Sorry for how late this is. It's been a busy couple of months.
"Take it slowly."
Ava sighed, her arm outstretched as she slowly lifted it, instinctively stopping just before she reached the point she knew it would begin to hurt and lock. "About there."
Dr. Evanson frowned, focusing on her hand for a moment before moving to examine her shoulder, his hands gliding over the muscles. "There's nothing concerning in the scans, and the wound seems to have healed well. I want you to try and raise your arm a little higher. Slowly."
She did as he asked, continuing to lift her arm, but at a slower pace than she had been before, her eyes trained on her hand, trembling slightly, anticipating the pain she had become accustomed to feeling whenever she attempted the action.
"Any pain."
"No." She shook her head, continuing to raise her arm, past the point she had been able to without issues even the week before, and began to smile as watching her hand began to require looking up. Then, without warning, and when the limb was almost fully extended upwards, it was almost as if she hit a wall, and a jolt of pain ran down it, causing her to instinctively pull it back down, clutching it to her chest. "Yes."
The other doctor's frown didn't falter. "It's an improvement on the last time you attempted the action?"
"Yeah."
"It seems to be healing somewhat slowly." He concluded. "What exercises have you been doing at home the past few months?"
"The usual." Ava elaborated. "Pendulum, finger walk, a lot of stretches."
"How often?"
"About three hours a day."
"That's what they recommended?"
"They wanted me to start a little slower, but I didn't really have much else to do."
"You may have overdone it." He commented. "Give it a little more time, rest the shoulder a little more. Avoid unnecessary strain. Continue the exercises, but no more than an hour to ninety minutes a day. You're no longer taking the pain medication?"
She nodded. "After finishing the prescription."
"And you're managing pain without it?"
"Yeah, just aspirin and breathing exercises when needed."
"Good." He paused, writing something on the notes in front of him before turning back to her. "I think that's all for today." He stood, making his way to the door, pausing once his hand was on the handle. "The bad news is, I'm still not comfortable with clearing you for surgery. The good news is, I can clear you for work, light duty only."
"Really?" Ava didn't even try to suppress her smile, she'd given up on maintaining the reputation she had always had. "I can work?"
"As long as you don't take on too much."
He opened the door, meeting Goodwin's eyes from across the corridor. From her position behind him, Ava could see the question in the older woman's expression.
"Well?"
"Yes."
Ava stepped forward, moving past him and entering the corridor just in time to see Goodwin's expression change, a faint smile appearing on her face as their eyes met. "So you'll be returning."
Ava nodded. "As soon as I've testified, probably."
"Not before?"
"Kind of difficult to commit when I don't know when I'll be in court." Ava explained. "And I can't really do much without checking with Voight or Agent Stevens first, nowadays."
"I'm sure that's a cause for frustration."
"I've got used to it." She glanced over at Atwater, leaning against the door watching her closely. "It's not as if there's no reason for it."
She started to walk, Goodwin in step with her, knowing that the officer would follow close behind.
"Do you get an armed escort whenever you leave the place you're staying?"
"Not every time, but when we're going anywhere any of us have regularly gone before, it's mandatory." Ava frowned, there was no use pretending she liked the situation she found herself in. "I can't say I'm happy about it. They've got real cases, and it's kind of like babysitting."
"Hey," Atwater interrupted as they stepped onto the elevator. "I like protection detail. It's not usually our job so it's not something I get to do that often. Not gonna lie to you, do I wish you were some high profile diplomat instead? Yeah, but I'll take it."
Ava laughed, leaning against the back wall as the elevator began to move downwards. "I feel very safe in your hands."
"You should. I did take that Dalton guy down single handedly."
"Weird." The blonde grinned. "I could have sworn Burgess was there."
"She was my backup."
"Right." Ava gave a slow nod before shaking her head in amusement. "Of course."
"You've been spending a lot of time together?"
Ava nodded, not surprised that Goodwin had noticed the ease at which they talked. "Just the past week whenever I have to go out. Voight found out that Hailey took me to Molly's my first night back in town, so he's not letting her get involved right now."
"I told her you prefer me now, so it's all good." The elevator stopped and he stepped forward, motioning to her to stay behind him with a hand. He took a step out of the elevator, looking around. "Okay, all good."
"Who are you expecting to see?"
Atwater looked to Goodwin. "She always been this difficult?"
"Much worse."
The older woman turned as she stepped out of the elevator, giving a slight nod to Ava before heading down the hallway. Following Atwater, Ava moved forward towards the ED. They hadn't entered that way, she'd known if she had tried she might have ended up late to her appointment, but Voight had asked the officer to check on the status of a victim while he was here, and the quickest way to get that answer was to ask Maggie. Ava wondered if he knew that the detour might cause a significant delay to their leaving the hospital.
She took a moment to glance around herself, smiling at the sight of all the familiar faces, all of them oblivious to her presence as they went about their jobs. There was one person she didn't see, though, and she was willing to admit to herself that she was a little disappointed. Things with Connor were complicated to say the least, but they were making slow progress. Progress that she knew was helping her when it came to her attempts to merge her two vastly different lives.
"Maggie."
"Kevin Atwater." The nurse greeted in response, smiling warmly over the detective's shoulder at the blonde for a brief moment before focusing on him.
"I'm looking for an update on Aston Hawkins."
Ava had pulled out her cell, deciding to allow them the small amount of privacy she could – it wasn't as if she could step away, her only option was diverting her focus elsewhere, even if it meant scrolling through the numerous pictures of her nephew she had taken over the past months.
She jumped at the feel of a hand on her back, turning quickly to see Connor looking down at her, a small smile on his face, catching Atwater glance around out of the corner of her eye as she did so.
"Sorry, didn't think."
She nodded. "It's okay."
The words had been aimed at both men, and Atwater turned back to Maggie as soon as they were out.
"You're here for your appointment?"
"Just finished up." She couldn't help but be aware of his hand, remaining stationary on her back as they spoke. "Heading out in a second."
He glanced momentarily at Atwater. "You've been hanging out with Hailey's colleagues?"
Something about the way he said it made her frown. "Not exactly hanging out."
He nodded, pausing for a moment before changing the subject. "It's good to see you."
She gave a brief smile. "You too."
"So how'd it go?" He queried. "With Dr. Evanson."
"Fine." She cut off, considering her words before giving the details she knew he most likely expected. "It's healing. I've been overdoing it a little."
"When will you be back at work?"
"Month or so." She shrugged, debating whether or not to mention that she had already been cleared to return, even if not at fully. "Need to get the trial out of the way."
"Are you worried about that?" His finger started to draw circles on her back, and she wished she wasn't finding it as soothing as she was.
"Not really. I just want it over with." She sighed. "The unknowns worry me more than the trial itself."
"Unknowns?"
"Will Ella be there?" She voiced what she had been wondering since they had first been given the date. "What about everyone else? I have relatives in New York that know why we disappeared, will they show up?"
"Do you want them to?"
"Depends which ones."
He nodded. "Won't Ella be testifying?"
"I'm not sure." Ava admitted. "I don't think so. She was never directly harmed by him, and it might be better if she didn't."
"Why?"
"There's some stuff that could come out." She turned away briefly. "It doesn't matter, it's not my secret to tell."
"That sounds ominous." He paused. "Look, I'm about to go for lunch, how about you join me?"
"No can do." They both looked to Atwater as he spoke. "I have to get her back before I head back to the precinct."
Ava frowned. "You're not taking Matty to his checkup?"
"Kim's got that." Atwater explained. "Boss doesn't want any of us out of the loop with the case for too long."
Ava nodded, looking back to Connor. "Security's high right now. They want to make sure we actually make it to the trial."
The doctor looked to the other man. "She's in danger?"
"Not taking chances."
Ava looked past him, having heard the words multiple times since she had returned to the city, meeting Maggie's eyes over his shoulder and smiling.
The nurse responded with yet another warm smile of her own, stepping out and approaching the trio, not gaining the attention of the men until she was next to them.
"How long have you been back in town?"
"About a week."
"A week." Maggie glanced over to Connor, a knowing, somewhat amused, look on her face. "Yeah, that figures."
"How?"
Maggie ignored the question. "A week and this is the first I'm seeing you?"
"I'm not exactly getting out much."
"When will that be changing?"
Ava looked up to Atwater, who answered the question for her. "Depends on the trials."
It was a harsh truth, but one she had come to accept. It wasn't just Dalton on trial, and although the lack of loyalty towards him had been plain to see in the vast amount of plea deals that had been made since his arrest, there were two that had refused to turn on him. They needed those verdicts to go their way too, and if they didn't, they'd all agreed to stay in the program. To vanish again.
It was another reason for her reluctance to return to work. It had been difficult to leave last time, when her life in Chicago had all but collapsed around her and she'd had very little to stay for. How would she possibly be able to willingly walk away if she had inexplicably managed to rebuild it? It'd just be easier if she didn't. Easier if she didn't put herself into a position where she had to choose between the life she had built for herself and the safety of her family. It wasn't the easy choice it had always seemed like it should be.
"Are we good to go?"
As soon as she had got the words out she felt the hand on her back still, and she couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, knowing she had likely just given the impression that she was eager to leave, and that Connor had read into the words. She couldn't exactly deny it, though. She did want to leave.
"Yeah, I got what I need."
She nodded, stepping forward, only to turn back as her hand was grasped. Her eyes met Connor's, and she stared for a moment, noting the unasked questions in his gaze. Without words, she nodded, and he squeezed her hand before gently releasing it, enabling her to walk away.
-Ghosts-
Hailey Upton was exhausted. They'd barely had a break between cases recently, and between those and the seemingly constant meetings with the prosecutor, it seemed she barely had any down time, and since Voight had pulled her off of protection detail, it was down time that she was eager to find – it was the only time she would be able to visit her friend.
"Hawkins is out of surgery. Not conscious yet." She updated her boss with the information Atwater had just relayed to her over the phone. "Atwater's on his way back."
Voight nodded, looking past her to where Kim was sitting at her desk. "You still covering that appointment at the hospital later?"
"Yes."
"Check again when you're there. If he's awake, take his statement." He frowned, pausing for a moment. "See if Trudy can get you someone from patrol to meet you there, so our witness doesn't have to wait for you."
"I can go."
"I need you here." He didn't even consider her offer. "I want to know every detail about this Landon kid, bank details, friends, acquaintances. Hell, I want to know what this guy's favourite class was in third grade."
Hailey sighed. It had been worth a try, even though she knew he'd never have gone for it. She really shouldn't have given in to her friend's request, but Ava had seemed stressed, she'd needed that night out, so it was difficult to regret the choice.
She turned, knowing better than to question her boss, despite being aware that the only reason he was demanding so much information on a suspect they had in custody and could already prove was guilty was to keep her busy, and headed towards the break room, letting out a groan as she entered.
"She's fine, you know."
Hailey glanced up at Jay, then moved forward to pour herself some coffee. "I know," She hesitated, turning, mug in hand, to lean back against the counter. " and I'm glad Voight's let you stay on protection detail, even though you were there too."
Jay shrugged. "Guess he's not worried about me right now."
She frowned, reading between the lines. "Why would he be worried about me?"
"Case is personal to you." Jay reminded her, moving to stand next to her, almost mirroring her posture. "They're family to you."
"I've worked on cases that were personal to me before." She reminded him. "We all have."
"Never ends well."
"It works out."
"At a cost." Jay let out a sigh, watching his partner for a moment. She'd been tense for so long now, moreso than usually came from the daily grind. This trial was wearing her down, and he was worried about her. "Hailey, I won't let anything happen to them. It's not all on you. We're a team, remember."
She nodded. He was right, she'd told Rojas similar not all that long ago, and she knew she needed to go back to following her own advice. This case had felt like it was hers alone when she was undercover, but it never really had been, and it definitely wasn't now. Letting go of control was difficult this time, though. It wasn't just a case, it was more than five years of her life, it was part of what had shaped her, had made her the person she was today.
-Ghosts-
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"The hand thing." Maggie elaborated. "With Ava."
Connor frowned, not really wanting to discuss it. He hadn't really been thinking about what he was doing at the time, and he'd been trying to figure out what it meant that she hadn't immediately pulled her hand away, how he should be interpreting her nod, ever since she had left hours earlier.
"Nothing."
"Really?" Maggie seemed amused by his claim. "Looked like something."
"We're going to be working together." He excused. "We're figuring out how to co-exist."
"You can do that without the hand holding and the longing looks."
Connor's eyes narrowed briefly. Only Maggie could get away with delving into his personal life like this, and she knew it. Even if he had objected to it before, with everything she was going through, he couldn't do that now.
"Honestly, I don't know what's going on." He admitted. "We're talking a little, but she's not easy to get hold of right now."
"What's she saying?"
"Not as much as I'd like her to."
"Can you blame her?"
"Not really."
Maggie watched him for a moment. "What do you want, Connor?"
"What?"
"What do you want?" She repeated the question. "You keep saying that the two of you are getting on, but is that all it is? Colleagues? Friends?"
He considered his response for a moment, knowing Maggie wouldn't accept a non-answer. It wasn't an easy question for him to answer. "I want her in my life."
"In what capacity?"
"Whatever she's happy with, I guess."
He noted the curiosity in the nurse's gaze. "So it's all on her?"
"What do you mean?"
Maggie didn't seem to like what he had said. "You think she'll let you back in without you taking any responsibility?"
"For what?"
Maggie let out a frustrated sigh. " You blew up your relationship with her and it led to you accusing her of murder."
"I apologised."
"You accused her of murder." Maggie repeated the statement as if hearing it again would help him understand. "An apology won't cut it."
"I know she didn't do it."
"That doesn't change that you thought she had. It doesn't change that the only reason you know that now is because it was proven to you. You think you had problems trusting her, you can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be for her to trust you again."
As much as he wanted to object, Connor knew that he couldn't. It made sense. He'd spoken to her twice since she had come back to town. Twice. As willing as she had been to talk to him, she'd never made any attempt to share her new number with him, had never called him from it. What little they had addressed that night at Molly's had been relatively minor stuff compared to everything else that had happened. She didn't trust him any more, and it hurt to accept that she didn't really have much reason to.
"I don't even know where to start."
Maggie's face softened, and he could tell she was taking pity on him. "You have to talk about everything, find a way to learn to trust each other. If you want to have a chance at even a friendship, you need to have some painful conversations, and you need to be there for her during the fallout."
"She doesn't really want to talk about everything that happened." He felt the need to explain. "I have to wait until she's ready."
"You do." Maggie agreed. "On certain subjects. She's not the only one that has issues that need addressing though, is she? You need to take a look at your own baggage. You didn't just one day decide not to trust her, Connor. You've struggled on that front as long as I've known you."
She was right again. She had a habit of being right.
"What does that have to do with taking responsibility?"
"It wasn't only her issues that destroyed your relationship, Connor. It was yours too. Own it."
-Ghosts-
Ava frowned, watching her sister from across the room as she scrolled endlessly through channels on the TV. They'd been talking just minutes before, but, as with every other time she had attempted to bring the subject up, Ava had been shut down the second she mentioned Blake. Chloe refused to talk about him, and it was something that concerned her.
It wasn't fair, she knew that, but after what she had found out about Ella, she couldn't help but wonder. Chloe had said Blake would do anything for her, that she didn't even have to ask. But had she?
Years ago she would have said no, of course Chloe didn't ask, but her sister was no longer the teenager she had been separated from, she was an adult that had learned to fend for herself a long time ago. An adult that Ava didn't know as well as she would like to claim she did. An adult that would do anything, it seemed, for her family.
"Guys, I'm back!"
Ava stood at the sound of her brother's voice, noting that Chloe herself had barely reacted to the intrusion. It unnerved her.
She moved to the doorway, leaning on the frame as she watched her brother kick off his shoes. As soon as he looked up, his smile fell.
"What's wrong?"
Ava let out a sigh, glancing back at Chloe before nodding towards stairs before heading up them.
Matty followed her, pausing only for a moment at the door to the first bedroom after spying his son's sleeping form.
"What's up?"
"I'm probably going to sound paranoid. Maybe a little crazy."
"We're all a little crazy." Matty shrugged. "What is it?"
Ava looked back towards the door, then focused on her brother. "Do you think Chloe asked Blake to..."
"No." Matty hadn't needed her to finish her question. "You're right, that is crazy. Why would you think that? I mean, it's Chloe, she couldn't pronounce the word 'spaghetti' until she was ten."
Ava let out a laugh at the memory, despite it's irrelevance. "She won't talk about him. Whenever I ask she gets defensive. I think there's something she doesn't want us to know."
"It's Chloe, Mads." Matty reminded her. "She's not capable."
"Up until last week, I would have said the same about Ella."
He frowned. "What's she got to do with anything?"
"She tried to kill dad." Ava decided to be blunt, it was better than dragging it out. "Might have succeeded."
"Who told you that?"
Ava sighed. "Uncle John. Last week. He didn't seem to want to, but I guess I still ask too many questions."
"She was nine when that bastard croaked." He seemed sceptical.
"Yeah, and she tried to sabotage his treatment before he did."
Matty paused for a moment, taking in the information before he shrugged. "She was nine and messed up." Another pause. "And he deserved it."
"It doesn't bother you at all?"
"Nope." Matty confirmed. "And murder isn't genetic, Chloe's fine."
"She's not." Ava corrected him. "She may not have done anything wrong but she's not fine. She's traumatised."
Matty nodded, agreeing. "We manage. We always have."
"I'm not sure Ella ever did."
"We're not Ella."
They fell into an uncomfortable silence, ignoring the unintended suggestion that he had made – Ella wasn't their problem any more. She'd chosen that herself.
"How did your appointment go?"
If Matty minded the abrupt subject change, he didn't verbalise that. "Fine. Probably not going to have many more to go to."
Ava nodded. "That's good."
"Had a nice chat with your boyfriend, too."
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly. "Boyfriend?"
"Yeah, ran into him when I got there." Matty elaborated, the grin on his face irritating her. "He said he saw you this morning."
"Yeah." Ava confirmed, knowing there was no use denying anything that her brother was saying. He'd been referring to Connor as her 'boyfriend' ever since he had met him the week before.
"He wanted me to ask you something."
"Okay."
"Wanted to know if it would be okay with you if he came to the trial."
"Why?" Her brow furrowed as the strange request confused her.
"He said he wants to be there for you, but only if you..."
"MADDIE!"
They both turned at the interruption, and within a second were hurrying back down the stairs in the direction of their sister's yell, their uncle meeting them as he too went to find out what had happened.
"What happened?"
The alarm in her eyes wasn't matched in Chloe's, who, despite her yelling, was remarkably calm.
The younger woman nodded towards the TV. "What's Necrotizing Fasciitis?"
