In which Alison recounts her captivity


Barely had Optimus and I spoken, Arcee hustled over and had Bumblebee set me and Mikaela down. Cogman joined in the fussing, scolding me for pulling my IV off its hook (I hadn't even noticed it until he pointed it out) while Arcee ran scans over me. Burton and Viviane came out and introductions were made before Burton invited everyone to one of the sitting rooms. The cybertronians shifted back to their alt modes and used their holos to walk inside with us. In the sitting room, Cogman sat me on one of the couches, replaced my IV and set the stand behind me. He also put a lap tray with finger sandwiches, juice, and tissues on my lap with the instruction to eat. Once he moved away, Bee and Mikaela latched themselves to my side, and I likewise held onto them. I was almost overwhelmed that they were there. They were with me. I was home.

N-Sync, Copper, Bandit and Riser sat together on one of the other couches, while Burton and Viviane took up armchairs nearby but out of the way. Optimus, Arcee and Will came over to us, and Arcee gave me a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're okay. When Cade and I found Bee in the river, with you and Asami no where to be found, we feared the worst."

The river. The attack. The farm. "My family, are they all?-"

"Everyone's fine," Bee assured me, squeezing my hand as Arcee stepped back. "Scraped knees and elbows, some minor burns, and your uncle Ben got a concussion from hitting his head, but they're all fine."

I felt some tears start to leak out, and I didn't bother wiping them away for the moment. "Thank Primus. I couldn't live with myself if anyone had gotten-" I couldn't finish, but they all understood. I couldn't.

"The actions of the Decepticons are never your fault, Alison," Optimus tried to assure me, but I shook my head.

"I insisted on going up for the Fourth, even though it would have been easy and safer to say I was too busy with work to go up. I knew the danger, but didn't even think about it, and this happened. If I just..." I trailed off, choking up even as Mikaela and Bee wrapped me tight in their arms.

"You can't beat yourself up over this, Alison," Bee said, kissing my temple. "It is not your fault. It's not."

I hiccuped a chuckled and wiped my eyes. "Too late, Bee. I've had over a week to internalize this guilt. Maybe once I see everyone is okay, it'll lighten up, but I doubt it." I looked around for a change in topic, and noticed a couple of COTA guys messing with something by the TV with a camera and a laptop. "What's that about?"

The adults looked over. "It's for the debriefing," Will said. "We wanted to find out what happened as soon as possible, but we also thought you might not want to explain more than once, so we're setting up a secure video link to go over it."

I had a sudden flashback to the second movie, and glanced over at N-Sync. "There's a zero percent chance that Soundwave could be hacking into the military satellite to hear this meeting, right?"

N-Sync looked up and nodded. "After the mess I made of the Nemesis security and the spacebridge, he'll be sorting that out for another couple of days, at least. Plus, Jazz and I will be working together to encrypt this, so anyone trying to look in will need to break through a double layer of security. No one will be listening in unless they have an ear to the door, and Cogman will probably take care of that."

"I certainly will, and I will force feed you if you don't eat, my lady," Cogman said, and I laughed.

That made me feel better, and I relaxed. As I ate the sandwiches, Mikaela, Bee, Arcee, Will and Optimus began telling me some of what went on while I was away, like how freaked out Sam had been upon meeting the 'Bots properly, while Mikey wanted to ask a hundred and one questions, that Aunt Josephine, Carol Lancaster, and Ella got on like a house on fire, Spike was hanging out with Jolt, Uncle Sparkplug was enabling Wheeljack and Ratchet was exhausted. I could feel each piece of news settling into me like water flavoring into a bottle. A part of home, and I'd be seeing them all again soon.

The tech guys finished their set up, and the TV showed a split screen for a video call. "We're ready when you are, Director," one said, looking to me.

I glanced at the TV, the camera set up, and at the people around me. Mikaela and Bee squeezed my hands, and Will and Optimus gave me their most comforting smiles. I took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's get started."

Optimus and Will sat down as the guy at the laptop typed something, and the TV changed to show it was connecting. A few seconds later, the left side of the screen contained Moreshower and Keller, while the right had a whole crowd, most noticeably in front being my parents.

"Alison!" Mom said, reaching out like she wanted to touch me. Tears started to fall down her cheeks, and mine as well.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. Everyone." I could see Uncle Sparkplug and his family, the Base Brats and their parents, the hatchlings, the Lancasters, Aunt Starry, Simmons, Ella and all the 'Bots there as well. And Galloway. Oh, I almost didn't want to know why he was there. Don't cause shit, asshole, please.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Dad asked.

"I'm fine, Dad. Nothing time, rest and good food won't fix." And therapy, but I was placing that on a back burner for the moment. "How are you holding up?"

"We'll be fine once you're back home safe," Mom said. "Though I don't think we'll be going to another family reunion any time soon."

I chuckled wetly at the weak joke. "Yeah, that might be a good idea."

"You're really okay, Alison?" Miles asked.

"We've all been really worried about you." Meghan asked, sitting in her dad's arms so she could see easily, Rascal in her own.

"I promise, I'm fine." I did my best to reassure them. "I do hope you and the others have been well behaved while I was gone."

"Of course!" She puffed up her chest.

"We knew you'd want us to be good, Momma," Rascal said. "So we were good."

"We miss you, Momma," Escapade said. "When will you be home?"

"Soon, probably tomorrow, day after at the latest," I glanced at Will, who nodded in confirmation.

"We'll be glad to have you back, Alison," Elita said, then turned to the crowd. "Okay, you've all seen her, now go back to bed. It's much too early or late for half of you to be up. Shoo." She waved her servos a couple of times, and with a collective groan, everyone except my parents, Miles, COTA leadership, and Arcee and Barricade left. The humans who stayed all sat in chairs, while the Bots gathered up behind them.

I looked to the left side of the screen, wiping my eyes with the tissues. "Sorry for making you wait, Mr Secretary, General."

"It's alright, Alison," Keller said. "You might be sick of hearing it, but we are very glad you are safe now."

I smiled. "Trust me, sir, after what I went through, I don't think I can ever be sick of it."

"This will be hard, but we need you to tell us what happened," Moreshower said. "Everything from when you were attacked to your return to Earth."

I nodded, and a glance to the right showed all the extra people were at least off screen, if not gone. I took a deep breath, reached back for a comforting touch from the AllSpark, and started speaking.

"Well, Asami had asked me to come on a drive with her, to talk about something. She was getting ready to tell me it when Starscream attacked us. He jammed the comms just after that, so it was just me, Asami and Bee, trying to avoid Starscream's bombardment. He blew up a bridge, so we had to stop suddenly, and Bumblebee transformed to give Asami and I time to run, only for Asami to stop me and shift from her alt mode to her mech mode. She knocked Bumblebee into stasis with some kind of shock, talked with Starscream a minute when he landed, then shocked me unconscious. I next woke up in a cage on the Decepticons' transport."

"You say Asami shifted?" Will asked. "You don't mean her car?"

"No, well, and yes." I took a deep breath. "Asami never existed. This whole time, she's been NBE 3 in disguise. Her real name is Ebonspark, a member of Megatron's inner circle."

"What!?" several people said, looking at me shocked.

"No, that can't be," Mikaela said. "Holos aren't that realistic."

"I've known her since she was a kid," Simmons added. "Nothing ever suggested she was anything but a normal girl."

"They are that realistic when you spend over thirty years perfecting it," I said. "She had time to observe what humans were like and emulate them. And if no one ever suspected her of being non-human, who were they to question her on the slightly odd things?"

"But how was she never discovered?" Galloway asked. "A Decepticon, hiding on the base for months. Surely someone would have noticed something."

"Not if she kept her EMF clamped tight," Barricade said. "Ebonspark is the one cybertronian who is better at that than me, and the only femme who could ever kick my ass." He shook his helm. "We guessed she was involved in the attack from Bumblebee's injuries, but this…."

"We never suspected she could be here until recently," Prowl said, placing a servo on his brother's shoulder. "Last we knew, she had remained on Cybertron."

"Seemed like the Cons did too, judging from their reactions," I said.

"What happened when you woke up, Alison?" Optimus asked.

"Ebonspark was there, and told me about being Asami, and Kasumi Sato too, and confessed to being the one to kill Wreckage and the S7 agents trying to catch him. Starscream came, taunted me, I taunted back, and he left. Ebonspark then forced me to bring Frenzy back to life."

"Frenzy? That little anklebiter?" Simmons asked. "I unloaded four rounds into that thing's chest after it cut its own head off."

"I thought he got taken apart along with the rest of the 'Cons," Ironhide asked, looking to Ratchet.

"Do you expect a minicon symbiote's parts to be useful for anyone aside from Rascal and X-Cat? I decided it would be better to just keep him together in his box and only take him apart as needed."

"He wasn't even in the box," I said. "Ebonspark stole him right after the attack and fixed him up the best she could. That's where the missing medbay parts and tools were going, to her repair efforts. She couldn't get him to reactivate, so she basically blackmailed me into doing it for her by saying I owed her a life for sparing Bumblebee's."

"Did you revive any other Decepticons?" Galloway asked. "Or heal any of them?"

"No. There are certain circumstances that allow the AllSpark to bring someone back, a combination of time and how many bonds they had with people still living. Frenzy had four or five bonds linking him to life, so he could be brought back. No one came to me for healing either."

"What happened after you revived Frenzy?" Ella asked, getting us back on track. I took a sip of juice before continuing.

"Ebonspark took Frenzy somewhere and left me alone with some food and a couple different drinks. After a while, we landed on some distant planet where the Decepticons' flagship and base, the Nemesis, had crashed. I was presented to Megatron like a trophy, then Megatron presented me to the Decepticon army…" I paused and took a deep breath. "And to his master, The Fallen."

That had an immediate effect among the bots, even Cade, Arcee and Bee, who already knew. The sisters did a Tessa cross, while Prowl's doorwings went back and Wheeljack's earfins flashed. The rest invented deeply and Optimus got a dark look on his face. The humans, except Miles and Simmons, looked confused, and Moreshower was the one who asked the obvious question. "Who is the Fallen?"

"A figure out of ancient history," Optimus said. "He was one of the original Primes, who long ago betrayed his brothers and sisters and was sealed away for all time. His name was scourged from history, and he became a boogieman of sparkling stories."

"Could this be a Decepticon pretending to be the Fallen?" Lindsey asked. "Someone taking advantage of the myth."

I shook my head. "No, he's the real deal. He called the AllSpark 'Mother' and She confirmed he was Her son. And his presence, it's- it's impossible to replicate. The closest I can think is if Optimus got really really angry, and even then he couldn't match it." I shuddered, and Mikaela started rubbing my back.

"So you're saying the Decepticons have their own version of Prime?" Galloway asked.

"Optimus is nothing like the Fallen!" The comparison almost made me sick. "They share a heritage, but that is all. The Fallen is twisted, and mad, and evil. The things he has done…." I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"What happened next, Alison?" Arcee asked.

"The Fallen talked to me, revealing why he ordered me kidnapped. It wasn't just to take the AllSpark's power. In fact, in the Fallen's eyes, the AllSpark is weak and feeble. He wants to restore Her power to the levels She had when the Primes were first created, and he is willing to sacrifice any and all life to this goal. He developed a machine called the Star Harvester, which can steal the energy of a star to feed to the AllSpark, at the cost of that star being destroyed."

"Those were real?" Wheeljack asked, his headfins glowing blue with curiosity. "I had thought they were myths that I just based the Suncatcher on."

"They were very real, and once plentiful," Optimus said. "The Primes made liberal use of them during their reign, but only on star systems that didn't host life. That was the Fallen's betrayal, trying to harvest the sun of a life bearing world."

"And you will never guess what world he wanted to harvest," I said, attempting a sardonic smile. "It was Earth, almost twenty thousand years ago. Unfortunately for him, the other Primes of the Seven accompanied him for this scouting and refused to let him build the Harvester. He ordered his minions to fight his siblings and constructed the Harvester himself, but before he could use it, the activation key was stolen. The other Primes sealed the key into a relic called the Matrix of Leadership, then sacrificed their lives to seal the Fallen away in a sarcophagus, and to hide the Matrix somewhere on Earth. The Fallen's seekers spent years looking for it, but could never find it."

"But the AllSpark can access the knowledge of Her children who return to Her," Prowl said. "So She knows where the Matrix is."

I nodded. "And so the Fallen thought I would know as well, and tried to dig through my brain to find it."

"What did he do to you, Alison?" Ratchet asked, very worried.

"Nothing physical. None of the 'Cons did, except for Frenzy scratching me up a bit right after being revived. The atmosphere of the planet wasn't breathable to humans, so if the seal on my cage or cell were breached, I would have died, and the Fallen didn't want that. Instead, he used a really forceful telepathy, like legilimency from Harry Potter. He tried to make me think about the Matrix, to show him the location. I had to basically lead him through a random stream of consciousness for some time before the AllSpark managed to expel him. I threw up afterwards, and had a massive migraine. He tried again, and the AllSpark kicked him out again, so he ordered that I be taken to my cell and he'd try again the next day."

"Oh God!" Mom said, the look of horror she'd had since I started speaking deepening, and Dad squeezed her closer to his side.

"When I got to my cell, my guard took a while to show up, though since they had video surveillance and obviously I couldn't escape by myself, they weren't worried. Turns out they should have, cause N-Sync had taken over security monitoring while Soundwave was finishing the job of fixing Frenzy and reestablishing their bond. She delayed the guard, and Bandit came to my cell through the vents and explained that there was an escape plan in the works, and handed me some vitamins to help me hold out against the AllSpark cannibalizing my body."

"The AllSpark what?" Elita asked.

"It was something Ratchet theorized, that just carrying the AllSpark requires a lot of energy, so if I don't get enough calories, then my body will eat itself to provide it. The 'Cons were planning on only feeding me two cheap freezer lunches a day, with a gallon jug of water. That's why I got this." I jiggled the IV tubing slightly.

"I've scanned her, and she's starting to recover," Arcee said. "Upping her daily calorie intake and some physical therapy should get her back to where she was before this happened."

"You are getting a full examination when you get here, Alison," Ratchet said, his tone brooking no arguments, which I had none anyway.

"Of course. So, Bandit left, the guard showed up with my dinner, and the next few days were a routine. Wake up, get breakfast, Megatron would take me to the Fallen and he'd try to find the Matrix information, I'd go back to my cell, wait for dinner and try to make my migraine go away, eat, then sleep. Every other day, Bandit would show up to check on me and generally keep me from going isolation crazy, since none of my guards would talk to me. Then, I think a week into my 'stay', Megatron switched the routine by taking me to see that hatchlings the 'Cons were taking care of."

"They really do have hatchlings?" Ironhide asked. "Are they trying to make them soldiers?"

"Were they healthy?" Ratchet asked.

"Soldiers, no, not as far as I could tell. They sparred, but it was like Escapade and Dispensor's sparring. And yes, they were healthy, even happy. I think he wanted me to think I was dooming them to be the last generation or something, so it'd be easier for the Fallen to track the Matrix, though I managed to avoid that. That was also the day I met Cogman." I glanced up at the 'Bot behind me, who waved at the people on screen. "My new guard, Nitro, had this Autobot helm he'd taken as a battle trophy, and he insisted on telling me about. Bandit showed up and he spotted her, but luckily before he could call anyone, Cogman revealed himself, ripped Nitro's head off, and took over his body."

"You ripped a 'Con's head off?" Miles asked.

"What, like it's hard?" Cogman asked. "I'm a Headmaster, we're naturally tougher than the average mech, and I am above average." I think he flexed a bit, but I didn't look back to see.

"After Cogman explained who he was and how he survived as a head, Bandit told him to get in contact with N-Sync about the escape plan, then left, while Cogman used his holo to disguise himself as Nitro. After Cogman's shift ended, I didn't see either of them for three days. On the fourth day, the Fallen tried a different tactic, trying to appeal to the AllSpark directly. She refused him, and he got so pissed off he didn't even try to follow my train of thought, but just dug through my brain for the Matrix's location. When the AllSpark and I threw him out this time, he ordered that my food rations be cut entirely, to try and starve the answer out of me, and sent me back to my cell. Bandit showed up and when I told her what was happening, she decided it was time to put the plan into action."

"How did you escape?" Will asked.

"Cogman came and temporarily replaced my guard, while Riser went and kidnapped a 'Con called the Pretender. She has the ability to change her appearance to look like a human."

Simmons jerked his head up and actually growled. "That bitch."

"Old friend?" Ironhide asked.

"The night my father died, I saw a robot who transformed into a woman run into a building after him, which was then blown up by a helicopter, and only it came out. They fled before S7 showed up, so it couldn't be confirmed they were NBEs, but I always knew deep down they were."

"If it helps at all, Simmons," Bandit spoke for the first time since we started, "I'm pretty certain she's been beaten to Pit and back for allowing Riser to overpower her and knock her out."

"It actually does a little, thank you." He sat back, though he still had a dark look on his face.

"I assume the Pretender was used as a decoy to cover your escape," Prowl said.

I nodded. "Bandit triggered her transformation so she looked like me, then they dumped her in my cot before helping me get in a space suit they'd gotten, and led me out into the vents. The original plan was to get to where N-Sync had set up base, wait for Cogman, activate the spacebridge, then sneak out and through it as quickly as possible before anyone realized we were gone, but just before we reached N-Sync, Ravage, another of Soundwave's symbiotes, caught us, and sounded the alarm."

"What is a spacebridge?" Keller asked.

"A portal, basically," I said, before Wheeljack could jump into a line of technobabble. "It uses extradimensional space to transport stuff across lightyears, or something like that. The Fallen is able to make them, and set one up for the 'Cons, else the trip from the Nemesis to Earth is like, ten years or something. N-Sync set a program to rig it that the first person or group to enter it would end up here, while any pursuers would end up scattered across the stars, hence the need for a speedy escape. N-Sync managed to jam the 'Cons communications before our location was alerted, and Cogman joined us as fast as he could, but it was still tight getting out, we were almost caught a couple times. Soundwave eventually broke through, but luckily by that time, we were almost out and N-Sync was able to stuff me into her cockpit before taking off like a bat out of hell for the spacebridge. We made it, and landed here at Folgen. When Burton and Viviane came to investigate, I got out of N-Sync to speak to them, and I'm guessing the adrenaline drop after the escape, going back to breathing regular air after breathing oxygen enriched air, and general weakness from the captivity cause me to pass out, cause the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a bed with Viviane watching over me."

There was of course plenty I left out; the mind control, Quintus, most of the personal stuff with Ebonspark, anything relating to the Jump. I'd arrange an Inner Circle meeting as soon as I could to explain those details. I think Mikaela was trying to cut the circulation to my fingers with how tightly she was holding my hand, and Bee wasn't far behind, though he was a bit gentler cause my IV was on his side.

"Thank you, Alison," Keller said. "I know that was hard on you."

"Was there anything else you heard?" Prowl asked. "Anything regarding their next moves?"

I shook my head. "No one ever discussed anything like that around me, or if they did, I was in no state to process the information. N-Sync is your better bet as an inside source."

"I gladly offer whatever knowledge I have that can assist," N-Sync said.

"What's happened with COTA while I was gone?" I asked. No one had mentioned anything significant to me yet, and I wondered if there was a reason.

"You have no need to worry about it," Galloway said, and a fear started to trickle in. "The organization has been in good hands, and will continue to be as you recover."

"I won't need long," I said, cause I knew just whose hands COTA was currently in. "I won't be in the field for some time, but I should be able to start my office work in a few days."

"I'll be the judge of that," Ratchet reminded me.

"After such a traumatic experience, the most important thing is for you to recover safely and fully," Galloway said.

I wanted to argue some more, but something of Galloway's expression made me pause a moment. Like he wanted me to fight. "Alright, we'll table this until after Ratchet gives his exam." It hurt, but I couldn't give Galloway more ammo to try and pull COTA away from me. I couldn't.

Moreshower and Keller discussed something on their side, their mic muted so we didn't hear it, then looked back to the camera. "I believe that is all we need to know right now. We'll be expecting reports on what happened in the next few days, and reports on what we can do to combat the threats of Ebonspark and the Pretender."

I nodded. "Of course. Thank you Mr Secretary. General."

"We'll return to base by 1200 tomorrow, sir," Will said. "Our reports will be in as soon as possible after that."

"Thank you, Major," Keller said. He gave an official goodbye, then the camera on his and Moreshower's side turned off, and the base side expanded to fill the screen.

Galloway stood up. "As I am certain Alison needs more rest, we will let you go. Besides, it is still early here, and I would like a few more hours of sleep."

I did some quick mental math and my jaw dropped. "It's four in the morning for you guys."

"A bit closer to five now," Ella said, also standing, but with a smile. "Seeing you okay is very much worth losing a bit of sleep for, Alison."

"We'll see you when you get home," Dad said.

"Don't get yourself stolen again, AliSpark," Barricade said.

Bumblebee wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Nothing's taking her this time." I smiled and leaned into his embrace.

"See you tomorrow," I said, waving.

The base group waved and said goodbye back, then the screen when dark. Once it did, Bee's other arm went around my waist and he pulled me into his lap, nearly toppling my IV stand before Cogman caught it.

"Careful, young guardian," he said, rapping Bee on the top of his head before moving the stand to be next to the couch arm. "Lady Alison needs all her fluids, not less."

I was about to make a sarcastic comment on that when I felt Bee's EM field chill a bit, and I looked up to see his face screwed up. "Bee?"

"I'm sorry, Alison." He rested his head on top of mine. "I was supposed to protect you and I couldn't. I got taken down in one attack. I-" He paused. "You deserve a better protector."

"Don't you say that!" I pulled back and grabbed both sides of his face. "Asami- Ebonspark fooled all of us. She's one of Megatron's top lieutenants, and you heard Cade, she can beat him up, and she hit you with a sneak attack. We had no reason to suspect her, so we never did. Had she not betrayed us, we would have made it. It's her fault, or Starscream's, but never yours. Never yours." I pulled him down so his forehead touched mine, and he sighed.

"Okay. Okay." He left a soft peck on my lips and his EM warmed and softened. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"We both are," Mikaela said, scooting closer to us and placing my legs over her lap. I reached for her hand and squeezed it tight. She squeezed back.

"We should let you get some rest, Alison," Optimus said. I turned my head to speak, but he apparently read my mind, as next he said, "We will not discuss anything of import about COTA without you, but you are still recovering. You need to give yourself time for that."

He had a point, and I nodded. "Thank you, Optimus." I shifted to try and get up, but before I could get far, Bee slipped an arm under my knees and stood up, suddenly enough I yelped a bit as I wrapped my arm around his neck. I smacked his chest with my other hand. "Warn me next time, Bee."

"Sorry. I didn't want you to get up unless you had to." He kissed my temple, and I leaned into his hold.

"We'll send someone to check on you around dinnertime," Burton said, standing up. "For now, I have someone I think you would like to meet, Prime."

"I'll take them to Lady Alison's rooms," Cogman said, as Mikaela grabbed my IV stand.

"I'll see you all at dinner," I told the room, my voice firm enough to get across I wasn't taking no for an answer on that, then we left.

When we reached my room, Cogman turned down the sheets before having Bee set me down, then he tucked me back in, making sure my IV line was still dripping well. The bag was half empty, and he nodded. "I'll be back with lunch, and I'll change the bag then, my lady. Any preferences for a meal?" he asked.

I shook my head, sinking back against the pillows. "Whatever is being prepared for everyone else is fine. Thank you, Cogman."

"It's simply my duty, my lady." He gave a severe look to Bumblebee. "Make sure you fulfill yours, young guardian."

Bee met the gaze evenly, and came to sit at my side, an arm around my shoulders and the other taking my hand. Mikaela sat on my other side and took that hand. "I will always fulfill my duties, Knight-Commander. Never doubt me on that."

Cogman nodded, then left the room. When he closed the door behind him, I looked to Bee. "Knight-Commander?"

"I told you, I'm no leader, and Cogman has seniority over me. We discussed it a bit, while waiting for Galloway to pull his head out of his ass, and agreed that he could take the title, so long as the AllSpark didn't object."

I looked back to Her, and just got the feeling of a warm smile before She retreated. "I think She's okay with it. Though, She's not been very talkative since our last fight with the Fallen." I shuddered, as I remembered the oppressive feel of his EM field. The burning hate in his optics as he looked at me like I was a worm he wasn't able to squish yet. Him tearing through my-

"Alison!" A hand touched my face.

I jerked back to reality and looked into Mikaela's eyes. I pulled back slightly and ducked my head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what that was."

"Disassociation," Bee said, rubbing my back. "It happens, after trauma like this."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mikaela asked, cupping my hand between hers. "We'll listen, to whatever you want to say."

I took a deep breath, and exhaled a shaky laugh. "Where do I start? With the crushing betrayal of finding out one of my closest friends has been a 'Con all along? How it felt to be handed to Megatron on a platter? What it was like to have someone break into my mind, to dig through my memories and try to rip the most dangerous secrets out of my head?" My voice got quieter and more hoarse as I went along, a lump forming in my throat. "It was like he was prying my skull open. I couldn't keep him out, no matter what I did. I couldn't. All I could do was throw nonsense at him, any scrap of misleading info I could. He knows about the Jump now, or at least that I know of the different universes of Transformers." Tears started dripping down my face, but I didn't even try to wipe them away. "And the last time he almost won. He almost found the Matrix's location, and would have if the AllSpark hadn't thrown him out. I thought I was strong, that I was winning against him, but he was toying with me. He could have torn me apart. He could have ripped anything he wanted to know from me, and I'd be powerless to stop him. I- I-"

I broke into sobs, and tried to cover my face. Bee turned me slightly and I pushed myself into his chest, burrowing, as if it could get me away from this pain. His arms wrapped around me, one hand petting my hair while the other was tight around my shoulders. Slender arms wrapped around my waist, and I felt Mikaela's head on my shoulder, first murmuring, then saying something I couldn't pick up. I couldn't. Bee responded, then she started to sing, softly, lightly, a cybertronian lullaby Copper had taught us to comfort the hatchlings. Bee's voice joined hers, and the song filled my ears, and my mind. It coaxed my sobs to stop, and my breathing to even out, until I could join in on the refrain, even if my voice was more whispering than singing.

When the song was over, I looked up at Bee and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed me back, lightly, then I turned to Mikaela and did and got the same. "I'm sorry, I just- I-"

"You don't need to apologize," Mikaela said. "You've been hurt, and while you might heal quickly outside, it's going to take longer to heal inside."

"But you'll get through this," Bee said. "You are the strongest person I know, even if you don't feel like it right now. And we'll be here to help you every step of the way, no matter how much you might trip and fall."

I smiled weakly and wrapped my arms around both of them, pulling them close. "What did I ever do to deserve either of you."

"You were you," Mikaela said, kissing my cheek. "That's all you needed to be."

"Or ever will need," Bee finished, kissing my temple.

I just tightened my grip. I didn't know if I believed them yet, but they were right there, where I could touch them, and feel them and their love. It gave me strength, strength which I knew I needed to be able to move on.


AN: Yes, a recap chapter, similar to chapter 7, but a necessary one, and hopefully it all makes sense. Normally this is the part where I ask hypothetical questions for you guys, but this chapter is quite straight forward, I can't think of any.

A reminder, AllSpark is on a biweekly update schedule, so the next update will be on March 20.

Guest Review Replies

Guest (CH 40): Excellent chapter, as always. Permission to speak freely?
Permission granted soldier, lol. I'm always happy to hear from you guys.

LuciferRedeemed (CH 40): Great chapter!
Thank you!

I'll see you all next week, same 'Bot Time, same 'Bot Channel!