Author's Note: So, in an attempt to learn more about personalities of characters I never actually played in my playthroughs of Awakening, I've come to realize that Ricken is… a lot more complex and deep than I gave him credit for. I feel bad he has, like, no screentime on here. Then again, with the cast growing every chapter, it gets kinda hard to keep up with everyone.

Also, man… I need to bring back some characters that I had in here. As the cast grows (as is natural for a Fire Emblem game), I'm finding I'm having trouble giving significant screentime to everyone. I wrote the Lissa scene last chapter because I felt bad how absent she's been. Miriel and Virion need screentime, too. Donnel as well, although he's probably flocked by seven girls. Ricken and Maribelle's hardly had any screentime. Kellem is barely seen (no pun intended). Stahl has had, like, three lines. Vaike's biggest contribution to the story was peeping on the girls. Sully hasn't been around in a damn minute.

Sophia, despite being kinda integral to a side storyline I have developing, hardly has been around lately as well. Robin and Elise seem to have kinda been relegated to the occasional scene, and both of them are also integral to both the plot of the game and of this story.

… like, darn, I want to develop everyone and give them equal love and screentime, but… now the story just added Olivia, Tharja, and Libra. Gotta figure out how to fit them in as well. Then next comes Cherche and Henry and, well, theoretically Lucina joins next, but that one got put in out of order… man… how… am I going to fit everyone in? Not to mention paralogue characters like Anna (and Tiki? I forget if Tiki was story or paralogue… I'll find out when I get to that point, I guess). I don't want to leave everyone out. And that's just the first generation. When the kids start popping in, I'm really going to have a fun time trying to figure out how to balance everyone's screentime.

… and I don't want to do what I did with the other story and just pick five characters and feature only them with occasional cameos by other characters. I want to try to give everyone equal love, despite the very un-social nature of our protagonist.

Also, may or may not be a Friday chapter this week. We'll see how it goes.

Chapter 19
Staff Meeting

I woke up to see it was still dark outside, but the creeping tendrils of light on the horizon meant daybreak was approaching. Today was Chrom's announcement and in the afternoon there would be services for Exalt Emmeryn's funeral. I heard what sounded like a light snore behind me. I rolled over to see Marth was laying on the floor behind me with the other pillow. Her back was to me and curled up slightly. Why was she down here? She rolled over in her sleep and I noticed a string of drool trailing down the side of her mouth.

Charming.

I quietly got up and changed into my old outfit, not really feeling like wearing battle armor this morning. I kept taking glances to make sure I didn't wake her or that she didn't wake up while I was halfway done changing. I went to the mess hall to find they hadn't started making breakfast yet. I started asking around when breakfast would be started. However, without a definitive answer that would quell the beast brewing inside, rumbling with the intensity of a thousand angry bears, I departed from the mess hall. I ventured into town to see if there was a place that served food at this hour.

As I walked through town, I unconsciously ended up at the bakery where Lissa and I got bear claws, one of which I gave one to Marth. The bakery that Gaius was banned from. The bakery where Cordelia and I first met and had our conversation, before Chrom came and interrupted us. I saw a blue, bushy mass standing in front of the bakery, already in her regular outfit. When did she find the time to wake up, change, and get here before me? Pretty sure she didn't bring that into the room with her. Unless she brought it in after I fell asleep last night.

How does she get into such an elaborate outfit, anyway?

I smelled pastries. My stomach made a huge rumbling sound and I saw Marth turn toward me.

"Somehow I knew you would be coming here," she said. I pointed to her hair.

"M-morning, M-Marth. Your hair is a mess," I commented.

"… as if you were the scion of pristine beauty right now," she countered.

"Fair enough," I replied. Tapping my coin bag, more out of habit than actual worry of finances, I walked in to the bakery with Marth and walked up to the ordering counter.

"Hello, how may I help you?" the young lady asked with a big smile. I was startled for a moment. Something about this person felt familiar, but I can definitely vouch for saying I've never seen her here before. Still, something about her mannerisms unnerved me.

"A cup of coffee, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, and a sweet cream cheese croissant," I replied. She smiled widely at me and took my order.

"Your name?" she asked.

"Raven," I replied. She looked at me for a second, as if surprised at something.

"Like the bird?" she asked.

"Yes, like the bird," I automatically replied, before she nodded. I wonder if Robin gets this all the time as well.

She finished writing down the order and took it to the kitchen. I sat at the counter reserved for eating and stared around the shop while Marth went to the counter to put her order in. That spot was where Chrom and Lissa first found us in here. That other spot was where Cordelia was standing when she was introduced before I noticed her disappear a few minutes later.

I… shouldn't drown in memories like this. Think about the happy times. Think about how she brightened up when Chrom asked her out.

… maybe not the best memory. I sighed at that as well. Beat to the punch. Not like it matters. How petty and insignificant that feels now, when compared to the fact that now she's not around at all anymore. It… really puts life into perspective.

"I hear Prince Chrom has an announcement at noon. Any idea what it might be about?" the girl asked after returning from the kitchen. I shrugged my shoulders. I saw Marth still trying to work out her order with the other waitress.

"It's… good and bad news," I simply replied. "I'm not sure if I should talk about it."

"Wait… you're… one of the Shepherds, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I am," I said quietly, staring at a bear claw behind the counter.

"Oh… I apologize. I didn't recognize you!" she said quickly.

"No, no, it's fine. I prefer to keep to myself. It's understandable," I said as I looked to her and gave her a half-hearted smile. "It's not often I'm seen in public anyway. I like to keep to my room."

"Oh, well, any particular reason you came into town today?" she asked.

"Mess hall didn't have food ready. Didn't feel like waiting in the castle. There's… much to process in my head," I replied.

"Well, look, whatever the announcement is… we all know you did your best. And we all know you will continue doing your best. Prince Chrom? The Shepherds? Each of us here respects all that you do, for us here in Ylisstol and those out in the countryside. So, even if something bad happened… even if someone made a mistake… just think of all the good that happened as well. We are, after all, human," she said encouragingly. I looked up to her and smiled.

"Thanks… uh… I don't even know your name," I said.

"It's Nicolette," she replied.

"Well, it was a pleasure talking to you. Thank you for that," I said with a smile. "Are you new here? I don't recognize you, and I'm sure I'd recognize most of the workers here."

I mused to myself as I looked at her. Long, bushy dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, slightly shorter than me.

"I have been working here for the past three weeks, so I don't know if that qualifies as new. But, if this is our first time meeting, I might as well be new!" she replied with a small laugh. In a way, she kinda looks a bit like me if I was female… and had blue eyes instead of brown… and if I had longer hair. I wonder if, by any chance, we were related, even distantly.

"Did you move here from anywhere?" I asked.

"Not really. I've lived in Ylisstol for… most of my life," she replied, although I noticed she started staring at the bear claw behind the counter as well.

"Do you like bear claws?" I asked.

"Oh, do I! They're second only to chocolate croissants!" she said excitedly. "Your friend seems to be having trouble ordering a chocolate croissant and figuring out what to eat for breakfast, it seems."

"Heh, well, she'll figure it out eventually. Here, you can take that bear claw. On me," I said with a warm smile.

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly…" she said back.

"… it's fine. Really. I enjoy doing good things for other people. If everyone could do a good act like that once in a while, this world would be so much better," I said with a smile. She gave me a look of admiration and a big smile.

"Never thought about it like that. You know, I'm glad I got to meet you today, Raven," she said.

"Likewise, Nicolette," I replied with a smile. I looked down at the ground and sighed.

"Hey, don't you suddenly go looking like that," she said encouragingly.

"Sorry. I just… I'm thinking about the last mission we went on and wondering if I could have done more. I probably could have done more. I might have been able to prevent things that happened from happening if I was just more proficient at what I do," I blurted out. I jumped in shock when she grabbed my hands.

"Listen, that's quitter talk. You're not a quitter. You're one of the gosh darn Shepherds! You get to travel around the country with Prince Chrom, protecting the people of this nation from bandits and mercenaries and people outside this nation who want to hurt its citizens!" she said enthusiastically. I smiled a bit at her enthusiasm.

"Thanks, Nicolette. You know, for being a stranger, you sure know how to cheer me up," I said with a smile. I paused for a second and noticed a mark on her hand that was half covered by her glove. That mark… it kinda looks familiar. Where have I seen it before?

"Hey, uh, if you don't mind me asking…" I asked. She noticed where I was looking and quickly pulled her hands back before pulling her gloves down to cover the rest of it.

"Long story. Maybe I can tell you another day. Your food's ready and my shift is almost over," she said hurriedly.

"Well, um, okay then. Sorry," I said hesitantly. That was awfully forward of me to ask about something like that.

"No, not your fault! It's just a reminder of something that happened in the past. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest, Raven!" she said with a smile. Sounds like something I'd say.

"You as well," I replied with a small smile before turning my attention to the food. That was… honestly… uplifting. Perhaps things weren't as gloomy as I made it out to be. Yes, it was going to be somber later, but… we just need to focus on the good that's happening. Just focus on the good, keep pushing forward, and everything will be okay.

I saw Marth begin walking over with an embarrassed look on her face.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"… it had been so long of ordering the same thing from here that I forgot what half of the stuff was called. I usually just walked in and they knew what to make me," she said apologetically. "Also, I forgot I had to pay for things."

"You don't pay for things in the future?" I asked.

"… being the right hand to the general has its perks," she replied.

"Wait, so… how did you pay for your meal now?"

"I said I was with you and she nodded in acknowledgement. I figured if I mentioned I was with a Shepherd, they'd be more lenient," she said. I groaned to myself. I guess I was paying for her breakfast, too.

"Order for… El?" the waitress asked. Marth raised her hand and the waitress, Nicolette, brought it over.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure! Enjoy," she replied before hurrying off to another patron.

"El? Is that your name?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But I couldn't really tell them my name was Marth, could I?" she asked.

"True. Where did 'El' come from, then?" I asked.

"I can't tell you that," she replied.

"… inferring how incredibly talented you seem to be at being creative and naming things, I would hazard a guess that 'El' is the first letter of your name. An 'L'!" I said with a triumphant smile.

"… there are times I wonder if perhaps you should have been Chrom's advisor sooner than later," Marth commented.

"Oh, so I was right! Is it Lorietta? Please tell me it's Lorietta!" I said enthusiastically. She frowned at me.

"It most certainly is not," she said sternly.

"Oh well… but, anyway, how incredibly creative of you. You are the paragon of innovative nicknames! That'd be like if someone named Jill called themselves 'Jay'," I jokingly said. I could see her turning red from embarrassment and frustration.

"I can punch you again," she commented. I cringed and quickly quieted down.

"Whatever you say… El," I commented with a smirk.

My shoulder wouldn't stop throbbing for the entire rest of our breakfast.

I finished my meal and left an extra big tip for the intriguing server I had. Nicolette, was it? Thank you for helping this random stranger cheer up. Marth and I walked out of the bakery as I was still rubbing my pulsing shoulder.

"Jeez, El, you know how to punch hard," I said.

"Would you please stop calling me that!" she said in exasperation.

"It's simpler than calling you 'Marth'. So, where to next, El?" I replied. She cracked her knuckles as she glared at me.

"I have always been a fan of balance and making things equal," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You have two shoulders. It's a shame only one is getting attention," she said firmly. I took the hint.

"… you spoil my fun, Marth," I said with a frown.

"I'm not here for your entertainment," she replied.

"It doesn't hurt to have a bit of fun. Lighten up, and all that," I said.

"If it doesn't hurt, why are you rubbing your shoulder?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"You know what? I… ugh, nevermind. I'm heading back to the castle. Are you coming with?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I want to explore this city a bit more. I want to see what it was like before it became a shelter for humanity," she said, although she was quiet about it.

"… what's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, I'm trying to remember what in this city was free to the public…" she said before trailing off. I sighed and pulled out gold from my bag.

"Go," I said as I held them out.

"No," she replied sternly.

"I'm afraid that I am a person who only accepts positivity. Your negative response is rejected," I said. She looked at me as if I was crazy.

"… I…" she began.

"What is it?" I asked.

"… I feel I repeat myself sometimes, so I won't say it," she said.

"Just say it," I said.

"… what happened to you?" she asked, although it seemed more to herself than to me.

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't the you I know. This is nothing like you. What… what happened to you to turn you into the Sir Raven I knew of my childhood? What could possibly have morphed you into that person?" she asked. I sighed to myself.

"… you said the Shepherds all died, except for Chrom and I," I clarified.

"Yes."

"… Cordelia's death hit me hard. Perhaps I was closer to her than many of the other Shepherds, but… I could not imagine if I lost all of them. Then to be responsible for all of humanity, leading them down roads to decisions that had no right way out, while the threat of the Risen were pounding at my doors…? Even trying to imagine it makes me feel scared and helpless," I said.

"Scared and helpless? You were anything but," she replied.

"… I also happen to be a good actor," I commented. She paused for a second before taking the gold from my hand.

"Thank you."

"Enjoy yourself, Marth. I… will be in the training grounds," I said. We gave our farewells before I returned to the palace. We made our way to the training grounds to work on my forms to pass time until the fateful announcement. It wasn't time to mope and wallow in despair. It was time to redouble my efforts. If I ever was to be caught in another situation like that again, I need to be able to save the life I couldn't before.

Marth told me that there were many times I went on missions with the Shepherds and they died in front of me, yet I always survived. If that version of me had the skill to survive and escape, then this version of me needs more skill to survive and escape with everyone alive.

After a while, I heard the tolling of the bell in the town market. That was the signal of an announcement from the royal family. I made my way to the town square near the castle, hoping and praying Chrom would stay strong in this announcement. I managed to make my way to where the Shepherds were supposed to be. I watched the crowd grow more and more before me, a throng of people anxious to see what this urgent announcement was.

Chrom nodded to us and walked to the podium. Already, this had the people muttering. Where was the exalt? Why was the prince addressing us?

"Ladies and gentlemen of Ylisstol, I bring you two pieces of news. First, though, I would like to extend my condolences to everyone here who lost a loved one during Plegia's invasion of the capital. When given the option to escape to survive or stand by her people, my sister chose to stay here in Ylisstol to ensure the people always had their leader by them. She stayed here and offered herself peacefully, from what I was told, and yet… Plegia still saw fit to ransack this city and take even more needless lives. That was an unforgivable atrocity that will not easily be forgotten."

I could hear the angered murmurs through the crowd. Ylisstol was hit harder than we thought when we returned to see the city in the condition it was in.

"Furthermore, King Gangrel of Plegia… he… in a twisted notion of avenging his people for the wrongdoings of the previous exalt, he… he… he intended to take the life of Exalt Emmeryn in a public execution. However, before he could have his wish granted, the exalt herself gave her life in a noble sacrifice. Exalt Emmeryn… has perished."

Chrom choked out that last line and had to take a step back as a shocked silence rang through the crowd, the lack of noise oppressively pushing upon our ears, threatening us to do anything to break it. The only sounds that were eventually heard were the sounds of people gradually realizing she was dead and beginning to mourn her.

… truly, a land that once hated her when she was crowned because of the sins of her father now unite in solidarity to mourn her passing. If only she could see now what impact she had upon her people…

"However, before you begin harboring notions or ill-will against Plegia, I would… like to announce that the deed has already been done. King Gangrel has been defeated, his forces are scattered, and Plegia has surrendered. The war has ended before it had a chance to get rolling… before more innocent lives could be sacrificed… before more innocent blood could be shed. It is done. We now only have to look forward, to the future, and what lies ahead of us in our quest to rebuild this nation. We may be without my sister in person, but she lives on… in each and every single one of us. Let us go forth and make Ylisse greater than it was before."

There was a bit of a murmur from the crowd, before I heard the rhythmic sound of a chant that kept growing and refused to die. It was the sound of people knowing what they wanted before everything else. It was the sound of people expressing their honest to goodness thoughts. It was a chant that went from barely being heard to drowning out everything that dared to sound against it.

"Exalt Chrom! Exalt Chrom! Exalt Chrom!"

I saw Chrom, upon hearing this and hearing the absolute support he had from the people, shed a few tears and took a step back. As the cheers subsided, I saw him get back to the podium.

"… hearing that brings me great joy. I may not be my sister, but I will do my solemn best to lead the people of this nation. You all have spoken… professed your faith and hope that I will lead you to success. I… will do my best to not disappoint," Chrom announced. "For those of you who wish to attend… we will be holding a memorial service for my sister this afternoon. Thank you… and… may Naga bless your souls from this day forth."

Chrom turned from the podium and started to leave as the crowd began to chant again. Did everyone forget Emmeryn that fast? Or were people trying to show their support for Chrom in his trying time by trying to show they were behind him? Those were… questions to ponder for later. The Shepherds followed Chrom back to the castle grounds as we prepared for the funeral of the exalt.

I returned to my room to see someone had tidied up a bit. I noticed a package was sitting on the bed with a little note attached on the bed. I opened up the note.

"It isn't much, but thought the room could use some life. –El"

I smiled a bit to myself as I started to open the package. Maybe I could chance turning that into a nickname for her, despite the protests from my shoulders saying otherwise. I felt cloth, much to my surprise. Oh my… what the heck was this? She wasn't serious, could she?

I unfolded the cloth and was greeted with what appeared to be a curtain for the window. But… it was… lemon yellow with pastel pink polka dots. She couldn't possibly be serious.

… at least she got me a curtain rod as well. I spent the next hour working on getting the rod up and the curtain hung. As hideous as it was, it was still something… and a marginal improvement over having nothing there in the first place.

Nothing much was said or done between the announcement and the funeral. What could we say? What could we do? Comfort Chrom as much as we could in his time of loss, but… Chrom seemed adamant that he was fine. Which was our red flag that he wasn't fine, but we could only do so much without him letting us in to help. It appears only Robin was really able to get through to him and the two of them disappeared for a while to have a talk.

As the time for the funeral rolled around, the cathedral began filling up with citizens. People lined up outside of the cathedral at the windows or stood in the aisles, or just tried to stay in the general vicinity. Everyone wanted to be there to give one final farewell to the exalt. As the priest conducted the last rites for Emmeryn, the people walked by her casket to give their final blessings. It was an empty and closed casket, but the symbolism was enough for the people to continue with their tradition.

I sat near Chrom, as did Robin and Elise. Most of the Shepherds were also nearby, but they were also keeping an eye on the crowd to ensure nothing happened. It might have been excessive, but Frederick insisted that we make sure this whole process went without a hitch.

As the minutes and hours passed, I could see Chrom getting more and more antsy and stressed, seeing the never-ending line of people walk by the coffin to pay their respects. It… was a touching scene and the sentimentality was not lost upon me, but I began to truly worry for Chrom's mind. It was only a matter of time before he broke under the stress of keeping this mask up.

"Chrom," I said quietly.

"Raven, I'm fine," he immediately replied.

"You didn't even let me ask," I said.

"I don't need to. I appreciate everyone's concern, but I'm fine. I just… want to move forward. To the future. To build upon her legacy and her dream and to continue down the path she was travelling."

"You can do it, Chrom. I know it…"

"I will do my best."

"I know you will, Chrom. We will do our best to support you. We are the Shepherds, after all."

"It… is very much appreciated, Raven," he replied with a smile. I know we had this conversation multiple times, but it just needed to be said and reaffirmed.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye Marth was peeking into the room from the doorway nearby and was looking at me, trying to get my attention. I made eye contact with her and saw her try to wave me over.

"Um… I'll be right back, Chrom."

"Take your time, Raven…"

I walked away to the door Marth was peeking into and went through the doorway to enter an empty hallway. I thought she was here? I looked around and saw her peeking her head out from a doorway and waving me over. Curious, but a little wary, I walked over to where she was and entered the room. It was a smaller room in the cathedral, probably used for some sort of school services for students during the week.

"Raven."

"El."

"Don't call me that."

"Fine. What is it, Marth? Is there a reason for this?"

"There is," she replied. "Selena returned just recently. In her research, she discovered something that was lost in our time."

"Lost in your time?" I asked.

"There was rumor of a powerful staff, but when we tried to find it in our time, we found it was already gone. According to Selena, that staff exists in this time and it is in the location it is rumored to be," Marth said.

"… what does this staff do? Cure ailments? Heal injuries without wearing down magic?" I asked.

"… it can bring back to life someone who passed recently. The Aum Staff can bring Exalt Emmeryn back to life, if we can find it," Marth said.

What.

"Wait. What?! Are you trying to tell me you knew this existed and you NEVER bothered to tell me?" I growled in frustration.

"We didn't know for sure, Sir Raven! I swear," she said as she flinched and took an unconscious step back. I paused for a second. That…

"Marth. What… was that reaction," I said.

"I… just had a flashback of a moment that passed between us in the past," she said in a flat tone of voice as she avoided eye contact. I frowned at her.

"That was more than a flashback, Marth. That looked like fear."

"I don't want to talk about it. You are not him," she said firmly. "We are straying off-topic."

"… so this Aum Staff has the ability to bring people back from the dead?" I asked.

"It exists in this time on an island south of the continent in an area called the Outrealm Gate," she explained quietly.

"So, we can… bring back Emmeryn, and restore things back to how they were. We can officially take another step forward in preventing the future you lived in from happening," I said with a small smile.

"Indeed. That would appear to be the case," she said quietly.

"Why exactly are you telling me this now, out of curiosity?" I asked.

"I… was hoping you could come with us. I have no idea the dangers of this area and, might I admit, I am a little apprehensive about just Selena and I going by ourselves. If we encounter danger that we cannot handle, we would disappear and none would be the wiser. Should something happen to Chrom, the future could come to pass," she said.

"Nothing will happen to Chrom," I said.

"You cannot guarantee that," she said.

"Why don't you believe what I say? I would gladly give my life for Chrom!" I vehemently said. Her glare bore into my eyes and drilled into my soul, as if something snapped within her. She grabbed my tunic, never once breaking eye contact.

"The last time you claimed something like that to me, you still stand here and Exalt Emmeryn still fell to her death!" she said angrily. I recoiled slightly, expecting another punch to the face like that night. She gave a look of surprise and guilt and let me go.

"I… forgive me," she said as she looked to the ground.

"Marth…"

"No, that… I shouldn't… I'm… not the best with words," she said.

"Seems to be a theme around this place. Between Chrom and Lissa and… Cordelia, even…" I said as I trailed off.

"You and Cordelia were close," she remarked, remembering our discussion last night.

"We were…" I replied. "Can we… not talk about that?"

"Of course," she said in a sympathetic tone. She immediately put her hand on her head and winced slightly in pain.

"That headache… is it still bothering you?" I asked.

"With each day that passes, it grows stronger and stronger. There will come a day where I will not be able to function because of however strong it gets," she said. "This is why we must hurry. I do not know how much longer I have."

"Marth, you should get that checked out," I said.

"No."

"Marth, please."

"No!"

"Look, if you're worried about anyone finding out, don't worry about it. I can make something up," I said.

"No! Why, Raven. Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"… because I care about you, Marth. I don't even know your damn name, but… I care about you. Maybe you don't care about yourself because you left your future behind to help us here. Maybe you're happy giving up your life if it means we survive and are happy. Maybe you're feeling content with the idea you have no value and we do. Unfortunately, I can't live with that. You deserve to be happy as much as we do, okay? So, sorry if I'm treating you like a friend that I care about, but too bad," I said firmly.

"You… consider me a friend?" she asked.

"… would I let you sleep with me if I didn't?" I asked. "I don't just trust strangers."

"… you and I… friends…" she mused aloud.

"What, you think that's stupid? I'm not your teacher anymore. We're practically the same age. If anything, at this point in time, you could be my teacher. I could learn a thing or two about technique and dueling concepts," I said.

"I… would be honored to be your friend," she said with a small smile. "I know we have had our differences, but… I am glad we talked them through. I am glad we worked them out for the good of the future."

"Indeed. So, this staff that you're looking for, you said is in the Outrealm Gate?" I asked as I walked to the door.

"Yes, Raven, we will be travelling to an appropriate port, by which we will acquire a ship to travel to the island upon which the gate is supposed to be located. From there, we will begin our search. I cannot stress enough the importance of this mission," she said.

"You can count on me. I will do my best. Uh, how much should I tell them?" I asked.

"As much as you think is necessary to get some to join. Be selective about who you ask as well. I do not want every single Shepherd on the mission. We will need some to stay behind to assist Chrom with rebuilding this nation and ensure no harm befalls him. We cannot have any distractions hindering our progress," she replied.

"You know, I still need to ask Chrom if I can have time off to help you on this mission," I said.

"If you tell him the truth, I'm sure he will give you the time you need," she said.

"The truth? You know I can't tell the whole truth. It would be disaster for you," I said.

"You can tell him the truth about the purpose of the mission," she replied. I nodded and walked to the door.

"When do we depart?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning," she replied. I nodded.

"Very well. I shall see who I can get to accompany us," I said. I opened the door to the room and walked out into the hallway. I returned by Chrom's side with a few of the other Shepherds as we watched the line dwindle down.

"Everything okay?" Chrom asked as I sat back down.

"Yes. Had to use the bathroom," I replied.

"A luxury I would love to indulge in," he replied quietly.

"That's… a basic human need," I replied.

"I will after the crowd disperses. I must stay here and remain strong in front of the people," he said. I nodded in reply. He's taking this whole thing seriously.

After a short time, the last person went to pay their respects to the fallen exalt. After the last person exited the cathedral, Chrom quickly got up and rushed off. A few of the Shepherds gave a weird look, but I waved my hand.

"He… has to run to the bathroom," I said.

"My observation had put me under the convincing impression that he desired privacy in order to maintain the façade of unbreakable leadership," Miriel commented. Donnel nodded in agreement.

"That… might be a factor as well," I replied quietly. I saw the Shepherds begin to slowly file out of the room.

"Miriel, might I… have a word with you? You and Donnel both, even. After the rest of them leave," I said quietly to her. She understood because she hovered slightly behind the group, making it seem like she was observing the stained glass windows of the building. How… clever. The rest of the Shepherds left the room and I waved Miriel and Donnel over.

"I would like to ask you two of a favor," I said.

"What kinda favor ya need?" Donnel asked.

"I still have to run it by Chrom for approval, but I was asked if I could go on a mission and to hand-pick certain Shepherds to come along, if they wished," I said.

"What parameters dictated your conclusion to inquire for our assistance?" Miriel asked.

"The mission involves potentially acquiring what appears to be some sort of ancient, legendary magical item. I can give you more details if you choose to come along and after we depart. I cannot give too many details right now," I said. "I figured you two, since you're scholarly and are huge wells of knowledge, would be a huge boon to our journey. Not to mention, this benefits you as you would be able to observe something in person that you would not have otherwise."

"Hmm, that sounds mighty fine, but ya think Chrom'll be fine with it?" Donnel asked.

"I can ask in a way that he'd most likely accept," I replied.

"You are not going unless I come along."

The three of us turned to the voice and I saw Elise peek out from behind a chair.

"Elise? Why are you spying on us?" I asked.

"… I noticed your peculiar behavior as well as your hushed conversation with Miriel prior to the Shepherds leaving. I reasoned it was related to the reason Marth waved you out of the room earlier," Elise explained.

"You saw her wave me out?" I asked.

"… goodness, Raven, I lost my memory, not my eyesight," Elise said in exasperation.

"… Chrom didn't notice," I said.

"Well, Chrom is Chrom," Elise countered. Fair point.

"It appears us three will be goin' with ya on yer quest!" Donnel said.

"Hold on, I have to ask Chrom first," I said quickly. "I will ask him as soon as I see him."

"Very well," Miriel said.

"I'll relay the news to you guys as soon as I know. We do depart tomorrow morning, so just be sure you're ready for that," I said. "I'm going to go find Chrom."

The three of them nodded in acknowledgement as I left the room. I began wandering around the cathedral, trying to find Chrom. That was a long bathroom break.

I started searching room after room after room, and kept finding nothing and yielding zero results. I started to get more and more frustrated with my inability to find the blue-haired prince.

"Everything good, Shady?"

I turned to see Gaius hovering nearby.

"Not really. I needed to talk with Chrom about something," I said.

"Oh, he's in the bathroom," Gaius replied.

"Oh… still?" I asked. Gaius shrugged.

"Everything fine with you?" he asked.

"Of course. What do you mean?"

"Shady, you were smitten with that red-headed beauty and… it's most likely she was smitten with you as well. It's my job to read people and, even though I frighteningly have trouble reading you most of the time, I could see at least that," he said. "Look, ain't my place to judge or offer advice, but you gotta bite down, grit your teeth, and push forward. It's the only way you can honor her."

"Heh, Gaius… thanks," I said with a small smile. "It's encouraging to see you giving advice here and helping out. Already a full-blown Shepherd."

"Chrom welcomed me as a full member and even said he'd lift my ban on the bakery," Gaius replied.

"Still, I'm a man of my word. The first few treats are on me," I said.

"I thought you might have forgotten in all this chaos going on," he said.

"Not a chance. I would feel terrible if I turned my back on a promise I made."

"Mm, might have to get you a new nickname then, Shady."

"I… actually have grown fond of it, to be honest."

"Oh, hello Gaius. Hello, Raven," Chrom said as he turned a corner. He seemed to be in a better mood.

"Ah, Chrom! There you are. I… was hoping I could have a word with you," I said.

"I'll be around," Gaius said as he walked off. Chrom nodded.

"What is it?"

"Chrom, uh, not sure how to ask this, but I'll just be direct. Is it possible for me to have a bit of time to pursue a lead? A project of sorts?" I asked.

"… what do you mean?" he asked. I bit my lip for a second, trying to figure out how to explain without giving him any potential false hope.

"Marth has a lead on something that could potentially be extremely useful for us in the future. It might be nothing, but it might also be something that could swing everything in our favor. I… would go into detail, but I don't want to be giving you any ideas or false hopes," I said.

"Just tell me. I would rather know what kind of mission I would be sending you on," Chrom said.

"Mission you would be sending me on?" I asked.

"… Marth has given me no reason to mistrust her and you always have the best of intentions at heart," Chrom said. "So, I know this mission you're about to embark upon… I know you mean well when you say you want to embark upon it. I just would prefer to know what I might be sending you into."

"Oh, well, um, Marth believes she found the location of the Aum Staff. It's an anci—"

"The Aum Staff?!" he asked incredulously.

"You know of it?" I asked.

"It's a legendary staff that can be used to revive those who had died recently. Are you…" he said, but he couldn't get the words out.

"We were going to bring it back and use it to… bring back your sister," I said. "She… should be here for you. To help you. To guide you. Or even, to take a step back and advise you, if that's what you two agree upon. Or… if you didn't want it used for that, then… we could save it for something catastrophic. Perhaps save it should something unfortunate befall you or Lissa in the future. The point being, we're going to follow up to find it and use it for the improvement of… well, life on this land."

"… I… thank you, Raven. I will approve of this and, although I will try not to have much hope, I will still wish for your success," he replied.

"I may be needing some additional people as well," I said.

"You can take a few Shepherds with you," he replied.

"I would like Miriel, Donnel, and Elise," I said. "Maybe Gaius as well if he wants to come along. We could always use someone of his skillset."

"How about Frederick or Robin?" he asked.

"I would prefer them to stay by your side and guide you through this time of transition and rebuilding," I replied. He made a sound of acknowledgement.

"Very well. Good luck out there. When did Marth say she wanted to depart?" Chrom asked.

"Tomorrow morning," I replied.

"Then, if I don't see you by then, safe travels. May Naga be with you," he said.

"And to you as well. I have faith in you to continue to inspire this nation to rebuild," I said in reply. He smiled a bit.

"Your faith in my abilities, I feel may be unwarranted and unjustified, but I will do my best to meet your expectations," he said.

"… and I will do my best to alleviate your sorrows. With this mission, I vow that unto you, my prince and my friend," I said with a small bow.

"It is appreciated," he said. I stood up and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Well, if you will excuse me… I will have to return to my room. I need to pack and prepare and get some sleep," I said.

"Go, get ready, and good luck," he said.

"Thank you, Chrom," I said before departing back to my room. I looked around and began packing up. I changed into my nighttime outfit and packed both of my battle outfits. I looked up at the window to see that ridiculous polka dot curtain on the window. I chuckled to myself, in spite of how this whole situation was. Two funerals in two days, a massive reconstruction… and I'm here chuckling over pink polka dot curtains in my window.

I looked at the part of the floor where I fell asleep and Marth soon joined me, and a part of me was hoping she would be back for tonight. Chrom had gotten her a room for her to stay in, but I thought perhaps… she would enjoy seeing these curtains hanging in the window. I gave her money to spend for herself and enjoy the town… and she ended up spending that money back for me.

I laid down in bed and looked at the two pillows. I never used to sleep with two pillows. Not until I caught Cordelia talking about it as if she did it herself. I tried it once and never looked back. Now I do it in her memory.

I fell asleep as the weight of the past few days slowly caught up with me.

I woke up the next day as if only a few seconds passed. I still felt a little fatigued, but I saw the sun slowly start to creep up on the horizon through the window. I slowly got out of bed, changed into my battle outfit, and packed my sleeping outfit away in the bag. I went to the common bathroom in the castle and took a quick bath, freshening myself up. If I was going on a long journey, at least I should start it cleaned up.

I returned to my room and took one last walk around to make sure everything was packed. Alternate outfits for sleep and mood, good. Snacks for the journey, packed and ready. Journal? I patted the front pocket of the bag and felt it sitting there. Good.

There was a knocking on my door. Odd. Who could be knocking this early in the morning? I opened the door and saw Lissa standing there.

"Raven?" she asked. Uh, yeah, who else would it be?

"Lissa, um, hello. Good morning," I said to her.

"Good morni—what in Naga's name are those curtains?" she asked incredulously. "You really do need help shopping for decorations."

"Nothing. I don't mind them. They have a... unique charm," I said evasively. Why am I defending them? They ARE hideous! "Everything okay? It's not like you to be awake this early, let alone knocking on my door."

"Where are you going?" she asked me directly, pointing to the bag I had.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked her.

"Chrom tells me you're leaving for a bit to do something personal? Where… are you going?" she asked firmly.

"… I need to take some time off to help with a mission," I said quietly.

"No, Raven, not this time. Please, tell me where you're going. I don't… want you to just disappear. If you died and I wasn't there, I don't know what to do with myself! Please don't leave me, Raven… please don't leave me…" she pleaded.

"I'm not dying, Lissa. I'm just going on a mission with a few of the other Shepherds," I said.

"A potentially dangerous mission where you could die, Raven. I didn't hear a lot, but… I heard enough to know that you're putting yourself in danger," she said.

"Lissa, I'll be fine. We'll be fine. We will survive," I said reassuringly. She sighed to herself.

"Raven… I… don't go, please," she said.

"I have to. I should go. I have to make sure it's done properly. I need to see it with my own two eyes. I'll be fine, Lissa," I said.

"Promise me you will come back?" she asked.

"Of course! We can come back and do some shopping for decorating this room, then we can drop by the bakery, and then who knows… come back to the castle to Chrom making more assumptions and misunderstandings about us," I said with a small smile. I saw she didn't return the smile, and I got worried.

"You know, Raven… they… they don't…" she mumbled.

"What? Speak up, Lissa, I can't hear you," I said. What is she saying?

"They… don't have to be misunderstandings," she said quietly.

"Oh, you talked to him about it? Glad you got it cleared up!" I said with a smile.

"N-no, Raven. Not like that. I mean, they…"

"They what, Lissa. I'm… confused."

"They don't have to be misunderstandings if they're true!" she blurted out.

"But, they aren't true," I said, confused by her statement.

"They could be, Raven," she said, staring at the floor. Wait, was she…

"Lissa, are you…" I began, unsure how to finish that thought.

"Raven, I think… I would like… I want us to…" she said, stumbling over her words, her eyes darting in various directions but never making eye contact with me.

"Lissa, calm down," I said in a soothing tone of voice. "Shh, calm down… there… now, say what you wanted to say."

"Raven… I… think we should get married. I would like your hand in marriage. I wish to be your wife," Lissa said quietly. "I want us to plan for a future together, to live our lives together, and to grow old together. I want to keep having fun pranks and jokes with someone I trusted in my darkest of times and laughed with me in my brightest of times. You understand me better than anyone else here… and I trust you more than almost anyone else I know."

I stood there in silence. What could I… what do I…

… what do you say to something like that?

"Lissa, look, I… I appreciate the sentiment, but… we've only known each other a few months. Is that truly enough time to be sure how you feel ab—"

I wasn't able to say another word as she quickly took a confident step forward, grasped my tunic at chest level, and pulled herself toward me in a kiss. It was… a moment I would not forget for a long time afterward. I felt the sincerity of her confession and feelings wrapped in one act. In that moment, I felt like there was both a connection… and a disconnect. I hastily broke away and took a step back.

"Lissa, what… are you…"

"Raven, please… I'm no good with words. I can speak better through action. That had every one of my honest feelings for you… the depth my admiration… the level of my trust… the strength of my love…" she said as she took a step toward me. "Please, Raven… please tell me you feel the same. I need to know that you do."

I sighed to myself as I looked her in the eye.

"Lissa, you… are the nicest person I have met. The sweetest, friendliest person I have known. You've… you've cheered me up when I was down and you've laughed with me when I was doing well. You have been by my side as one of my closest friends…"

"Raven, no, please… don't say it like that," she said. "Don't tell me what I think you're saying…"

"Lissa, you deserve the honest answer. I cannot lie to you; I would not lie to you. I cannot… accept a proposal when I do not feel the same way. I'm… I'm sorry, Lissa. I really am. You're one of my closest friends and… I don't want things to be awkward between us. I… don't want to hurt you by rejection, but I don't want to hurt you by lying to you. I… do not feel the same way about you, Lissa…"

"Take me with you," she said suddenly.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Take me with you on your mission," she insisted.

"… after what just happened, I don't think that's a good idea. I think… you should take some time to reflect and think about it. I think that would be best," I said.

"Raven, please… I've never felt this way before. Don't tell me it was for nothing."

"Lissa, don't. Please… don't make this harder than it has to be," I said quietly as I picked up my pack and started walking out of the room. "I… need to head out. I'm sorry, Lissa. I'm… so, so sorry…"

"Raven…" she mumbled, standing in the middle of the room, her eyes staring blankly at a wall. Lissa, please… don't… take it personally.

"… I'm sorry. I will be back, I promise. Please don't… do anything rash while I'm gone," I said. She said and did nothing in response, still standing in the same place, staring blankly at the wall.

"Lissa?" I asked tentatively. No response. None at all. It was as if she had completely lost her ability to think. I felt awkward, not knowing whether to leave here there or try to help her back to her room.

"… I can't come with you?" she finally asked.

"… no," I replied again. "Lissa, please, just… stay here and… I… damn it."

I watched her as she slowly meandered to the doorway before shutting the door. She shut me… out of my room. I raised my hand to knock on the door, but… it didn't feel right. I put my hand back down, feeling worse than I ever had in a long time. She lost her sister and now she got rejected… for the second time in so many months.

Was this the right choice? Could it work? If I gave it an honest effort and a chance, could I possibly… feel the same? I walked to the door and held my hand up, ready to knock. Ready to tell her that maybe I should give it a chance and see where it goes. I paused. She doesn't deserve that. She… deserves someone who feels the way she does. Not someone who pities her for the state she's in right now…

I put my hand down, grabbed my bag, and walked down to the entrance hall. My mind was swirling with so many thoughts, I didn't realize I was already here.

"Raven?"

I looked up to see Chrom looking at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Ch-Chrom, I… sorry, I didn't see you there," I said.

"It's quite fine, my friend. You seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulders," he said.

"A part of me feels like I have just committed a grave error… a terrible mistake… and I don't know how to fix it. I could try to lie until the lie became truth, or I could stick to the truth I know at the cost of someone else," I blurted out. Chrom gave me a confused look.

"Are you okay? Are you sure you're able to handle this mission?" he asked. I saw Marth walk into the room with Elise, Miriel, and Donnel.

"I'm ready. I have to be. There is so much riding on this mission. I cannot afford to fail. Still, Chrom, I'm… sorry," I said.

"For what?" he asked. I sighed.

"… I can't… say. But… I'm sorry," I said. He gave me a confused look.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work through it," he said in reply with an encouraging smile.

"Is this everyone from the Shepherds who are going?" Marth asked. I saw Gaius walk into the room.

"Shady, you're here!" he said to me.

"This is a rather sizable group for what was proposed to be an intimate expedition," Miriel said.

"Oh, it's fine, Specs," Gaius said. She gave him a confused look.

"Specs? Ah… a reference to my eyewear. How very amusing," she said derisively.

"I asked a few of the Shepherds if they wished to accompany you on your quest," Chrom said.

"… and of everyone you asked, only Gaius accepted?" I asked.

"Well, three more said they were considering it," Chrom replied. "They just weren't fully sure they were ready to go on a quest so soon after the war, insisting upon staying here to help with the reconstruction."

"Who?" I asked.

"Panne, Sophia, and Ricken," he replied. We looked around and waited for a few more minutes, but saw nobody else come.

"Oh, well… it will be this group, it seems," I said.

"We will be fine. I know we will," Marth said firm.

"Together, we can accomplish what we could not alone," Elise said with a smile.

"The pursuit of eternal knowledge will drive the rate of success in a positive direction," Miriel said.

"Darn tootin'! We gonna be successful findin' this staff!" Donnel exclaimed. I noticed he was wearing armor now. This kid has been transforming in front of us for the past few months.

"… and we're going to have some sweet adventures," Gaius added, snacking on a caramel covered apple on a stick. Where did he even pull that from?

"We will succeed, because we're all in this together. There is nothing that will stand in our way," I said with a smile. Marth gave me a small smile.

"Sir Raven, with your guidance and our abilities, I truly believe we can succeed," she said, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"With your strength, Marth, you have gotten us this far. Now guide us with your wisdom. Let us finish what Selena started," I replied to her, smiling as we made eye contact.

"Wait, wait, wait! Don't forget… the Chosen One!"

We all looked to the doorway to see Sophia standing in the doorway, out of breath and sweating. It was as if she ran the entire way here.

"Sophia? You look like you ran the whole way here," Chrom said.

"I did," she bluntly replied. "You cannot leave on such a monumental mission without the magic of the Chosen Ones!"

"Chosen Ones?" Marth asked, her face showing signs of absolute confusion.

"Yes, the Chosen Ones! My family and myself take on the forces of evil with our righteous powers of justice and unity! Together, we fight the forces of inequality and oppression with fervor!" she said. She conjured a fireball in her hand. "Give them a Luminary Uppercut! You can take this maiden seriously."

Marth stared at her with her mouth open in confusion and horror before she gave Chrom a withering glare.

"You invited her to this mission? What WERE you thinking?" Marth quietly asked Chrom in a frustrated tone. Chrom rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"She may be a little… over-the-top, but her abilities are as useful as she claims," Chrom quietly replied back. Marth frowned slightly as she started walking away from the group.

"It's like dealing with another Owain," she muttered to herself, probably not aware I heard her. Who's Owain?

"It seems that's all we're having," I said aloud, trying to brighten everyone's mood. "Let's get ready to head out! The sooner we leave, the sooner we finish this mission, the sooner we can return. I expect Chrom will hold down the fort here in Ylisstol. When we come back, it'll probably look better than it ever has!"

"Indeed, Robin," Sophia said to me with a smile.

"… Raven. I'm Raven," I replied. She gave me a surprised look.

"Oh, I always get you two mixed up," she said in a very unfocused tone, staring into space. Marth gave Chrom another glare before she walked to the door of the entrance hall.

"If you are ready, we have a bit of a journey ahead of us! Shepherds, assemble!" she said confidently. Chrom gave a small smile at her and I gave him a glare.

"Don't get any funny ideas," I said to him with a frown.

"Wh-what? What are you talking about?" he said, turning slightly red. "Just, that level of confidence… it's charming."

"Chrom. Stop," I said firmly. He sighed and looked down.

"You're right. I should take her answer in stride," he replied.

"Good. I will be back, Chrom. We all will be back. Keep this city safe for us, please?" I asked.

"You as well. Come back safely. Lissa and I will wait for your return," he said with a smile. I cringed slightly.

"Lissa… may not be as enthusiastic about my return," I said, looking down at the ground.

"Why not?" he asked. I sighed.

"Chrom, I…" I began, but didn't know how to tell him.

"You know what? I'll go talk to her. I have a feeling I know what happened. You take care of what you have to," he said encouragingly.

"Sir Raven, you're falling behind!"

"Go, Raven."

I nodded and dashed to the other side of the hall to catch up with Marth and the others. As we journeyed to the border of the city, I walked next to Marth.

"So, El, how long do you estimate this journey?" I asked. I got punched in the shoulder in response.

"How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, young man?" she replied with a frown.

"Young man? I'm the same age as you. I think," I said.

"You're too immature to be nineteen," she replied.

"Hey, you two, wait up for the rest of us!"

We stopped and turned to see Gaius was the only one who was relatively nearby. I sighed to myself. I guess the other Shepherds weren't exactly used to moving through crowds quickly and quietly. I watched Gaius catch up to the rest of us.

"I swear… Shady… you had to have been a thief at one point in time," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You move too darn quick and smoothly for a regular warrior," he said. Marth nodded in agreement.

"The way you moved against that mage of Gangrel's has me convinced you have some steady training in movement abilities in your previous life," Marth said.

"The way you disappear and almost instantaneously appear next to an opponent reminds me of Lon'qu and his quick movement. That's a skill I wish I could learn," Gaius commented.

"Look, I'm just me. That's all. Just an amnesiac trying to remember who he once was. Let's leave it at that," I said firmly. I looked over to see the rest of the group make their way over.

"You realize we have almost all magic users… and speed warriors? We don't really have anybody who can land strong, powerful blows," Gaius commented. I pointed to Marth.

"Who do you think this is?" I asked.

"… can she hold a frontline?" he asked.

"Her and I can. Marth here can go toe-to-toe with Chrom in strength and technique. Trust me, she's more than capable," I said.

"Very well. I'll be trusting you, Blueberry," he said with a smile.

"Blueberry?" she asked.

"Add that to your list of nicknames… El," I said. I got punched in the shoulder again. "You need to stop that."

"You need to stop calling me that," she replied. The rest of the group arrived and we made our way to the south gate of the city. As we walked through the gate, I began wondering to myself one simple thing.

What if this was a wild goose chase? What if this led us nowhere?

Only one way to find out…