Danny trudged into his house after a long day at work. He dropped his keys into the tray and draped his coat over the banister. "Hey," he greeted his wife before groaning.

"I don't know what that stink is," Linda shook her head, then gave Danny a kiss.

"It's been stinkin' for weeks!"

"I know, but I can't find the smell. You'll get used to it in a couple hours."


Linda screamed that Friday evening. The kids were away, and she and Danny had gone on a hunt for the stink.

"It's okay, babe." Danny smirked.

"Ohhh, just make sure it's still dead."

"It's been dead for weeks!"

"I can't believe that was in my house!"

"Linda, it's fine. It's just a dead rat. C'mere, face your fears."

Linda slowly crept up to the humongous dead rat. "It's so gross!" She waved her hands in disgust.

Danny looked at her, "you see people with bones sticking out and limbs twisted the wrong way, and you're scared of a little rat?"

"Danny, that's not little! That's, like, the size of..."

"Of what?" Danny raised his eyebrows.

"A big loaf of bread! It's disgusting!"

"Just-just face your fears. Come on. Look," he pointed to the various body parts he described, "there's his little eyes, his tiny, little nose. Look, there's his teeth... almost looks like he's mad..." Danny picked up the trash bag, waved it around, and screamed.

Linda screamed, quickly backing away into the kitchen. "Danny Reagan! You! Are! So! Mean!" She threw a dish towel and a can of tomatoes and a travel mug at her husband, who was wheezing with laughter.


"I feel a big storm going on over there," Henry pointed to Linda and Danny at the other end of the table.

"I just played a little practical joke on Linda, and she's just a little pissed." Danny explained.

"It was the size of a bread box, Danny!" Linda reiterated, still mad.

"It was dead!"

"It was disgusting!"

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Nicky wondered, smiling.

"So you all know how my house has been stinky?" Danny wondered, continuing when nods and murmurs of 'yes' were sounded. "Well, we found out it was a big, stinkin' rat that had been dead for about two, three weeks-"

"You know what the bastard did?" Linda interrupted, "I thought he was going to be a nice, caring husband, telling me to face my fears... then the bastard picks up the rat, which was, like, two feet way from my Face, and shook it and yelled, like it was going to attack me!"

Jamie spit his wine back into his glass, choking. He laughed through the chokes, putting his hand over his mouth. Danny started laughing, too, pinching his nose.

Linda looked around as her family started laughing, "it's not funny, guys! It was scary!" She nodded, almost ironically, "of course. You're all against me, as always." She was ignored, and it got under her skin, but, deciding to be big about it, let it go. Bastards.