I'm sooo tired! Hope you all enjoy.

Snow


September 1st

Narcissa looked around her Hogwarts quarters and sighed. The same stone walls, the same stone floors. She walked to the bathroom and let the water run then walked back to the common area. Her memory of that time blurred sometimes, but the room she and Hermione shared for those few blissful days in the future had never left her. She transfigured the same green sofa, and hung the various reds, greens, blues, and yellows around the room. She tried for the most part to make the same quarters.

McGonagall came once and gasped. Narcissa looked down, and then the older woman lifted her chin. The older witch's eyes looked into her own blue. It was not judgment but understanding. All Narcissa said was it made her feel closer to her. Narcissa still to this day had issues saying Hermione's name, but when she said the word her, everyone knew to whom the woman spoke of.

She walked back into the bathroom and stopped the water. She stepped down into the stone pool of water and leaned her head back. She sighed and then smiled. Lifted a hand and then in came something she had not looked at in months, and a floating quill. She reached for her wand and charmed the items. The journal opened, and the quill began to scratch as she spoke.

My Dearest Love,

Tomorrow will be 4 months to the day that you have vanished from my life. 4 months without your voice, without your touch. 4 months without your arms to hold me. This is my first entry in my journal since you read the blasted book ages ago. It took me time, my love to get up from the depths of pain and trudge through life. It took a smack of responsibility for me to rouse myself from my chambers and clean myself up. It took everything I could to find my feet and follow them to Gringotts and visit Scrollblade.

My sister and her mate are adorable together. You were right when you ask me as we peeked in on them if could be so bad. No, honestly it was the best thing for Bella. About Bella and Fleur. You left something unfinished my love. We hurt them. I don't know how they forgive me, but every day they do. You see they were my source of happiness for a short term of time. But the bond you accidentally created with Bella tied the four of us together in a way that should have never been bound. I made Fleur break the bond when I was able. When it broke it felt like my heart cleaved in two. You are not here. You are not here to pick up the pieces, and you left me with the most precious gift I could ever dream of, but what if someday comes? What happens when fate takes my breath from my lungs, and soul from my body?

Anyways, enough of that. I am now the healer here at the castle. Part of me loved working with the kids during the Triwizard Tournament, so when I was asked to take over for Madame Pomphrey, I accepted. You would not believe that on the first day of school, technically a day where kids did nothing more than put their bags away and get sorted, I had my first patient. I can't imagine a Slytherin boy so uncoordinated as Maximilian Winters. He tripped on his way to the sorting hat, and poor thing sprained his ankle. He fought through the pain, and the hat had a few long moments on the boy's head. When he shouted Slytherin house, I inwardly smirked. I think he was more Gryffindor in those moments that a Slytherin. Just a gut feeling I think the hat was tied between the houses. I wonder what made the boy sort into the snake pit.

I wish you were here. I need you here. More than anything I need you here. If the fates, and gods were kind they would let you find a way back to me. Please find a way back to me.

Yours,

Narcissa

Narcissa swallowed and lifted her wand. She still couldn't touch the book, but she felt her lover would love to know how her first day went if she came back, just in case, she came back. Narcissa let her body lounge in the water. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This time when the tears came, they were not gut-wrenching sobs of the lonely and heartbroken. They were the tears of the broken trying frantically looking for a light in her day. Anything to make sure she will not slip into her abyss again. Maybe she could be strong enough to stay for her daughter. Narcissa placed her hand on her stomach, eyes still closed, and thought of what her daughter would look like. She smiled when a girl with brown wavy hair and blue eyes popped into her vision.

Maybe someday.

September 19th

Narcissa finally began to take the journal into her hand. She couldn't write in it unless it was from afar. Today had been a particularly slow day in the infirmary. She was already caught up on her paperwork, and once she puttered around her domain and made sure everything was where it needed to be the Infirmary doors had opened and she moved so she could see who entered. She let a smile slip to her lips as she walked toward the new arrival.

"Do you own anything that isn't black?" she teased coming to her friend and clutching him to her tightly. They stood like that, embracing their own memories, and didn't let go then Narcissa blinked.

"Did you feel that?" she asked.

"How could I not? What do you have in there a beast of some sort?" Severus Snape joked with his oldest friend.

"There is happened again," she took his hand, and placed his palm on her stomach. The waited. Nothing, and then she sighed delated.

"Maybe she is shy," Severus sneered. Then it was as if the child tried to kick through her stomach at the sound of his voice. He pulled his hand away so fast you would have thought it was burned. Narcissa laughed outright at the look on his face. He let a smile slip to his lips as he watched her. She looked as if sleep still evaded her, and even though she was glowing and pregnant, she looked smaller. But the emptiness was not as potent in those blue eyes, and they were no longer dull. Not like their old mischievous dancing blues, but there was a small shine to them beginning to break through. Severus sighed as he ushered her to a chair and pulled out an envelope and handed it to her. Narcissa's right eyes brow shot into the lair at her look. He stood back hoping today would be a good day.

Narcissa's smile lingered as Severus handed her the envelope and then he nodded. Something told her it was not bad news but was not great news. She looked down to the envelope. Her eyes shot up and her jaw worked. Ministry envelopes. Addressed to Hermione Jean Black. Narcissa looked to Severus and then to the envelope.

"As soon as I found her notebook with her research I brewed her potion," Severus said softly, "as soon as I followed her instructions, I tested it, and it worked. It was designed to take one hit, not two," Severus said and Narcissa nodded. Then she opened the envelope.

On the 4th day of September in the year of 1998,

The Ministry of Magic Great Britain,

Awards Hermione Jean Black the following:

Order of Merlin 1st Class

And a Master of Potions.

"As soon as I found it worked, I put in for her mastery. It came a few days ago, but today," Severus stopped when Narcissa reached out for his hand. She didn't cry, she didn't smile. She simply sat there, staring into space.

"Thank you Sev. This is a wonderful Birthday present, she would have loved it," Narcissa stuffed the papers back in the envelope and snapped her fingers. A small pop echoed in the quiet infirmary. Dobby came into the room happily, and then saw his mistress. His ears drooped slightly. He hoped this day would be better than the others because it was Mistress Hermy's birthday, but it didn't seem so. Dobby took Narcissa's hand and then looked into his wide glassy eyes and she smiled.

"Can you place these in our vaults, best yet ask if Scrollblade can put it in the Martindirk vault," Narcissa asked, and she gently squeezed his shoulder and smiled sadly down to him. He nodded then popped off. It was better than tears. When the little elf popped off Narcissa wiped beneath her eyes and turned around.

"Now tell me of you and my sister," she smiled deviously. Severus knew it was her way of clawing her way off the ledge of her abyss and crawl back to safety.

"I… well… I like her," Severus fumbled as he took a seat. He watched as Narcissa simply watched him. He loved the way she simply was Narcissa. The way she rested her cheek on her closed hand watching him with a small smile.

"Actually I have something to ask you," Severus shifted in his seat slightly but that was the only way one could tell he was nervous, "Andromeda and I have been seeming a lot of each other, I was wondering if it was alright with the head of the house for a formal requisition of courtship?" Severus looked her in her eyes, nothing gave him away.

"Are you asking me if you can formally date my sister?" Narcissa asked for clarity. He nodded, then the doors banged open.

"Gods damn a kid with a wand held together with Spello-tape. Fucking…. Ahhh," Bella roared into the infirmary then spied Severus talking the Narcissa, "Hey Sev, how's fucking my sister going?" Bella came over and Narcissa shook her head as she tried to hide a giant smile from forming on her lips as she watched her friend barely turn a tint of pink, but it was a tint of pink, nonetheless.

"Please think on it Narcissa," Severus stood and threw his robes out.

"No need. If you feel you need this then it is granted," Narcissa said to her friend and it was then that she knew how much he really cared for Andromeda. He smiled, his thanks. Then glared at Bella and then whirled out of the infirmary in a billow of his dark robes.

"Ooo scary. I'm shaking in my corset," Bella joked with a devious smile on her lips and then looked down to Narcissa. She saw a small spark had left her sisters eyes, but she loved seeing the smile on her lips.

"Can I help you Bella? What is it about a child and their broken wand?" Narcissa said looking up at her sister. Bella bit her lip.

"Yeah, a kid went to cast a stupefy, and the size of the magic didn't seem right. I jumped before another kid and the spell. Can you check me out?" Bella asked and Narcissa furrowed her brow. She cast a diagnostic.

"Bella! Where was your shield?" Narcissa admonished as she walked her sister over to the bed, "You have bruised ribs, and a sprained shoulder. How in the hell are you not wheezing right now?" Narcissa went to work on her sister.

"I have had worse," Bella said flatly. It was in those moments when Narcissa and Fleur had to take pause. References to another life, before they took her back glared at them when she dropped small comments like that. She went to her medicine cabinet that had dozens of bottles of her homemade elixir that got her in this trouble and fed it to Bella. Narcissa took the vial and leaned and kissed her sister's forehead.

"You did good Bells," Narcissa said to her. It was the closest Narcissa had ever said to Bella she was proud of her, "Next time don't forget your shield," she wagged her finger in front of Bella pointing it at her.

Bella scoffed.

"Or I will tell your mate," Narcissa went for the kill and watched Bella blanch. Narcissa smirked. She went to put the items away, and then turned back around to find Bella standing behind her, and then arms around her. Narcissa knew this was about to come.

"Let's go to Dan's, have Harry, and Draco, and Fleur, and Sev and Andy there. We celebrate her birthday my sister," Bella whispered in her ear. Narcissa only nodded, swallowing back her tears.

Dan's

"How is it you are more and more gorgeous every day?" Dan said as Narcissa came out of the floo. She smiled and walked up to him. He knew what she needed, and she let herself fall into his safe strong arms.

"It's good to see you too Dan," she smiled and then pulled from Dan's chest. He looked down and his eyes grew.

"How is my granddaughter?" he asked as he looked to Narcissa asking for permission and Narcissa took Dan's hand and placed it on her abdomen.

"Just talk. She seems to like other people's voices," Narcissa whispered, "You would think I'm 7 months along instead of 4," Narcissa smiled.

"You are still kinda small little bean, but I promise you have the strongest mum in the world protecting you," Dan's eyes lit as the baby moved under his hand, everyone began to gather and watch the pair. Narcissa took a deep breath and let the love wash over her, "Your other mum, well it's her birthday, and we are having a party for her. She was the best daughter, just like I am sure you will be, but knowing your parents I can see you getting into some trouble," Damn said smirking as Draco was belted in the ribs by Harry as Draco snickered to the side.

"Thank you, Dan," Narcissa had enough. It was too much, so she sought out a set of eyes she absolutely needed in that moment.

Draco came to her and enveloped her in a hug. She sighed as she took in her sons smell. She simply stood there with her arms around his waist as his cradled her to him with his arms about her shoulders.

"You ok Mum?" he asked in her ear. She nodded against his chest then he pushed her back slightly and looked down into her eyes.

"It's a difficult day. Just promise me if I have to go, take me home. You and Harry are welcome at Black Hall. I might not want to be alone," she asked, and her son smiled softly and nodded. Then there was a noise at the floo.

"So Andy you ditch me for this guy all in black," Damn jested. Narcissa looked and saw Severus and Andromeda arriving. She walked toward the new entrances slowly waiting to see what would happen. Severus, to her knowledge had never met Dan. True to form Severus sneered. Dan only laughed and clapped him on the back and walked him outside.

"My dear chum, if I can make a lasting friendship will Bella, I can win you over in heartbeat," Dan took Severus to the back yard and took out cards. Severus sat at a table and that brought the boys over toward the men. She watched as Severus and Dan tried to teach the boys how to play poker. Narcissa smiled.

"He is a decent man," Andromeda said from right next to her, Narcissa only watched on and smiled.

"He is one of the best of men," she replied and reached out for Andromeda, "Andy I have a question," Narcissa turned to look into Andromeda's eyes, "Are you still a skilled midwife?" Narcissa asked her sister and watched as the cogs went into overdrive. Andromeda smiled and took Narcissa's hand.

"If I am the one you want to deliver your child, I will be honored," Andy whispered pulling Narcissa's hand to her lips kissing her sister's hand and then turned back to the boys.

"I would want nothing more," Narcissa said as she squeezed Andromeda's hand.

There was a scuffle from behind her. Andromeda tensed. She could not get over the torment that Bellatrix put her through, and it made her tense, as if she were about to hex the woman. Fleur laughed as Bella smudged ash on her face, and then she cleaned them both off. Bella looked up and her eyes swam with mirth and then they landed on Andromeda. She came closer and Fleur hung back, but Narcissa would never let her sister face Bellatrix by herself. Bella slowly reached out and took Andromeda's hand. Andromeda almost snatched it away, but she saw Narcissa's look. Her fierce protection of her body and emotions.

"I went through a Goblin Trial," Bella said in a soft, almost childish voice, "I am not a good woman, but I am trying to be better. In those Goblin trials, they are a purification of sorts, to find one worthy of the Goblin nation. I am of the Goblin Nation now," Bella said, and Andromeda's eyes grew, "I am also of a Veela clan in France. Where? I'm not sure, and the name, I can't reveal. You know those Veela's, everything is hush hush. What I wanted to say was this," she reached around Andromeda and Andy went straight as a board as Bella inched into her personal space and placed her hand over her scar on her back, "This I understand now. I know what it's like to be tortured, and abused, and carved into by someone you love and adore. I wish I never did that to you Andy. I will ask you forgiveness for a thousand years but know it will be justified if I never get it," Bella said and then pulled from Andromeda.

Narcissa still held Andy's hand, and Andromeda was pale, but once Bella pulled from Andromeda, she grit her teeth.

"Show me. Show me what you have learned," Andromeda gritted. Bella pulled back and swallowed and Narcissa took Andromeda's hand and pulled her back.

"No, love, it is too much," Narcissa told Andromeda and she snatched her hand away.

"No, I am tired of you protecting dear old Bella. I want to know what she has learned of this act," Andromeda stood her ground. Bella stood there, eyes saddened, and then she reached back for Fleur's hand.

"Miss Andromeda, it was hard, are you sure you can handle it?" Fleur asked softly with her own eyes clouded. Andromeda looked between Narcissa, Bella, and Fleur.

"You all were there. You all know the trial," Andy looked to Narcissa, "You are not protecting her this time. You are protecting me," Andromeda stated and Narcissa nodded.

"Dive into my thoughts, but Bella's please. Do not," Narcissa asked with a crack in her voice. Andromeda lifted her hand to Narcissa's cheek and wiped away a tear and turned to Bella. She stood in front of her. Their eyes each other. Bella closed her eyes and took a breath. Andy did the same. Bella let her dive in.

When Andromeda came to, she shook like a leave on an autumn tree losing the war against winter. Her eyes blurred, and Narcissa held her, and Severus came forward and lifted her to the couch.

"What did she do?" he snarled.

"She dove into Bella's thoughts," Narcissa said as she sat on a cushion next to Andromeda and Severus nodded. He would never want to go there, not in a million years.

Narcissa took Andromeda's cheeks and held them, eye to eye when she slipped in Andromeda's cracked wide open mind.

Do not mention Hermione in this context with Dan here, Please I beg of you, Narcissa pleaded with her thoughts.

Andromeda nodded as she clutched Narcissa's wrist and closed her eyes. She took soothing breaths and regained her faculties. She reached out a hand and Severus took it and held it to his lips and kissed her palm. Narcissa was pulled back by the gesture. She stood and went to Fleur holding Bella upright as her lover breathed heavy deep lung full breaths of air. She watched Severus and Andromeda. She watched little smiles, and little caresses. She looked to Dan. She saw a small frown as he watched.

Dan Granger, the blessed saint of a man, stood behind Severus, and held out a pillow for Andromeda and a stool for Severus to sit on next to her.

"He deserves more," Bella said, and she jutted her chin toward Dan.

"He deserves the world Bells, but who in this world could give him the world he lost when Jean died?" Narcissa said and then glared at her sister, "You should have never done this. At least not today on her birthday at a fucking party where we are supposed to be getting drunk and having a great time. Bad form Bells," Narcissa chastised.

"What in the hell? This was not my fault!" Bella argued, and then she saw it, the little glimmer and she smiled, "You little shit, you had me thinking you were blaming me for everything," Bella slung an arm around Narcissa's Shoulder holding her up.

"No, it was not your fault, per say but you could have waited. Had a meeting. If I am to entrust you with my daughter you must teach her decorum, Bella," Narcissa smiled softly, sadly to the lesson Bella had learned, and should have learned so many years ago.

"Ok," Bella said as she hung her head for a moment.

Narcissa looked back to Severus and Andromeda. She would owl them, give them both her blessing, come what may. She would not be a tyrant like her father. If her sister fell in love with the Half Blood Prince, then so be it. At least she had a type.

Narcissa took one more look around and saw the festivities for what they were. A celebration of her lover. She backed away silently. Yes, she used magic to cover her escape, and Flooed home. She left her envelope for Dan, a simple moving photo of Hermione and Dan from a while ago, she honestly couldn't remember when. Maybe it was pregnancy haze, it will come back to her, but it was her gift to him. She only hoped it would be well received. She went to her room, she stripped off her clothing, and put on a loose night gown, not sure if Draco and Harry would follow since she invited her son and went to bed. She eyed the journal on the desk. She could not bring herself to write in it now. Not today.