Obaama and Jet stared at eachother for what felt like days because it was.

"Uhhhhh, let me be perfectly clear," said Obama turning invisible.

"oh guess he evaporated" said jet, leaving

The battle is over.

"Actually, Im uhhhhh fine" Obama said, taking off his invisibility.

"oh good i get paid by the hour" said Jet, hoping for something actually interesting to happen in his life again

"Do you get, uhhhhhhh, healthcare benefits? Because you can go to Healthcare dot gov and sign up for free healthcare under Obamacare. Because Obama Cares" Obama winks at the camera.

"no but i do only get paid a little less than minimum wage" said Jet, looking at the camera to find out what obama was winking at

The camera was not expecting this much attention today. It is now anxious yet flattered

Obama licks the camera but just a little bit.

"Alright," He raises his fists, "Lets duke it out '20s style."

"Is the licking part of the '20s style because the last time I got licked it was a disaster for everyone involved" said jet just before interru"also I dont have a tounge"pting the narrator because he is a rude boy.

"Sorry, the licking was a part of a bit we do here on The Obama Tales" Obama points to his tongue for emphasis. Obama patiently waits for the narrator to finish describing what he is doing, "If, uhhhhhhh, you don't have a tongue, that can still be covered by Obamacare" Obama added, always seeking to plug healthcare.

Then something truly scary happened. Readers who are faint of heart should look away. Squeak Buttigeg launched a SURPRISE ATTACK!

"SURPRISE ATTACK? Why didn't I know about this?!" said Jet with his stomach for some reason. "I can handle Obama myself, I'm already winning!" he continued, having still not taken or given a single attack.

Buttigeg squeaks menacingly at them both.

"Begone, foul beast" Obama almost slapped the rat, but then wondered if it had rabies or something and that would be bad, "Uhhhhh, maybe you should fight it since you are metal and cannot get rabies" said Obama who was not scared guys. But he was the 44th President.

"What? Shouldn't that healthcare you keep prattling on about cover it? Is the wittle 44th President of the United States afraid to get a boo boo shot?" said Jet before noticing the rat gnawing on his wallet.

"HEY!" screamed Jet with the ferocity of someone who needed something built in Lego City, "Where did you get that!? I don't know where I keep that! I don't even have money but the principle of the matter is too insulting to let slide!" said Jet who is not rich enough to be paid.

Obama stuck a needle (vaccine, not drugs, so all of you concerned mothers do not need to worry, because Obama says no to drugs, except cool ones like CRACK) in his arm to become invincible to Rabies. "Ok time to die" he said. The president reached into the camera, and his hand came out of your computer/phone/tablet screen and into your room. Quick! Choose an item to give to Obama! Obama takes your:

A - Gun

B - Knife

C - Frying Pan

D - Broken bottle

E - Pen (like John Wick)

F - Rainbow Keyboard

G - Miniature Delorean Plushie from Back To the Future tm

H - Actual Delorean from real life

I - Playstation 3 controller

J - Crash Team Racing Incense Machine

K - Copy of the Hit 1997 film Face/Off starring Nicolas Cage

L - Pillow

M - Bible

N - Katana

O - bama

P - Shoe

Q - One of those toys where its a T- Rex and you can make the mouth move by squeezing the trigger

R - Sweatpants

S - Guitar or other musical instrument

T - Ark of the Covenant

U - Anime Girl figure (Weeb lol)

V - Anime Obama figure(Nice.)

W - Your arm which you cut off to give to Obama, lest he cut it off for you

X - Skateboard

Y - Wallet with money for Jet

Z - Two (2) pieces of Cannnnnddyyyyyyyyyyyyy

By the time you make your selection, Jet has already lightly smacked the rat, killing him instantly. Obama still has your item. He will not give it back.

"Yeah turns out he only looks scary. This guy kinda just sucks, thought I was scared enough to rig an election instead of fighting him" said Jet! unwittingly sending a gutpunch from across the netherrealm

Muffled "Now I get to be the giant rat, Cool, Surprise" in the distance.

"Huh" Obama said, "Wonder if that will come up later" Then he turned to Jet!. "Now, where were we?"

"Chicago, right outside the IHOP" said Jet as a single pea tried to gnaw at his foot. "I'm gonna need you to not do that."

"Oh sorry" said the pea, growing three legs and walking away

Obama did a cool backflip. "I'm about to do my secret Obama technique!" He rotated his legs rapidly to propel him towards Jet at incredibly Hnnnnngg speeds. But he was too fast and missed his target, smacking into the iHop window.

"Owbama" he said, getting up again.

Jet did a Hot frontflip. "Two can play at that game!" He used his rocket boosters to propel himself into the IHOP window at Hnnnnnnng speeds as well.

"I WIN. I WAS FASTER."

Obama who was observing the month of Ramadan, knew that he was in fact FAST-er. Except for the pea he ate last chapter, and also it wasn't Ramadan, and also Obama is not really a muslim. Obama knew that he was actually not faster.

"I agree, you are, uhhhh faster" Obama conceded. "But let us see, who is figher-er"

"If you insist!" Jet punches a nearby wall and does not say ow "Scared yet?"

"No, I am very brave, I uhhhhh, am only afraid of spiders, but even then I overcame that fear when I defeated George Zimmerman!" Obama stood bravely. He then punched the wall and it SHATTERED like glass. Obamas hand was bleeding but he dont say nothing. But on the inside he cried from the hurt.

"Ow" said the wall

"I see, impressive. But can you overcome….THIS?" Jet picks up a really big rock and puts a spider on it and throws it at Obama

"AAAAaaAAAH" says the spider

"AaaAAAAAAAH" says the rock

"AAAAaaaaaaAH" says the Obama.

The rock hit him and he fell over. "Wow, I haven't been this stoned since Woodstock"

Obama looked towards the studio audience but got no chuckles from them. He turned his head down, disappointed.

Jet winks at the studio audience, exactly one guy says "BOO YOU STINK" said the guy. Jet throws a slightly smaller rock with a slightly smaller spider on it at him.

"Slightly smaller AAAAaaAAAH" says the spider

"Slightly smallerAaaAAAAAAAH" says the rock

The guy gets a concussion.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Obama Shouts, and all of the studio audience members pick up food and start throwing them about. One pie hits Jet in the face and he becomes a pie boy.

"I, uhhhhh, hope you're not allergic to pie" Obama said, "I know that allergies can be a pain, and serious business"

"oh no I'm allergic to robot" said the pie as it died.

"Pie in the sky" Obama whispers as the angel of the Pie flys up to heaven. A tear runs down his cheek (the one on his face).

"Pie in my eye" said jet wiping pie-corpse from his face.

"MURDERER" Obama SHOUTED, whipping out his Tactical Assault AK-47, and unleashing a hailstorm of Bullets at JET.

"But you're the one who thre- the bullets did not care what Jet had to say to them. Obama has mastered the sacred art of Gun Control and his bullets would not be distracted

"What will you do now?" Obama chuckled, "In less than one second, my bullets will hit you, and then YOU will be a large metal Swiss Cheese who also can talk! Any last words, before my bullets make contact with your metal flesh?"

"As if your puny bullets would ever harm ME, they are METAL, JUST LIKE ME, WE ARE FAMILY AND WILL BECOME ONE" said Jet in less than a second somehow

Suddenly, a smoke bomb goes off. The sky darkens, like Obama. A booming, yet charming, voice shouts "SURRENDER, EVILDOERS. THIS PRESIDENTIAL PILGRIMAGE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!"

A shadowy figure emerges from the smoke, revealing Captain Q who had caught exactly one bullet with his arm which was a dinosaur but not real one like one of those little toys where you squeeze the handle and it closes the mouth and you can grab things with it ya know not a real dinosaur that would be ridiculous

"Ow" said large metal swiss cheese who also can talk "Oh, great. It's you…"

"Unforeseeable Assault!" Obama Screamed as the new challenger approached him "How was I uniformed of this development? And more importantly, how were you informed of our battle?!"

"I was informed of this calamitous commotion by my faithful ally, this small round vegetable!" Banged Captain Q with his gun and also of his mouth but like the dinosaur one as he confronted Obama. He raises his hand to show everybody his new sidekick, Captain P.

Obama ate a single Captain P. "check please"

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Obams crunched P. "Woah two robots, how will I deal with this?" Obama chuckled, "You already know don't you" he said as he began to undergo Mitosis (Thanks Mr. T (My Biology teacher not the guy from the A team) for teaching me about Mitosis), forming TWO obamas.

"Did someone order the 44th US President?" said Obama

"Can you make that TWO TERMS?" said different Obama

"This is getting out of hand! This malicious multiplication must cease at once!" said Captain Q as he unleashed a Mitotic inhibitor from his utility dinosaur. A mitotic inhibitor is a drug that inhibits mitosis, or cell division. These drugs disrupt microtubules, which are structures that pull the chromosomes apart when a cell divides. Mitotic inhibitors are used in cancer treatment, because cancer cells are able to grow and eventually spread through the body (metastasize) through continuous mitotic division. Thus, cancer cells are more sensitive to inhibition of mitosis than normal cells. Mitotic inhibitors are also used in cytogenetics (the study of chromosomes), where they stop cell division at a stage where chromosomes can be easily examined.[1]

Mitotic inhibitors are derived from natural substances such as plant alkaloids, and prevent cells from undergoing mitosis by disrupting microtubule polymerization, thus preventing cancerous growth. Microtubules are long, ropelike proteins that extend through the cell and move cellular components around. Microtubules are long polymers made of smaller units (monomers) of the protein tubulin. Microtubules are created during normal cell functions by assembling (polymerizing) tubulin components, and are disassembled when they are no longer needed. One of the important functions of microtubules is to move and separate chromosomes and other components of the cell for cell division (mitosis). Mitotic inhibitors interfere with the assembly and disassembly of tubulin into

microtubule polymers. This interrupts cell division, usually during the mitosis (M) phase of the cell cycle when two sets of fully formed chromosomes are supposed to separate into daughter cells.[2][3]

Examples of mitotic inhibitors frequently used in the treatment of cancer include paclitaxel, docetaxel, vinblastine, vincristine, and vinorelbine.[1] Colchicine and griseofulvin are mitotic inhibitors used in the treatment of gout and toenail fungus, respectively.

I dont think my biology teacher taught me that i just found it on wikipedia. We have now learned something from The Obama Tales.

"I'm, uhhhhh, not reading all of that" The first Obama said, inhibited.

"I think, uhhhhhh, to paraphrase, we can no longer undergo mitosis to create new Obamas" said the second Obama, not hibited.

"But what if there are more robots? We will be outnumberd?" said first Obama still non hibited.

"Wait, I have an idea," said the second Obama, who had a lightbulb appear over his head, "If we fuse we will be twice as strong!"

"Great, uhhhhhhdea" said Obama who was now one, and also stronger.

"Quickly Old Chum! We must use the FRIENDSHIP BLAST! The symbolic might of our emotional bond will surely outweigh that of his physical bond with himself!" banged Captain Q but not with his gun this time to Jet.

"We're not friends." said Jet

"But-

"I don't like you."

Captain Q was now sad. He pouted with his screen face and activated a smoke bomb but he angled it wrong so everybody saw him walk away. It was really embarrassing. Toodeloo.

"Toodeloo indeed" a tear ran down Obamas face.

Obama also then turned to Jet. "You are too rude my dude! You are a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me!" Obama launched a kick at Jet, now at 2x strongth.

"We'll see about that!" said Jet(rude) as he takes the full force of Obama's 2x strongth kick directly to the face sending him flying across the block but he still sees it as a win because he technically "touched" obama even though that's not really what he meant

"You foooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooool!" Jet(he's jet he's got he's rude) shouted with a giant gaping hole in his head but its fine because he's a robot "This world's been 'rude' to me from the moment I got here! My rude 'tude is the source of my power!" he says unleashing a laser beam composed of pure (Rude)

"It's also the only thing i have left" he says frowning at his chewed up wallet

O=Bama screamed "Ahh laser beams! My weakness!" he flew backwards, hitting a telephone pole. "Owww, that uhhhhhhh, could have been worse" he said with a giant gaping hole in his head but its fine because he has Obamacare. "That was a neat trick, but wait until

Jet didn't wait. He's already flying at you obama look out

Obama did an uncanny dodge "Woah, you almost got me, but I can type faast too, just watch ijplefsalf;jadskjladshjdsgashjk;lfah;kgdsakhlFSK; ;KLHADSKH;LH;KDFSK; .ADSKNMFSM;SFJKDADSJ;KLGJ;LAKGJDGE" tHAT was the sound of Obama using his screech, which has the power to shatter glass.

"Ow" said the glass as it shattered, falling directly towards Jet.

Jet dodges the glass with his rocket boosters, until eventually taking a punch from Obamas because he was too distracted by not only the glass but also the fact that he was jealous that Obamas can type so fast with his mouth hole. He doesn't have a mouth hole. He wondered what it was like and took another hit, giving him a mouth hole.

"Ow" said Obama who just punched a Robot who was metal and was also had several holes including a mouth hole.

"Now, uhhhhhhh, you must submit, or face seven more layers of my presidential wrath" Obama said panting because he was also tired from the time he screamed and also the time he punched.

"I only submit to those that can pay me!" Jet said with his new mouth hole, forgetting the name of his employer. "I don't like Coomsplurge either, but I need him for my rent!"

"Did somebody mention MONEY?" The Ghost of Andrew Yang floated over and gave Jet 1,000 dollars. "Yang Gang forever" he said as he disappeared into the ethereal plane, his One Joke truly complete.

"Oh wow, that'll cover the... week." said Jet chewing on the dollars with his new mouth hole so they'd match his wallet. "Still, I'm gonna need this paycheck too, and I-" a timer goes off "...don't get paid overtime. Alright, you're off the hook." said Jet, flying away

"Oh, ok, see you tomorrow" Obama waved goodbye

And that's the tale of the Christmas Creatine