Kaiba stomped around in his giant Blue-Eyes mech, crushing trees and sending gusts of wind, rocks and wood splinters out in all directions, and leaving a trail behind as if the area were hit by small meteors. Dust reached halfway to the dragon's knees.

"The environmentalists aren't going to like this," Yugami (the fused Yugis) said. His eyes stressed as he looked out the large window. It was eight feet tall and wrapped around the upper middle area of the mech. It was made out of transparent aluminum. And magic. That was important.

"Who cares? They're all dead," Kaiba said. He started to laugh, then stifled it. "Does it even matter? Are these real trees?"

"I don't think it's like Imagination Land or something, Kaiba," Yugami said. "It's a different plane of existence. All this is real."

"Hmm," Kaiba hummed, pulling on levers. The mech continued forward, crushing more vegetation and wildlife. "Well, if they become a problem, I'll just buy them off."

"Well now, Kaiba, I'm not sure this plane has need of money…." Yugami muttered, pressing his face and a hand up against the glass as he looked on in horror.

"Stop talking nonsense, Yugi," Kaiba said. He began to sweat. But then he remembered that games were his true passion, so who cared about money? And now he was a magical Super Saiyan Kaiba, so perhaps a lack of importance of money was a good thing. He could just take whatever he wanted and smash all who stood in his way! The idea got him very excited. Smirk.

Yugami sweat-dropped at Kaiba's thoughts. "I'm starting to regret helping you," he said.

Kaiba laughed chaotically. "Not like you have a choice now, Yugi!" he shouted, "HAHAHA!" he laughed with crazy eyes. Dark scratch lines were all around his face, emphasizing this expression. It was very 80's and 90's. But not enough! So Kaiba concentrated really hard and more lines appeared. And more! And more! Shadowing his face more! And more! He tilted his head down deeply, causing even more epic shadow lines across his face as his manacle laughter spilled out. He truly looked evil—just like the hero we deserve!

Anyhow, so Kaiba saw a clearing in the distance that looked suspicious. Was that a campfire? Hmm, Kaiba thought and hit a button on his helmet. His vision zoomed in. Yes, a campfire, but it was deserted. Kaiba gave no fuck. "Horobi no Bāsuto Sutorīmu!" he shouted, throwing his hand forward. A beam shot from above, out of the Blue-Eyes mech mouth. The entire area around the campfire exploded, throwing tons of ruble into the air. The campfire was like a mile away, but debris pegged against the window.

Yugami slouched and sighed. He truly looked defeated. "Please don't try to do the Japanese, author. You're not even sure if that's the actual attack name, or if the card has a different name in Japanese."

Author ignored this, but Yugi's contract was too tight, so his comments couldn't be removed.

"Damnit," Kaiba muttered.

"Something wrong?" Yugami asked.

"Nothing, Yugi," Kaiba responded. But that wasn't the truth. He was scheming how best to get a better a contract than Yugi, so he could finally beat him in a duel. Wait, this was really starting to sound like professional wrestling, and Kaiba was beginning to think he shouldn't care.

But then, to interrupt Kaiba's thoughts, the story continued!

Kaiba's mech went smash, smash, smash—destroying the landscape in a flash. Hahaha, he laughed, christening his mighty metal dragon on the blood of animal souls.

Now he had done it. Flying down from the heavens, a legion of angel police officers confronted Kaiba. Kaiba could just destroy them all, but he could be a nice guy, so he first tried to bribe them.

"We only accept zeni," one of the crooked angels said.

So, money is of value, Kaiba thought, but he had no idea what "zeni" was. This was Goku's universe, though, so perhaps he would know. Although, Kaiba doubted Goku knew much beyond food and punching. Wait, he was over thinking this. It didn't matter. He just had to get some zeni. So, basically this paragraph was pointless besides the first handful of words. Although, now that it is pointed out, this paragraph now has different value and meaning, and considering this is a parody, then perhaps this does belong here. There is an art to comedy, but there is no rule to what makes something funny. However, this definitely isn't funny. Well, maybe it is kind of funny that it keeps going on and the author thinks someone might care, but the words themselves aren't funny. Well, that's a funny thought in itself. How are words themselves even funny? It's all about context. See, this is funny to me, because you read it. That's not to say I am mocking you for reading it. If you've gotten this far, there is some expectation you must have, and you must know not to trust this story at all. Although, if you find it funny, you can trust that. Though, that speaks nothing of the future. Ah, nothing makes any sense. There's nothing to be told from any of it. It's funny: when you're innocent, you just laugh, but when you're older, you seek out comedy to distract yourself knowingly.

But then, to interrupt the author's egotistical, pointless rant, Kaiba started laughing evily, shooting Burst Streams throughout the land and tearing it apart. Trees and boulders were obliterated, and animals fled in horror. Soon, he saw a cloaked figure. It was Sakura (though he didn't know that yet). She stood hundreds of feet away, looking up at the mech. She taunted him, pulling him forward with a wave of her outstretched fingers towards herself.

Dust blew out behind Sakura as she dashed towards the giant mechanical dragon. A huge burst of light shot from its mouth. She jumped left and was pushed further left by the explosion. As she was about to crash into the ground, she placed her palms to it and did a handspring. The ground crumbled as she slammed down the balls of her palms. She went up into the air, it had to have been twenty feet up, and then another stream of light crashed beneath her—where she had been a moment ago. She now got a good look at the beam as she flew through the air past it. The beam was at least eighteen feet high and wide.

Sakura had no time to worry, though. She hit the ground and exploded the earth beneath her feet, launching herself forward again. The dragon was less than a hundred feet away. It would take her less than a second to get there, but so many thoughts ran through her head as she flew towards the dragon. Another blast barely missed her. She was in mid-air now. The next was about to be a direct hit. It cut, destroying a log. Sakura was on the ground, tens of feet to the left. She burst the ground open again and flung herself onto the leg of the dragon mech. Her feet glowing, she began running up the mech when she heard lots of grinding and clanging sounds. They began screeching so loudly that Sakura had to cover her ears. Firm of face, she had no idea what to expect, but continued running up the dragon that stood hundreds of feet high.

The creaking stopped. Sakura glanced up towards where the sound had been coming from. It looked like two flaps had opened up on its trapezius (or, the area between the neck and shoulder). Then, slowly, she saw a rounded edge of blue metal raising out of it. Still running, she glanced a similar phenomenon from the right. One head emerged from each of the trapeziuses. The three mouths began to hover over Sakura, aiming down from nearly a hundred feet up. The two side ones came in from their respective positions, and the middle one began to close in on her from straight up. Sakura was now at whereabout the mech's middle left rib would be. She wasn't going to make it at this pace. She considered punching her way into the mech, but there was no telling where that would lead her.

The shadow of the jaws fell down upon her. She looked up into them. The teeth were feet long and perfectly triangular. One of them started to stab into her arm. Smoke enveloped the clone, and it disappeared. Sakura was atop its head and running down the neck. Once she was closer to the window, she leapt forward. One of the other heads swooped by, creating a gust of wind that blew Sakura off course. She reached a hand forward and tried to grab onto the metal upper chest, but it was too far away. The window, which she assumed protected Kaiba, was a mere ten or so feet below her. If she didn't grab on, she'd fall past it and have to regain some of her progress. Still stretching her fingers out to reach the metal, energy burst forth from her hand and pierced into the mech. It cut through like butter—one of the problems of zero friction. She couldn't slow herself, nor try to pull herself towards it. Though, Sakura thought… No, it might work.

Sakura sent some of her regular chakra into the blade. It clung to the metal. Her body continued to fall at incredible speed as her arm stopped short—dislocating her shoulder. Her body then began to swing towards the mech. She put her legs out and stiffened them a bit, but allowed some slack as the soles of her boots thudded against the window. She pushed forward at an angle with her upper body, her legs now stiff against the window, and with a wince, her shoulder went back into place. Then she loosened her knees so her body went forward, and she now held herself against the side of the mech with her knees. Next, she swept her arm right, down, left and up, creating a square around her. She kicked it in and into the mech she went.

Sakura looked around. What the hell was going on? Nothing looked right. Complicated machinery looked to be held together by giant screws. There were flashing lights and buttons that seemed to have no purpose whatsoever. Monitors were about, but they were only black screens with green text. But Sakura didn't have any time for this shit, so she locked eyes with Kaiba. He stood behind levers with his arms crossed. His brows narrowed even more than usual, and he deepened his psychotic stare. Black sketch lines fizzled in and out of existence around him, rotating their position. The pressure of his laugh seemed to try to pull Sakura towards him like a whirlpool. At first, she threw her arms out in a defensive position. Then she realized it was strange to be pulled towards fear. Kaiba was already drawing a card. This was part of his strategy. Sakura dashed forward. No fear, she told herself. No fear.

"Chaaah!" she shouted while launching herself towards Kaiba with a fist drawn back. Kaiba lept to a side, and Sakura kicked off the ground, following him. He landed atop one of the many control panels and threw down a card into his duel disc. Sakura shielded her eyes with her forearms from the blinding light. A demonic looking humanoid with a large axe (Vorse Raider) materialized in front of her. Sakura kicked off, flinging her fist straight through it. It shattered. Kaiba was already in the air and placing another card in his duel disc as he kicked off the ceiling of the chamber. The dragon appeared.

"Burst Stream of Destruction!" Kaiba shouted. Now that she was up close, she heard a strange "vvvoom" sound for a split second as it charged up. The burst narrowly missed, destroying some of the interior, but not able to penetrate through the mech. Kaiba was already placing down another card. This one looked green. "Horobi no Bāsuto Sutorīmu!" Another Burst Stream erupted towards Sakura. This burst came quick and there was no "vvoom". Her eyes went wide, and she got hit head on. The blast pushed against her forearms, burning into her flesh. Small whispers of smoke started feathering into the air. Sakura quickly shifted one of her legs behind her, turning herself sideways and relieving some of the pressure of the energy. The undeflected portion of light went past her, slamming into a control panel. She kicked back off of the floor, allowing the rest of the burst to be released past her as she went into the air for a split second before her feet touched down again. She had tried her hardest to use as little energy as possible. This Kaiba fella clearly liked to take advantage of openings during aerial combat. She pushed off with her feet, sending more than enough energy into the floor to dent the metal (it was three feet thick, and considering how tightly the mech was put together and held by magic, it is impossible to say the strength of this feat). Again, her fist went at Kaiba. His eyes grew wide. This time, it was too fast for him to leap away, so he raised his duel disc to block the punch. Sakura grabbed it by the edge and with all her might she pulled down and tried to rip it off of Kaiba's arm.

The same strange growing and shrinking "chhh, cchhh, chhh" she heard days ago came to ear. A yellow, jagged aura surrounded Kaiba again. She couldn't see that his hair was blond, because it all went up into his helmet (don't ask how his bangs did that), but it was.

Sakura gave no fucks though and shot her energy blade out. As the tip came out of her fist, Kaiba lept back, way faster than before. She couldn't even be sure she scratched the duel disc. Would it be like this with Goku too? No time. She pushed forward again, running towards Kaiba. As her fist was about to connect with him, he vanished. The force she had propelled herself with sent her towards the wall. She heard the "vvooom." There was no time to hit off the wall and change trajectory to completely dodge the incoming blast, so she threw her fist forward and cut through the wall. Eyes narrowed, she then tried to disperse her normal chakra in a wave from her fist. The metal around it crumbled, and she reeled back her other fist, punching through the metal and jumping to the outside of the Blue-Eyes mech. It all happened in what seemed to be one swift motion. She turned her head up as she swung from one of the corners of the hole she created. The Burst Stream of Destruction shot out of the opening and singed Sakura's hand. She shut her eyes in pain. Releasing her grasp, Sakura slid down the metal. Her hands and feet glowed as she clung to the side. The mech was still moving forward, causing Sakura to be thrown left and right as she tried to cling on. Bumps kept coming, and as she was rattled around, her eyes were drawn to the ground. It started to spin. Cutting into the side with her blade then clinging to it, she began punching into the side of the dragon mech. The metal started to push against her from the inside. Sakura's eyes went wide, and she spun away onto her back as a blast of white burst open where she had cut and punched into. She watched as the beam shot out into the sky. It traveled, and travelled, and in the distant sky was a huge explosion. A meteor shower shot out in all directions of the distant void.

The wind was becoming poor company, so Sakura grabbed the opening by both hands and pulled herself in. As her feet landed on the opening, she kicked with all her might and went towards the far corner ceiling. Ping-ponging off of it, she launched herself blind towards where she thought Kaiba would be. The two chased each other around the mechanical chamber until Kaiba jumped out of one of the openings. Sakura ran to it and looked down, watching as Kaiba landed atop a jet in the shape of a dragon. It began to rise. She noticed a latch closing beneath her. That must be where it came from, she thought, jumping out. The jet was too far away, though, so she launched her energy blade and stretched it as thin as she could. Clinging to the bottom of the jet by the tip of the blade, she swung to the metal belly and clung to it. She began cutting into it and moving all around, cutting everywhere she went. Finally, something important must have been hit, because the jet started to nosedive. An extremely loud "vvvvvoooooom" came from behind her. Turning her head, she saw one of the giant mech's head's gathering energy. The blast nearly hit her, but she punched into the jet.

Crawling through the machinery, Sakura cut her way through towards the cockpit. Kaiba wasn't there, so she cut out and went to the top. He wasn't there, either. A flash caught her attention and turned her head to see Kaiba flying around in his mech suit. The jet was barreling straight down now and about to smash into the ground. Sakura tore a chunk of metal off the jet and held it tight. The "vvooooom" was heard again, and Sakura leapt off the jet at the last moment, rolling and tumbling in grass, and catching bruises from rocks. She turned her head up and saw three Blue-Eyes circling the sky.

The bursts from the Blue-Eyes weren't hard to dodge. All three together weren't fast enough to trip her up, nor did they have enough volume to force her too long into the air. She leapt forward, dodging the third blast. Here it comes, she thought. The real threat: the one from the mech. But Sakura was no idiot. She had intentionally put far more chakra into that leap than she had shown before. In fact, she put in just about enough to barely be out of the blast range, but close enough to take as much of the concussive force as possible. Her speed increased as she was propelled faster forward and up into the air, straight at Kaiba. After reeling her fist back, Kaiba went higher into the air. Sakura let go of the chunk of metal, stepped onto it, then hit her heal down with as much chakra as she could release in a split second. She rocketed at Kaiba.

"Obelisk!" Kaiba yelled. A beam of light shot from him. Sakura couldn't tell if it started from the ground or sky, but as she entered it, it blinded her. Reaching forward without sight, she grabbed onto something. Pain shot through her knees then forearm, but it was nothing compared to her own elbow crushing against her ribs. She was forced to release Kaiba as she tumbled across what felt like solid rock. Down on one knee but remaining strong and firm, Sakura looked down Kaiba, eyes serious, and hair whipping around wildly as the immense titan they were on trudged forward. Terrifying screeches were heard, then the all too familiar "vvooom." Kaiba threw his hand forward and sparks started jumping out of his aura. Sakura leapt forward as the trio of beams tried to entrap her. Again, she was too fast. Kaiba was locked in sight: right in her crosshairs. Fist ready, she began to swing, mere feet from Kaiba. He was…smirking. "Shadow Spell."

Sakura felt a tug at her ankles, then her wrists. Shock spread across her face as she was yanked down by dark purple chains. More chains wrapped around her and tried to pin her limbs to her body. Tugging on the chains, trying to continue forward, they began to twist and creak, but she knew there was no way she could destroy them in time. Kaiba was stepping towards her with a card drawn. He raised it, held between two fingers, over his opposite shoulder. He just kept stepping forward. Sakura tried to back up. She felt herself panicking and her face reflecting that. No, she thought. Die like a ninja with your head up. She readied herself. As Kaiba started to swing, she shut her eyes. But there was nothing. No pain. Not even a slight sensation. What was going on?

"Himura-sensei?" she whispered. He was crouched below Kaiba with his right hand on his sheathed katana handle and the other grasping Kaiba's wrist that held the card.

Then came the chirping.

Sakura couldn't see much of Kaiba, because he was obstructed by Kenshin, but his face was visible, and the expression he made was nothing less than pure shock and pain.

"What have you done, Sasuke?" Kenshin asked as he caught Kaiba's falling body, revealing Sasuke. Sasuke pulled his arm out of Kaiba's back and stepped past the two, heading towards Sakura.

"No one tries to kill Sakura," he said. His walk was a light, lazy one.

But then the chains shattered and released Sakura. And the titan they were on began to vanish.