***Okay so for about a nanosecond I posted the wrong chapter on Thursday so if this looks familiar you may want to go back and read chapter 51 again. It will help you understand this one. I really need to wear my glasses all the time!

Vrskaandrea: (replying to 'other' review) You guessed kinda correctly, something else is bothering Dean, and you will just have to wait and see! *evil grin*

Blondie 20000: Thanks for the reviews. I'll admit I'm a little proud of that scene. I don't think Dean is intentionally leaving a trail, theres probably a little more at play here. Dean will always put Sam before himself, its his nature but we can always depend on that darn Winchester luck!

Spnlady: I'm so glad you're enjoying this! c

CHAPTER 52

Sam entered the room and found Dean sitting at the table and their bags packed and by the door.

"You going somewhere?" Sam asked still obviously mad.

"Bobby found the spell." She said just as unemotionally.

"Really?"

"Yep." Dean stood.

"That's great! How soon can he do it?" Sam said, letting a small amount of emotion seep through, forgetting for a moment that he was actually still mad at Dean.

"Has to be done under a new moon. Last ones tonight, so we're gonna have to wait til next month. But that's okay."

"You're going to be you again." Sam said giving his brother a hesitant smile.

"Yeah." Dean said flatly.

"Thought after all this time you'd be a little more excited about it."

"I'll get excited when I can piss standing up again. Come on, we're going home."

Sam nodded and followed Dean out the door.

With both of them injured, long stints behind the wheel were impossible so they resorted to switching out every couple of hours. As the car was already set for Sam, he took the first shift. Dean tried for some light chatter a few times but was only given monosyllabic answers, if she got one at all, from her still obviously pissed off brother. At the first changeover Sam pulled into a gas station for fuel, food and to use the bathroom. Dean took advantage of Sams absence to pull out the peace token she bought him. Sam walked straight past Dean and climbed into the back seat with out so much as a sideways glance. Dean sighed and sat in the drivers seat.

"It's going to be boring back there." She said, turning in her seat. "Here I got you something."

She handed a plain paper bag to Sam. He took the package begrudgingly before opening it and pulling out a paperback novel.

"It's the latest book Marnie recommended to you." Dean said with a smile.

"Hmm," Sam responded before putting the book back in the bag and laying it to the side. "Shouldn't you get moving if we wanna get to Bobby's before the next new moon." Sam said before curling up and leaning against the door, using an old blanket as a pillow.

"Yeah, I guess we should." Dean said sadly, turning back around and starting the car.

Sam didn't know what to say. He looked at the book in his hands. He had been excited by Marnies recommendation and review and he was touched that Dean had actually remembered the title and go so far as to buy it. Unfortunately, to Sam, it was an empty gesture, Deans hope that if she bought him something shiny he'd forget he was angry, but he simply couldn't forget that Dean had allowed herself to walk around injured and bleeding for days and not even mention it. He was tired of this same loop, of Dean not allowing herself to be vulnerable enough, even for one minute, to let Sam help her. He placed the book to the side knowing it would hurt his brother but not really caring at that moment. Why couldn't Dean just let him help her? All their life Dean has always done everything for Sam, just once couldn't she let Sam take over. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep to avoid any more conversation attempts from Dean. Sam allowed the movement of the vehicle to lull him into a light slumber but after about half an hour he opened his eyes and sat up. He reached for the book and opened it. 'Shame to waste it really.' He thought to himself.

Dean watched Sam in the rear vision mirror as he opened the book and began to read. It was such a small thing but it was a start towards their emotional healing.

Even switching every couple of hours the drive took its toll on their beaten bodies and eventually Dean pulled into a motel just off the highway.

"Can't go any further. I gotta get some proper rest." Dean said.

"Sounds like a plan." Sam agreed.

Dean bit back a snarky remark about using more than one word and got out of the car to get them a room.

"You want first shower?" Dean asked as they entered the room.

"Thanks." Sam said as he dropped his duffle on the bed furtherest from the door just as he had been conditioned to do all his life. He pulled out a pair of sweats and headed to the bathroom.

"You want some food?" Dean asked. "I can go grab something or we could order in pizza."

"What ever you want." Sam said closing the door behind him.

Dean sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. She knew this situation was not going to be resolved with pizza and a good nights sleep. This was brewing into a full on verbal smack down. God how she hated those but best get it over with. She found a number for a local pizza pace that delivered and put in an order then went out to the Impala and retrieved the first aid kit. Both of their dressings would need changing. She pulled out something to sleep in the sat on 'her' bed and waited for Sam to finish. She looked up when he opened the door and exited the room.

"Ordered you a veggie pizza. Should be here soon." She said.

"Mmm hmm."

"Right." Dean said then headed into the bathroom.

Dean walked out to see Sam struggling to redress his wounds.

"Here, let me help you with that." She said, crossing to Sam and trying to take the bandages from him.

"No." He said pushing her away.

"Sam don't be stupid. Let me help."

"What? Like you ask me for help Dean?"

Dean stood shocked but was saved from having to answer by a knock at the door. She checked the peep hole and opened the door to the pizza delivery guy. She paid for the food and shut the door, dropping the pizzas on the table.

"Foods here. Got you a vegetarian." She said flipping the boxes open.

"Answer the damn question Dean! Why won't you let me help you?" Sam said through gritted teeth as he advanced on his brother.

"Just come and eat."

"NO!" Sam slammed his hand down on the table. "Answer me!"

"Because you're my responsibility Sam! I have to look after you!" Dean shouted at Sam.

"And that means walking around for two days with untreated wounds? Passing out? Giving yourself concussion!"

"Yes! If that's what it takes to keep you safe!"

"You don't need to 'keep me safe' Dean!" Sam said, frustrated.

"Yes I do! It's my job! I promised..."

"That's bullshit! Don't you dare throw that crap at me! That's just a bunch of shit Dad drove down your throat your whole life! We're brothers Dean, we are supposed to keep each other safe!"

"But I'm failing!" Dean screamed, walking away. "I'm failing Sam."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, shocked by his brothers words.

Deans never failed him a day in his life.

"You died Sam, because I wasn't quick enough! You said 'yes' to Lucifer and almost went to the cage because I couldn't find a way around it! You were almost a chew toy for a demonic Labrador and that's all on me! I fail you over and over again." Dean looked at Sam, tears streaming down her face.

Sam reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders and bent down so he could look her in the eye.

"Yeah, I died Dean but you sold your soul, you literally went to hell to save me. And Lucifer couldn't take me to the cage because you were there. You had the spell. I was able to fight him because I had you there with me. You've sewn me back together more times than I can count. You've never failed me."

Dean shook her head not believing Sams words.

"I'm always going to do stupid things to protect you Sammy." Dean reached out and cupped the back of Sams neck. "You're my baby brother, I don't know anything else."

"All I ask is that you let me help you. Let me stand beside you when you do that stupid shit." Sam said.

"Can't promise you that Sam."

"Promise me you'll ask me for help."

"Can't promise that either." Dean looked at her brother sadly. "I'm just the good soldier. Sacrificing myself is all I know, but I... I will try."

"That's a start I guess." Sam said and pulled her in for a spine crushing hug. "Can you help me with this?" He asked picking up the bandage.

"Sure." Dean gave a wobbly smile. "And then can you check my stitches?"

"Course." Sam answered with a smile. 'Baby steps'.

"I'm sorry Sammy. I really am."

"I know."

After a long drive they finally made it to Bobby's. Climbing, sore and aching, up his front steps they walked through the door and into the house they called the closest thing to home. Bobby walked out of the kitchen to greet them.

"Boys you are a sight for sore eyes!" He pulled them into a tight hug. Drawing back he looked at them closely. "Come on through and let's get you guys something to eat."

The brothers smiled gratefully and followed Bobby into the kitchen.

"Dean, I'm sorry I didn't figure this all out sooner." Bobby said as he placed a plate of reheated casserole in front of Dean.

"Don't worry about it Bobby. You got it now, so, all good." Dean said as she tore off a piece of bread and dipped it into the bowl.

"I know but if I'd only been able to read the translations a day or two earlier you be back to normal by now." Bobby said.

"Bobby, I've waited this long, one more month ain't gonna kill me." Dean said, wishing the subject would be dropped, her head hurt and this was the last thing she wanted to think about.

"Hey Bobby, any chance I could have a look at the ritual?" Sam asked.

"Sure, right after you finish eating and clean up a bit, you two look like hammered crap."

"Yeah it's been a tough couple of days." Sam said.

"I bet." Bobby said looking at the large bruise on Deans forehead. "I kinda expected you to drive straight through, was surprised when I got your message sayin' you were stopping for the night."

"Yeah, well we tried. Trust me on that but even sharing the driving it was just too much." Sam said.

"That werewolf musta done a number on you both."

"Yeah, sure did." Sam said looking pointedly at Dean who at least had the good grace to look contrite.

Bobby was no fool and he could sense the small amount of tension that still hung between the Winchester siblings.

"Why don't you two go clean up and put your stuff away and then I'll show you that spell." Bobby suggested.

"Yeah, sure." Dean said as she cleaned her bowl with a crust of bread before heading up the stairs.

"Thanks Bobby." Sam said as he followed his brother.


***A/N...so it was about this point I thought 'Yes! I'm almost done!' but it turns out my muse had other ideas and crept in during the night, grabbed my little story and did a Usain Bolt with it! Everything after here is just me typing to catch up!