Execute Chapter 66

Obama and his friends were now in Hank Hill's car. They took a detour to downtown Chicago so Obama could reminisce about the city where he got his start.

"I was uhhhh, got my start here, in the windy city" said Obama who would have had his hair blowing in the wind but his hair was pretty short so it didn't look that cool.

"So what do you want to see?" Asked Jeb!?

"Well, I'm glad you asked, Jeb!" Mr. Obama said, "I want to see my old house."

"What a coincidence," said Hank who was driving, "We're here!"

Obama jumped out of my house and opened the door, "This is my old house" Obama said to his friends.

The family of four who were living there screamed in terror as Former president Barack Obama, Jeb!, Bernie Sanders, a man with a boot on his head, a skeleton, a Libertarian, and Danny Devito all walked into their house. "Here was the old living room" Obama added casually.

"Let me show you upstairs" Obama also said after he said the first thing.

As he walked upstairs he was unsurprised to see his old bed, but he was MOST surprised to see Vladimir Lenin chilling on it. "We meet at last!"

"HP Minecraft" Obama chuckled, "I haven't seen you since time immemorial"

Bloomberg who was climbing inconspicuously through the window panted, "You know him?"

"It is a long story, one your mortal mind could not truly understand." Lenin floated up from the bed, "I have long awaited this."

Obama turned to his friends, "You guys should get going, I uuhhhhhhh, have some unfinished business."

"Yep, sounds good to me." said Bernie, feeling the energy radiating from HP Minecraft, "Lets get back to the car!"

Lenin's hand glowed as he manifested a Diamond Sword. Obama drew a purple lightsaber. They both charged, blades colliding like two corn dogs. The collision caused an explosion that destroyed the entire second floor of the former Obama house. Bloomberg, who just got through the window was blown away, falling to the ground.

"SHIT"

Obama charged again swinging his lightsaber, but each time it was effortlessly dodged by HP Minecraft. Minecraft then kicked Obama who did a cool double backflip which would have been good if he didn't crash right into the nightstand. Minecraft picked up Obama and threw him into a nearby house. Bloomberg gazed up, as he saw HP Minecraft jump into the building, following Obama.

HP Minecraft raised his Diamond sword but Obama raised his lightsaber to block. The collision caused another explosion, sending debris from the house to land on Bloomberg who was right outside. The impact knocked HP Minecraft back a little bit, just enough for Obama to jump back onto his feet.

Nixon finally caught up with Bloomberg, "What did I miss?"

"HP Minecraft is fighting Obama," Bloomberg said, "We should keep our distance, this looks like it's going to be destructive."

Obama lunges with his blade, grazing Lenin's suit. He is then hit with the blunt end of the Diamond Sword. Obama hobbled towards the edge of the building and jumped backwards onto the roof of a car that was passing by. HP Minecraft jumped onto an adjacent car.

"They're getting away!" Bloomberg shouted, "JET"

Jet sighed as Bloomberg grabbed onto him. Fire shot out of the back of Jet's head as they flew after the battle.

"Wait, what about me?!" Nixon screamed, running after them.

HP Minecrat swung his sword into the car Obama was on, causing it to spin out of control crashing into a nearby parking lot. Obama looked into the car window, "Uhhhhh, don't worry, under Obamacare, you can, uhhhhhhh, have free healthcare."

"Thanks Obama!" said the man who was fine.

Obama ran towards the building. HP Minecraft jumped off the car to give chase.

Obama was now through the doors.

"Hi, welcome to iHop!" said the waitress.

"You've made a grave mistake following me here!" Obama said to HP Minecraft.

"What, this iHop?" Lenin chuckled, "What are you gonna do, eat pancakes at me?"

Obama chuckled, "You would think that, wouldn't you?"

"It was more of a joke than a legitimate suggestion"

The waitress appeared with two menus, "I'll take you to your table!"

"Actually, could we get a booth?" Obama asked.

The waitress smiled, "Actually, the only booth is full"

Obama clutched his chest, "Who could have taken my Booth?" he turned to the booth only to see Real life Obama sitting there, smiling at him.

The waitress led HP Minecraft and Obama to their table, as well as handing them the menus.

"Can I start you out with a drink?" the waitress asked?

"Wine. Red." said HP Minecraft with Lenin's kissable lips.

"Can I get chocolate Milk?" Obama asked.

The waitress smiled, "Sorry, someone already ordered the chocolate milk."

Obama turned to the booth and saw Real Life Obama, sipping on a tall cool glass of chocolate milk.

"So, uhhhh, what brings you to Chicago?" Obama asked.

"Oh you know," Lenin said, not looking up from the menu, "raising the dead."

"Ah," Obama admitted.

"Here's your drinks," the waitress poured a glass of wine for HP Minecraft. She gave Obama two cups, one containing milk, and the other containing chocolate.

"Are you ready for your food?" she asked.

"I don't eat" HP Minecraft said plainly.

"And I, Obama said smugly, will have, he chuckles, the Usual"

The waitress smiled, "I'm sorry, someone already ordered the Usual"

Obama looked at the Booth. Real Life Obama smiled and winked at him. Obama winked back. Peas manifested physically, consuming the entire restaurant.

HP Minecraft began screaming! "AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Peas crawled into his skin, eating away at his flesh in an unnecessarily grotesque way.

"Now, uhhhhh, you know how it feels" Obama sped.

"OBAMA, YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY ETERNAL EXISTENCE!" The pain was real, and the scene was physically uncomfortable to look at, but soon enough there was nothing left of Lenin but a large pile of peas.

Obama ate a single pea, "Check Please."

The waitress smiled, "I'm sorry, someone already got the check"

Obama looked at the booth, and saw that Real Life Obama got the check. He gave Obama a thumbs up, and then opened a dimensional door to return to the real world.

Obama stepped outside of the iHop, and wiped the sweat off his brow. Suddenly, Bloomberg pulls up to the Parking lot, and de-mounts Jet.

"What's the matter? Hid at that iHOp?!" Bloomberg chuckled, "Did Minecraft have done playing with you?"

"Nah, he dead" Obama sipped on HP Minecraft's wine. Obama was using a straw.

Bloomberg's face contorted into an uncomfortable mixture of anger and terror, "YOU WHAT?! That's an Elder God!" He nervously chuckled, "You can't be telling me you KILLED an Elder God?!"

Obama looked around, "I don't see any Gods here."

Bloomberg looked around panicking, "NOT Funny Minecraft! GET OUT HERE"

Silence.

Bloomberg backed up several steps, "I'm too rich to deal with this. JET! Destroy Him!"

Bloomberg dashed in the opposite direction.

WHO WILL WIN?

Find out next issue, Obama Tales Episode 67: JET VS OBAMA