One for Sorrow

Pairing: McRoll

Spoilers for season 10 - Episode 7

Chapter - 42

Meanwhile, at the same time that Steve and Danny were having a talk, Catherine had not only sensed that Steve needed to talk man to man to Danny, but she could also sense that Mary needed to talk woman to woman to her, so that was another reason for their slight change of scenery. The two of them headed down closer to the water and sat on the wooden chairs just near the edge of the sand, both had a beer in their hands.

"How are you holding up Mare?", Catherine asked in a soft low voice, her head turning slightly to gage Mary's reaction to her question. Shaking her head, she sipped on her beer and sighed, lowering it back down to her side.. "Right now, I'm feeling numb.. like I want to cry, but I just can't… I felt that way with Dad too".

It was her biggest regret, not attending her father's funeral.. She had managed to get herself back to Hawaii for it, but she just couldn't find the strength to be there in person.. Instead she had been on the beach all day getting high, making sure that Steve didn't know she was there because he wouldn't have been happy in the slightest knowing she had been there but still missed the funeral.

It was just her way of coping back then… She had turned to drugs from a young age, her Aunt Deb had tried to keep her on the straight and narrow, and it wasn't anything that Deb did wrong, it was just that feeling of abandonment, first her mother was killed, or so she thought, and then her father sent her and her older brother to the mainland, both to different places.. She had not seen her father again and she hadn't seen her brother since she came home shortly after the funeral.

It had taken Mary a long time to get her life sorted out, but once she had seen Steve, she knew she really needed to sort her life out and get back on the straight and narrow. She always was pride of Steve, and even though he didn't know, she had been there the day he graduated from the Naval academy. It was why she knew she had to earn his trust back, and work her way back into his life.. He was a decorated Naval officer and that was a big deal..

"I thought we would have had more time with her.. when Steve told me she was alive, I didn't want to see her.. I wanted to punish her for walking away from his all those years ago, but the moment that Morty told me I'd regret it if I didn't… I knew I had to see her.. and I don't regret letting her back in because I got to spend time with her, and see her as an adult, and see how she was with my daughter".

Nodding her head, she knew that was Steve's biggest thing as well.. They thought they would have more time with her..

"Steve did mention how he didn't want to make you feel you had to see her, but that he was extremely proud when you did come on your own terms.. He respects you and whatever you decided, he was ready to back you up".

Her hand came to rest on Mary's arm and she rubbed her arm softly and gently.. "You would have made her happy as well, knowing that both her son and daughter had given her a second chance, and I know how grateful that feeling is, because I've been there with you both as well, feeling grateful you both have given me a second chance.. I'm not saying that to try to change the subject, I just wanted to say I know how your mother would have felt".

Wiping away her tears, she smiled softly and nodded her head, "Mom loved you, and I know she and Dad would approve of you two trying again.. The last time I spoke to her, she mentioned how she hoped you would both see reason and get back together, that she just wanted her children and granddaughter to be happy".

Catherine couldn't help but tear up at those words.. She had been closer to Doris since she had joined the CIA and though Doris did mention to her often about how Catherine needed to understand that Doris did have regrets about how she had lived her life and faking her death even if it was for the most noblest causes, she knew it had consequences and she did have slight regrets about it.

"Doris mentioned to me that I should not waste too much time away from settling down and being with the one I love and I know she was hinting at my leaving the CIA, coming back here and settling down with Steve, that she had regrets and she didn't want to see me making the same mistakes and have the same regrets she had".

Sipping on her beer, Mary nodded her head and once she had swallowed her mouthful, keeping her gaze towards the water, she sighed softly. "I do know that was a major regret, I know she said to me she would do the same thing all over again, but yet she does still regret the way she did it all.. and I know she wants Steve", she smiled raising her voice just slightly, just changing the inflection just a little, "and you as well to be happy".

It did make her smile, and make her feel like Steve's parents really would have loved to have seen her as their daughter in law, "I appreciate you telling me this.. I also know Mary that your Mom wanted you and Joanie to be happy as well". She took a usb stick out of her pocket and handed it to Mary.. "Your mom gave me this, she told me that you would hopefully understand this more after her death.. It's a video she recorded.. one for you, one for Joanie and one for Steve".

Mary's hand went over her mouth in shock as se took the usb in her free hand, running her fingers over it, her tears welling in her eyes.. Catherine leaned in and pulled her future sister in law in for a hug, "I know it doesn't make it any easier, but lean on others Mary, I'm here, so is your brother.. Danny, the rest of five-o.. They are your family as well.. we're all here for you, I promise you that.. and Joanie, she is going to be one of the most spoiled children on the island with our Ohana".

The two women had always been close from the moment they first met, and it felt like they really forged a bond on this beach tonight.. Two women that loved Steve and wanted the best for him, both women knowing the other woman being in his life would make him the happiest and most settled he had ever been. "I love you Cath, never forget that", were the only words that Mary had to say.. She had heard things like a man's girlfriend and his sister would never get along and she worried that Steve's girlfriend would never accept her, but now after this conversation, she knew she had nothing to worry about..