a smirk before turning his eyes on me. "Hand to hand combat it is then. My knuckles could use a cushion to hit a few times. "

I rolled my eyes and shook my head with a chuckle as his eyes narrowed before he chuckled along with me.

"Meh, I've got too much blood in my body anyway", I shrugged.

"I meant Shadow and Cindra", Umbra replied with a humph.

"Right, that's it then, so we can head our separate ways", he asked and walked a little closer to me.

"Yes, we must return to Canterlot", Luna muttered. "We should just leave you three to train."

"Oh, mom", I called, pausing her in trotting away. "Can you check Aliyah and tell me if she's developing like a normal alicorn baby?"

"I... I can't", she replied sadly. "Aliyah is far from normal and... there's never been a naturally born alicorn. Not even us."

"I can't help but say I told you so", Cain smirked evilly and clamped his hand on my shoulder as I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "Nothing with you is ever normal, so it's best to figure it out without too many fuckups."

I looked from Cain's smirk to my mother's apologetic grimace and sighed even deeper.

"Well, fuck."