AN: Well, that took forever. That is, starting to write the chapter took forever, actually writing it took like an hour. I swear I'm trying to settle back into some kind of rhythm, I just haven't managed it yet. My podcast has also been stagnating for well over a month now…
Part of my preparation for this chapter—not anything to do with the chapter, just the fact that it's a chapter of a nice even number—was to watch Frozen. As I said earlier, unlike Tangled and Brave I haven't really seen it enough times to remember it clearly, so I thought doing so would aid the story.
Can't say anything about the film that hasn't been said before. Very good film, Tangled was better, thus making Frozen overrated by default. But, you know, everybody knows that. Think I'll watch Frozen II next week… or whenever… before doing the next chapter, just 'cause that's also a thing that needs to be done.
Day 40
Elsa walked down the castle halls with Kai. "And, um… that about does it for trip preparations, right?" she was saying.
"I believe so," said Kai.
"That's good, that's good," said Elsa, perking up a bit. "Well, once we've returned from the trip, our wedding should be right around the corner… after that… so, best to start making plans for that now."
"I agree."
Elsa exited the castle, heading for the chapel on the grounds.
"Er, Queen Elsa, what are you doing?"
"Just… heading to the chapel," said Elsa. "I wanted to talk to the reverend about the wedding."
"The, er, wedding?"
"My wedding to Princess Merida, Kai," Elsa said in alarm. "What on earth have we been discussing?"
She opened the gates to the chapel, where her coronation had been held not too long ago. The place was empty, cold, and lifeless, with a layer of dust.
Elsa stood there for a moment, shocked, as Kai came up behind her slowly.
"Kai, what… what is this?" she asked. "Where's the priest? The guy who crowned me queen? I liked that guy."
Kai scratched the back of his neck nervously. "You, er… well, I know you don't make it a habit to go to church, your majesty…"
"Well… no," Elsa mumbled. "I mean… I've always considered myself Catholic. I get, like… good vibes from Jesus. Swell guy. But the Old Testament never really spoke highly of sorcery… or gay people, for that matter. So, I've… I've always been nervous about attending."
"Well, I'm afraid that's exactly the issue, your majesty," Kai said sadly. "Our reverend apparently had no personal issue with your magic, but your sexuality, for whatever reason…"
Elsa buried her face in her hands. "He resigned, didn't he? Like Gerda. Like… others?"
Kai was silent.
"…Kai?"
"Your majesty?"
She turned to face him. "Has my coming out caused a big staffing problem in the castle? Be honest."
"Not a big problem, no," he said evasively.
Elsa winced. "And… any angry mobs I haven't been told about?"
"Of course not, your majesty," said Kai. "Well… one. But it was only three old ladies, and the guards made sure they never made it all the way to the castle."
Elsa sighed and leaned against a wall. "Well, I guess that's encouraging, that they could only get… three. …We need a new priest for the castle chapel."
"We do."
"You never told me that."
"I don't make it a habit to burden you with information you don't need that would only make you anxious."
Elsa winced again, then rubbed the corners of her eyes. "I gotta stop doing that, I'm going to have crow's feet by the time I'm twenty-five… what the hell was I just talking about? Right, a priest. So… you're on that, then? Finding a replacement?"
"I am."
"You're the best, Kai," Elsa said wearily. "I'd… like to volunteer to take over that task, but I don't think my heart could take the rejection."
"Of course, Queen Elsa," Kai said warmly.
"Listen, while you're doing that, don't tell them that we're looking for someone to oversee the chapel here in the castle, okay? Just tell them we need someone to marry us. We'll tell them they get the castle job after that."
"I don't know that that's necessary, your majesty. Priests aren't known for power-hungry social climbing."
"It's just a feeling, all right?" said Elsa. "Please?"
"Very well."
"I'm really sorry about all this, Kai," Elsa murmured.
"It'll be just fine, your majesty."
"I really appreciate you sticking with me."
"The vast majority have, you know," said Kai. "Most of your family's staff support you fully."
"Well… the minority stand out a lot more," said Elsa.
"They do," Kai agreed. "Depressing fact of life."
Elsa glanced at her engagement ring. "Kai, is my engagement… legal?"
"You know, I was curious about that myself," Kai admitted. "I took the liberty of checking the books—it is indeed perfectly legal and protected in the kingdom of Arendelle."
"Neat," Elsa said weakly. "Remind me to find out the story behind that law…"
Kai wrote that down. "At your convenience, I will help you look into that." He sighed. "It was… quite the emotional blow to everyone when Gerda chose to resign. She was my colleague for almost as long as you've been alive. Now, I just… resent her. Turning her back on the entire kingdom, leaving so many plans hanging, for such a petty reason."
Elsa didn't answer.
"But that's all I feel," Kai said tenderly. "No sadness for the loss. We're better off, all of us, without that toxicity."
"Mm-hmm," Elsa said dully.
"Any other plans you need me to take care of?"
"N… no, there's nothing," Elsa said hastily. "That is… nothing I can't tend to myself. Thanks for asking."
~0~0~0~
"Well, there's four tribes out there," Merida was saying as she paced the throne room, Elsa sitting at the head of the room as Anna and Rapunzel loitered about. "DunBroch is my clan and my dad was chosen as king when the four clans came together. McIntosh, MacGuffin, and Dingwall are the other three, and even though they all submit to Clan DunBroch as leader of the nation, there's still a lot of tribalism in the—"
"Tribadism," said Elsa.
Merida gave her a look.
Elsa went so red that a tiny puff of steam rose off her skin. "See, I… I wasn't really entirely listening and I thought you mispronounced 'tribadism', I was correcting you, but no, no, you said 'tribalism', that's… that's a different thing."
"It's on your mind?" Merida said playfully.
"Usually is."
"What's tribadism?" Anna inquired.
"It's a bedroom thing, don't worry about it," Elsa grumbled.
Anna turned to Merida. "Mer, she won't be specific."
"It's scissoring, An."
"Wait, y'all use scissors in the bedroom?" said Anna. "That sounds super kinky. And dangerous. Is it dangerous?"
"It's not…" Elsa said wearily. "Rapunzel, would you explain to her what scissoring is? Later? Away from here?"
"I'll get around to that, I'm sure," said Rapunzel.
Merida came up behind Elsa and massaged her shoulders, leaning in close and kissing her neck. "You wanna scissor? Later and away from here, as you say?"
"I always do," said Elsa, reaching up over her shoulder to stroke Merida's hair.
"Really? Well, not my favorite way to get it on, but…"
"It's my favorite," Elsa admitted.
"Is that a fact?" Merida whispered, nibbling Elsa's earlobe. "Well then, remind me that we have to do it every day for the rest of our lives."
"Mmm…" Elsa said passionately.
"So, what else we got?" Anna asked Merida eagerly. "What else do we need to know when we go to Scotland?"
"Mm, only that I wish I knew some single princesses," said Merida. "'Cause, you know, I know plenty of young ladies at DunBroch who love boinking princesses, hehe, and at least three young lordlings from elsewhere in the land who deserve a chance at having a princess in their lives, yes indeed…"
"Lordlings?"
"Aye, the sons of the other three clans," said Merida. "They were supposed to compete for my hand, but in the end, all four of us agreed, nah, don't wanna do that. Nice blokes. We write."
"I see," said Anna. "So, uh, which of the three would you have gone with? If you had to pick? And got to pick, I guess?"
"Not a hypothetical I particularly care about, sis," Merida said wryly.
"I just… wanted to know which clan is the best one."
"It's DunBroch, lass. The best clan is DunBroch. What'd you expect?"
"Mm, fair enough," Anna admitted. "Gosh, I'm excited to see the world. Our voyage will begin before we even know it…"
Rapunzel came up to Anna and rested her head on her shoulder. "It's gonna be great."
~0~0~0~
~0~0~0~0~0~
AN: All right, well, as always, I hope this brings me back in the groove and I see you next week. Lots of love.
