Dark Reflection

Chapter 40

"Darkness"

by Lilyjack

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Matt Dillon and Kitty Russell sat mutely side by side in the close, inky darkness of the cellar room, listening. Their senses strained to detect any harbinger of danger that could possibly foretell Silas Blackthorne's men coming to hunt them down. Floorboards creaked upstairs and footsteps sounded overhead. Mr. Botkin, perhaps, lamely shuffled and Charlie Fitz scurried around the kitchen, scraping furniture across the floor.

After what seemed like an eternity, it all stopped, and…nothing-only the sounds of their own breathing. Finally, in the deafening silence they could even detect their hearts thumping in their chests, pounding in their ears. They remained like statues, frozen in place, waiting for what remained uncertain. A deadly struggle? Desperate flight? Capture and further torture? Kitty shuddered at the paralyzing thought.

"You okay, Kitty?" Matt whispered so quietly she wondered if she'd even heard it.

At first, she nodded, but then, realizing he couldn't see her, she whispered in return, "Yes." She may as well be alright. There was nothing to be done about their present situation but sit and wait.

They sat for some time, listening to the unbroken stillness until Kitty murmured, "Matt, you need to lie down. There's no telling when they'll be here or if they'll even come. You need rest. Remember what Doc said."

"I'm fine, Kitty."

"No, you aren't. I can hear you breathin' and it doesn't sound good. Lie down, just for a little while, okay?"

"I can't…"

"Don't argue with me, Matt," she insisted in a tone that suggested refusal would not be suffered gladly. He felt her gentle but firm hands on his bare shoulders pushing him back on the cot. She added, "I'll sit right here with you."

Groaning quietly, he stiffly stretched out his aching body and made sure there was enough room for her to sit alongside him. He felt her hip settle warmly against his hip, her thigh brushed his naked torso. She asked worriedly, "I'm not hurting you? You have enough room? I can move…"

"No, I'm not… I mean, you're fine. Stay right here with me," he reassured her. He exhaled a shallow breath, pulled the black patch from his eye and shoved it into his pocket. Hell, he couldn't see a thing down here anyway so double vision wasn't even a factor at this point.

They sat soundlessly for quite a while longer, waiting, worrying. What was happening in Dodge right now? Were their friends and fellow townspeople safe? Silas Blackthorne was a ruthless man. He would stop at nothing to find them.

Kitty finally spoke, her voice betraying only a hint of the upset she felt, "Do you think Chester is okay?"

Matt assured her, "I think he's probably fine. I doubt they'd suspect him—they probably underestimate Chester."

"Underestimate him?" she wondered aloud.

"They most likely don't consider him a threat. But they don't know him like we do. Chester's brave. And loyal. He'd do anything for you, Kitty."

"I know," she quietly acknowledged. "I'd do anything for him, too." She paused, remembering. "It's my fault Chester's got that scar on his face."

"Oh?" Matt wanted to draw her out, but he didn't want to be pushy, to upset her.

She cleared her throat, steeled her nerves. "It was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me, that night." Her voice turned dark, bleak, the events rushing back at her like a crushing wave. But the intimate darkness of the room, their proximity, gave her courage to speak of it aloud. "Silas Blackthorne, he came after me. Couldn't stand that I wouldn't knuckle under, give him my money. I worked hard for that money, dammit. He grabbed me, and Chester tried to stop him. But Chester was no match for those animals, and there were too many of them. Blackthorne dragged me upstairs, wanted to teach me a lesson, shut me up. I fought 'im, but the man's big, almost as big as you, Matt. It was useless. Next thing I know, Chester's back again, ready to fight. And he pulled the only weapon he had, his little pocketknife that he whittles with all the time. Blackthorne just laughed and pulled out a big knife and cut a gash on Chester's face. Blackthorne held his knife to my throat, called Chester names. There wasn't a damn thing either of us could do." She stopped, took a shuddering breath. "They beat him for what he did."

Matt felt a deep-down anger at her words, a sorrow that he hadn't been there to stop it all. But he simply and quietly told her, "I'm sorry, Kitty. I'm sorry for what happened to you. For what happened to you both."

She continued, her voice thick with emotion, "Chester took care a' me while I was locked up. He made sure I ate, had clean clothes. He held my hand and talked to me when I was afraid to fall asleep. Afraid that…monster would come back any minute."

Matt couldn't swallow for the lump in his throat. His face flushed with fury and frustration.

She interrupted his thoughts. "Matt, that kiss you asked me about?"

He lay still, then cautiously replied, "Yeah…"

"I kissed Chester because he's my friend. Nobody has ever protected me and cared for me the way he has. He's a very dear friend, and I appreciate the things he's done for me…more than anybody will ever know."

"Oh, I do know, Kitty. He was there…for you when nobody else was." The words tasted bitter with regret in his mouth.

"I've got no family left to speak of. I'm alone in this world, 'cept for Chester. He's like a brother to me, the brother that I never had."

Kitty could feel against her leg, rather than hear, the soft sigh that escaped Matt's lungs right then. He lay mutely and then scrubbed his palms over the stubble on his face. Finally, he carefully responded, "I'm real glad you feel like…Chester's a brother to you, Kitty. It's… important to have family and friends to lean on…especially in times like these."

Kitty dared to reach out in the darkness, to lay her hand on Matt's arm. "All of a sudden, I feel like I got some new friends though. Friends who've risked a lot to help me when I needed it. I just don't quite know what to make of all this, all these people I've had to learn to rely on, to trust. I've always had to take care of myself, ya' know?"

"I understand, Kitty. I lost my parents…when I was young. I had to learn to fend for myself pretty quick. Oh, I moved in…with another family, but that didn't last too long. I didn't really...belong to them. I struck out on my own very early in life."

Kitty squeezed his arm. "I lost my mother when I was just a girl. She died of the fever, lingered for days, but there was no savin' her. We weren't on good terms with my extended family—seems my mother had married a no-count riverboat gambler and they were none too pleased about that. I never knew my father—he took off right after I was born." She snorted derisively. "Men…" But then she amended, "Present company excepted, of course."

"No offense taken," Matt was quick to respond, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"I ended up with a crafty old girl who finished my raisin', taught me a lotta things that probably made my mother turn over in her grave. But what she taught me helped me survive." Her voice lowered, "It's hard bein' a woman alone in a man's world."

"It's been awful tough for you, Kitty, but…you're smart and you're strong."

Kitty replied bitterly, "I wasn't strong enough though."

"Sometimes, circumstances go…against you. It's not your fault, Kitty." Matt took a breath and put his hand over hers. "I don't think…I've ever met a woman as brave as you."

Kitty was struck speechless for several moments. She didn't know what to make of this man. He seemed to think a lot more highly of her than perhaps she deserved. She admitted, "You might not say that about me if you really knew me. I've done a lotta things I'm not proud of. I made my money doin' things that the Lady's Aid Society of Dodge might not approve of so much."

Matt detected the wry stoicism in her voice but felt compelled to clarify. "Kitty, out here in the West is where a lotta men…and women come to make a clean start. That's the draw of this wild place—you can be anything you wanna be. And maybe…you made your money in a way that some people might look down on you for. Well, you made your money…the only way you knew how, right?"

"I didn't have much money to start with. So that didn't leave me a lotta choices. A teacher? Lord knows folks wouldn't want me teachin' their young'uns what I know of the world. A washerwoman? I don't think I'm cut out for that. A girl's gotta know her strengths, work with her assets."

"You play the hand…you're dealt, Kitty. And you've done an…admirable job of that, I'd say. What's the shame in that?" Matt took a quick breath and admitted, "I'm proud of you."

"You're proud of me?" She'd never heard such from a man, and it was evident in her voice.

"Yep."

"I…" She swallowed hard and replied, "I appreciate that, Matt." Then she asked him, "Now, will you tell me about what you did when you left your foster family?"

"Sure, Kitty, but it's a long story."

"Well, Matt, I think I got the time."

"I guess we both do."

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Matt awoke. He was initially startled when he opened his eyes to pitch blackness until he remembered where he was and why the lamp had been extinguished. Immediately, his ears tuned to his surroundings. He heard nothing whatsoever out of the ordinary—the house was still peaceful and calm.

He detected a weight on his chest, a warm, supple weight that smelled of rose-scented soap. Kitty had fallen fast asleep sitting beside him, her torso draped over him like a soft blanket. He wished he could leave her undisturbed, but his ribs were hurting like hell and he needed to reposition his aching leg. He scooted closer to the edge and carefully shifted her onto the bed beside him.

"No…" she mumbled. "Don't touch me…" Her limbs went rigid. She whimpered in her sleep, and the sound squeezed Matt's chest like a vise.

He whispered, "Shhh… Kitty, it's me, Matt."

"Mmm?"

"It's Matt, honey. Don't be scared."

"Matt…?" she drawled in a sleep-drunk voice. Was she awake or having a waking dream like last time? Would she recognize him or spring up, ready to fight?

"Yeah, it's okay. Put your feet up here…under the covers."

"Matt…" This time it was a statement of fact, a recognition of who he was, and he sighed in relief, pulling the blanket over her, gathering her to him.

Kitty's body relaxed and melted into his as she gave a deep sigh. Her breathing became slow and deep and even, and he realized she was fast asleep once again. Tears stung Matt's eyes as he settled down, wrapping a protective arm over her, wishing he could erase all the bad things that had happened to her. Finally, he drifted into an exhausted sleep nestled against her, his heart as full as his arms.

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A loud bang sounded from upstairs, and Matt and Kitty sat bolt upright, eyes blindly searching for a threat they could not see. Hastily, Matt leaned over her with a painful groan, groping on the floor beside the bed. Then she heard him cocking the hammer of his pistol, that frightening metallic clacking sound that portended violence and often death. During her relatively short lifetime, she'd seen countless men, and sometimes women, killed and maimed with firearms. It was a sound that always made her hair stand on end, made her skin prickle in dread.

Matt whispered in her ear, "I hear boots up there. Don't make a sound."

tbc

Author's Note: More theme song music! And, yeah, I realize the song lyrics below are referring to God, but when I listen to this song, I hear an embattled Kitty speaking from her Dark Reflection.

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What you say of me
I believe

"I Believe" sung by Lauren Daigle, Written by Jason Ingram, Paul Brendon Mabury, Lauren Daigle

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