Olivia and Abby meet up post bathroom break and head into the kitchen, just in time for their cousins Riley, Ryan, and Gwen coming in from the store. They greet each other excitedly with hugs and smiles, and it does Reva's heart good to hear them all laughing and chatting together like the days of old.
After putting up the groceries everyone gets to their assigned tasks; understanding the goal is to get all of the pies, cakes, cobblers and puddings made tonight. And have all of the meats prepped too; since they're going to be grilling and smoking ribs, brisket, and a turkey tomorrow.
Time flies by as the ladies chat about everything from the current political climate to their day to day lives. Sparing nothing in between. When a lull in conversation occurs, Riley asks, "So with both of you being pregnant; are you having the same pregnancy symptoms?"
Olivia and Abby look at each other, and Olivia shakes her head as she says, "No. I think we are both having different experiences right now. I haven't had any real illnesses. But, Abs has had nausea since she found out she was expecting." Abby nods as she responds, "God yes. It's terrible. I can't stand the smell of raw chicken, eggs, or even bacon. Can you believe it? Bacon, of all things!"
They all give her an empathetic sigh, as Gwen jokes as she replies, "Awe, that means your baby is going to be vegan." They all crack up as Abby responds, "Oh no. The devil is a lie." As the laughter settles Reva compassionately says, "Seriously, don't feel bad Red. Initially I had an issue with the smell of anything raw, when I was pregnant with Ron. But, after my first trimester, I was good to go. You may be the same way."
Abby nods as she replies, "I hope so. I have been drinking herbal teas, and I've found a few that work for me. But, they taste terrible." Gwen grins as she responds, "Yes. All of the nausea tea treatments are awful, even with honey." Abby adds, "Oh my goodness; you're so right. Nothing helps with the bitter, off putting after taste."
Reva nods in agreement as she uses a motherly tone replying, "You're both right. But, most medicine doesn't taste good. So, try focusing on the relief, not the taste." Olivia nods as she says, "Amen Auntie; because being nauseous is the worst. My biggest issue is staying awake these days. I'm always so tired. It's unreal."
Gwen nods as she replies, "Yes that's super common hon. your body is working hard; you're growing a human, so the process takes a lot out of you." Reva replies, "She's right. Both you and Abby have to be willing to listen to your bodies, and stop when your body tells you to stop. You can easily over work yourself. So just be mindful of how your feeling."
Welcoming the advice, Olivia says, "Thank you for the advice. It's much appreciated. With all the books we have both read, it's all a blur at times." Abby says, "Agreed. I've decided to start doing books on tape to help me remember stuff." Riley says, "That's a great idea Abby. But, what works the best is just letting yourself be, and experiencing what's unique to you and your pregnancy."
Reva adds, "She's right. No two pregnancies are the same for two different women, or a woman pregnant multiple times." Olivia asks, "So you're saying we should just go with the flow?" Riley replies, "Exactly, don't stress yourself out reading tons of books and articles about everything related to pregnancy. Because the truth is, babies don't come with hand books. And, they don't really run by a planned schedule anyway." Gwen claps her hands as she replies, "Girl you better preach. Every child and pregnancy are different, and you won't know what works for you, until it does."
Abby smiles as she says, "You have no idea how much sense you all are making right now. I swear I feel like I'm studying harder for this than I did the B.A.R." They all chuckle in response, and the laughter lifts the room. Thinking about post baby decisions, Gwen asks, out of curiosity, have you all thought about schools and where you're going to be raising the kids?"
Olivia smiles as she replies, "Is this house bugged or something? Abby and I were just talking about that before you all got here." Riley smiles as she responds, "Really?" Abby nods as she says, "Yes. Really. I think with the excitement of the pregnancies, we kind of forgot about the rearing part a bit."
Reva advises, "Well, you both have time to figure that part out. I wouldn't put much pressure on yourselves about it. There'll be time for that. Just focus on baking those muffins in your ovens to perfection." They all smile as Ryan says, "That's great advice mama. The last thing they need to do is stress themselves."
Gwen nods as she replies, "Yes. I totally agree. Having just had our last baby girl. I can concur, just the job of growing a human has its own stresses. Don't add anything unnecessary to the equation."
Both Abby and Olivia understand their points; but Olivia asks, "What about the comparison to raising a baby in the inner city verses here in Macon. There's a noticeable difference for sure."
Reva replies, "Yes. There is a difference Peaches. But, that's to be said for anywhere that you raise a child. The most important things you need to raise a child are found from within the parents, and have little to do with their zip code."
Gwen gives words of assurance as she adds, "She's right Liv. When we had the boys, we lived in Charlotte, and it was great. If Ronnie hadn't gotten the job here in Macon, we'd still be there. Good parents can raise their kids anywhere, and the kids will be just fine."
Riley nods and smiles as she chimes in replying, "So both of you don't have anything to worry about, because you're both going to be great moms, and your husbands are going to be wonderful fathers."
Abby hears their encouraging words, but still asks, "How do you know we'll be good parents? This is going to be both of our firsts?" Reva smiles as she replies, "The fact that you are both concerned about doing a great job as moms tells us you're going to be phenomenal parents."
Gwen nods as she adds, "Yes. You're asking questions and getting prepared. Having a plan is half the battle." Olivia asks, "What's the other half?" Riley replies, "Using your resources and understanding that plans are meant to change as needed. Take it from me, it doesn't pay to get caught up in what it looks like, or things being perfect. That's a trap that doesn't exist." Reva grins as a proud mother as she says, "You tellem baby. It's not about being perfect, it's about getting it right for you and your family."
They all smile as Reva dotes on her daughter and Riley noticeably grins, appreciating her mother's support. It's then that both Abby and Olivia recall Riley's struggle with post-partum when she had her last baby.
Although it was a rough bout, she conquered it like a champ and she's doing very well. They can all feel the heaviness of the conversation, but there's no sadness, just understanding of what Riley managed to navigate through.
Breaking the silence Ryan says, "I think us as women put far too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in everything we do, because we are always judged the harshest by each other and ourselves. And, it needs to stop." Reva replies, "Yes Lord. You're telling the truth there baby girl. But we have the power to change that."
Riley asks, "How is that mama?" She replies, "By learning to cut the strings attached to what society says makes you a perfect parent. Because as you just said baby, that image doesn't exist." Olivia nods as she says, "That makes allot of sense Auntie. Seeking outside approval for how you see yourself and your family can be problematic in its own right."
Gwen agrees as she replies, "Yes. It can be. Because nobody but you and your family knows what it is to live under your roof, and know what works for you and your family unit." Abby nods as she says, "Agreed. It's all enough to drive you to drink." Ryan playfully replies, "Well it will be a while before you and Liv will have that privilege again." Olivia shakes her head as she responds, "Don't remind me. The struggle is real." They chuckle as Riley asks, "What about you Abby?" She sighs as she replies, "I actually don't miss it. In fact, that's another scent that makes me sick to my stomach."
They all react with groans as Gwen says, "Oh wow. You know on second thought; with you reacting to smells this early, so strongly. If the teas aren't enough. You could also ask your doctor for medication. It's not harmful for the baby." Abby replies, "I thought about that, but I am trying not to take much while pregnant, even if it's supposed to be safe."
Riley nods, "That's understandable. If you can tolerate it, then do it. But, if it becomes too much. Don't try to be a hero Abby. Take the meds." Abby appreciates her insistence of doing what works best, verses what she may want to do. And says, "I hear you Ri. I promise, if I need to. I will." She smiles at her as she replies, "Good."
Reva puts a button on the conversation as she replies, "Girls, the last thing I will say about this is you have to take everything as it comes. Everything you know as it is right now is going to change, and there's nothing you can do about it, except adjust."
