Chapter Ninety-Eight: Pass the glitter
"I don't think you really need this many posters," Levy said, coming back from setting another one by the back patio to dry. "You're already going to win."
"We don't know that." Erza's eyes remained focused on her poster, carefully using the paint marker to write 'Vote for Erza' on the top before decorating the rest. "Johnathon may just beat me. He's got that sob sorry about his dad, and people always love a good backstory."
Gray shook his head, drawing snowflakes in the corners of his poster for the fun of it. Everyone knew Erza was guaranteed to win, but their friend was adamant about lining the annex with more posters, just in case there were some swing voters who hung out in there.
The election would be over by the end of next week, meaning Erza wanted to reach as many students as possible before they cast their votes. Her friends were helping her, even if they thought it was silly.
"Hey, did you add me as a friend on Pokémon GO yet?" Levy asked, sliding her trainer code info to Gray.
He shook his head, loading his app before taking a picture of her code so they could become friends in the game. It was a new feature, allowing them to send gifts with items and build their friendship. They gained experience as well, which helped boost them closer to the next level.
When they became better friends, they would open the options for trading Pokémon and battling, something they were all excited about.
Lucy bopped her head side to side as she listened to the faint music coming from Natsu's phone, happy she had already friended everyone in the group who played on day one. She was great friends with Levy, Gray, and Natsu since they played every day, and within a month she would make them ultra friends.
'Next step is best friend, but I don't need a game to tell me who my best friends are.' She glanced up at Levy, her heart warming. She didn't know what she would do if she never met her, the girl a ray of sunshine in Lucy's dreary life at the time.
She couldn't imagine her life without her friends, and didn't want to try. They made her feel full, happy and safe.
Her eyes wandered over to Natsu, a soft smile gracing her lips. He seemed oddly focused on his poster, brows darted and jaw strained. Dark bags hung under his eyes, resulting from his lack of sleep.
'He shouldn't have taken so many AP classes. He's constantly stressed out lately.'
They barely had time to see each other, Natsu spending all his free time at home studying or at work. Levy had three AP classes too, but she seemed to be holding it together better, even spending a few afternoons with Lucy when Natsu had to bail.
'Maybe I can convince him to hang out with me one of these weekends. I'm sure he could afford to quit studying for a few hours and relax with me.'
She planned on asking today when they got a moment alone, but with all the people in her living room, she doubted that would happen.
"Lucy," Virgo said as she entered the room, holding her car keys and purse. "I'm going out to have lunch with a friend. I trust everyone will behave while I'm gone?"
The girl nodded while everyone else agreed, Virgo at ease as she left the house, leaving five by themselves.
It wouldn't have been a problem, but after twenty minutes, Levy got a call saying she needed to come home.
"Darn it. I'm sorry Erza, I have to go."
Erza shook her head, standing to give her a hug. "Don't sweat it. Thank you for helping."
"Is Gajeel coming to get you?" Lucy asked, causing Levy to sigh.
"No. He's at work. It's not that far of a walk though."
"Forget about it," Gray said, stretching his legs as soon as he stood. "I'll take ya."
"Are you just trying to get out of working?" Erza asked, giving him a dull expression as she raised a brow, seeing through his act.
Gray gulped, failing to keep his voice steady as he said, "O-of course not. I uh, umm."
Erza chuckled, allowing Gray to breathe easy when she waved them along. "It's fine. We're almost done here anyways."
"Cool. See you guys later!"
"Drive safe," Lucy said while Natsu remained silent, appearing zoned out.
Gray raised a brow before walking over, giving Natsu's shoe a light kick. He jolted, sucking in a breath as his eyes searched for danger. When he found Gray's gaze, he scowled, scooting away. "Watch it."
"You're crabby today." Gray didn't seem to take it personally, but he did look like he wanted more of a reaction than that. It wasn't unusual, the two always trying to get under each other's skin. "Lucy, maybe you can put him in a better mood. He's been a dick for weeks."
Levy smothered a laugh while Erza sighed, the two doing nothing to calm the blush surfacing on Lucy's face. She ignored the heat, telling herself Gray was just teasing.
Though, it had been a while since Natsu had shown her any affection, not that she was complaining. She knew he had issues with intimacy sometimes, but it wasn't like him to go that long without even a kiss. It had been sixteen days, and Lucy would be lying if she said it hadn't made her antsy.
Even a simple peck would be great, but it was like Natsu had pulled away from her, drowning himself in his studies, always having a book in his hands lately. It was like he had cut himself off to the outside world.
While she knew school was important, she missed him. He didn't even text her as much as he used to, but he couldn't hold all the blame. She had been busy herself, learning how to drive with Virgo and spending more time writing stories. She had fallen in love with a few characters she created recently, and she wanted to explore the world she built around them.
But, she also wanted to be kissed so much she forgot what it felt like to breathe and her heartbeat was blaring in her ears, but she certainly wasn't going to tell Natsu that!
"Bye you two," Lucy said, trying not to give them the reaction they wanted. They laughed as they left, but she ignored them. Her eyes flitted to Natsu, pleased to see his cheeks were stained red from the comment as well. 'So he's not completely oblivious.'
She swallowed before moving closer to his area, looking over the fire surrounding Erza's picture on the poster. Her lips remained sealed, not wanting to tell him it looked like Erza wanted to be the president of Hell with all those flames.
"Lucy, could you pass the glitter?"
She nodded, grabbing the small tube before walking towards Erza. As she tilted the tube to hand it over, the top fell off, not tightened properly after its last use. Glitter spilled everywhere, all over the carpet and Erza's shirt.
Both girls froze as their eyes grew large, neither knowing what to say as the endless shiny colors littered the air, taking a moment to settle in their new homes.
"Oh... my," was all Erza could muster, eyes raking over the clumps on her skin and clothes. Shaking them off proved to be a bad idea, the glitter only spreading. "I... think I'm going to change."
"You can borrow one of my shirts," Lucy said, knowing Erza knew the way to her room.
"Natsu, keep your eyes down," Erza said, the boy not paying any attention to her anyway. She waited a moment before standing, the relentless glitter shifting as she moved.
Erza carefully peeled off her shirt, but it was fruitless, the glitter getting in her red locks and all over the side of her face despite her best efforts to stay clean. She let out a groan before dropping the shirt, making her way upstairs to get cleaned up.
Lucy sighed at the mess, but she couldn't find herself angry at whoever didn't put the top back on correctly. Accidents happened, and fretting over it was going to do no good.
"I'm getting a vacuum," Lucy said, looking over at Natsu before frowning. He still wasn't paying attention, her cheek twitching as she told herself it didn't bother her, but deep down she didn't believe it.
Ever since he took that college tour, he had been either distracted and distant or completely focused on his studies. Which was fine at first, it was, but it was wearing down on her patience.
But what could she do?
She couldn't exactly ask him to prioritize her over school. He was in his last year, and judging by how serious he had gotten recently, he was going to do his best for his senior year.
Lucy grabbed the vacuum from the closet before making her way back to the living room, plugging in the machine on her way in. She hated how noisy it was, wondering why Virgo chose such a loud one, but then realized the maid did like punishment, even if it was self-inflicted.
'She probably likes the discomfort,' Lucy thought, shivering at the idea of the maid getting pleasure out of pain. 'So weird.'
As soon as she hit the button, Natsu jumped, eyes darting over to the source of the noise. Lucy couldn't help but laugh, giving him a teasing grin as she shouted, "So that's what it takes to get your attention?"
Natsu furrowed his brows as his forehead wrinkled, confused over her words. She didn't bother explaining herself, taking care of the mess decorating her carpet. When she had gotten all she could off the ground, she turned off the vacuum, pushing it off to the side for the time being.
"I don't know how to get the last bits out," she said, kicking at the carpet with her shoe, but it was ingrained in there. She knew Virgo wouldn't be upset at her. If anything, she would be thrilled to have something challenging to clean up for once.
It wasn't like their house got dirty anyway.
"You okay?" Natsu asked, causing Lucy to turn towards him.
She raised a brow, giving a forced laugh as she said, "Yeah, I should be asking you that."
"What do you mean?"
Blinking, Lucy tried to see if he was joking or not. 'He really hasn't noticed how distant he's been.' She found herself smiling, finally getting some time alone with him, even if it wasn't how she pictured it.
"Nothing," Lucy started, happy he was talking to her. For the first time in weeks, it felt like he was actually there. "Hey, so I was wondering, do you want to hang out next weekend? The next gen is supposed to be releasing, and I thought it'd be good to fill my Pokédex. What do you think?"
Natsu opened his mouth, but then shook his head. "I'm supposed to be working all weekend next week."
Lucy bit back a frown, not wanting to show her disappointment. "Oh, well what about Friday after school?"
She walked over to sit near him, missing the way he swallowed. Getting comfortable, Lucy said, "We could hang out then?"
"I think I'm seeing Gajeel then," Natsu said, his voice off, but she couldn't quite place why. "Something about his car. We're gonna take a look at it."
Lucy didn't bother hiding her feelings then, her shoulders falling as she looked away. "Oh, alright. That's cool."
Natsu's face sank, his voice caught in his throat before he hesitantly said, "Do... you wanna go to the homecoming game in like, two weeks?"
Lucy perked up, eyes brighter as she nodded. "Yeah, I actually wanted to ask you, but I knew you didn't like sports." She hoped he would agree to go to the dance afterwards as well, her spirits lifting before he tore them down without warning.
He shrugged, giving her an uneasy smile. "I'm not that into watching 'em, but Gray and Juvia were gonna go, and we can hang out with them there."
Lucy felt her chest get hot, but it wasn't the same heat she felt when she was normally around Natsu. Instead, she felt a little nauseous, her heart wanting to ignore what her brain kept trying to tell her, but she didn't want to accept it.
'He's avoiding alone time with you.'
Her bottom lip gave a tremble before she composed herself, the girl taking a subtle breath. "What about anytime this upcoming week after school? Would you want to hang out then?" Lucy asked, her stomach sinking when Natsu shrugged, giving her a noncommittal answer.
"Maybe."
She wanted to be patient and calm, but when Natsu started turning away to resume working on his poster, her eyes narrowed, a spark of anger igniting within her.
"Whatever," she mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.
"What?" Natsu asked, having the audacity to look confused.
"Whatever," Lucy said, keeping her gaze locked on his. "I don't know what I did wrong, but clearly you don't want to spend time with me."
"I—" Natsu's jaw went slack as he fumbled with his words, surprised by Lucy's remarks. "I never said that? I'm, Lucy, I'm spending time with you right now?"
Lucy pressed her lips into a tight line to keep herself from firing off with an angry response. Despite being heated, she didn't want to say or do anything she might later regret.
After taking a deep breath, Lucy loosened her lips, her words chosen carefully so he couldn't wiggle his way out of a proper response. "I feel like you don't want to spend time with me, just the two of us. I get that you've been busy at school, and I can understand that, but..."
Lucy had to close her eyes to gather herself, not wanting to show how upset she had become. She could feel the pricks in the back of her eyes, unshed tears forming, but she wouldn't allow it.
"But it's obvious you don't want to make an effort to spend time with me. I thought it was just because of school, but you have to take a break from studying at some point. Even if you just tried to make an effort I'd be happy, but it seems like I'm the last person you want to spend time with."
She opened her eyes but focused them just beside his head, feeling his gaze on her face. "I don't think I've done anything to upset you. I backed off on my jealousy, even when I saw you chatting with Lisanna and Hisui last week."
When she saw Natsu opening her mouth, she shook her head, not wanting to hear his excuses. "It's fine, I promise you it's fine for you to have friends that are girls, but it made me jealous because you were talking to them so happily, then when I walked up you just shut down, would barely even look at me. I just... I don't know. That really hurt my feelings, Natsu, and... and I think I deserve more respect than that."
"You do," Natsu whispered, his voice strained.
Lucy risked a glance at his face, heart constricting at the pain in his eyes. She couldn't stop herself from catching her breath, trying to stop the urge to cry. "Then why are you acting this way?" she asked, voice soft, her offense torn down for the time being.
She wanted to give him her trust, her time, and her heart, but lately, he didn't seem to care. It hurt, cutting deep. The only other pain that came close to it was being shut out by Michelle. 'Why do the people I care about keep abandoning me, the people I lo—'
Her face burned as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm her pounding heart as she focused. Now wasn't the time to get emotional. She wanted to appear in control.
Just as Lucy opened her eyes, Natsu looked away, lips pulled back to show his gritting his teeth. He swallowed hard, his green eyes finding hers once more before he released his breath. "I'm sorry. I... I knew I was kind of pulling away," he started, his words causing a crack in Lucy's heart.
'It was... intentional?'
"But I didn't want to. I still don't want to. I just, I'm not... good, right now."
When he closed his mouth, Lucy shook her head, not understanding. "What does that even mean?"
"I really wish I could tell you, but it'll only make things worse." Natsu wiped his eyes as a tear fell, his face oddly pale. "I-I feel sick."
"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" Lucy asked, preferring he explain himself but not wanting to add throw up to the carpet. The glitter was going to be hard enough to deal with.
He barely got out a nod before he rushed to the bathroom down the hall, Lucy cringing when she heard him gagging before he puked. She didn't know what to think, mind reeling at the confusing words he just said and the reaction he had to them.
"I'm not good right now?" What did that even mean? "It'll only make things worse?"
Lucy jolted when she felt a hand on her shoulder, forgetting Erza was still in the house. She looked up with wide eyes at her friend, seeing her red hair damp.
"Sorry, thought you heard me coming down." Erza sighed, snatching her shirt off the ground before shoving it in a plastic bag, along with some markers. "I'll deal with that later. I need a break."
She looked around before frowning. "Did Natsu lea—"
The sound of another gag silenced Erza, her nose scrunching up. "Is he sick?"
"I think so," Lucy said, hands shaking in her lap. "Have you noticed, anything different with Natsu lately?"
"Hmm." Erza tapped her chin before shrugging. "Honestly, I can't say I've really noticed. I've been busy with... with so many things." Her shoulders sagged as she sighed, the weight of everything she had taken on finally catching up to her.
"Maybe Gray's right. Maybe I shouldn't add volunteering to my list of things to do. Senior year is hard enough without all these extras."
"It's really that hard?" Lucy asked, feeling some spark of hope. "Senior year?"
Erza nodded. "I kind of regret not doing the same thing Gajeel's doing, making his senior year his easiest year. My two AP classes are killing me, and the school year's just begun."
"If you had a boyfriend," Lucy started, seeing Erza immediately flush at the idea. "Do you think you'd have time for him?"
That had the redhead laughing as she shook her head. "Heaven's no. Where would I even schedule him in?"
Lucy forced a small chuckle, not wanting to rouse suspicion. "Yeah, that makes sense."
'Maybe that explains why Natsu's been distant, but does he have to be this distant? He still talks to other people, just not really me lately.'
"Anyways, I'm hungry." Erza looked towards the bathroom before cringing. "I'm guessing he's not up for food. Are you?"
Lucy shook her head. Her stomach felt hollow, but the last thing she wanted to do was eat. "I'm good. You go ahead, I'll clean up here."
"Are you sure?"
Lucy nodded. "Yeah. I'll bring the posters in on Monday."
Erza knelt down, giving Lucy a hug. "Thank you! You're awesome!"
Despite her heart feeling like a punching bag, Lucy managed a real smile. If there was one thing she could count on, it was the support of her friends. "I'm really glad we're friends, Erza."
Erza pulled back, a shining smile of her own. "Me too." She gave Lucy one more quick hug before gathering her supplies, leaving a few markers behind in case Lucy wanted to finish the last few posters on her own.
"See you Monday!"
Lucy waved, kind of wishing Erza would stay, but she knew she had to face Natsu on her own. "Drive safe!"
Erza chuckled, her voice barely audible as she left the house. "I have to! My mom would kill me if I wrecked her car!"
When the door closed, Lucy's smile dropped, her mind racing once more as she came back to reality. She wanted a moment to collect herself, but the toilet flushed, letting her know she had a minute or two before Natsu returned.
Deciding she didn't want to be crouched down when he returned, Lucy stood before pacing the living room. By the time Natsu came back, she had gathered her courage to give a suggestion she never wanted to try, but it seemed the most logical.
"Do you want to take a break?"
"What?!"
It was as if he got electrocuted, his body jerking before he quickly shook his head. "No, no way!"
Lucy had to stop herself from smiling, heart soothed knowing he didn't want to call it quits. However, that didn't mean everything was fine. Natsu was still treating her less than what she felt she deserved, and if he didn't want a break then something had to change.
Or more accurately, go back to the way it was before the school year ever started.
"Well, then I don't know what else for us to do," she said, gesturing between them. "If you're too busy for a girlfriend or just tired of it, then it makes sense for us to just take a step back."
"I promise you that's not what I want," Natsu said, crossing the room so he was within reaching distance of her, but he kept his hands to himself.
Part of Lucy wanted him to touch her, to give her some kind of physical contact, but she was still upset at him, so it was better he didn't try.
"Then why are you acting that way? What did I do?"
"Nothing," he rushed out before dragging a hand over his face, looking frustrated with himself.
She couldn't blame him. She was frustrated with him too.
"Are you sure?" she asked, trying but failing to keep the annoyance out of her voice. "Because that's the only thing that makes sense unless there's something I'm missing."
She chose that time to close her eyes, missing the way Natsu flinched at her words. "Just, be honest with me. What's going on?"
When she opened her eyes, she saw Natsu looking back at her, a frown resting on his face. It didn't suit him. She loved when he had a goofy grin on, but it had been weeks since he directed that expression at her.
'What happened to make him so uninterested?'
"I... h-have been worried," Natsu started, loosening his scarf until it barely hung around his neck, a red splotchy blush covering his skin. "It's stupid, I know. The more I think about it, the more I realize how dumb I am, but... I'm just scared that..."
Lucy had to bite her tongue to keep from rushing him, needing an answer for his sudden behavior change. She struggled to be patient, but it paid off, her boyfriend finally being honest with her for the first time in weeks.
"I'm still... scared you'll... make me stop being friends, with certain people."
"Why would you think that?" Lucy asked, prompting him to finally explain his reason behind his fear.
"On the first day of school, when you said something about me texting a girl, it reminded me of a problem Gray had with Juvia early in their relationship."
Lucy couldn't help her eye twitching at the thought of being compared to Juvia. She loved Juvia to death, but everyone knew the girl had the worst jealousy in Magnolia, possibly all of Fiore. She kept her voice level as she spoke, not wanting to spook Natsu. "How so?"
"Gray used to have a lot more friends than just us. Like, a whole lot of friends, and a good amount of them were girls," Natsu said, picking at his cuticles. "When he started dating Juvia, she started making him stop talking to them as much, then it got to the point that she got mad if he even mentioned them."
He paused before releasing his breath. "She's waaaaay better now, but it was awful watching, and... I dunno, when you were asking why I didn't tell you who I was talking to, I just kinda thought something like that might happen, and I guess I panicked and then was rude for not listening to your feelings, and I'm still being rude by not paying attention to you, and..."
Natsu grimaced, like he was in physical pain when he said, "I don't deserve you, I know, but I really don't want a break. I... I wanna be with you."
Before Lucy could say anything, he firmly added, "Only you."
"I want to be with you too, but lately it's felt like I've been the only one in this relationship. Can you," she felt all the way from her chest to her face flush as she asked, "make more of an effort? Show me that you actually want me?"
"Of course! I promise I'll make a huge effort!" Natsu was nodding, hope shining in his eyes. "Wh-where can I start?"
"Well," Lucy bit her bottom lip, the cuts on her heart slowly stitching back together. It wasn't as strong, but it was progress. She hoped he was telling the truth and not just saying whatever he could to keep them together.
"Just, be like how you used to be. Lately it felt like I wasn't wanted, but you used to invite me to stuff and hold my hand all the time. We haven't even hugged for like a week, and it's been a while since we've..."
Her skin felt on fire as she said, "We haven't kissed in a while either, and I miss that."
"You think I haven't wanted to kiss you?" Natsu asked, eyes wide as his brows raised. "I think about kissing you all the time, I just, I don't feel like I deserve it."
Lucy shook her head, unable to grasp that concept. "Why? That doesn't make any sense."
Instead of giving her an answer, he lowered his head, looking ashamed of himself. Her eyes darted to the bandage on his face, wondering if that was the culprit to Natsu's insecurities. He had expressed he wasn't happy with his appearance a time or two, but she thought they got past that.
She liked him for who he was on the inside, and even if she was shallow, Natsu was smoking hot! Why wouldn't she want to kiss him?
"Is it something you don't feel comfortable talking about?" Lucy asked, assuming it had to do with his fear of them being in different 'leagues'. She found it silly, but she wasn't going to scold him for it, especially when he seemed really down on himself.
"I don't think I can talk about it. I... I don't think I can."
"Okay," Lucy whispered, happy he looked up at her. "Just, don't be so hard on yourself. I want to be with you, only you too."
"I really do wanna kiss you," Natsu said. "All the time."
"Really?"
He nodded. "Like, I want to right now, but..."
Lucy held back a cringe at the thought of kissing him after what he did in the bathroom. He needed to brush his teeth before anything like that could happen. "No, I get it. Umm..."
Lucy grabbed her arm before rubbing it, hoping she didn't sound weird for asking, "Can I at least get a hug? A real one?"
"Absolutely." Natsu was moving before he got the word out. Large strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest.
Lucy's eyes fluttered closed as she accepted his warm embrace. Natsu wasn't completely forgiven yet. She would keep a close eye on him, seeing if he took her seriously or not. She was a forgiving person, but even she had her limits.
Natsu held her tighter, cheek pressed against her hair as he whispered, "I'm sorry I made you feel bad. You deserve so much better than me."
"Don't say that," Lucy said, moving her arms to hug him back. "You're a great guy, Natsu."
She felt him tense, but after rubbing his back softly, he relaxed.
"I'm gonna do better," he mumbled as she pressed her face into his chest. "I promise."
Lucy smiled, feeling safe with him. They had only been dating five months, but it felt like years with as much as they had been through. She wanted to keep trusting Natsu, so she did, putting her faith in him.
In them.
"I'm going to hold you to that," Lucy whispered, turning her head. She listened to his wild heartbeat, hopeful this was just a speed bump in the long road ahead.
Happy Pokémon Day! (Feb 27th, 2020, when this chapter was posted) While this chapter didn't focus on Pokémon, a love for Pokémon brought Natsu and Lucy closer. What's your favorite Pokémon? Mine is Charizard, followed by Magikarp then Snorlax, but I love a lot of them! My favorite is Generation One. :P
My senior year was my easiest year of high school. I took all my required classes (except English because that was every year) the first three years so I just had elective classes and one required class. I actually skipped a lot on my last hour and spent all my time in the JROTC room because that was basically my life at the time. I knew I wasn't going to college, so I didn't bother with any math or science classes because I wasn't trying to keep my mind sharp.
Thank you for your continued support! I appreciate every favorite, follow, and review! Shout out to those amazing people who left me feedback last time: ArcuzRed7, xMuffinsx, stranger1999, Shonix13, Jazminee18, Wolfcry77, fairytailfanatic0703, Lodemai04, shootingstarssel, OgaxHilda(x2), CelestialDreamer15, mautrino, ShanaDumblond, Stubenhocker, Princess Dragneel, heyitsmeduhnat, sakshishetty3003, Duchixx, FlameDragonHime, and Dark Shining Light!
So, what did you think of this chapter? Lucy knows something's wrong, but she can't quite place it. Next chapter is going to be, well, you'll see.
Thank you so much for everyone who makes the effort to review! I know when I'm reading it's easier to just keep reading, or sometimes you don't even know what to say, but I appreciate every comment I receive, whether it be constructive criticism or simply letting me know what you liked in the story. Writers take those reviews to heart, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who rereads reviews when they're feeling down? Thank you so much for reading! And I can't wait to see you next time!
Up next, Chapter Ninety-Nine: Homecoming
Sneak peek of the next chapter:
While Lucy went through a whirlwind of thoughts in her head, the line moved, but she was too distracted to notice. A tap on her shoulder had her jumping, Lucy realizing her mistake and quickly closing the gap between her and the customer in front of her.
She went to turn and apologize, but before the words could tumble out her eyes fell on the person who tapped her, both girls surprised to see one another.
"Oh, h-hi," Lucy forced out. Her blush hadn't faded from her confession, but now it spread down her neck, creeping into her shirt. "I didn't know you liked football."
