A/N: It's been too long, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My writing schedule is full and fics are unfortunately the easiest (and financially safest) thing to move back. But here is ch 18!
Also, I have to hype for Adventure:! Something about Takeru's character design in Kizuna promos has just been off in my eyes. Every other character seems very well-done but I can't pinpoint what it is in Takeru that doesn't work with how I picture him to look. So I'm putting my expectations for Adventure:. Haven't seen either one yet though, so, no worries about spoilers.
Stay safe!
Takeru sat on the side of the bed waiting for the mild numbness to reach his limbs.
It was going to be a long day, and even if Angemon was here now, even seeing his partner hadn't managed to squash down the pain long term.
The numbness had a levitating quality in it but the high never truly came, despite his deep graving towards the painkillers twenty minutes ago.
The rush was there, but it didn't seem to reach his consciousness.
Instead, the simplicity of having a clear all-consuming goal, a world where very few things mattered, was replaced by a pummeling feeling that nothing — least himself — was under control. And as the physical pain slowly receded, the emotional discomfort intensified.
Angemon touched him on the arm with the back of his hand, "Let it go."
Takeru swallowed thickly before giving a shallow exhale; he knew he would just need to keep his head together, he needed to be able to react swiftly today, be present.
He looked at the angel-Digimon who was packing their things and couldn't help noting the new scrapes on his partner's appearance. The marks didn't capture his attention in the sense of trying to get used to them, his mind was fully occupied by Angemon as a being, here, now. How many times had his eyes searched Patamon all those years ago to make sure the small Digimon was still there, what he looked like, sounded like — memorizing every single bit of information he could take in.
Now he was doing the same thing to attach himself back to those days.
He briefly wondered how Yamato and their parents were doing in the future. He could guess that the older brother was worried sick for him — that is, if any time had passed in the future.
What if they failed?
They had touched upon the topic with Angemon, but with so uncharted territory, there were no clear answers. The future Koushirou had constructed some complex models but, those too, had left more questions than answers.
Time had to pass on some level, since without it, the changes already done to the past before they got here wouldn't have been visible.
His mind had sometimes wandered back to the growing distortions in the Digital World and the following chaos in the Human World. Digimons had become a sore subject years ago and the re-surfacing problems had turned everything into a political pandemonium.
Despite taking an active stage in speaking for the Digimons, he had tried to evade the public discourse, the online chat-rooms, television coverage, and everything else — mentally at least.
Takeru's eyes stayed on Angemon as the angel-Digimon folded one of his shirts before placing it in the bag.
What if they had, indeed, already failed?
What if the future they had left behind was already carrying the past they were now living as the present? If they had already died in the future's perspective and the darkness was just spreading from year to year and catching up with the future?
There was a sharp stab on his left side that forced him to physically buckle.
"Takeru."
Angemon was kneeling in front of him in an instant, the blazer lying disregarded on the bed.
"Just a sharper stab."
Angemon seemed to contemplate his answer. Eventually, the angel-Digimon focused to survey Takeru's arm and chest. Angemon had managed to help him cope with the virus again but neither of them mentioned out loud how it was just a stalling tactic instead of a cure. They were running out of time not just to save the worlds but him as well.
Their conversation from yesterday was still clear in Takeru's mind and the sheer fact of being unable to let go of it bothered him.
He hated darkness with his every being — had hated since he had been eight.
And now the hate itself was consuming him, uniting him with his enemy.
Didn't he have the right to live?
He was supposed to live. Supposed to survive. That had been one of his clearest principles after Angemon's sacrifice. That he was not to put that sacrifice in vain. Because, at that moment, it wasn't just about his own life but Angemon's life as well. He knew it had been one of the key features that had helped him not to give up against Piedmon, that gave him the overconfident attitude against Puppetmon and Kaiser, because there had been no way he was going to lose to them. Survival had become so essential that when on the brink, he lost all fear because fear doesn't help you to survive. Instead, the specks of fear had been replaced by anger that people had had the nerve to challenge him to lose when he was, in fact, immortal.
Had to be.
He could never forgive himself otherwise.
But now he was tired. The situation had been going on for longer than he had thought possible in his arrogance, so many set-backs, so much pain, and for the first time, he wasn't sure anymore. Of who he was, who he wanted to be.
Is it worth fighting for until the end in Hell?
When you have already lost?
And for the first time, he allowed himself to taste the thought of dying. He had thought about it before, years ago, but then it had been the last escape plan, and afterward a barely-there whisper he had denied from himself. But now… he was starting to question if he wanted this at all, wanted to do this anymore.
What would happen to him then? No sirens were calling his name. His family members were still alive. Only really close to him to die had been Angemon, but even Angemon had come back and was here, looking at him and waiting for his call instead of waiting for him on the other side.
Somehow the situation struck him with great loneliness in front of the unknown.
And if he died, Angemon would die as well.
His vision seemed to come down to two options, either turn Angemon into Devimon or lead Angemon to death —unless they found a way to pull this off.
He should have been stronger.
They walked down the stairs to the bustling lobby, kids and Digimons going back and forth between the kitchen and the bedrooms, everyone packing their things and grabbing something to eat.
Angemon followed two steps after Takeru, carrying the bags on his right shoulder. Against the liveliness of the group Angemon was impassive, his gaze following the young teens hustling past them but not taking any part in the atmosphere.
Taichi, Sora and Iori were still eating and stopped in mid-air as they entered, Angemon being a quite startling sight when indoors.
Unbothered by the stares Angemon scooped them both a plate of soup while Takeru took two drinking glasses; their wordless coordination bringing some well-established dance-teams to shame.
"Do Digimons need more food in the adult form?" Iori asked referring to Angemon's full plate where barely a quarter of an inch of the porcelain could be seen above the soup.
"It's not that big of a change compared to Patamon's eating," Takeru remarked casually, anticipating and successfully ducking the fake-slap Angemon aimed at him as a result.
Taichi watched the pair's banter being pleasantly surprised by the interaction. However, it was followed by a more somber understanding of how much more relaxed Takeru was around Angemon than with any of them.
The leader of the team kept his mouth shut as long as he could to preserve the mood but, in the end, he had no choice but to bring the topic to the task at hand.
They would all leave to attack the Kaiser's hidden base that existed, according to the two and Koushirou, in some kind of warp. A space that existed in the outskirts of the Digital World and could influence it, but was hidden as if run by an emulator, discreet from the rest of the system if you didn't know what you were looking for. Taichi wasn't fully sure if he understood it but based on the way Yamato had shrugged his shoulders at him when they had been going to sleep, he wasn't alone.
Taichi didn't like the fact that he didn't have control over the group but during the past year, he had learned to delegate. He had a very capable team on whose hands he had relied his life on countless occasions; he didn't see the point of beginning to question them now. The only uncertainty in the plan was Takeru and Angemon but he trusted them in the given circumstances. Thus his only job before the actual battle was to hone the group together.
The area between the worn-out gorges was bare and mostly devoid of life.
Their center of attention was a larger slab of sandstone.
Takeru placed the small sensors around the area as Koushirou opened his computer and set to work. Takeru had never done this before but based on the experience of Koushirou and the others from his time, the method should give them access.
The kids and the Digimons watched their work while occasionally joining Angemon and keeping a good eye on the walls of rock around them.
Angemon had drawn them a basic cover but if this was one of the major routes to the Control Room they were officially sitting ducks. The fact that no-one had attacked them yet was more likely an ill omen than a dose of luck.
Almost as if reading everyone's thoughts Daisuke broke the silence, "You think it's gonna be an ambush?"
The following nervous silence was palpable.
"It probably is," Takeru replied evenly, before straightening up and slowly letting out a sigh, his expression somber.
What point is there to fight against something you can't change?
"What if part of us stays here to block the entrance?"
"And get eaten while waiting?" Takeru retorted back to Joe.
A light flashed through the sensors taking everyone's attention but nothing happened. Neither Takeru nor Angemon's expressions changed at the unsuccessful try. "Try a different one," Takeru commented imperturbably to Koushirou before setting to take a snack break.
As he had swallowed down the tea, his eyes surveyed Ken.
The teen was visibly nervous but trying to put on a brave face, not wanting to cause worry in his team-mates. Takeru glanced back at the slab of stone. This had to be immensely difficult for the young teen, a child basically, but they needed Ken in this. They had talked about it with Angemon but decided that they couldn't take the risk of leaving any of the Chosen alone. They had learned long ago that essentially nowhere in the Digital World was safe. Lulling into the opposite thought and leaving half of the team at who knows where would be even more nightmarish than to try and keep everyone alive amidst open war.
There was a tiny beep from the sensors and the stone became partially see-through.
"There?" Taichi asked peering into the hole with an apprehensive face.
"There," Angemon replied before carrying their bags on the edge, handing Takeru the Holy rod and lowering himself into the tunnel below.
There was a slight drop but luckily Angemon was tall enough to help the kids and the Digimons to climb down.
Takeru came in last after handing Angemon their bags and lowering himself down feet first and face towards the pit.
What Takeru and Angemon had expected, this wasn't it. Takeru could have put down some money to be back at a pristine version of the Kaiser's Base but the stone tunnels clearly weren't going to give him anything back. The whole place just felt wrong.
The young teens didn't have anything to say as they had been without further expectations than the materialized pitch black and eerie tunnels.
The group continued anxiously deeper into the system with few flashlights and a Baby Flame lighted wooden torch, making the droplets of water on the walls to glitter a few steps ahead of them.
Even if the Kaiser's Base couldn't have been called a great choice, at least then they would have had some idea on where they should be heading. Angemon had taken the tablet out to get some navigation guidance, showing the results to Takeru here and there or asking for kanji readings. However, the echo sounder only gave them a few turns without a destination.
They had passed tunnels, corridors and rooms that had been either looted bare or, as in few cases, contained broken machinery they couldn't recognize.
"I feel bad for saying this, but we might be walking a circle," Koushirou remarked breaking the silence everyone had tiptoed to savor in their anxiety. They had to have been walking for over half-an-hour by now.
Everyone slowed to a halt and Takeru checked the map, making sure they hadn't been mistaken.
"I think Koushirou is right, we've seen this gallery before," Mimi commented with Palmon in her arms.
It was dead silent with only the trickles of water falling down the stone when it clicked on more than Takeru's mind where the hell they were.
"It's Vandemon's castle." Tailmon issued with clear passive-aggressive resentment in her tone.
Takeru remained frozen as the kids exclaimed their disbelief, the youngest of the group trying to piece together the name from their memories.
Was he still tortured here? Or had he never been as the future was yet to happen?
"Are you sure?" Taichi asked from no-one in particular.
"But we destroyed the place when we jumped to our World." Joe continued with clear incredulous confusion in his voice.
"It is the same place, I can feel it. But I don't think I have ever been this part of it." Tailmon specified her posture tense, even with Hikari moving to comfort the cat-Digimon.
Takeru was still staring into the distance, taking in for the first time the upside-down pillar at the end of the hall.
The noises sounded to be coming from underwater but he did his best to answer them, "We are underground. This is a massive complex, only part of the above-ground structures collapsed during the fight."
Few heads turned on his way at the detached words, "You know where to go?" Sora asked hope in her voice.
To everyone's surprise, Takeru didn't answer back and swiftly turned on his heels to continue onwards, tapping the tablet seemingly to pull a map from the memory card.
What surprised everyone even more, was the raspiness in Angemon's voice as the angel-type Digimon called his partner before striding after the human, making everyone follow suit and forcing Iori to switch to running in order to keep up.
Takeru was as closed off as Angemon had ever seen. The human had an aura of a caged tiger. Angemon could guess that for the others Takeru appeared to barely contain his anger, but he could read how scared the human was.
He was reminded of his reprimand to Takeru a few weeks prior to open his feelings for others.
"You should be more open towards them. We are on the same side, and they are young and scared for not knowing what's going on. They can't trust you if don't give them a reason to."
Takeru gave him a look that stated: "I'll think of that."
He had just nodded in return, hoping things would work out.
Because Takeru was socially very competent. He knew what to say and how to act, but the human usually utilized his skills only to hide his problems and keep people at arm's length, not to foster his relationships.
However, now the message felt hollow. Because he could feel this place too.
Angemon could still remember Takeru's screams in this place. The little that had been left of his partner after the older Chosen had finally found them. The mutilated body and shredded organs. Dead if he hadn't been there to keep him alive through their connection.
And that damned virus in the pristine soul.
So much blood.
How could he ever heal the scars?
When he hadn't yet even managed to heal the ones from their youth.
"There's a lot of water," Miyako commented half-way aloud and fixing her glasses up her nose.
Angemon stayed silent as the kids gathered to peer over the stone railing to look at the floor level 60 to 70 feet below them.
True to the word the whole floor was covered by a mass of water. The dark waters looked inanimate but threatening, like a blender that just waited to be turned by a push of a button and all hell would break loose.
Angemon felt the hairs on the back of his neck stood up at the sight. More than that he knew Takeru could hear it based on the grip the human had on one of his wings.
And in the millisecond Angemon could feel the wave of darkness that split the air and pressed small spikes into his skin.
All the partner Digimons shifted closer to their respective partners, Hikari and Ken being the most affected.
"We need to move."
Angemon's voice contained tightness the older teens had rarely heard. Even TK was surprised, not fully grasping onto the connection between the surroundings and his future partner's reaction.
The group's mood didn't improve as they closed in on the assumed Control Room. With everyone so on edge, overturning the solemnity was tough.
The map, however, was a decent help, leading them finally to a closed wooden door.
"It's the door to my room," Ken said horrorstruck with his quiet voice carrying over the silence.
Takeru bowed his head in sympathy for a moment, "Can you try to open it?"
"You can do it Ichijouji," Daisuke said stepping forward, his face conveying pure trust for his friend.
Ken's face was almost the opposite of Daisuke's determination. The young teen couldn't even look at the doorknob.
"We'll be here, we'll deal with this together," Taichi said putting his hand on the younger boy's shoulder.
Gabumon, Veemon, and Armadillomon digivolved per Angemon's request, being the ablest to fight in the limited space. The other kids moved back with Joe, Taichi, and Yamato forming a shield in front of the others.
"Ready when you are."
Ken nodded at Takeru's words and with his hand trembling extended towards the doorknob. But everyone's heart skipped a beat for nothing as the door refused to open.
"Try with your Digivice," Takeru instructed after a second, earning a new nod.
Light flashed from Ken's D3 and the door creaked open, Angemon almost pushing the boy out of the line of shot, but none ever came.
The group tentatively walked to the infinite space. The Kaiser's chair was still in the room, and so were over a dozen screens showing a CCTV video from different parts of the complex. Many of the pathways they had walked through were detectable on the screens.
Ken stood frozen in place before a massive flash of headache forced him to clutch his head with both hands and drop Wormmon on the floor.
Miyako and Daisuke were the first to rush to Ken to ask whether he was okay. Takeru was the only one who didn't move to worry over the boy, his eyes unwilling to stop looking at the view he could recognize easily. It was from the stairway that led to the room where he'd been drowned. He had crawled and later been dragged down and up the stairs too many times to count.
He had vomited blood on those stairs more times than he had been conscious enough to count.
He felt sick now.
And all too hot, restless; a part of him laughed humorlessly and silently at the sheer twistedness.
Moreover, the image was only a half as the lower part of the staircase was submerged in the water.
Takeru could almost see Devimon reaching for him from the water, causing a sharp pain to rumble through his chest.
The pain was followed by a strong feeling of being out of place, out of the body — everything around him and in him felt foreign. And, not for the first time, Takeru felt something in him to be wrong. Not wrong in the good vs. evil -axel, but in the absolute.
Like a machine that had been set irreversibly with the wrong code, something that wasn't supposed to be, something that couldn't be.
But he was.
And his brain couldn't piece those two truths together as the fever changed to cold sweat along his back.
Maybe the thought had taken a lifetime, maybe it was just over 12 seconds before Koushirou called his name to ask whether he should connect his computer to the system – he couldn't tell anymore.
Luckily, Angemon was cognizant and declined the redhead's query in support of using their tablet with better malware detection.
After that, it took over an hour for them to get into the system, and even then Takeru felt partially guilty for having to resort to Ken's help. It was not the first time Takeru admired the cool determination Ken managed to gather when performing under pressure and knowing that the thing just had to be done.
However, what they could gather from the data was worse than cramping 12 people and their Digimons into a dark space.
Because Angemon's worry had been correct. The towers had already managed to accumulate too much energy into the Guard Levels and now it was trickling to the Digital World. Nothing big could come through thanks to the fortified walls, but the beasts pummeling against them were making cracks appear and the dark energy to filter through.
If they would now cut the system off and prevent the transmission of energy, the trickling would slow down immensely but on the drawback increase the pressure on the other side.
And with this place being much closer to the edges of the Digital World, almost a full gateway to the Dark Ocean itself, once they shut the system it would in all probability crash upon them.
The only positive aspect would be that as a partially detached area, they could sacrifice this small level to the darkness without it gaining access to the rest of the Digital World at the same time.
But they were here, far underground. And if the darkness broke free from its prison to the prison yard – –
It would be almost impossible to push it back in again.
