Chapter 41
The Prukinns' School For The Education of Exceptional Au Pairs hasn't changed since Mary Poppins left it years ago, umbrella in hand, new to the field of child governance. Naturally she was ready to join her first family and embark on many wonderful adventures. That's how it used to be, Mary and her umbrella, ruling over families and clouds alike, feet never on the ground for too long, lest her mystique be broken. It would be terrible if she looked like an ordinary human being. Centuries of Prukinns' girls have been educated to be unique in the world of nannyfication, garnering respect the world over. Mary Poppins achieved this and then some, to the extent that Prudence Prukinns considers her to be her best student. That's until today. Today Miss. Prukinns, also known as "MaÎtre", is wondering what the fuss was ever about.
MaÎtre is marching down the corridor. Her heels are rat-a-tap-tapping on the stone floors, a sound her students know well. Those not in class have already parted in anticipation of her arrival. Although they are expecting to see her, they are shocked to find a dripping wet Mary Poppins and her friend, Bert, struggling to keep pace. The students whisper hurriedly to each other. Most want to be Mary Poppins when they graduate. A few teachers join the hush-hush conversation, nodding at Mary reverently, while others snigger as she goes by. They are the jealous ones. Former students, some from Mary's own class, who never grew into their own as governesses, becoming instructors for the rest.
"Welcome back, Mary Poppins. I'm sure you're delighted to be here," MaÎtre says without looking back.
"Yes, MaÎtre," Mary responds. She glances through open doors, noticing that classes are in progress. She knows them well - Lullabies For Little Ones, Discipline Without Discord, Medicinal Magic - Mary excelled at her studies and never forgot a thing.
"And you, too, Bert," MaÎtre adds, stopping to address him. "But Mary and I are about to have a chat about her missing umbrella, something that doesn't involve you. Meaning you need a task to keep you busy. There are some chimneys that require cleaning. One in the library and in the kitchen, as well. They could use your magic touch. Would you mind, Bert?"
"At your service, MaÎtre," Bert says, stopping to salute. "Don't stay away for too long, Mary Poppins," he ends, slapping her on the behind before turning away. His whistling fades as he disappears down another corridor.
Bert's sly behaviour is not lost on MaÎtre. Indeed nothing gets by her steely blue eyes. By the looks of it, she doesn't approve of his familiarity with her star pupil. "Am I to understand from Bert's unceremonious paddling on your rear-end that you two are an item?"
There's no point in lying to MaÎtre. The woman has eyes in the back of her head. "It was a mistake," Mary blurts out.
"It usually is," MaÎtre answers, resuming her march down the corridor. Reaching her study, she removes a key from the folds of her dress and unlocks the door. Ushering Mary into the room, she slams it shut behind them.
Mary hasn't been in MaÎtre's study since her final year of school, when she received her first assignment as a governess. Senor Fernendo el-Dodo in hand, she was told to join the Parra residence in Barcelona. It was an exciting time. Mary Poppins' first assignment, one of many before she was catapulted to success as governess to the Banks' children. Photos of MaÎtre's most successful pupils stud her walls.
MaÎtre gestures to them now. "Look at you all - Nanny McPhee, Jo Frost, Mr. French, Tiggy Legge-Bourke, Nana, and you, Mary Poppins. You are my prize students, never once shirking your duty to provide exceptional childminding services to the privileged and disadvantaged alike in the most trying circumstances. You have gone where you are needed, but sometimes unwanted, you have said what you mean and meant what you said without being mean about it, and you especially, Mary Poppins, have been practically perfect in every way. You have brought great honour to this school...until now."
Frowning, MaÎtre turns on a television set and through the highlights. "The Miller household, where you were recently fired. The Calgary Music Centre, where you were spotted busking crudely on the street. The Cecil Hotel, where you participated in a tawdry vaudeville act. The Airport, where you and Bert caused an incident on a plane then became stowaways. You were on a terrorist watchlist by the time you landed at Sultan Iskandar Muda International Airport. There you were chased by the Indonesian National Military, blew up Mr. Pangabean's teashop, which the Indonesian government is suing us for by the way, then you joined a cult."
"Unwillingly. That was Bert's fault," Mary interjects. "How do you know about these things?"
MaÎtre tosses her hat on the desk. She takes a moment to tidy her bun before speaking. "It's all over the news, not to mention Interpol. You and Bert have caused quite a stir. You forget that Bert is an employee of this school, Mary Poppins. He is your chaperone, not your partner in crime. Since he's become such, ignoring his duty to me, I've had you watched. The world may have forgotten who you are, but I have not. Which brings me to your missing umbrella."
"Oh dear," Mary mutters.
"Oh dear indeed," MaÎtre retorts. "Explain yourself, Mary Poppins. Where exactly is Senor Fernendo el-Dodo?"
"I may have accidentally left him on a bus," Mary answers. She waits for MaÎtre's reaction.
MaÎtre pauses to collect her thoughts. She may look composed, but her eyes have turned to flint. "Mary Poppins, are seriously telling me you've lost your Gimmick?"
"I have misplaced him, yes."
Eyes on Mary Poppins, MaÎtre presses a button beneath her desk. The bookcase behind her opens, revealing a hidden room. It's a vault, actually, run by Porters tending to rows and rows of Gimmicks. Mary walks behind MaÎtre as they survey the treasures in her care. Umbrellas, hats, scarves, walking sticks, carpetbags, and other charmed things have been itemized and stored under glass.
"Our Gimmicks are collected from all over the world, Mary Poppins," MaÎtre starts. "They are stored here, in this vault. As you know, I award them to our governesses upon graduation. What you get depends on what you require to be an excellent governess. But it also depends on your level of skill, how you navigate a crisis, and most importantly, your ability to empathize with the children in your care and the magic you require to guide them successfully. Mary Poppins, you have been a wanderer since you were a little girl. But I discovered early on that you had a marvellous sense of direction in every crisis. You never forgot your lessons, no matter how far afield you went. Which is why I awarded Senor el-Dodo to you. He was an ideal travelling companion for one who did not like to stay in one place for too long, but who always knew how to find her way home. Oh, I know Nanny McPhee wanted him, but after losing her temper with the Ruffians in Forbearance class, she needed to relearn the steps to pacify a difficult situation, as well as her own intemperate nature. Her warts and whiskers are an ideal Gimmick when she is always so anxious to be rid of them. Tiggy Legge-Bourke also had her eye on Senor el-Dodo, then again she got the best Gimmick of all."
"What's that?" Mary Poppins asks.
"The Crown, dear." MaÎtre stops before an empty glass case. "This is where Senor el-Dodo sat for many years, waiting to be awarded to a governess like yourself. He was just an umbrella then. He came to me as a tired, flightless bird. But I knew he was special, and that he deserved a good home. As a wanderlust you gave him the gift of flight. He had it in him, but he needed your help to learn how to use his new wings. In turn he showed you the world and made your reputation. With Bert in the background to keep an eye on things, it was a good arrangement. But Senor el-Dodo was yours only for the duration of your career. Your were expected to return him once you retired so that the next governess could benefit from his experience and step into your shoes. What I'm saying, Mary Poppins, is that Senor el-Dodo was not yours to lose."
"We were on the bus! I was cold and exhausted! The children were driving me around the bend! I was so busy getting them off the bus that I left Senor el-Dodo behind!" Mary explains. "Bert and I have been looking for Senor el-Dodo everywhere. I think he's with another woman. Her name is Josee Tabor. I have no idea where they've gone. Oh, it's been a complete disaster. Without my umbrella, no one knows who I am anymore."
"Of course not. Never in the history of this school has a student lost the thing that gives them the authority to govern children and their surroundings alike. When used expertly by a properly trained governess, a Gimmick is the implementation of clever management with some magic tossed in for good measure. Without your umbrella you have gone from being practically perfect in every way to… I can't even say it… a common babysitter. Mary Poppins, you have broken our most cardinal rule and you are being punished for it. ...Carlyle, bring me the book!" Snapping her fingers, MaÎtre summons the Master Porter. He runs over dutifully with The Prukinns' School Disciplinary Action Manual and waits for further instruction.
"Read Paragraph Two on Page Eight, Carlyle. Tell me what it says," MaÎtre instructs.
Carlyle nods and opens the book. "This local law dictates all those found guilty of misplacing their Gimmick will lose their identity and their authority to govern little ones."
"Thank you, Carlyle," MaÎtre concludes. He nods again and runs away.
"See, Mary Poppins? This is what happens when you misplace your Gimmick," MaÎtre states. "Mr. French lost his walking stick in 1971 and his television show was cancelled. He was never heard from again. I would hate for this to happen to you. Now where should we look for Senor Fernendo el-Dodo?"
"I was thinking he might be on Mount Everest," Mary Poppins answers.
You're expecting to find your umbrella on a mountain top, Mary Poppins?" MaÎtre asks, smirking.
"It was the first place we went together. He wanted to show me that the world was at our doorstep," Mary responds.
"Indeed it was. But that was when he was your Gimmick. Now he's answering to this Josee Tabor woman, someone I don't know. It's a dangerous situation. Havoc could ensue. We must find them immediately."
"I'll get Bert," Mary says, turning to leave.
"No you will not!" MaÎtre orders. "Mary Poppins, you will stay here until I tell you otherwise. So will Bert. In separate rooms, I might add. I am now in charge of finding Senor Fernendo el-Dodo. ...Porters! Assemble yourselves! We have a Gimmick on the loose! Senor Fernendo el-Dodo has gone missing! You know what to do!"
"We will find him immediately, MaÎtre!" Carlyle shouts. "But first, what would you like us to do about them?" He points to the security screens in the corner of the vault. The Porters can see every corner of the castle from here. It allows them to stop intruders from entering the vault and stealing the school's treasures. They can also see outside. And there, on the screen, are the school's next unexpected visitors floundering on the beach - Russ Knot and Morty Magoo's gumshoes.
"Do you know these people?" MaÎtre asks.
"I've never seen them before in my life," Mary lies. Judging by the look on MaÎtre's face, she's in enough trouble already.
