Chapter 97.

After the meal, Dean saw Cas starting to gather the dishes. "Sarah," he said, "You might wanna ... "

"Castiel," she said, "You leave those. Go to bed. I'll clean up in the morning."

"No, that's my job." said Cas.

"Well, you can do it in the morning, if you insist, but for now, go to bed."

Jules took his arm. "Come on."

They went upstairs. Dean waited to hear their bedroom door open and close and then said, "I can do the dishes, if you like."

"Bed, please, Mr Winchester." she said.

He almost argued, but something in her tone, something in her eyes, stopped him. "Okay. Goodnight." he said, bending to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." She turned to Sam, "You know what I'm going to say."

"Yes, ma'am." he said, standing up. He hugged her warmly. "Goodnight, Sarah."

As he pulled away, her hand rested for a moment on his arm and she said, "We will talk, Sam, very soon."

"Yeah, soon. After Michael." he said.

Dean exchanged a look with Sarah and then led the way upstairs.

When they were lying in the comfortable, if slightly short beds, Sam said, "So what was that all about?"

"What?" said Dean.

"Candles, happy thoughts, all that?"

"We can't have a nice meal?"

"It was all a little too 'last perfect moment' to me. We've faced a lot of potential endings together. I know how you act when you see the last pages approaching. Tonight, it felt like you were trying too hard. Giving us something good to remember."

"You're tired. Your head is full of God knows what. You haven't slept a lot lately. Do you think maybe you're reading too much into a few candles and a positive attitude?"

"No, because you don't have a positive attitude." said Sam.

"Maybe I wanted to celebrate Cas's good decision. Maybe he needed tonight to reassure him that it is the right decision."

"What will it take to convince you?" said Sam.

"I'm convinced. I told him to do it, didn't I?" said Dean, consciously keeping his mind from live-tweeting every doubt to Cas.

"You can be honest with me." said Sam, "If there's anything ... "

"There isn't. Everything's fine. Go to sleep." said Dean.

"Why do I feel like I'm seven?"

"The hair, the dress sense?" said Dean.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Seriously, Dean, I only came here to help. If you need ... "

"I need sleep." said Dean, but the concern in Sam's eyes made him feel bad about being so abrupt. "Look, there are thoughts in my head I wish weren't there and there are aspects of all this that aren't ideal, but I'm not gonna whine to you about any of it, because the only thing that matters is that Cas is happy. We can agree he deserves that, right?"

"Of course." said Sam, "I also think you deserve to be happy."

"Happy is reaching a little high for me. Closest I get is when you and Cas are okay." said Dean, "But I'm not depressed. I'm not suicidal. I'm not even worried that I'm crazy, now I know that Rhydian was the guy who washed your shorts."

"About that ... "

"Sam, forget it. The talismans served their purpose, even if they were a con that I fell for."

"You didn't. You worked it out. I always knew I couldn't trick you for long."

"I told Sarah we're going back tomorrow."

"Okay."

"No questions? No argument?" said Dean.

"No, none. You need to be the one calling the shots. If you need a break, take a break. To be honest, I'll be glad to get back to the bunker. I get uneasy when neither of us is there."

"Yeah, me too, but I'm glad you've been here with me this time. It's been good. I can't even say what you said or did that changed things, but having you here ... What I'm trying to say is ..."

"It's fine. I get it. I'm glad I could help. I know Cas helped more. Still wish I could have that connection with you."

"We never needed any psychic crap to have a more profound connection than that. You read my mind with no effort at all." said Dean,

"If you're afraid to talk about the link because you think I'll see it as a Destiel thing, I don't. You and Cas are brothers. Trust me, I know that territory."

"Yeah, you do." said Dean, "But it's not that. Talking about it, thinking about it, it's just not easy."

"Do you discuss it with Sarah?"

"I've started to and maybe that's why I need to go home."

"That place feels more like home than this one?" said Sam.

"No." Dean admitted, "Can we sleep now?"

"Do you want me to ask Cas to zap you asleep?" said Sam.

"I'll sleep like a baby as soon as we stop talking." said Dean, "Cas should right now be in the arms of his girlfriend. He wouldn't appreciate the interruption."

"If you need to talk, any time, day or night ... "

"Noted. Thanks."

They turned off the lights and Dean tried to sleep. After a while, he heard his brother's breathing change and he smiled at how well he knew the sound, how comforting he always found it to know that Sammy was sleeping soundly.

He told himself that what was right for his brothers was right for him. He needed their happiness. He needed good things to happen for them. If he could focus on how great this was for Cas and stop thinking of himself for five minutes ...

He opened his eyes and looked across at Sam, who never seemed to act or think selfishly. Even the lies about the talismans had come from a place of love and concern. Dean wondered what was wrong with him, raised by the same father, living the same life, that he could not, just for one day, stop thinking of himself and be happy for Cas. Sam had never been so petty and resentful.