Lily:
This was officially ridiculous. Lily felt incredibly close to James now. They spent far more time together, they laughed, they confided in each other, it was almost like none of the awfulness of the past months had happened at all. But James wouldn't do anything to move them forward, and Lily was at a loss for why. She didn't feel as though his feelings for her had changed, but his momentum from the months of traveling seemed to have fizzled out to a crawl.
Lily came into her rooms with Marlene at the end of the day and threw herself into her favorite chair.
"What's your secret?" She looked accusingly at Marlene.
Marlene chuckled. "Lils, why don't you tell James you want him to kiss you? I bet that would change his insistence on acting like you have an audience in the room with you."
"He should know by now. I came back didn't I?"
Marlene shook her head, "You came back with a fence around you. You told him you weren't sure if you loved him as King and that you were struggling with what he did as simply James. You told him you wanted to figure out if you loved him. I'd bet he's waiting for you to give him the go-ahead."
"But, while we were traveling he kept trying to sweep me off my feet."
"The rules were different when we were traveling together. You changed them when we got here."
Lily hated it when Marly was right.
"Well, now what? Do I close the door to his study and say 'I do love you, so stop acting like I'll explode if you kiss me'? That's really romantic."
Marlene laughed, "If that's the style you like then sure."
Lily frowned, "I'm being serious."
Marlene laughed and Lily shot her with a glare. "I hate his name."
"Lily, I love you, but the answer is pretty obvious. You need to let him know you love him, that you never stopped loving him."
"We were supposed to start over."
"That was a good way to get comfortable again, but Lily, did you honestly believe you could throw out everything you had before? You two were inseparable before Enid, not because we were traveling together, but because you wanted to be with each other. Forgive him for lying, tell him you love him, and set a wedding date."
Marlene's words made the whole situation seem childish.
"You told me in Enid you were done letting people act for you," Marlene added with a look that reminded Lily of when Elspeth found them doing something foolish.
And that felt like the nail in the coffin. Marly was right. Lily had said she was taking control of her life. She wasn't going to let anyone decide for her and she wasn't running away. Which meant in this case that she needed to stop waiting around for James to do something.
"Why is this easier for you and Sirius?"
Marlene sighed, "What Sirius and I have is just hard in different ways than you and James."
"Yes, snogging in the corridor is much harder." Lily laughed but paused when Marlene didn't join her.
"I'm sorry."
"You're fine," Marlene pushed her palm against her forehead and closed her eyes. "We're playing with fire, Sirius and I. Our oaths forbid us from marrying, they keep us baren, but they say nothing about love or having whatever we have. But the magic behind them is complex and ancient and I'm just waiting for the floor to be pulled out from under us."
"What if it doesn't? What if you and Sirius get to live out the rest of your lives happily ever after?"
"Guardians don't do this, Lils."
"There's a first for everything. Wouldn't it be better to be the ones who go down in flames trying to make things better for the future? I hate that you can't simply protect me. That you have to give up everything in the name of keeping me safe. What if you two being together was the catalyst that made things change for the better?"
Marlene smiled, "It all sounds rather noble when you put it that way."
"I'll get James to decree it or something if it makes you feel better."
"That has to be the most princess thing you've said in months." Marlene teased.
"What good is being a princess if I can't do nice things for my sister?"
"Thank you, Lily."
"Thank you," Lily pulled her sewing to her. "Now to figure out how to tell James, well, everything."
"What if we did something different tomorrow? You don't have to stay in James' study. I know it's freezing outside, but I'm sure we could find some sort of change of scenery for you, and that might give you the push to say some of that 'everything' you're talking about."
Lily grinned as an idea started to take hold. "Is it really so cold out?"
"I don't know, I haven't been out today. But I'm told the snow should fly any day now."
"Are you up for some warming spells?"
"What do you have in mind?"
Lily smiled, "Horseback riding."
