151
"Are you coming back?"
M. waited for Amber to respond, and she finally looked over at him. They were lying on the grass, and the Xinta sighed.
"I don't know yet," she admitted. M. pushed himself up on one arm as he looked at her.
"You got my father's letter, didn't you?"
"Yes. We read through it yesterday."
"He's letting you continue at the school. After all, you didn't really have anything to do with all this drama, and you did win a spot after that audition."
Amber was still silent and M. searched his friend's face.
"But I mean, if we're being honest, you're probably going to have to do this semester over. You started late and took all this time off…"
"I didn't take it off," she argued, but she could see him smiling and knew he was just joking. She poked his arm. "There were extenuating circumstances."
He just smiled, but it didn't really reach his eyes.
"Do you not want to come back?" he finally asked softly. Her expression became incredibly hard to read, and M. wished for the millionth time that he knew what was going on in her brain.
"It's not that I don't want to," she finally explained, laying back down to stare up at the clouds. "It's my parents…"
"They don't want you to dance?" he asked, his tone a more bitter than he meant it to be. However, Amber didn't really react other than to sigh again.
"It's not dancing. It's Ninjago. They have to leave…and it's going to be hard for them to visit in the future. I don't know everything that they've been deciding in those meetings, but…"
She fell silent, shrugging sadly.
"If I was to stay here, it wouldn't be like it has been. I'd have to be here more full time."
"You couldn't visit home?" he asked, incredulous.
"I could, just not often. And apparently it requires a bunch of paperwork."
"You were already living here full time, Amber," he argued. "And only visiting a few times a year. Why is this different?"
"Because before I could pop in and out if I really needed to…I always knew I could go home if I wanted, even if I wasn't supposed to for school. But now it's so complicated; from what my Dad's explained, I'd be a citizen of Ninjago, and my Grandpa Lou would have custody of me…or something. And I couldn't go home without filling out the paperwork first, or things suddenly get all ugly all over again."
M. was silent, not sure what to say. But it seemed he wasn't good at hiding his disappointment from her because she was turning to him with flashing eyes.
"I would have to have some stranger's permission to see my own family!" she pointed out angrily, and M. held up his hands.
"I get it, Amber. Ok? It's just…isn't this your dream? You can't dance back in your home realm, right?"
"It is my dream," she agreed, the anger leaving her. "But…my family is the most important thing in the world to me. I just…I don't know what to do."
He stared up at the sky, falling quiet. It seemed that neither knew what to say, so for a little while they didn't say anything. A breeze rustled past, stirring M's hair as he spoke again.
"Your parents don't want you to stay?"
"No. They don't." Amber winced. "The thought of being even more cut off from me is making my Dad nervous…and my Mom's still angry with everything that happened. She says she doesn't trust Ninjago enough to leave me here on my own."
"You wouldn't be on your own," M. said softly, and she bit her lip as tears filled her eyes.
"I know. But honestly, I'm not sure if they'll let me, not after everything that happened with…"
She cut off abruptly, and M's expression tightened.
"My mom," he finished for her, and she didn't meet his eye. He glared up at the clouds. "You don't have to worry about her, Ams. She lost the primaries…last I heard she's left town. She's got to start over somewhere, and I think even she knows better than to try to start over here."
"She could always come back. She was furious at that trial, and I can only imagine that she's angrier when the fire department and police determined that there wasn't enough solid evidence to put Theo on trial for that fire. My mom's terrified that she's going to try to take it out on me if I stay here."
"My mom couldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole," M. pointed out. "Like…you're more powerful than anything she could cook up."
"I guess."
Silence again. M. didn't want to just lie there in silence, especially if Amber really was leaving with her family in two days. But he wasn't sure what else he could say to convince her to stay here in Ninjago.
Though, it wasn't really fair to try to get her to stay, his conscious pointed out. Not when he knew that his own life would be changing at the end of the semester anyways. He didn't know the details, just what his father had hinted at. He thought about bringing it up, but decided against it. There was no point.
"What does Theo think?" he finally blurted, and Amber frowned.
"I don't know. He…won't talk to me about it."
He looked over.
"What do you mean?"
"He's been kinda weird this last week…like he has some secret that he doesn't want to talk about. I know him well enough to know he's got some plan, but the more I press the more he just says that he'll let me know."
"That's frustrating," M. offered, and she snorted.
"No kidding. And my Mom just keeps talking about how she can't wait until they're done and we can all go home. And Dad…"
She trailed off, her expression twisting.
"I think this is hard on my Dad," she finally admitted. He looked over at that.
"Why?"
"This has always been his first home, but then he moved to the first realm. I think he likes being able to come visit his father and friends, but now it's going to hard for him. They kinda…revoked his Ninjagoan status."
"Can they do that?"
Amber just shrugged.
"I dunno. That's just what Theo told me."
"You're part of the Oni Ruling Family, right? How come you aren't going to all these meetings?"
She didn't answer right away.
"I'm…not really part of the ruling part of the family. Mom's the Ruler, my dad's her bound partner, and Theo's the Heir. I'm just…extra. I don't really have any political power."
M. frowned.
"Well…you got more actual power than anybody else," he offered, and she just gave him a withering look.
"Not really taken into consideration…especially here in Ninjago. They don't really do the whole most-powerful stuff here, from what I can tell. At least not when it comes to Ruling; otherwise Uncle Lloyd or Garmadon would be in charge…right?"
M blinked.
"I guess."
"How have you been?" she cut in, and M. wondered if she just wanted to change the subject. "How are things with your father?"
He thought about it.
"Better…I think. I was sure that he was going to tighten his hold after I ran away…like, me never seeing the light of day again sort of thing. And he's definitely still pretty strict. But he hasn't locked me up again, so that's a good sign."
Amber looked over in shock.
"He locked you up?"
M's became sheepish; maybe he shouldn't be sharing everything.
"Just in my room. The night you were in the hospital."
Amber just stared and he cleared his throat.
"He didn't want me to come check on you…but I had to. So I climbed out the window."
"You did?"
He shrugged, and she slugged him.
"Crazy Openheimer…"
"Hey!" he complained, rubbing his arm even though the punch hadn't hurt. "You're supposed to be touched by my dedication."
"I am touched," she complained. "I just wish you didn't do such crazy things."
"I was fine," he pointed out defensively, not mentioning that he had managed to sprain his wrist in the process.
"Your Dad didn't want you to visit me…but he's ok with you being with me now?"
M. fell quiet, and her expression became suspicious.
"Does he know you're with me right now, M?"
He shrugged.
"He probably guessed. I didn't really keep it secret, but I didn't necessarily tell him I was coming to meet up with you."
"Why did he say I can have my dance spot back? Did you tell him to let me back in?"
"No…not this time…"
"This time?"
M. winced, realizing his faux pas. He cleared his throat, staring up at the sky to avoid eye contact.
"I mean…I practically begged him to let you in after that amazing audition, but this time he actually told me that he was writing you and offering you your spot back."
"You begged him to let me in?" she asked, incredulous. "I thought he let me because…well…"
"Don't think you didn't earn it, Amber. I might have begged, but it was your performance that sealed the deal. There was no way he could deny you after that dance. Honest."
Well…mostly honest. But M. didn't really want her to know about his and his father's little deal. Especially since he hadn't kept his end of the bargain; he had run off. That was why he was even more shocked that his father had agreed to let Amber back into the program again. But Amber had to say yes…if she turned the headmaster down, that would be it. M. wasn't stupid enough to think that she had any chance of dancing if she gave up now.
"You'll tell me, right?" he finally blurted, and she glanced over.
"Tell you what?"
"What you decide? I mean, you won't just up and leave back to your realm without saying goodbye…right?"
Amber held his gaze for a moment and finally smiled a little.
"I'll let you know. Promise."
Keyda pushed the door open, and in the dim light, she could see Cole sitting on his childhood bed. He didn't hear the door swing soundlessly open, occupied with something in his hand.
"Cole?"
He glanced up at her, and offered her his usual half-smile. But it didn't really reach his eyes…he was upset, she knew. The Oni Ruler hugged herself as she came in, tilting her head.
"Are you packed?" she finally asked, and he nodded slowly.
"Yeah…I'm packed."
She came over to sit next to him, and caught sight of what he was looking at. It was an old photograph; she recognized it as the last family picture Cole had taken with his parents. It was in a simple wooden frame, and she could tell that it had recently had the dust wiped off of it. There were still a few tell-tale streaks on the glass.
"Are you alright?" she finally asked, and he sighed.
"I'll be fine, Keyds. I was just thinking."
She scanned his face, but he was still looking down at the picture. She finally glanced back at it herself.
"He'll be ok, Cole," she offered softly. Her husband didn't answer right away.
"He's not getting any younger," he finally murmured, and then he wiped his face with one hand.
"We can still visit him. This isn't goodbye…"
"It'll be harder now, Keyds. It's hard enough to find a spare few days once or twice a year to pop over. But now we can't just come over on a whim, when things work out. Everything has to be planned in advance…"
"So we'll plan it in advance," she cut in, wrapping an arm around him. "We'll come back to Ninjago, Cole. Eventually."
His expression twisted at that, and her own smile faded. After a moment she cupped his chin to turn his face to face hers.
"I know you hate it when I ask," she murmured, scanning his face. "But I can't help wonder if you wish that you hadn't given everything up when you moved to the first realm all those years ago."
"Keyds."
He scoffed softly, grabbing her hand with his own as he shook his hand.
"I don't regret anything. You know that. It's just hard sometimes, trying to balance two realms…two parts of my life."
He glanced at the picture again, his expression becoming distant.
"Especially since I've always felt like I wasn't giving as much to this half of my life as I should have. I already wasn't visiting Pop often enough. And now it's just going to become harder, not easier, and I've already forgotten so much…"
"Hey, Idiot," she chastised softly. "I care about your father too. Don't think for a moment I'm not going to make the time to come visit him. Who knows…maybe now it will make it easier to get away, since we have to plan it in advance rather than just leaving when we suddenly have time. Especially since we rarely ever suddenly have time."
"I guess."
She moved her hand from his chin to the back of his neck, teasing his hair.
"I know that I haven't been very happy with Ninjago lately," she murmured. "And it still makes me so angry to think about everything that's happened these last weeks. But I don't blame your father…or your friends. I'm not going to take it out on them. I'm not going to take it out on you."
"I never said you were," he pointed out softly, and she shook her head.
"But you're afraid of these new laws changing everything…and I'm telling you, they won't. Not the important things. I know change is hard, but we'll get through it together, just like we always have."
He smiled at that, and she felt relieved to see it. He hadn't smiled much this last week…at least not sincerely. She leaned in and kissed him, and he held her close as he kissed her back.
"Well."
They pulled apart as they looked over at the doorway, where Theo was grinning at them. He looked tired, but happy.
"It's good to see that you're back to being mushy again. After these last few stressful weeks, I was getting kind of worried…"
"You don't need to ever worry about that," Cole assured, winking at his son. Theo just rolled his eyes.
"I finished the Oni translation of everything we decided with the council. Now Oni for many generations to come can be aware of all the things that will make Ninjago mad."
Keyda just snorted.
"Are you all packed?" she asked, and he shrugged.
"Eh…packed enough."
"Theo…"
"I'll definitely be ready by tomorrow morning, Mom…don't worry."
His smile faded then, as if he was suddenly thinking of something.
"In fact…there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."
"You've kinda been acting like something's on your mind," Cole mused. "What's up?"
Theo opened his mouth, then seemed to change his mind.
"Let's wait for Amber to get home. I want to tell you all about it…at the same time."
Keyda searched her son's face, a strange feeling appearing in the pit of her stomach.
"Alright."
"What?"
Amber stared at her older brother, and she could sense that her parents were just as surprised at his proposal. He smiled sheepishly, but she could also feel his confidence.
"It could work…" he started, but Amber just shook her head.
"But I don't know the first thing about being an ambassador!" she argued.
"Theo…" her mother joined in, but the stubborn Oni Heir just held out his hands.
"Just let me explain, alright?" he begged, and his family stopped talking to give him the chance. But Amber wasn't sure what he was thinking and she fixed him with an unsure look. He addressed her first.
"Look…be honest Amber. You still want to dance…I know you do," he started, and Amber risked a glance at her parents. But Theo stepped in front of her gaze, fixing her with a stern look…the kind that demanded that she tell the truth.
"Don't you?" he pressed, and she sighed.
"I…of course I do, Tay," she finally admitted angrily. "But we've already talked about this; with how things are now…"
"As Ambassador, you could stay here, Ams," he argued. "You wouldn't even need to be an "official Ninjago Citizen" or whatever. You'd be representing the Oni realm."
"So? How does that make anything better?" she demanded, and Theo shook his head at her tone.
"It means you wouldn't have to follow all their rules, Ams. I mean, maybe don't break tons of them to test the boundaries…but you could come visit us when you wanted to because you wouldn't be a Ninjago citizen trying to come visit. You'd be an Oni ambassador taking a vacation home, which is a lot easier to accomplish. I made sure of it when we planned all about them…"
"Amber's coming home with us, Theodynn. We already decided that it isn't safe for her here," Keyda cut in, and Theo turned to face his mother.
"Amber could physically handle anything that came her way…we all know that. As for legally—Matilda or anyone else couldn't touch her. Not when she's a diplomat from another realm; she'd have immunity. They wouldn't be able to pin petty things on her. I mean, they still shouldn't be able to now that Ninjago has officially recognized us all as royalty, more or less. But as an ambassador, she would have even more privilege. Remember everything we talked about with the council this week?"
Cole had stood, sighing as he put a hand on Theo's shoulder.
"Son…" he started, but Theo turned quickly.
"Dad…I get you're worried about her. But this way Amber could live her dream and not have all the restraints that we were worried about. Besides, now there will be someone here to keep an eye on Grandpa. That's what you want, right?"
Cole hesitated, and Amber finally spoke up.
"Again, I don't know anything about being an ambassador! I'm not like you, Theo…I can't…"
"You'd do better than anyone else we could send, Ams. And Ninjago is requiring that we send somebody. I've looked into everything; the council really just wants a figurehead more than anything else. Our realms aren't really going to have much to do with each other; there isn't even a need for an ambassador other than to give us information of things that change in Ninjago law that would affect us. Plus, they think having an Oni ambassador would help Ninjago people be assured that our relations are good and they don't have to worry about any phony invasions. It's the perfect gig, Ams…you'd be able to go to school, you'd just have to go to a few meetings every once and a while."
She stared at him, and he gave her a half-smile.
"Do you remember when you told me that you shouldn't have gone to school? And I told you not to let small minded people get in the way of your dream. Well, I'm still saying that, Amber. Why should Matilda's actions make it so that you can't go to school? Why should the Ninjagoan council have the power to say whether you can and can't go home?"
She still wasn't convinced, but she was realizing that the knot inside of her was loosening somewhat. It was the knot that had formed when she thought she was going to officially have to choose between her dream and family…
"Theo…I just don't think we can do this," Keyda cut in, and he turned to give her a meaningful look. It was one that Amber was familiar enough with…it was a special gift of Theo's, really. It was a look that softened the hearts of anyone he happened to be trying to convince. And it was effective too—even on people like Tolan or Ottan who weren't easily swayed. And, she knew, it was highly effective on their mother.
Keyda's resolve did seem to be lessening somewhat, and she sighed as she glanced at Cole.
"What do you think?" she finally asked, and Amber turned to her father who was sitting quietly. He was studying her, the Xinta realized. After a minute Cole spoke softly.
"Would it be something you wanted to do, Amber?"
They were leaving this up to her? She glanced from family member to family member and suddenly felt dizzy.
"I…don't know. I'd have to think about it."
Before anyone could say anything else-and definitely before Theo could turn his powerful expression on her—she got up and left the room.
152
Amber hugged the stuffed hoofer close, sitting on her father's old bed. It was really one of the only other rooms in her grandfather's small house, and it wasn't long before she heard a soft knock at the door. She glanced up as Cole poked his head in.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure," she said with a casual shrug, as if she wasn't wrestling with one of the hardest decisions in her life. He came to sit next to her, smiling at the hoofer.
"Man…how long has that been here?"
"Theo left it years ago. By the time he realized it, he'd grown out of it," she admitted, suddenly feeling foolish for hugging a stuffed animal. Her father just smiled.
"How you feeling?"
She shrugged again, but this time her eyes filled with tears.
"I…I don't know what to do. It's not that I don't want to go back with you guys, Dad, it's just…"
She sniffed, embarrassed, but her father just put one strong arm around her as a way to tell her to continue.
"I don't have friends back in the Oni realm," she finally admitted, staring down at the hoofer in shame. "Here I have M, Dani…the other musicians. I even have the other ninja kids, to a certain extent. I mean…we're definitely friendlier after these last weeks than we have been. But back home…"
The tears were escaping and her father pulled her close.
"I don't have anybody…except you and Mom and Theo. I just…I was finally feeling like I was finding my groove here. But I don't want you and Mom to think…that I hate you or something…"
Cole chuckled sadly, shaking his head.
"We would never think that, Ams. We know this is a hard decision for you."
"I don't know anything about being an ambassador, and that scares me," she told him honestly. "But…if it meant that I could go to school and be safe and visit and all that…"
"You could stay here without being the ambassador," her father pointed out softly, and Amber's expression hardened.
"I don't want to do that…stay here on their terms. Be considered a full Ninjagoan citizen only." She shuddered. "I don't know why, but that just feels…wrong. I'm an Oni, not a Ninjagoan. Theo's gone and found me a loophole to have what I want. But choosing this…it still feels like I'm betraying you guys."
There. She had said it, even though it filled her with shame. Her father's embrace tightened, but it wasn't him who answered.
"Amber."
She glanced up to see her mother in the doorway, watching them with a sad expression. She finally came over and sat on Amber's other side, brushing her hair out of her face.
"You aren't betraying us," she assured, "But I won't say that I'm not worried. I know you can handle yourself, but after these last few weeks…well."
Keyda sighed, and Amber was surprised to see her mother's eyes fill with tears.
"But I also know that dancing makes you happy. Your father and I…we've seen a change in you after your time here. Dancing…your new friends…"
She gave Amber a watery smile.
"It's all made you happier. More confident in yourself. And as much as I hate Ninjago right now, I have to realize that."
Amber reached out and grabbed her mother's hand, and Keyda leaned forward to cup her daughter's face in both hands.
"I still want you to come home with us…but I also know we'd never forgive ourselves for getting in the way of your happiness. But if you stay here, you are calling us every day. You understand?"
Amber didn't realize how much of her fear and anxiety was stemming from the fact that she didn't think her mother would ever agree to Theo's plan, until the moment she realized Keyda was going to let her stay. She began sobbing in earnest, nodding as she wrapped her mother in a hug. Keyda closed her eyes, and the three of them sat in that embrace for a little while. They didn't really notice Theodynn standing in the doorway, watching them with a soft smile.
"Are you mad I want to stay?" Amber finally managed, and she felt her mother's sadness.
"No, Amber…of course not," Keyda murmured.
Amber enjoyed the safety of being in her family's arms.
"I think Grandpa will be happy," she realized, and she felt a rush of relief come from her father.
"I think so too."
"We thought you were dead."
Theo smiled over at his bodyguard as Tolan fixed him with a withering look.
"My parents talked to Jaqah…"
"Sure, we know why you were gone so long, technically. But that doesn't mean that we weren't convinced those yellow freaks had somehow done something awful."
"Well, nothing that dramatic," Theo assured, but he self consciously tugged at his sleeves. Tolan noticed the movement, but didn't guess at the reason behind it.
"It must have been cold there; you don't need long sleeves in this realm…it's definitely not winter anymore. In fact, Syn and I were just talking about how it won't be long before you rope us all into another one of those…what do you call them again? Where everyone gets together to talk about how happy we are that you were born and eat that sick stuff?"
"Birthday party," Theo said with a smile, though it faded after a moment. "I guess it is getting close to my birthday, huh? Not sure I'm going to have a party this year…."
"Aw, too bad. Just when I was pretty sure this was my year to eat cahk without throwing up."
Theo smiled, but then shrugged.
"I'm going to be eighteen, right? So I probably shouldn't be having birthday parties anymore."
Tolan whistled low.
"Forgot you were turning eighteen. You know that means you're an adult now, right? With all those adult responsibilities…"
Theo laughed to hide how unnerving his bodyguard's comment was to him.
"Please…you're thirty-something and you're still not an adult."
Tolan rolled his eyes and shoved Theo with one arm as they walked.
"Careful, Freak. That's no way to speak to your Elders."
Theo just smirked.
"How's the family? I hope you at least took the opportunity to spend more time with them since you didn't have to follow me all over creation these last few weeks…"
"Nah, Jaqah and Ret kept me busy at the fortress. I forget how much stuff your parents do until they aren't around to do it, you know. Barely got to see Syn and Pip…"
"Pip must have been mad; weren't you supposed to be teaching her some new dagger-throwing tricks?"
"She didn't care; Fluff's been too busy helping Hershel now that he's…"
Tolan stopped abruptly, both talking and walking. Theo blinked at the odd behavior.
"Now that he's what?"
Tolan just shook his head.
"Nothing."
"Tolan!" Theo argued as his bodyguard started walking again. Theo found he had to speed up his gait to keep up. "Now that he's what? What's up with Hershel?"
Tolan didn't look like he wanted to share, but Theo managed to grab his shoulder and the lanky Oni glanced back at him.
"I'll find out eventually," Theo prompted, knowing that argument was generally enough to get Tolan to tell him stuff. Not that his bodyguard even needed coaxing most of the time.
"Things…happened while you guys were away," Tolan finally admitted, his expression stony. It made Theo's stomach flip a little.
"What kind of things?"
Tolan glanced at the dirt.
"Hersh's blind now."
Theodynn just stared, the words not having the impact they probably should have just because they took him so completely by surprise.
"He's…what?"
"Blind. He can't see anymore…and he can't use his powers."
It wasn't something Theo would have guessed, not in a million years. He looked at Tolan in disbelief.
"How?!"
"It's not my story to tell…"
"Oh, Tolan!" Theo argued, grabbing his friend's arm again. "Since when has that ever stopped you…"
"I said no, Freak!"
Tolan's eyes flashed, and Theo immediately let go of his arm. The bodyguard grimaced, turning away.
"I told you, it's not my story to tell. You only need to know the basics, alright? If you want the details you have to ask Hershel about it himself."
The guard was silent a moment before continuing.
"And I wouldn't advise it. He's already down about it enough as it is, without having to explain everything."
Theo didn't say anything else, just watching Tolan with wide eyes as his bodyguard walked away angrily. But the Oni Heir couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't the one Tolan was so mad at.
"A punishment? What kind of punishment?"
Syn winced at the Ruler's incredulous tone, and she rushed to explain.
"It's…complicated," she finally said. It wasn't that complicated, but she didn't want them to know. As much as she wanted Myrah to suffer for what had happened, she knew that it would only humiliate Hershel for people to know about it. Plus, he never was the type that wanted other people to be punished…even if they did deserve it. She clung to that as she forced herself to bite her tongue.
Cole was shaking his head, seeming just as shocked as Keyda.
"Is there anything we can do?"
The healer sighed.
"No. I just wanted to come tell you, so you'd know in advance. For the time being, I'm trying to handle all the Healing that needs to be done. Because he's blind, things are…harder for Hershel now."
It would make him angry to hear her talking like this, she realized. But it was true; he just couldn't do what he used to be able to do anymore. The last thing she needed was Keyda or Cole coming in desperate for Hershel's help. He wouldn't be able to, which would just make everything worse for all of them.
"So if you ever need anything, try to get a hold of me, rather than Hersh. That's why I told you…so you'd know."
"I still don't see how this could have happened," Keyda cut in. "The other Healers blinded Hershel? What possible reason could they have to do that?"
They were angry, Syn realized. And she also realized that it made her happy to know that they were furious, just as she was. Once again, she wished that there was something that the rulers could do. But really, they had no power against Imgloss, as much as he deserved to be punished. And what could they really do to Myrah? Strip her of her power? She debated again, but ultimately talked herself down. If she did that, Myrah would blame Hershel and persecute him all the more.
"I don't think it's fair…but it's some law of the Ancients thing that was used. Supposedly it's not permanent…as long as Hersh doesn't make any other mistakes."
"What mistake could he have made that he would deserve to be blinded? To have his powers stripped?" Keyda snapped, and Syn just looked down.
"Like I said…it's…complicated."
"If it's not permanent, then how long before it goes away?" Cole asked softly. He was simmering with that quieter anger Syn had come to recognize in the Ruler's Ninjagoan partner.
Syn was quiet a moment, her throat getting tight.
"I don't know."
Children's laughter broke into Myrah's thoughts. She grimaced; she needed to focus. She was in the market near the Western Fortress. There was another meeting today, and she frowned at the thought of it. Meetings were necessary, sure, but she preferred being out in the realm better than being cooped up in the stone walls. The longer she had been leader, the more she had realized how much of her life she had spent in those walls. Every hour on the outside was like a breath of freedom.
She spotted the culprits of the obsessive giggling; a group of children kicking a tuber around in the dirt and causing busy market-goers to curse and swat at them as they crashed into people and stalls alike. A small smile played at Myrah's lips as she watched.
"These were recently recovered."
She turned to the man in the stall, offering a variety of scrolls. Myrah scanned them, her eyes flicked over the old parchment.
"Where'd you get them?"
"A village in the south, actually. Not necessarily Western history, but they'd still be in the same time period as many others in your library. I assume you're still wanting to build it?"
She nodded; she had known this shopkeeper for a while. Generally, she became excited when he had new scrolls; it wasn't often he did. But today the lingering doubts and sadness were pressing on her mind. The shopkeeper must have noticed because his smile faded.
"Perhaps when I find something better?" he offered, and she gave him a sad smile.
"It's not that I don't want them…I've just been in a bit of a slump lately," she admitted. His brow furrowed further.
"How so?"
She shrugged, fishing money out of a small coin purse. Bula had always taught her to only carry a little bit of money on her, in case of pickpockets. But the thought of her advisor made her stomach clench, and she wasn't paying attention as a child ran into her.
Myrah hit the ground hard, and the shopkeeper cursed loudly. The guards standing a few feet back were there in seconds, ripping the child off the ground and helping the leader to her feet.
"You idiot vermin!" the shopkeeper bellowed, shaking a fist at the child and his friends, who were nearby. "You know who this is? Your leader! How dare you show disrespect…"
The child in the guard's grasp blanched, but one of his friends immediately darted forward to pick up the fallen scrolls.
"It's fine!" the older boy said, shoving the scrolls back onto the market stall. "It's just old stained paper!"
"Stained paper?!" the shopkeeper yelled back, incredulous. Myrah finally snapped out her shock, moving forward to give the guard a signal to release the younger boy. They did so, and he whimpered and ran off. The older boy went to follow, but the Western Leader put out a hand.
"Wait."
The guard moved to block his exit, and the boy turned. His bravado was failing, unease clear on his expression as the leader approached. The shopkeeper looked interested to see if the disrespectful cretin would get the punishment he deserved, but Myrah just pulled a scroll off the market stall as she approached the other Oni.
"What did you say this is?" she demanded, unrolling the parchment to him. His eyes scanned it quickly, and he shrugged.
"Just…stained parchment," he finally muttered. Myrah was incredulous.
"These are words. Can't you see that?" she demanded, gesturing to the writing. The boy was getting more and more uncomfortable, and she could see him scanning the scroll desperately.
"Oh…yeah," he tried, but she could tell he was lying, desperate to please her enough for her to let him go. She frowned.
"You can't read," she realized. She didn't know why it surprised her; not many Oni could, unless they were being trained for a specific role that required it. Like she had.
"Do you want us to take him back to the fortress?" one of the guards asked, and the boy stiffened as if getting ready to bolt. Myrah shook her head.
"No. Let him go. I just wanted to know."
The boy scampered off quickly, and she could hear his friends giving him a hard time as he reached them. In seconds the street was clear of children.
"Dirty kids…" the shopkeeper muttered, turning to her in apology. "The scrolls were in better condition before their interference…I can bring the price down."
"No need," Myrah assured, handing him the money. He accepted it gratefully.
"You mentioned a slump," the man said, picking up their old conversation as he pocketed the money. "Life at the Fortress proving strenuous?"
"No, it's more a question of purpose," Myrah murmured, slipping the scrolls into her satchel. "Trying to find mine."
"Ah…I suppose that is the great quest in all of our lives," the man said, giving her a wrinkly smile. "Making any progress?"
Myrah's eyes drifted back over to where the children had disappeared.
"I think I'm finally starting to."
153
"My help?"
Theo was surprised to say in the least. Myrah fixed him with a steady look as he ran his hand through his hair.
"I mean, I'm flattered, but why do you need my help?"
"It was your idea, after all," she explained with a small smile. "I myself don't really know how schools work, but you mentioned that you and your parents were wanting to start some…"
"Yeah, we try to bring it up every year. But leaders generally say there isn't enough money, or they don't have time. We keep meaning to do it, but…" Theo shrugged. "It's hard to make any lee-way, with everything else my parents have to do. I've been hoping that with me helping out more…"
"I lack neither the time or the resources," Myrah assured, cutting in. "And I agree that you would be a useful asset. I need your help with organizing it all…finding suitable teachers. Setting it all up."
He seemed unsure, and she reached out to put her hand on top of his. Theo's bodyguard shifted in his place along the wall, but Myrah ignored the surly fellow.
"You know more than me about all of this; I would like your help getting it under way."
Theo glanced up at her, and Myrah could tell he was flattered. He finally sighed with a smile.
"Well…I can't promise that it'll be perfect, but I'd love to help out. It's been my Dad's and my dream for a long time. It will be nice to actually get it started."
Myrah thought about what the fisherman-leader had told her.
"Sometimes, the more you're in charge of, the harder it is to make a difference," she mused aloud, and Theo tilted his head. She cleared her throat. "At least that's what I've heard."
He considered her words.
"Makes sense," he admitted with a laugh. "I mean, even the tournament took so much work, and all I was in charge of was organizing the whole thing. I had to rely on the leaders to handle the details of the events…you know? I think my parents wish that we could do more in the realm."
"I've been feeling that way myself lately," Myrah admitted. "But I'm realizing that by only being in charge of my province, I can be more involved in making changes."
He smiled at her, not at all guessing the true cause behind her weeks of drifting, longing for purpose. Unless, he did. She glanced over at the bodyguard again. He seemed bored, but she couldn't help but feel like he was watching her closely out of the corner of his eye.
"What are you imagining?"
She gave a start as she turned back to Theo, and he seemed surprised by her reaction.
"For the school?" he prompted. "How many do you want to make? And what ages? Who would qualify for it, adults or children?"
"Oh…well…"
Myrah realized she hadn't really thought it all the way through….or even partly through. But it had hit her hard in that marketplace. She wanted to do more, and she was in a position as a leader to be directly involved in something like this.
"That's why I needed your help. To help me make these decisions," she offered. He frowned in thought.
"I'm not sure if I'm really the right one to ask. I could talk to my Dad though. He's the one who set up the orphanages in the central province; he could help with…"
"This is something I see myself doing with you, Theodynn. Not your father."
She took his hand again, staring at him meaningfully. His expression went blank, and she could definitely see the guard's annoyance and even anger now. She thought about his threat and suddenly was filled with the feeling of urgency. She couldn't let that man hold things over her anymore…might as well get it out in the open. She had known the Heir for months now, and had already had to wait weeks to talk with him. She thought of Bula and everything she had said, about all of their plans that Myrah had derailed.
Theo's expression became concerned as the Western Leader's grip tightened on his hand, pulling him a little closer.
"Theodynn…" she started, the many reasons she had thought through over the past months on the tip of her tongue. Why they would benefit from Ruling together…why he shouldn't try to do it on his own. He would listen to reason, she was sure that he would. He would realize that he needed someone wiser and more experienced in order to pull this off. He couldn't do it himself…
Tolan was inching closer now as the Heir studied her face. She just needed to tell him, convince him. Make him see why it really would be best. Why she deserved to be Ruler.
But the words died in her throat as she stared into his eyes. Eyes so unlike those of the Oni…but filled with concern and an inner sincerity and innocence that she suddenly realized that she would be tainting. In that moment, the plans of months and years before that came crashing down around her, and her blood ran cold.
"Myrah, are you alright?" he finally asked. It wasn't that she didn't think Theodynn would believe her, if she told him that he didn't have what it takes to be Ruler. On the contrary, her hesitation stemmed from the fact that she knew deep down he would believe her. In fact, the scene of how it would go down played out in her mind—how Theodynn would react when he realized that she didn't really support him and believe in him the way his naivety had led him to believe. Myrah could picture the crushed look in his eyes so clearly…and suddenly all she could see was Hershel. Staring at her as he backed away, his expression twisted with hurt and betrayal.
Do you hate me that much?
By now Theo seemed more than a little concerned.
"What's wrong?" the Heir asked, and she glanced down to realize how tightly she was gripping his hand. She released him immediately, no doubt seconds before the bodyguard got involved; Tolan was hovering near them. In her desperation to find some reason for her strange behavior, Myrah's gaze fell on dark marks around the Oni Heir's wrists.
"What happened to you?"
Theodynn blinked, following Myrah's gaze. When he realized she was looking at his wrists, however, he winced and tugged his sleeves back down over them.
"Ah…nothing," he said, as if to laugh it off. She blinked.
"Those were wounds," she realized. "Healing wounds. What happened to you?"
Myrah glanced at Theodynn's bodyguard, sure he would be fixing her with a hateful look. Instead, he was looking at Theo with a concerned and suspicious expression of his own.
The older teen shrugged sheepishly. He seemed to realize he was in a corner, so he laughed as if trying to make it all a joke.
"Let's just say Tolan's lock-picking skills came in handy while we were in Ninjago," he tried, his laughter too forced for anyone to believe that the situation that had led to the new scars on his wrist was anything humorous.
"They locked you up?"
It was Tolan who spoke, and Myrah was surprised by the fury in his tone. Theo shrugged again, more miserably this time.
"There was…a misunderstanding."
"How dare they!" Myrah said, finding her voice. "You are the Oni heir! Did they not know that?! How dare they treat you with such disrespect!"
"It…worked out, in the end," Theo explained with a shrug. "I didn't let them keep me locked up for long. Like I said…"
"But they hurt you in the process; that didn't happen overnight!" Myrah pointed out, gesturing to his wrists. They were covered now, and Theo glanced away.
"No. It didn't."
He dropped his attempts at making the situation lighter than it obviously was. Myrah had never heard Theo sound like this…angry, she realized. Maybe even hateful.
She wasn't sure what to say, but at this point Theo sighed and turned back to face her with a tight smile.
"But it's over now, seriously. All worked out…they'll never make that mistake again. But, Myrah…you seemed like you were trying to tell me something really important. Is everything alright?"
She wanted to push him on the matter more, but she could also sense that he wasn't going to say more than what he had already explained. She could tell she wasn't the only one who wanted to know more, though; the bodyguard was giving the Oni Heir a very pointed look that Theo was obviously ignoring.
"Are you alright?" Theodynn asked again, and Myrah felt a wave of shame. Part of her still clung to her old plans, her old dreams. But as she stared at Theo, Myrah was forced to realize the truth. Those plans and dreams…were they really even what she wanted? She had always wanted to make a difference, to Rule the realm because she thought she could. But she could make a difference as a leader, without trying to force Theodynn into a binding. A binding that he would never take part of, she admitted to herself. She knew it…believing anything else was just a futile attempt to lie to herself.
"It's been a rough couple of weeks," she finally admitted. "But I'll live."
He nodded to himself, and she suddenly was overcome with the desire to ask him questions of a different nature. She was all too aware of Tolan still staring her down, but she was tired of keeping everything inside. She couldn't talk to Bula…or any village leader. No guard would understand her. She was alone, and even if Theo didn't love her, he cared about her. It was something he exuded with everyone he talked with; a genuine concern for them and their welfare.
It's why he'll make a good Ruler an inner voice whispered to her…one that inexplicitly reminded her of Heavy Metal.
"Can I ask you something?"
Theo leaned forward.
"Sure, anything."
She smiled at his simple willingness. She could feel Tolan's eyes boring into her, and she was surprised the opinionated guard hadn't said more. Perhaps he was waiting for her to say something that she couldn't take back…something that would mess everything up for herself forever.
"You…you mentioned crushing someone earlier."
Theo blinked in shock, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. Which led her to the uncomfortable realization that she was going to have to further explain what she meant.
"You know…when someone makes you feel jittery inside. When it feels so…desolate without them. You crush them…"
"Oh. Oh…."
She was relieved at the epiphany in his voice as he smiled.
"A crush. Like, when you like someone."
"Right."
She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath.
"How do you make it stop hurting?"
Theo looked shocked.
"You're…in love with someone?"
She physically winced.
"It doesn't matter," she murmured. "It's over now, but it won't stop hurting. You mentioned that you were in a similar situation once. What is it you did to ease the pain?"
"Oh. Um…."
Theo rubbed his hair again, and a sadness had crept into his expression that made the Western Leader almost sorry for asking.
"It kinda gets easier," he offered. "But it takes…time. I mean, while I was in Ninjago I saw the girl I like again. Liked. Well…like but am trying not to like…."
Myrah stared at him blankly, and he shook his head as if to shake out the rambling words bouncing around in it.
"Point being that it still hurt. I wish that I had a better answer for you, but from what I've heard, time is really the only way to heal from this kind of pain."
She leaned back into her chair, resigned.
"I suppose I guessed as much," she admitted. Theo leaned forward, resting his arms on the table as he studied her.
"Who is he?"
She glanced up at him and he gave her a little smile.
"Anyone I know?"
She resisted the urge to look at Tolan; the last thing she needed was for the oblivious heir to think she had feelings for his bodyguard.
"You know a lot of people," she finally stated simply, pushing herself to her feet. "Not to mention that he would no doubt wish to remain secret."
"He decided against the relationship, then?" Theo asked softly. She pushed some hair out of her face as she turned away, hoping that the gesture would hide her pained expression.
"It was a mutual decision. It…was an impossible situation."
"Hey, there are no impossible situations," Theo joked gently as he stood as well. "I mean, if my parents could make it work, then anyone can. Right?"
Just another way Theo's innocence and youth betrayed him. It made her smile a little, to know that he still had the kind of hope she wasn't sure she would ever allow herself to feel again.
"I'm surprised someone turned you down," she said, turning the conversation off of herself as she turned to face the young man. "A prince of the realm…it still boggles my mind that she would rebuff you."
He glanced away.
"Yeah…that has never really mattered to her. And there's this other guy…"
Theo's expression twisted and Myrah frowned.
"You're hoping to be bound to a Ninjagoan someday, then? Perhaps to bring relations between the realms closer?"
He looked up in surprise.
"Oh. No, not necessarily. I mean, Ash is Ninjagoan, sure, but that's never going to work out. It doesn't really matter who the girl is….I guess. We just gotta love each other."
His words sank in.
"That's a requirement, then?" she asked softly. He glanced over and smiled, as if he thought she was teasing him.
"The only requirement, really. I don't think I could ever be bound to someone just for relations like you said. But after all those meetings I had to go to in Ninjago, I could almost see those stuffy government officials suggesting something like that."
His face twisted in a grimace, and then he laughed.
"But that sort of thing really isn't for me."
She studied him and finally shook her head, the last of her plans finally relinquishing their hold on her. It was freeing in as many ways as it was disappointing.
"No, I suppose it wouldn't be," she offered, and he smiled.
"I guess that will all work itself out eventually," he offered. "That's what I've been told, at least. That it all works out eventually. In the meantime, at least we have a project to work on, right?"
She glanced one last time at the bodyguard. He was studying her with an unreadable expression, and she wondered if he knew that this was her surrendering those plans she had so adamantly vowed she never had in the first place. She looked away, giving Theodynn one last smile.
"Indeed."
24
