Alright, before we kick things off here, we need to talk. Guys, I understand that you have ideas or movies that you want me to do, and I respect that. However, spamming me guest reviews about them is not going to get you anywhere. The only thing you are doing with that tactic is mildly irritating me by filling up my inbox with alerts that I will simply trash anyway. If you really, really want to give me a suggestion I will take seriously, just log in and do it. At least that way you will have my attention.

Also, keep in mind that I have not seen ever movie ever made since I was born. Movies that you love, I may have never seen at all because they simply didn't interest me.

MCU Counter: 1,319/2,000. Progress is slow, but steady.

RWBY Watches Classic Movies

Chapter 64

"So, Weiss, you still think this animated movie is for kids?" Yang asked.

"That last scene was more intense than I was expecting, I'll admit." Weiss said. "I think I'm starting to like it, if I'm being honest."

A few hours later, the remaining crew had unloaded from the escape craft along with what vehicles they had along with them. Thankfully, Adam had chosen the craft with the most critical vehicles. They were gathered around the large underground lake and stood in solemn silence as Sun placed a candle in an unused helmet and set it adrift into the water.

Adam took a deep breath before he spoke, loss heavy in his voice.

"Seven hours ago, we started this expedition with 200 of the finest men and women I've ever known. We're all that's left." He turned to face them. "I won't sugarcoat it; we have a crisis on our hands. But, we've been up this particular creek before, and we've always come through, paddle or no paddle." Sun saw Ruby looking down, and put a hand on her shoulder, silently letting her know he was there for her, and he laid her hand on his. "I see no reason to change that policy now. From here on in, everybody pulls double duty. Everyone drives, everyone works." He climbed a few steps and turned back to Jaune, as did everyone else. "Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, Mr. Arc. You and that little book."

"We're all gonna die." Glynda commented.

"Alright, people, saddle up. Lieutenant, I want this convoy moving 5 minutes ago."

"What does that even mean?" Ruby asked, "I've heard that saying in movies and TV, but I have never understood what it is supposed to mean."

Winter kept her mouth shut, not wanting to reveal the fact she didn't understand the phrase either. Neither do I, to be honest.

Engines roared to life as Sienna began yelling out orders. "Mole, you've got point. Nora, you know the rules. Ruby is driving the Oiler, I want you 50 yards behind that truck at all times."

Adam watched Neptune climb into his digger, and turned when he heard the honking of a horn. He saw the source was Jaune, who was idly playing with the horn on one of the trucks. Adam quickly walked up to it, grabbed the horn and tore it off.

"Are you sure you're checked out for this class of vehicle?" He asked Jaune.

"Huh?"

"Can you drive a truck?" he said plainly.

"My dad taught me how to drive a stick shift when I was fifteen." Jaune answered. "It's not as tough as most people think. It's all about coordinating your movements."

"Pfft! Of course I can drive a truck." Jaune scoffed as he climbed into the driver's seat. "See, it's all very simple. You got your gas, your brake, steering, and this, metal, uh, looking thing." Adam gave him a deadpan stare. "Okay, okay, it was a bumper car at Coney Island, but it's the same basic principle."

Minutes later, Jaune sat in the seat of his truck, sadly toying with the wheel as Neptune's digger pulled him along.

"Clearly, it is not the same." Pyrrha joked.

The road was long and winding, and Jaune eventually began simply riding with Adam and Sienna, reading the Journal to determine their route. At one point, they had to use a crane to lower the cars down to the next portion of road when it was reveal that the road had been broken due to tectonic movement. Another time, they came to a fork in the road that led into either eye of a massive stone skull. Jaune had told them to go left, but was quickly proven wrong when a giant insect nearly attacked them. Upon further inspection, he realized he had been reading the Journal upside down. The crew had not been kind to him for the next few days.

During a rest break a few days later, Nora walked up behind Jaune as he finished drinking from a canteen.

"You didn't just drink that, did you?" she asked, and Jaune nodded. "That's not good. That was nitroglycerin." Jaune immediately froze up, and slowly tried to put the canteen back where he found it. "Don't move, don't breath, don't do anything except pray, maybe- "

"BOOM!" Neptune yelled behind Jaune, making him jump and scream in fright.

"Oh, come on." Jaune complained.

"What, you upset over a little tag teaming?" Neptune asked.

"No, it's just that Nora has never needed help with her pranks."

"I pride myself in being a one-woman mayhem machine." She said proudly.

It was only when Nora and Neptune walked away laughing that Jaune realized he'd been had. It was typical for the trip. He'd been on the outs with basically everybody since day one. He kept his own camp, ate meals alone, all the while pouring over the Journal and his notes to keep him busy.

After about two weeks of travel, the expedition's path was once again blocked. This time by a massive pillar and a gorge they didn't have the tools to cross.

"Good night! Would you look at the size of this!" Jaune said, admiring the pillar Nora was placing explosives around. "It must be half a mile high, at least. It must have taken hundreds, no thousands of years to carve this." Nora quickly pulled Jaune to safe distance before depressing a plunger. Nora smiled as the explosion had the intended effect of toppling the pillar across the gorge.

"Hey, look, I made a bridge." She said, admiring her work, "And it only took me, like, what? Ten seconds. Eleven, tops."

"See, that's more like it." Jaune smiled.

"Sun, you can have the doctor's job. I like mine better." Nora grinned.

"Deal." Sun agreed. "Though, admittedly, yours does look like more fun…"

A few days of biting cold temperatures later, the convoy stopped again.

"Looks like we got a little roadblock." Adam said, staring up at the massive stone wall blocking their path. "Nora, what do you think?"

"I could un-roadblock that if I had about two hundred of these." She held up a stick of dynamite. "Problem is I got about… 10. Plus, like, five of my own, and some cherry bombs, a road flare. Hey, too bad we don't have any nitroglycerin, eh, Jaune?"

Neptune erupted into hysterical laughter, hanging out of the cockpit of his digger.

"In theory, that would work," Nora said, her chin in her hand, "But it's also likely to take the entire road with it in the blast wave."

"Looks like we're gonna have to dig." Adam said.

Neptune gasped excitedly. "It would be my pleasure."

After everyone had cleared the way, Neptune turned on his drill and began to tear into the wall. He made it about five feet before the controls began to spark and the engine backfired. He cursed at his machine and coughed as he choked on smoke and dust filtering into the cabin.

"I don't understand." Ruby frowned, opening up the engine hatch. She climbed in and began to root around. "I just tuned this thing up this morning."

"Um, could I- " Jaune said before she cut him off.

"It looks like the rotor's shot." She said, pulling herself out of the engine. "I'm gonna have to pull a spare from one of the trucks."

"Can I-"

"Don't touch anything." She told him with fire in her eyes. "I'll be right back."

However, Jaune could actually see the problem. Seeing an opportunity, he reached into the engine, twisted a few valves and gave the boiler a solid whack with a wrench, just like he did at the museum. Smoke poured from the exhaust as the beast roared to life.

"She lives!" Neptune cried happily.

"Hey, what'd you do?" Ruby asked.

"Please don't be lame, please don't be lame, please don't be lame." Jaune pleaded to himself.

"Oh," Jaune tried his best to look cool for a teenage girl, "Well, you know, the boiler on this thing is a Humac Model P54/813, and we got the 814 back at the museum. The heating cores on the whole Humac line have always been a little bit temperamental, so sometimes you just need to, boom, persuade them a little."

"Aaaand, fail." Jaune hung his head.

"Hey, I thought you sounded alright." Ruby protested.

"Ruby, he pulled up his pants and acted like a Chad." Yang said.

"You're not helping." Ruby hissed.

"Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Shut up." Ruby said as she closed the hatch. She wound up to take a swing at him, and he braced himself for the blow. "Two for flinching." She said, giving him what accounted for a pair of love taps to anyone else. Jaune however, turned away and furiously rubbed his arm as the digger continued it's progress, with the convoy following close behind.

"Okay, I deserved that."

Later that day, the group found themselves before another gorge, this time with an intact stone bridge spanning the distance and a strange green-glowing rock formation above them.

"This is it." Jaune said, double-checking an illustration in the Journal that seemed to match. "It's gotta be."

"Alright, we'll make camp here." Adam decided.

"Why is it glowing?" Ruby asked.

"Don't worry, it's just a natural phosphorescence." Neptune said.

"That thing is gonna keep me up all night. I know it." Nora said.

"Hey, nothing wrong with a natural night light." Ruby said.

"Gotta agree there." Jaune nodded. The moon had been a huge help on the nights RNJR had to camp out on the road to Mistral. It amazed him how something that seemed so childish a few years ago seemed so practical now that he had been in the real world.

Later that evening, camps had been made and the light from the rock was significantly lessened.

"Come and get it!" Ozpin called out, ringing a triangle. He went around to the campfires, pushing a cart of… something, and ladling it out to everyone. "For the appetizer, Caesar salad, escargot, and the oriental spring rolls."

"That looks nothing like any of the things he just said." Weiss said, her face turning green.

"I am suddenly very appreciative of how much money you put into the cafeteria staff budget." Glynda told Ozcar.

"As are all the students, I'm sure."

"I wanted the escargot." Neptune whined, looking at Ruby's dish.

"Trade ya." She said, offering her dish in exchange for his much less greasy-looking tray of slop.

"There ya go, Jauney boy." Oz said as he came to Jaune's camp and handed the blonde a tray. "Put some meat on them bones."

"Thanks Oz. That looks… greasier than usual." He grimace-smiled.

"You like it? Well have some more." He took the pot and dumped more of the "meal" on Jaune's tray. "Yer so skinny, if ya turned sideways and stuck out yer tongue you'd look like a zipper."

"Heh. The old man used to say that about me." Qrow commented.

"Wait, I thought you and Raven never knew your parents." Summer said.

"I meant Avius, the Branwen chief we were raised under."

"Riiiight, him. Sounds like a dick."

"You know, we've been pretty tough on the kid." Sun said, "What do you say we cut him a little slack?"

"Ya, you're right, I guess." Ruby said, turning to Jaune. "Hey, Jaune! Come sit with us."

"Really? You don't mind?" he asked, getting up from his seat, tray in one hand and Journal in the other.

"Nah, park it here." Ruby indicated an empty seat between her and Sun.

"There needs to be more people like this in the world." Ruby commented.

"Thanks. I'm glad to be included-" as he sat down a loud farting noise came from behind him. red-faced, he looked down and saw a deflated whoopie cushion and one Neptune cackling on the ground.

"Mole!" Sun, Ruby and Nora yelled while Glynda just rolled her eyes at the boy's antics.

"And guys like that need to have many bad things done to them."

"That joke was bad and he should feel bad." Neptune commented, frowning at his other self.

"What? He needed to be initiated somehow!" Neptune grinned.

"Don't worry about it." Jaune said, tossing the prank to the blue-haired man. "My sisters put me through a lot worse. Tanya most of all." He opened up the Journal and began re-reading a passage as he ate.

"Hey, Jaune, don't you ever close that book?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah, you must've read it a dozen times by now." Sun grimaced as he pulled a fish bone from his slop.

"I know, but this- there's this thing here that doesn't make sense." He pointed at the passage he was reading with the clean end of his spoon, "See, in this passage here, the Shepard refers to something he calls 'the Heart of Atlantis.' It could be the power source the legends refer to, but then you turn the page and it cuts off. It's like there's a missing page."

"So, this guy sees the phrase 'Heart of Atlantis' and no warning flags go up?" Emerald said, "I can't tell if he's ignorant or equally as arrogant."

"Even I understand how hinky that sounds, which is saying something." Mercury agreed.

"Careful, it's learning." Neo signed to Roman.

"Kid, relax. We don't get paid overtime." Nora told him.

"I know, I know. Sometimes I get a little carried away." Jaune admitted, putting his tray on the ground. "But, hey, that's what all this is about, right? Discovery, teamwork, adventure? Unless… you all are just in it for the money?"

"Money." Said Sun.

"Money." Ruby agreed.

"Money." Neptune confirmed.

"Money." Glynda said, taking a drag from her cigarette.

"I'm gonna say 'money.'" Nora answered.

"At least their honest about it." Jaune sighed.

Jaune sighed and started rubbing his neck. "Well, I guess I set myself up for that one."

"Something wrong with your neck?" Sun asked, eyebrow quirked.

"Oh, yeah." Jaune said. Sun stood up and walked up behind Jaune. "I must have tweaked it when- ah!- AH!" he yelled when Sun cupped one of his cheeks, placed a fist against the other and twisted his head left, then quickly back to the right.

"Better?" Sun asked as he took his seat.

Jaune cracked his neck with a grunt. "Ah, yeah. Where'd you learned to do that?"

"An Arapaho medicine man." He said simply.

"Get outta here." Jaune said in disbelief. The Arapaho were one of the most well-known warrior cultures in all of Menagerie, best known for their ability to survive in the island's harsh eastern deserts.

"Born and raised with 'em." Sun said pulling a picture from one of his chest pockets. It showed a man with brown hair holding hands with a fair-skinned woman both of whom had monkey tails wrapped around their waists. "My father was a medic in the Vacuo Army. He settled down in the Kuo Kuana territory after he met my mother."

"The only thing accurate about this is that those are my actual parents; Bardock and Gine."

"No kidding."

"Nope." He unbuttoned some of his shirt and pulled out a necklace with several trinkets on it. "I got a sheep skin from Howard U, and a bear skin from Old Iron Cloud. Halfway through medical school I was drafted. One minute, I'm studying gross anatomy in the class room. The next, I'm being given a crash course on field dressing bullet wounds in the middle of an active battlefield."

"Main course!" Oz said, pulling up next to the camp. He was met with varying polite refusals for seconds. "Oh, don't you worry. It'll keep, and keep, and keep."

"Thank God I lost my sense of taste years ago." Glynda said as the five people each took their trays and dumped them on the fire, putting it out with a small nuclear fireball.

A few minutes later, Nora was walking by as Jaune was putting up his tent.

"Uh, aren't you going to pitch your tent?" She asked.

Jaune blinked at her owlishly. "I did." He pointed at his work. Calling it a tent was a gross exaggeration. Even I with my vast command of the English language cannot find the proper verbiage to adequately describe the utter shit catastrophe that was this man's tent area. Thankfully, Nora shoved her bedroll into Jaune's arms and set about fixing it.

"I am ashamed that my other self would dare call that abomination a tent." Jaune said.

"Melodramatic much?" Yang teased.

"You joke now, Yang, but Jaune takes this stuff very seriously." Ruby told her.

"Yeah, he would inspect out tents to make sure we had pitched them properly." Nora added. "Practically the definition of OCD."

"I guess I'm still a little rusty at this." Jaune said sheepishly, "I haven't gone camping since… well, since the last time Grandpa took us."

"I never met your grandfather. What was he like?" Ruby asked.

"Where to even start?" Jaune said as he rolled out his sleeping bag. "He was more like a father to us- me and my sisters. Our parents died when I was a little kid, and he took us in." he laughed as he remembered something.

"What?"

"Well, I was just thinking. There was this one time where the two of us were walking by a stream, and I saw something shining in the water. It was a genuine arrowhead. Well, you'd think I had found a lost civilization the way grandpa went on about it. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that the arrowhead was just some compressed shale mixed with zinc pyrite that had fractured into an isosceletic triangulate."

"TL;DR: I found a shiny rock." Jaune joked.

"That is so cute!" Neptune chuckled as he walked by, wearing full pajamas and holding a Pumpkin Pete's plushie.

"Say, Ruby, no offense here," Jaune said, holding his hands up apologetically, "But how does a teenager become the chief mechanic for a multi-million lien expedition?"

"Well, you see, I took this job when my dad retired." Ruby told him as she took off her boots, "But the funny thing is, he always wanted sons, right? One to run his machine shop, and the other to be middleweight boxing champion. But he got me and my half-sister, Yang, instead."

That explained one thing at least. "So, what about your sister?"

"24-0, with a shot at the title next month." She said proudly. "As for me, I'm saving up for me and the old man can open another shop."

"Oh yeah!" Yang cheered, flexing her arms.

"Sometimes I wonder if Yang shouldn't have become a professional fighter instead." Tai told Summer.

"Hah. Can you imagine her as a pro wrestler? She would be a champion in no time flat." She agreed.

"If the writers are smart, at least." Qrow added.

"Forget your jammies Mrs. Goodwitch?" Jaune asked as the woman in question walked by wearing one of the expedition's coats, fluffy pink slippers, her hair in rollers and a face mask.

"I sleep in the nude." She replied.

"You're gonna want these." Sun said, tossing him a blindfold, "She sleep-walks."

"No one… say… anything." Glynda said, her Aura of Intimidation in full effect. Not even Mercury was stupid or suicidal enough to try anything.

"Well, as far as me goes," Nora said, getting comfortable on her bedroll, eyes covered and matchstick behind her ear, "I just like to blow things up."

Sun walked over and pulled the covers up. "Come on, Nora. Tell the kid the truth." He told her.

She glared at Sun before sighing. "My step-family owned a flower shop. We would sell roses, carnations, baby's breath, you name it. One day, I'm making about three dozen corsages form this prom. You know, the ones they put on their wrists? And everybody, they come, 'Where is it? When is it? Does it match my dress?' It's a freaking nightmare." She covered her face dramatically. "Anyway, I guess there was this leak next door, gas or whatever- BOOM! No more Mistrali laundry. Blew me right through the front window." She took the match and lit it with her thumb. "It was like a sign from God! I found myself that boom."

"That was… surprisingly heart-warming." Weiss commented.

"I may still be an orphan, but at least I found a forever home." Nora added. Ren took her hand and she leaned against his shoulder.

Not far away, they heard grunting as Neptune literally dug himself a hole and laid in it to sleep.

"What's Neptune's story?" Jaune asked with a grimace, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Trust me on this one, you don't wanna know." Sun said. "Ruby, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did, and now I'm telling you, you don't wanna know." To end the conversation, he blew out the lamp, bathing the camp in darkness.


Fun fact about Mole: What Sun didn't want Jaune to know was that Mole (and thusly, Neptune) apparently spent most of his youth exploring the sewer systems of Paris, which developed his fascination for the earth as well as his little headgear. Not all that bad considering what he could have been doing on the streets of the early 20th century.

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Next Update: 3/10/20