Song of Shadow: "Wow. Just wow. I am awestruck by the utter brilliance contained in this glorious piece of art." Why thank you! "I have no idea if I'm being sarcastic or not." That's how you're supposed to feel lmao.

gemsofformenos: "You're definitely working on an masterpiece of silliness here. Stories like this one are so refreshing, like a vacation from all this serious stuff and heavy emotions. As a reader, but also as an author." Exactly! It's just been so much fun because I've been torturing my IRL friend with this and making him read it out loud in a posh British accent. "Azula's plans to take over the world wide food industy are taking shape." Her plans are moving along very smoothly. "The idea with the water of the oasis and the cabbage was priceless!" xP I had to reference season 1 at least once! "They could set up a campaign nearly no one could resist." They don't have the power to resist lmao. "Still Sie has issues woth the script." I promise that those will continue! "And by the way, he has no idea about authors and wouldn't even recognize a good script if you would let Toph beat him up with one." xP Thanks! "I had so much fun with this chapter, the dialogues" glad you had fun with it! I actually had alot of fun with the chapter after this. Usually I only type one chapter a night but then I had this idea and I'm going to try to publish chapter 7 tomorrow because I am excited. "Or will she just end up at the Boiling Rock for planing a franchise partnership with Iroh and Zuko?" Oh lord, Cabbage Azula in the Boiling Rock! Season 3 is going to be fun to work with. "But this silly one here has found a special place in my heart." Same tho, it's just coming together naturally. "just keep on having fun with this one and all of your stories! :-D" Thank you! :D

Let me be bored: Dickbutt is the real hero here.


"Oh, Spirits, not again." Sie looks down at the script handed to him. "Another lengthy monologue." He groans and turns to the Dailluminati agents. With a deep sigh he beings, "The Earth King and the Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. They imprisoned your leader, Long Feng. Soon they will turn on all of you and eliminate you. Seizing power today is a matter of life and death. This coup must be swift and decisive. The Earth King and each of the five generals must be taken out simultaneously." He pauses to catch his breath. "Long Feng has placed you in my command while we overthrow the government...oh forget this!" He tosses the script aside. "I'm your leader now, we have to overthrow the government, please don't do anything backstabby." He gives them all fingerguns. All of them return the gesture.

All of them save for a man with a small vertical scar on his cheek.

He knows who the group fuck up is.

"Good talk, good talk." TyLee nods. "Pretty and poetic and with great improv."

"Yeah. That one guy was shitting bricks." Mai remarks.

"There are still a few loose ends." Sie says. "The Avatar, and my brother and uncle. And that Agni damned bear." They all shudder.

Except for the man with the vertical scar.

Sie's suspicions of him double. Could it be that the bear has taken over the man's mind?

.oOo.

"So how did it go with the guru? Did you master the Deus Ex Machina State?" toph asks.

"Uh …" He begins.

Pathik If you leave now, you won't be able to go into the Avatar State at all!

It is as though the man is speaking right into his ear. "Pathik, go back to your mountain, please, you're not supposed to be in this scene."

The guru coughs, "sorry, sorry I just think that I should have a little more screentime!" He declares. "Do you think that if I partner up with that cabbage merchant that I will get more screentime?"

"I don't know, master Pathik…"

"I think that onion and banana juice would go well with cabbage."

"Yeah sure, mater Pathik but I really think that I should…"

"I can make onion and strawberry banana juice too." He says.

"Sounds great but I…"

"Or onion and orange juice…."

"Master Pathik…?"

"Onion, orange and toothpaste juice!"

.oOo.

"I think that it is time that you reveal your *~really cool~* part of our deal." Long Feng declares.

Azula shakes her head. "Not yet, I need my cabbage business to flourish first. After I see some gold pieces I'll give you my *~really cool~* surprise."

"Look, merchant, I have no time for your games."

"Oh, you think that this is a game." Azula's eyes narrow. "I will have you know that I take my cabbages very seriously…"

"That's true." Jet remarks. "Did you know that she has never done an activity that didn't involve cabbages until last night."

"Jet!" Azula hisses.

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Sorry!"

Long Fang pinches the bridge of his nose. "Alright, fine. You can borrow our mind control devices, just don't go completely ham."

"Can we go pork?" Jet asks.

"No."

"Steak?"

"No."

"Peperoni?"

"Absolutely not."

"Oh so this mind control device is for vegans only?" Jet nods.

"Correct."

Azula blinks. "What does that even mean?"

"It means that it is the perfect device to begin making people enjoy cabbages." Long Fang declares. "Now get to it before my Dailluminati agents need to use it again."

"Where are they now?" She asks.

"With my other business partner."

Azula's eyes narrow. "Your other business partner?" She folds her arms across her chest. "Well that person better not get in my way or you won't be getting your *~really cool~* prize."

.oOo.

"What's taking so long?" Zuko grumbles. "I have to go to the bathroom." He adds through gritted teeth.

"Nephew, why didn't you go before you left?" He asks. "I journed once knew a courageous and powerful man. He was intelligent and valiant. He rode into all of his battles with his head held high but with a humbleness. He had seen many great victories. He fought at Ba Sing Se, that was the first battle he had ever lost. And do you know why that is, nephew?"

"Why is that, uncle?"

"It is because he did not go to the bathroom before he set out to battle. And so instead of preforming his firebending forms, he did the pee dance."

"Oh." Zuko replies. "That isn't good."

"No. It is not." Iroh agrees with downcast eyes. "That man, Zuko, was me. It was not a proud moment. If you are going to ride into battle do it with a humble and merciful heart and an empty bladder. And then you will see conquest."

No sooner does he finish speaking does the Basco show up.

"Something's not right." Zuko notes.

The bear looks him directly in the eyes and he goes rigid. Something primal takes over, an instinct to perhaps play dead and hope that, that thing falls for it.

Princess Sie comes to stand before them, Dailluminati agents in tow. "Quick, catch it!" The princess points at the bear, contorting into a full body cringe. "It's disgusting in a way that I can't explain."

The Dailluminati exchange glances before cautiously approaching Bosco. With the Dailluminati agents after the creature, Sei gives an awkward cough. "They were supposed to arrest you but that thing is a bit more pressing."

For once Zuko agrees with his sister.

"Did I ever tell you how I got the nickname 'the Dragon of the West'?"

Sei frowns, "I'm not interested in a lengthy anecdote, Uncle."

"It's more of a demonstration, really." He replies. Zuko flashes him a smile as he drinks his tea. He then clears his throat and unleashes a hideously loud pterodactyl screech. "They meant to say dinosaur, not dragon!" He calls as he dashes into the hallway. Unfortunately his absurdly obnoxious noise had distracted Zuko too. But the prince tries to play it off with a manly, "no! I'm tired of running! It's time I faced Sei!"

Iroh lets out another pterodactyl screech, but this one is made not as a power move but rather an expression of both dismay and disappointment. Knowing he can do nothing more for his stubborn nephew he makes his escape.

"You're so dramatic. What? Are you going to challenge me to an Agni Kai?" Sie taunts.

"I was actually hoping for a rap battle."

"No thanks." Sei says, he much prefers rock, paper, scissors.

.oOo.

"I think you're supposed to move it counter clockwise." Jet suggests.

"Less talking more abs." Azula mutters.

"But…"

"You're gorgeous and I think that we are perhaps in some sort of relationship which means that I...love you?" She pauses. "Not more than my cabbages, but I believe that I have some degree of affection for you…"

"Is it just because you like my abs?"

Azula ponders the question. Truth be told, she isn't sure. She thinks that this might be the first time that she has had love for anything that wasn't a cabbage. And for that, she cannot quite place the origins of the feeling. She clears her throat. "You're gorgeous and I love you, but you should remain quite because you don't know what you are talking about. I am, in fact, operating the brainwashing device correctly."

"Okay, I just...well I'm not sure if that was what was supposed to happen."

"He'll be fine, it's just a little blood. I'm pretty sure that's normal. I sometimes bleed from the ears."

"When?" Jet asks.

"Well my other business partner, the man who runs the Jasmine Dragon, he sometimes does this really loud shriek when someone tries to dine and dash…"

Jet nods.

She nods back, she needs to stop letting him distract her. The avatar and the fire prince can only keep Sei and the Dailluminati distracted for so long. "Pull the lever, Jet."

He gives pulls it up and a lantern begins moving around the track. "You like cabbages." She states in a soothing coo. "And you want to buy my cabbages."