Hillary Clinton was sitting in prison for her crimes, "Gee it sure seems like a lot might be happening on the outside" she dabbed but not too much because her hands were in chains.

Obama was sitting in the jail cell next to her. "Former president Obama?" Hillary Dabbed, "How'd you get put in the slammer?"

"Something about reading erotic fanfiction in a Wendys. The manager called the cops. Said something about how he was the only one allowed to verbally harass his workers." Obama sighed, "You want to hear it? It's Stalin/FDR, and has some saucy bits that I can say now since we're already in jail."

"No"

"Ah, nevertheless" Obama took a long drag of his cigarette, emphasizing his emotional state, of which he had one, "So what're you in for?"

"Killed Joe Biden"

"Happens" Obama mumbled.

The two sat in silence for a few weeks.

"So, uhhhhhhhh, watched any good shows recently?" Obama Asked.

"Saw Sarah Palin was singing on one show. Whack." Hillary did not even have the enthusiasm to dab anymore.

"Yeah, Whack."

Obama paused again.

"So things sure have been happening in the world" Obama unpaused.

"This is true and also unfortunate," Hillary dabbed a little but was not really feeling it.

"I wonder how Bernie's doing," Obama wondered.

"Oh god everythings awful" Bernie said, "We can't even leave my house now" They were all still in Bernie's Vermont house.

"Yeah this sure puts a damper on our adventures" said Jeb!.

"It's times like these I remember something my old friend Fidel 'Ball is Life' Castro once told me, 'goddam America fucking sucks so much aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Jesus how is it even a real country holly shit what the fuck is wrong with Americans why are they always like this fucking hell what the fuck how do they keep doing this aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggg oh my god fucking fuck fuck fuck how do they keep sucking this bad why god why fuck hell shit'"

"True dat" Jeb! said.

"Jeeze," Beter said, "This is sadder than the time I was at Visiliy's funeral"

The scene cuts to Beter, dressed in all black, weeping, as they place Visiliy's body into a casket. A man approached the casket and placed a large sword on his body, and said a few words. A younger Bernie Sanders notices Beter.

"Hey, Beter!"

"Oh my gosh, it's Bernie Sanders from Politics, and The Obama Tales!"

"Beter, I have a favor to ask you, can you do this thing again, but take us with you too?"

"Wow, a favor! This is cooler than the time I went back to Bernie's house in Vermont to help him out!"

The scene once again shifts to Bernie's Vermont Home.

"Holy brap guys, I have an idea!"

Bloomberg and Nixon who was in The Donald's body were sitting in the oval office.

"You know, when you told me I got to be president again, I didn't think I'd have to clean up this colossal mess!"

"Yes, these do appear to be difficult times for the economy," Bloomberg muttered as he watched the Dow Jones rapidly go down, "When the imaginary number hits zero, America will explode, as was foretold in prophecy."

"Well, I don't want to sit around here bored! You're the puppetmaster or whatever, so you fix the economy! I want something more interesting to do!"

"Fine, just don't get to worked up, I don't want you losing control of The Donald"

"About that, I decided that the title God Emperor would better fit my aesthetic," Nixon said, pulling out a huge flaming sword.

"Well, that doesn't really matter. Anyway, the last thorn in my side right now is Bernie Sanders. He's really the only person in this world who truly worries me. Obama is a wildcard, but containing him is impossible. Bernie is mortal though, and my intel is telling me that he is pursuing the Three Sacred Treasures. I don't know how many he currently possesses, but the Sword, Excalibur, can easily get in your grasp. Get it before Bernie does, that should keep you busy for a few hours at least"

Nixon nods, "Nice plan, except one thing. The sword is not the one you think it is. I would know because I've seen it. It's the Sword of Stalingrad. It's a great sword, the best sword. The people love it, because it's the Peoples swords. It's True! Wait, sorry, I don't know what just got into me."

"I told you to keep vigilant! He may still be alive inside you, don't give him opportunities to escape!"

Nixon did the weird mouth shake thing he does, "Wwwwwwwwwwwhatever! I'm going now, gonna get that sword!"

"You do that, I'm gonna bolster our ranks. Need more henchmen and what not," Bloomberg mumbled as he typed 'relevant right wing politicians' on craigslist.