Carlos' POV

We arrive at our new home later than expected, about four hours after our ETA. There was a multi-vehicle accident outside of Baltimore, which held us up. Steph insisted since traffic was so bad that we stop and spend some time on the Baltimore waterfront, for Julie's sake. However, I know that she was trying to put off returning to New Jersey. Since our marriage, we only return here for holidays and major celebrations, never staying more than a weekend, either in Newark or in the house at Point Pleasant. We finally arrive, and Steph takes an exhausted Julie to her room, which is beautiful and sets her to sleep. We want to set up the guys in our guest rooms, but instead, they want to stay in the basement. They are heading to their own apartments in the morning.

Once she ensures that everyone has adequate blankets and such, she returns to our master suite. It was there that I found her, back against the headrest in the middle of the bed, crying with her knees to her chest.

"Babe, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I ask as I sit down next to her, pulling her on to my lap."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

"No, Querida, you're not. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know why I thought I could do this. I don't know why I thought I could come back to New Jersey, to Trenton, to the Burg. I can't do it. I haven't been able to sleep, I keep having nightmares, and on top of it, I think I have some type of stomach bug."

"You can do anything you want, Babe. You know that. I am so proud of the woman you are today. You are strong, resilient, confident, sexy, intelligent, and loving. You are a wonderful mother to Julie, and the best wife a man could ever hope for. I love you even more now than I did when we were younger. I want you even more. I never tire of you. I can't get over how much I need you, Stephanie. I am here, next to you, always. I will support you and back you up. No one will be able to hurt you on my watch. You have men who will give their lives willingly for you, who will protect you to all ends of the Earth. Never doubt your importance or your worth. The Burg isn't worthy of you. You and I, together, are going to show them how wrong they are and how perfect we are."

"What if Joe corners me? I don't see him backing off or staying away simply because I'm married. I can't go around everywhere, with someone guarding me. I need to be independent here like I was in Miami. When I'm working, I'll have a partner, but in my time, I want to feel comfortable buying donuts or getting pizza from Pino's. What will I do?"

"You will be you. You will have your gun and your knife. You will be aware of your surroundings, and you will fight back. You won't let Joe get away with taKing something from you again. You know, you can still press charges. Uncle Joe will back you up."

"I know, Carlos, but I don't want to go there. I don't want to relive it. It's bad enough, I must relive it in my dreams. God, Carlos, I feel so weak, so…so…unworthy of you. I don't know why every time I enter this state, I feel so inadequate."

"Look, we'll find you a therapist here, someone who can help you cope with the transition, deal with facing your past. Call your doctor in Miami tomorrow and ask for recommendations. Maybe they have an associate up here. But regardless, tell me how you feel, please don't shut me out. Te quiero, mi amor."

I feel her sobs start to subside and know that she'll be better in the morning. However, I'm concerned about this bug she thinks she has. I've noticed that she's been spending more time in the bathroom in the morning, but by the time she emerges, she looks healthy. "Tell me about the bug."

"Well, it's really kind of stupid. It seems that every morning for the last week when I get up, I feel really sick. Almost as if I'm going to vomit. Then, it goes away, but I don't have much of an appetite until around ten. I hate the smell of coffee, and I don't want to look at peanut butter."

By the time she finishes her little description, I have a smile on my face. She glances up at me. "Why are you smiling? You think this is fun?"

"No, Babe, but I think this means Julie's going to be a big sister."

I watch her face as the look of shock vanishes to fear of happiness. "You think I'm pregnant?"

"Yes, Babe. When was your last period?"

"Before we went to the Keys. Holy Mother of God, I'm pregnant. Do you think Bobby has a pregnancy test?"

"Babe, probably not, but I'm sure Ella will pick one up for us if we ask. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if there was one in the bathroom. You now, Ella is highly observant."

Steph jumps up and runs into the bathroom. I hear doors open and close; finally, I hear her shout, "yes."

"I take it, Ella purchased one."

"She did. I'll take it in the morning. That's the best time. I hope I don't lose this one."

"Babe, you won't. Think positively. You'll be fine. Besides, we have our family nearby. I'm sure Celia, Mariela, Rosa, and Isabella will be more than happy to help us, along with Mama and Tia Celia. Leah, Maria, and Anna are also old enough to help out. I don't think you need to worry."

"But what if you are called out on your last mission? What if something happens to you? How will I do this without you?"

"It's a real possibility that I could be called out, you know that. I'm in the twilight of my contract. But remember, I am the best. I'm not saying it to be cocky or arrogant, but I know that I can protect myself. I have a lot to lose, a lot to fight for, to come home to. I didn't stop fighting that first mission, and I won't stop now. Then, I only had you. Now I have you, Julie, and another potential child. I won't go down without a fight. However, if God decides that it's my time, you will never be alone. You have Lester, you have all the Rangemen, you have Ella and Luis. You have our family. You will never be alone. Now stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Stressing yourself out isn't good for you or for the baby. Right now, I'm here, and I will stay by your side as long as I am breathing. Te quiero, mi amor."

I help her get undressed, then hand her one of my t-shirts. She slips it over her head, then slides into bed. I pull on my boxers, climbing in next to her. We used to sleep in our birthday suits, but an inquisitive and sometimes scared six-year-old trained us to wear clothes to bed. We still keep her monitor on, so we know if we need to stop what we're doing. We don't get interrupted by Julie as much as we used to, but nonetheless, we don't want to take any chances.

I pull Stephanie into my arms, rubbing circles on her belly, where I hope our second child is growing. I am excited at the prospect of becoming a father again; hopefully, this time getting to see the pregnancy through. I pray, for Stephanie's sake, that if we are indeed expecting, that this baby goes to term and is born healthy. I don't know if Steph can emotionally handle a third miscarriage. Once I hear her breathing even out, I allow myself to follow Stephanie to sleep.


We wake up at six, which is late for us, but not surprising since we spent the last two days driving from Miami to New Jersey. After I take care of business, I pull on shorts and a t-shirt. I sit on the bed and wait for Stephanie. She comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later wearing yoga pants and one of my t-shirts on, with the pregnancy test in her hand. We wait for the requisite three minutes then look at the little stick.

"There's a plus sign! That means I'm pregnant. Carlos, we're having another baby."

I kiss my Babe, so happy and excited. "Thank you, Querida."

"For what?"

"For giving me the gift of fatherhood."

"You did have a part in this."

"Yes, but if you weren't open to becoming a mom, we wouldn't be here. Te quiero."

"Te quiero Carlos." We kiss once more. "I don't want to tell anyone until I get through my first trimester. Especially Julie. I don't want her to be hurt if…"

"Babe, everything will be fine. You need to think positively. Come on, let's get downstairs. The guys will be up here soon, thinKing we're in trouble."

We get up, heading out our door going downstairs. Our home is in Cream Ridge, which is about twenty miles from Trenton, and about a forty-five-minute drive there. While part of me would like to be closer, our commute is about the same as it was in Miami when you factor in the traffic.

We found this four-year-old colonial for sale in July. The owners, who had the home built, worked for one of the pharmaceutical companies in Delaware. They were being transferred to another facility in Chicago. The house is 3,756 square feet and sits on 2.6 acres. I was able to put a wall around the perimeter, setting up our top of the line security. When you enter the home from the main entrance, you walk into a two-story foyer with a double-faced staircase leading to the second floor. On the second floor, we have our bedrooms. The master suite takes up about a quarter of the second floor, where we have an ensuite bathroom, complete with a jacuzzi tub, separate roomy shower stall, toilet, and double vanity. There is a linen closet, also in the bathroom. There is white tile with burnt toast accents from floor to ceiling, with a white tile floor. The shower has glass doors which are frosted for privacy. Ella and Stephanie picked out towels that match the colored accents of the tiles. Our bedroom itself has six windows, all bullet-resistant tinted glass. We have blackout shades that close using a remote, and shutters that can cover the outside of the windows. There is enough space for us to have a small desk, suitable to work with a laptop if we chose. We purchased a California King bed and have the most beautiful Egyptian cotton sheets that are very soft and luxurious. There are his and her walk-in closets, where we installed a gun safe and a traditional safe.

The second bedroom is a princess suite, which is Julie's room. Her room is slightly smaller than ours, also with an ensuite bathroom. Her bathroom has a tub, toilet, and vanity. It is done in white tiles halfway up the wall, then a lilac paint to the ceiling. Julie has towels that match the color. Her room is painted almond, with a purple accent wall. She also has several windows, with the same safety features as ours. We got her a twin canopy bed. Her bedding is white with purple and pink butterflies, and we have several framed prints of butterflies on her walls. She also has a desk in her room and a walk-in closet.

On the other side of the hall are two bedrooms with a Jack and Jill bathroom between them. Those rooms will be perfect for the baby and as a possible playroom. Our bedroom is big enough that we could keep the bassinet in the corner, at least for the first few months. Though, if this baby is anything like Julie, he or she will prefer their own room, which is fine by us, especially once Stephanie is cleared to resume all normal activities. You would think for two people who have been separated for months at a time that we could better handle being celibate, but being in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, and not being allowed to make love to Steph is the worst form of torture for me. I'd rather be waterboarded.

As I head downstairs, I take a good look at the decorating Stephanie and Ella did from Miami. We had pictures and measurements of all the rooms at various times in the day and devised our scheme based on those pictures. All furniture, art, rugs, and paint were picked out in Miami. To the right of the main entrance is our living room with a fireplace. The living room has enormous two-story windows that let in a fantastic amount of natural light. We painted this room a light tan. We wanted to capture the sunlight, but not make it blinding. The couch is a light sandy leather sectional with recliners at either end. There's plenty of room for the three, and soon to be four, of us to relax together. We have two comfortable oversized chairs that match the couch in front of one of the windows. The tables are oak with a light finish. On the wall that gets the least amount of light, we have a large portrait of Stephanie and I in our dress uniforms from our wedding day. Around that picture are frames of various sizes and shapes, documenting our past, from infancy until now. Julie has a starring role in many of those pictures.

On the mantle, Stephanie has a vase of fresh flowers that we will replace at least weekly. Stephanie loves fresh bouquets, and I love buying them for her. Next to the arrangement are family pictures, along with Julie's school picture. When you walk through the living room to the back of the house, you enter the formal dining room. The dining room is big enough to fit a table for 20, a china cabinet, and a server. The walls in this room are painted a vibrant, emerald green that brings out the jewel tone. We have oak furniture here as well, in a traditional design.

The kitchen is painted harvest moon yellow, which is bright enough against the cherry cabinets without being too bright. There is a black granite countertop with an eat-in kitchen, a center work island, and a breakfast bar. Beyond the kitchen is our solarium, which is white, with wicker furniture. On the other side of the house is a den/playroom for Julie and our office. There's a small room near the garage entrance that houses the security equipment.

When we go into the basement, we have even more space. There, I have a small gym with a total body workout machine, a treadmill, a stationary bike, and mats, where Steph can do yoga or Pilates, or where we can work on our hand-to-hand. In another section is a small but efficient laundry room. There's a home theatre that seats sixteen, and finally, a 'man cave' complete with a wet bar. The couch there pulls out into a bed, and we also have a couple of air mattresses, which I'm sure Lester and Bobby put to good use last night.

The house has central air and heat. When we exit to the backyard, we have a sizeable two-level patio of pavers in a blue and tan scheme, which leads to a built-in kidney-shaped pool. Beyond the patio, we also have a huge swing set and jungle gym for Julie, plus a giant trampoline. The swing set and jungle gym were built by the Amish from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. You pick a design, and they come to your home to put it together. It's hand-crafted and guaranteed to last a lifetime. It was more money than a commercial constructed set, but well worth it when it comes to quality. Off to the side, we had a dog run set up, which is concrete and grass. That is where we want the dogs to do their business. We don't mind them running around the yard, but we don't want to risk Julie stepping in any doggie land mines. There's a small wooden fence around the dog run, but no gate. We want the dogs to guard us when we are outside. They can't do that if they can get locked into a run. However, the fence is low enough that they would be able to jump over it. It is only there to keep the people, namely Julie, out.

I am impressed with how great the house looks. I never realized Stephanie has such an eye for decorating. Our Miami home was a new home when we purchased it and came mostly furnished since we opted to buy most of the staging furniture. Our house in Virginia wasn't anything we put effort into, knowing it was temporary. But this home has our stamp on it.

Lester, Tank, and Bobby are in the kitchen, eating a breakfast of bacon and eggs. I smell the coffee, and I am grateful that my friends are here. I think that things are off to a great start here in New Jersey.