Time to lighten the mood after a couple of heavy chapters & what's one of my stories about this family without some utter chaos?
"Daddy." Adelaide shrieked. She had been waiting for him to come pick her up after work. She'd been at Lola's all day, along with Poppy who had come over to give Mae a break. She was exhausted at the moment and Poppy was a busy littler beaver, this baby couldn't come quick enough for all of them. "There's been an incident."
He'd barely got through the door. "A what?"
"The shit hit the fan."
"Whoa Adelaide, language please." He sighed. She was prone to repeating everything she heard lately.
"Sorry." Addy grabbed his hand; she was literally jumping out of her skin. The house was strangely quiet and he was concerned. "It all went to hell."
"Okay." He tried not to laugh. "Take a breath Adelaide and calm down."
She stopped and took a deep breath but it didn't help, it just delayed things. "It's C…RAZY here." She threw her head back wildly. They had long been well aware that Adelaide had the flair for the dramatic.
"What happened?"
"Sam lost his bundle. Billy had Emu and Sam tried to get it back and his head came off…" Her voice shot up at the end as she shrieked. She was way too excited by all this. "…Billy pulled his head right off."
"Oh dear. How's Emu?"
"He was in bits."
"What about Sam? How's Sam?"
"He's off the chain." Alfie was way too amused by Addy's excitement and it was hard not to laugh. "He pushed Billy over, there was yelling and crying and Billy was lying on the floor going nuts…..nuts."
"Can I ask what you were doing?"
"Poppy and me were just watching." She insisted. "We didn't touch them. There was stuff everywhere, like Emu's brains fell out." Addy was weirdly excited. He was pretty sure it wouldn't be such an exciting event if Ed was on the receiving end of the decapitation. It would have been an International emergency and he would have got a call.
"Where's Poppy now?"
"Mae came and got her. Lola is upstairs with Billy." She pointed up to the bedrooms. "Lola was angry she yelled at Sam and at Billy. Poppy and me did nothing." She was making it very clear that she was a witness to this incident and not a participant. "We didn't do anything. I promise, we were Djindas."
Addy wasn't wrong, the shit had hit the fan. Big time.
Sam, Poppy and Addy were sitting down having a picnic in the lounge room. They had cookies that they had helped make and some milk and were giggling about god knows what, right up until Billy appeared with Emu. Sam had bought him downstairs to play with Addy's Echidna and Poppy's Quokka. It had been very cute as they made up funny voices and chased each other around with their toys. Poppy and Addy had diligently put theirs up on the table out of Billy's line of sight but Sam ignored his mother's warning to keep everything out of Billy's reach. He was a devil at the moment, now that he was walking his arms where permanently stretched up over his head trying to get at things deliberately placed out of his reach.
They had told Sam over and over again to put things out of Billy's way but he just ignored them to his own peril. Billy also loved being wherever Sam was and was always in his room. They'd had a fight over Emu before and Sam had been told to keep him away from Billy so it was hard to feel sorry for him when he left him lying around.
Until the head came off. Then Lola felt sorry for him.
The screaming had bought Lola out of the kitchen, where she was still cleaning up after the cookie making. "No it's mine. Let go." Sam screeched. Billy had a death like grip on Emu's head. "Let go, William."
"No, mine." Billy wasn't really much of a talker, Sam did most of the talking for him but he did have a few choice words and no was one of them. "NO"
Lola was mortified when she walked in, it was like slow motion. Sam gave one really hard tug on Emu and Billy tumbled backwards. Lola rushed forward, fearing that Billy would bang his head. That wasn't the issue, he landed on his bottom, well-padded with his diaper it was the flutter of stuffing in the air and Sam's blood curdling scream that caused the most drama. Sam was left holding the body and Billy let go of the head which flung across the room and rolled under the chair.
Sam lunged at Billy, pushing him onto his back and the shock started him crying. The two boys were at it, well Sam was at his brother & Billy was just lying there. Sam was hysterical and Billy was screaming just as loud. Poppy and Addy were motionless. They just sat still and watched it all unfold and did not say a word.
"He's dead, you killed him." Sam sobbed. "I hate you."
"Sam." Lola grabbed his arm as he went to push his brother again. "Enough."
"Emu's dead."
"He's not dead. We will fix him."
"He broke him, Billy broke him." Sam was heartbroken. "He's dead."
"Hey, Mommy will fix him."
"Can you call Daddy? He's a Doctor, he'll fix Emu." It was a little bit cute and a little bit frustrating that Sam just saw Lola as his Mommy while Daddy was obviously a Doctor who could fix anything. His Mommy was the safe arms he always sought; his Daddy was his fixer.
"I can fix him."
"No, Daddy's a Doctor, you are just my Mom."
Billy was clawing up his mother's leg which annoyed Sam. He felt he deserved all the attention. "Go away William." Sam lashed out at him. He didn't often call him William and it was usually never good when he did. "I hate you."
"Sam. Stop it." Lola grabbed his arm again. "Don't hit your brother. We don't hit each other and do not ever let me hear you say you hate your brother again. You know better. Now, I want you to sit up on the couch and take a moment to calm down." She was having none of it.
He threw himself on the couch while Lola collected the pieces of Emu. She did feel horrible for Sam, she did remember fighting over her Leopard with Mae, Alfie and Iris had also fought over her leopard and ripped his leg off. It was a terrible feeling so she had some idea of how Sam was feeling. Billy was clueless to what he'd done, he was just a toddler. They'd warned Sam but now wasn't the time to say 'I told you so'
Once Billy had calmed down Poppy and Addy were happy to play with him. They seemed to know when it was best to stay out of things. This was a good time to just sit quietly and play.
Lola sat down with Sam, cuddling her little heartbroken boy. "Sam, sweetheart. We'll fix Emu, I promise. You know, Alfie and Bug ripped my Leopards leg off once."
"Did you fix it?"
"My Mom did and you couldn't even tell he'd been broken. Emu will be as good as new I promise."
"I'm so, so sad." He sobbed into his mother's lap.
"I know Sam, poor little man. We'll fix Emu." Lola rubbed her devastated boy's back gently until he calmed down. Seeing his little chest heaving was gut-wrenching.
By the time that Mae arrived things had settled down although Emu was still lying in tatters on the kitchen bench. "Please tell me my child didn't do this?" Mae picked up the two pieces. She'd briefly talked to Poppy on the way in but she was busy playing with Addy to pay much attention to her mother. Billy was asleep, thankfully and peace had been restored although Sam was still miserable.
"Nope, my two crackheads were the sole perpetrators of this Incident."
"Did Sam lose it?"
"He dropped his bundle; all hell broke loose." Lola picked up the two pieces of Emu. "And holy crap, did the shit hit the fan. Billy had a tight grip on him and when Sam tried to get him back it was a fight to the death obviously and Emu lost."
Mae laughed when they heard Addy gasp. She'd come in to get a drink and Lola and Mae both just stared at her for a moment. They had no idea how much she had heard. Lola gave her a drink and she scuttled away and both of them were pretty sure that Addy was going to remember every single word.
"Anyway, Sam wants me to call Riley and get him to come home and operate, because you know he's a Doctor and I am just a Mom."
"Cute."
Lola scowled; you'd think she'd be used to it by now but Sam just had too much boy in him. "I'm so proud of my misogynistic son."
"Poor Sam."
"Yes." Lola waved her hand. "I do feel sorry for him, it was horrific. I remember when Alfie and Iris fought over my Leopard and pulled his leg off."
"That was pretty epic." The look Lola shot Mae was enough for Mae to drop it. She obviously wasn't ready to joke about it.
"Anyway, how are you? Did you get a rest?"
"Pfft hardly, as soon as I lie down it starts squirming. I did get some washing done, sorted out baby clothes and all that shit. It better be a girl, everything is pink. George's Mom went crazy when Poppy was born."
"She'll go crazy again when the Nut arrives, don't worry." Lola leant over and rubbed Mae's belly. "I've got lots of Billy's stuff if Nut has nuts."
"You'll need it, you'll have Riley on the tools the moment I push it out."
"After today…no thank you. I'm not running the risk of bringing more testosterone into this tent."
"It might be a Queen."
"Pfft…I'm not that lucky."
By the time Alfie arrived things had calmed down. Poppy had gone home, Sam was watching TV, he was too sad to do anything else apparently and Addy was now with him, she'd talked to Lola for a little while about how they were going to fix Emu. Lola had disappeared upstairs when Billy woke and hadn't reappeared yet leaving Addy to go in search of Sam, she really did like talking and Sam wasn't up for it but that didn't stop Addy, she just talked anyway. The boy could sulk like nobody's business so Addy tried to cheer him up.
"You can borrow my giraffe just until Emu is fixed." She offered sweetly. Lola stood quietly at the bottom of the stairs and listened to Addy try and comfort Sam. It was beautiful to watch.
"It's not the same."
"I know." Addy sat up beside her cousin. "Emu will be okay; Lola is very clever. Daddy said she's a Doctor too and she fixed me when I was sick."
"My Daddy will fix him when he comes home."
"Billy is very silly isn't he?"
"Yes." Sam huffed. He wiped the tears off his cheeks angrily. "He's terrible sometimes."
"I hope when I have a brother or sister it's not as silly as Baby Billy."
"I hope so too." Sam shook his head sadly. "I hope Poppy's baby is not silly. I can't do silly anymore."
"It's exhausted." Addy sighed and flopped against the back of the couch. Addy and Sam's conversations were always amusing. Their friendship was beautiful to see as it developed. It had come a long way in a short space of time. Sam was a friendly little boy and had taken Addy under his wing from the very first day they met. The way he helped her when Pops died was the sweetest thing ever. He'd made his parents proud, now the tables were turned at little and it was lovely to see Addy being there for Sam.
"It really is." Sam hugged his knees to his chest. "Will you still be my friend when you have a baby?"
Addy sighed dramatically. "Well I'll be busy, but I think so."
"I'd like to be your friend still."
"Like FBB?" Lola chuckled she could listen to them all day. Addy obviously meant BFF's and Lola really hoped they would always be friends, they were the sweetest little things.
"Ah huh." Sam nodded. "You'll have to hide Ed though, when you get your baby." Alfie and Quinn were very aware that the pressure was on. Addy wanted a brother or sister and told them constantly. It had only ramped up since Mae's pregnancy.
"I'll buy my baby its own Ed."
"It can't have an Ed, it has to be different."
"Oh…" She thought about it for a moment. "…a koala, 'cos they are 'raborigine' like me." Apparently anything from Australia was aboriginal.
"Do you like being a 'raborigine?"
Addy nodded. "Uh huh."
Lola left them to it, they were watching TV now and Sam had perked up a little and they were watching a show about talking fruit and giggling away.
Alfie was still laughing at Addy's descriptive review of the day's events when Lola came down with Billy, she handed him to his Uncle. "I've heard you've had a busy day William?" Alfie loved calling him William and Addy scoffed at him 'his name is Billy.'
Alfie thanked her and sent her on her way. "So, I've had Addy's slightly hysterical version of events." He followed Lola into the kitchen.
"Slightly?" Lola chuckled a little manically. "It was a full on, three alarm fuckening."
"So? She wasn't lying. The shit did hit the fan?"
"Did she say that?"
"Yes, yes she did. A little too enthusiastically. Also mentioned hell a few times, that Sam lost his bundle and that Emu's brains flew out." Alfie sat up waiting for Lola to make him a coffee. Billy wormed and wiggled his way out of his arms and set off in search of the kids. Lola cringed; she was waiting for World War Three. Sam was not happy with Billy, at all.
"Jesus, she's your daughter isn't she."
Lola slid the coffee in front of her brother. "She is, I'm proud. So what happened?"
"Billy found Emu lying on the floor and snaffled it, Sam was having none of it and Billy wouldn't let go. His head came off, all hell broke loose, Sam was hysterical, Billy was hysterical because Sam pushed him over. There was screaming, pushing, stuffing flying around, heads rolling…it was chaos." Not only did Addy have a flair for the dramatic but so did Lola.
"And Addy?"
"You and Mae are exactly the same, just worried about your offspring's involvement."
Alfie shrugged; he wasn't going to deny it. "So?"
"Addy had nothing to do with it. The girls just sat and watched it all unfold. She was talking to Sam a little while ago trying to cheer him up, she offered to let him have her giraffe and it was all very sweet.
"She didn't offer up Ed?"
"Oh god no, that was not happening. Once the shit went down, Ed was put up way out of Billy's reach. Addy was having none of that." Alfie wasn't surprised that Addy would've been worried about Ed, she loved that thing.
"Addy would have sacrificed giraffe to protect Ed, she would sacrifice my giraffe for Ed." Alfie found it all very amusing. They could laugh now, it was no laughing matter when he was growing up and Lola took his giraffe. "I might suggest she leaves Ed at home in future."
"After today, I think she'd agree."
The thought of being able to tell Quinn the story got Addy all revved up again, she couldn't wait until she got home to tell her and was disappointed when Alfie told them they weren't leaving yet. Quinn was working late so they stayed for dinner at Lola's. He was looking forward to the spectacle, it could go either way.
As soon as Riley walked through the door Sam was at him, despite Lola fixing Emu he wanted to tell his Dad what Billy had done. "He ripped off his head." The tears were epic as he sobbed into his Daddy's shoulder.
Addy wasn't helping, she was way too into this. "His brains went everywhere..." She flung her arms around dramatically. "..And his head rolled away." Alfie sighed. Adelaide was such a drama queen and Sam just burrowed further into his Dad's shoulder and told Addy to 'stop talking about it.'
"Mom's fixed Emu now." Riley had a good look at him. He had been amused by Lola's entertaining stream of text messages that he'd been receiving all afternoon.
"Can you check? He needs a Doctor."
"Mommy's a Doctor."
"Not a good one though."
Fuck, kids could be brutal, luckily Lola wasn't around. They didn't care about other people's feelings; they hadn't realised the power of words just yet. They were honest, way too honest some days. Not that he had any idea about things like that. Lola was a damn good Doctor; staff, parents and kids all loved her.
Alfie wasn't touching that one. Riley dived in though, arguing his mother was better than him. He just dealt with old people, his mother was good with little people and broken Emu's. "I think Mom has fixed him perfectly. Where's Billy now?"
"In the bath." Sam declared, his lip almost curling in disgust. "I'm not having a bath with him. I am so angry with him. I'm going to shower with you." The piece of information pleased Riley no end.
They sent them both on their way.
"Awesome." Riley would love nothing more than having to shower with Sam. He was a giant pain in the ass in the shower. He high fived his son and then opened the fridge and pulled out two beers handing one to his brother-in-law and the kids scooted away. "Sounds like a good day."
"Not sure Lola Bear agrees. She's been talking about a fuckening."
"That's not a term I've heard in a while." Riley leant on the bench and took a long pull on his beer. "Also I have a stream of messages detailing, in graphic terms what she is planning to do to me during my sleep to ensure there are no more children and it's not good man." He shook his head. "Man, Billy is full of piss and fire."
"Like Sam isn't?"
"True."
"Dadda." Billy came charging into the kitchen. "Dadda." He flung himself at his Dad and Riley scooped him up.
"Hey, I've heard you've had a big day Wild Billy." He kissed his cheek and snuggled into his neck. He loved the smell of him when he was all clean in his pyjamas ready for bed. "Causing trouble."
He gave Lola a kiss as she passed. It was nice to be home in time for dinner, it didn't always happen. He was due for a holiday; he hadn't had time off since Billy was born. Life got busy, he was studying right now and only had a couple more months until he was a fully-fledged Oncologist. Hopefully things would get a little less hectic then. They hoped to sail up to the Beach House, spend a week chilling out and then make their way back once his final exams were over. Lola was nervous about having Sam and Billy on board, they were going to need eyes in the back of their heads but they wanted the boys to enjoy sailing. "They are both all yours. I've had enough of them today." She poured herself a wine. "Fucking crackheads. You can fuck off with your Y chromosomes."
Riley just laughed; she was definitely pissed. "Didn't Alfie and Bug destroy your Leopard?"
"Yes, yes they did. I didn't talk to them for weeks. Friggin' assholes. It was all Alfie's fault." Lola was over it.
"Hey, Whoa, what did I do? I was just saving him from Bug's sticky fingers."
"You were waving him at Bug, taunting me because you were an annoying little shithead, which was a daily occurrence I might add."
"And what's the rest of that story Charlotte?" Alfie teased her and Riley laughed, he'd long got used to Lola and her siblings insanity, there was always more to the story. "What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"You stole my giraffe and hid him. For three days I thought I'd lost him forever. I cried myself to sleep every night. I knew you did it. Dad's head exploded when he found out."
"He did, didn't he. I actually thought he was going to keel over." Lola laughed. "Mae found out and dobbed on me, Dad went nuts. I had to apologise, I had to make your bed for a week."
"He should have taken your Leopard away for three days. That's what I would have done."
"You'd do that to Addy?"
"Shit no, that's just cruel."
Alfie was glad he wasn't the only one that was concerned about Addy's weird excitement over the Emu slaughter. Quinn just looked amused as Addy flung her arms around, bounced up and down as it literally exploded out of her. "His head just like flew off." Addy shrieked. "Sam was crying, I tried to cheer him up but he was so so sad. Billy was so naughty. I hid Ed, so he couldn't get him. It was amazing."
"Amazing? Poor Sam."
"He lost his bundle." Addy still didn't get it right, Alfie laughed though. She was just so excited. "Lola fixed him, she's a Doctor you know." Quinn was helping Addy get ready for her bath, they were hoping it might calm her down a little.
"I know. I am sure she did a good job."
"When I get a baby I won't let it play with Ed. They can have a Koala, that's 'raborigine. Sam thinks that's a good idea. Do you think that's a good idea?" She was hopping from foot to foot waiting for the bath to fill.
"Oh Addy, that's very sweet of you."
"Am I getting a baby soon?"
"Not yet Sweetheart, but hopefully one day."
"Poppy gets her baby soon. If she doesn't like it can we have it?"
"Mae, George and Poppy will love their baby but we can visit."
Quinn held her hand as she climbed into the bath. "What else did you do today?"
"We make cookies and then ate them all." Finally she seemed to be on another topic but it was only a brief respite. "That's when Billy stole Emu and pulled his head off, it went under the chair and Lola had to pick up his brains and squash it back in his head."
"Well that's no good."
"It's okay, Emu is fixed now. It was all such a bother." Addy sighed and Quinn had to work hard not to laugh.
The bath did nothing to help, Addy was on some serious crack at the moment. Addy was a law unto herself and even when she was cleaning her teeth she was still talking about it, pausing only briefly to mutter 'holy crap' when the toothpaste slid off her toothbrush. She told her Dad she was too excited to sleep and he had to work hard to get her to calm down.
"Was that weird?" When Alfie took Addy to bed and she was still going on about it. Ed was tightly tucked into her arm 'in case Billy steals him' Alfie reminded her that Billy wasn't actually here and that no one was going to steal Ed from her. Quinn was folding some washing. It was a never ending pile, Addy went through clothes like nobody else and they'd often see her in three or four different outfits a day. "Addy was weirdly excited by that."
"She was."
"I'm concerned. It almost seemed evil."
"She's not evil, idiot."
"No? How many times has she talked about brains tonight and heads coming off?"
"Addy is just excited by any action, she's an action junkie. How was she when Billy climbed up on the table? She talked about it for days. She just loves to be in the thick of it."
"I know." He flopped down on the couch. "It was funny as all shit. She was hilarious, Lola is drinking, Riley is copping shit for only giving her Y chromosomes and is to terrified to go to sleep because Lola's apparently going to de-nut him."
"So just a normal night then." She rolled her eyes and threw a pile of clothes at him to fold.
"Ha, yep." He couldn't argue with that. It wasn't unusual behaviour for his family. "Lola did also say she was very sweet though, offering Sam her giraffe just until Emu was fixed and told him that she'd still be his BFF when she gets a baby, although she'll be very busy."
"Her and her bloody baby."
"She's obsessed."
"I'm obsessed with you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss.
Addy was obsessed with baby's and everyone knew it. George had been her recent target, the girl was going to surely be a politician, they'd never seen a kid work an angle like Addy did. She was on a mission.
"George." Addy siddled up to him before dinner. "Can you take my Dad to that shop?" she opened her argument carefully.
"What shop?"
"Where you bought Mae's baby? He can buy one for us." It was not what he was expecting, despite Poppy asking all sorts of strange things, Addy was in a league of her own.
"You can't buy a baby Adelaide, you have to make one." Technically you could buy a baby but they weren't going there. God knows what Addy would do with that information, it would blow her mind and then she'd spend forty forever's begging her Dad to buy her a baby.
"Oh." She thought about that for a moment. "Can you tell him how to make one?"
George playfully touched her nose, they all adored and embraced Addy's craziness. She was the perfect fit for this circus. "He knows. He made you and you are perfect."
"I think he's forgotten." He saw the tears glistening in her eyes and George helped her up onto his lap. It was all she wanted and she was desperate and more than content to ask anyone who sat still for long enough what she had to do. They actually worried that she would steal one given half the chance. Mae's baby was under real threat of a larceny.
"I will talk to Daddy for you." He promised. It was easier this way, or so he thought. Addy seemed satisfied for now. For a brief moment he imagined a way too intense discussion about sex that he wasn't ready for. Poppy was still oblivious to the finer details of her mother's pregnancy and how the baby got in there or how they'd get it out and he was happy with that.
"Now?"
"Not right now."
He didn't expect it at dinner, although perhaps he should have, she was a Hollister after all. "Daddy." As soon as Addy opened her mouth George knew what was coming. "George said he'd show you how to make another baby. I think you've forgotten."
Iris literally spat her dinner across the table. Mae just looked at her husband. "Oh I am interested in this." Quinn wasn't touching it and neither was Lola. Alfie and George were on their own.
"Thank you Adelaide, I think we'll be fine."
"Do you remember? You made me, you didn't buy me."
"I know Addy."
"George is very good at it, he's made two." Addy continued. "You should just check." She looked at her Uncle. "How did you learn it?"
"I just did, Mae taught me." George dropped himself in it big time and everyone just sat back and enjoyed the show. "She's very good too."
"Really George, do tell?" Colton topped up George's glass. "I want to learn."
"Yay…" Addy shrieked. "Then Bug can get a baby too."
"Go on." Mae wasn't saving her husband, that wasn't how these things worked. He'd dug his own hole.
"I know." Sam finally inserted himself into the conversation unfortunately, he could never stay out of things for long. "You kiss lots, and cuddle in bed and that makes a baby."
"No it doesn't." Addy argued. "I'm not having a baby and I cuddled you in bed."
"We weren't nude." Sam sounded exasperated as only an almost five year old could be. Nobody wanted to deal with the sleeping in the nude discussion. Everybody just avoided eye contact although Iris struggled to stop herself laughing.
"What about in the bath, we were nude then." Addy countered.
"Nuh ah….we didn't kiss." Sam reminded her and weirdly Addy got it, the look on her face was like a lightbulb going on.
"Oh." She sighed. "Bugger."
Everyone looked at George, this was his disaster and he needed to nip it in the bud but no one was going to come to his rescue. "It's a lot more than that."
"Like what?" Alfie wasn't keen to let him off the hook yet.
"Well, Alfred…." George had had enough and Addy laughed. She knew her Daddy was in trouble when someone called him Alfred. "…how far do you want this to go?"
"All the way." Iris cheered. "All the way." Alfie just glared at her and pointed his fork in her direction to shut her up.
"Well Adelaide, you know how boy's have….."
"Alright." Alfie really didn't need him to continue. "..thanks George. Thank you Adelaide. I don't need George's help to show me how to make a baby. I think we will manage without George's help."
"But…" Alfie held up his hand to stop Addy's rebuttal and she stopped talking.
Until she went to bed though and she just checked one more time that her Daddy knew how to make a baby. "Yes Adelaide, I remember, now I think we should stop talking about it."
"Does Quinn know?"
"Yes, she does. Now enough for now please. It's sleep time."
"Okay. Night night Daddy Alfie, I love you." It was like she always had to get the last word in and Alfie chuckled when Addy sighed. "Dad I hope I dream of my baby."
Life was crazy with Addy and they loved every minute of it. You never knew what you were going to get each day, except love. She always told them that she loved them. Every day.
Now if they could just sort out that baby issue for her, she'd be really happy.
