Paul stared at me.

I stared at Paul.

He chewed loudly. "What this is?" he asked, looking down at the plate of meats in front of him, amazed.

"Kafta," I replied, nibbling on my own little skewer of meat. "It's like a Lebanese meatball on a stick."

Paul moaned as he shoved a whole skewer into his mouth. "You made this?" I nodded. "I'm gonna kill Seth for keeping you to himself. This food is fucking orgasmic. Shit."

Paul was, in essence, babysitting me. And the three horse-sized wolves that were posted outside of my house, sniffing and snarling and waiting for something to change, were also babysitting me. Seth had showed up at my house (although I doubted that he ever left, and instead just stayed outside my window as a giant wolf) with Paul by his side, and told me he had something to do. He promised he was gonna figure out whatever was going on, and he was gonna make sure I was safe. In the mean time, Paul was stuck here with me, making sure no immortal being slipped through my bedroom window again.

"Is it true that you walk around with a knife?" Paul asked through a mouthful of food.

I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and pulled out one of my little pocket knife. "Yeah," I said, flicking it open.

"That's badass. Why do you carry it around?"

"In case some big idiot werewolf tries to kill me."

Paul snorted, loudly and unattractively. For a moment, I thanked Allah that the supernatural werewolf being I was stuck with was Seth, and not Paul. There was nothing particularly wrong with him, but he was kinda gross. "That thing couldn't kill me," he replied coolly.

"No," I agreed, "but I bet it would hurt."

He eyed the shiny object in my hand. "Do you wanna test it out?" he asked, and I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're like himbo?" I asked, shoving my knife back in my pocket because I was a little worried he might ram into it just to see what would happen.

Paul frowned. "What's a himbo? Is that insult?"

"It's like," I hummed, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to think of the right way to explain the concept of a himbo to a himbo. "It's like a male bimbo. You're really buff and big, but like, kinda dumb."

He choked on the kafta in his mouth and snorted, and I worried for a moment that I might have killed him, but he came up laughing. "You're lucky I've calmed down over the years. Otherwise, I'd have your head served on a platter for that." He chuckled, and then repeated to himself, "Himbo. Jesus."

"Well, I have my knife so I'd be okay," I replied, not missing a beat. "Were you not always the calm, bottomless pit that sits before me, eating my food?"

Paul shrugged. "I used to be pretty hotheaded. It didn't really take much for me to start shifting. One time Quil ate my leftover Indian food and I almost destroyed Emily's kitchen. That was an ugly day."

"What happened?"

A grin spread across his face. "I met my lady!" Paul leaned back and rubbed his stomach. "Once you meet your lady, everything changes, and you can't go running around turning into a giant wolf over stupid shit, cause you might end up hurting her. So I had to learn to control it."

The gears in my head started turning. "You mean your imprint? Rachel right?"

There was a weird glint in his eyes when I mentioned her name, like just the mere mention of her meant more to him than anything in the world. "Yeah, Rachel."

"How'd you learn to, y'know, tame the inner best?"

Paul snorted. "It took a lot of practice. I learned how to box and that got a lot of rage out of my system that way. I never competed, though, cause I would've like, killed everyone. On accident, but still. Also, Rachel taught me yoga. Finding my center and shit."

It was starting to sound like imprinting just turned these dudes into simps. "Do you think you could teach me? Boxing, I mean. I would like to learn how to punch."

Paul's face lit up. "Yes. Right now, let's' go."

Every now and again I have to remind myself that the things I do affect Seth. I mean, I know that the big things really get into his head and make him feel sick, but I forget that the little things get him all worked up and bothered too. Like, for example, when I sneak out of the house and drive somewhere different and forget to tell him about it. Or when I forget to eat a little too late in the day. Or when he comes back from a super important meeting about my safety to find me in the backyard with bruised knuckles and a fist in Paul's chest.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked, urgency clear in his voice while he approached us.

"Sports," Paul replied, "she's not very good at them."

"I'm actually doing just fine," I said, despite being out of breath and the skin on my knuckles breaking and bleeding. "I'm a natural."

"Hmm, she's not. She sucks."

Seth looked between the two of us. Paul was shirtless and unphased, and my hair was flying out of my ponytail and sticking to my face while I keeled over. Beating up Paul was a lot more physically demanding than I had ever imagined. Seth's features were twisted up in confusion. "He's teaching me how to box," I explained, standing up a little straighter.

Seth shifted weight between his face. "Well, I'm glad you got along, I guess."

"Alright, I can take a hint," Paul said, inching away from us and towards the line of trees that lined my yard. "I'll leave. I'm out." He pointed at me. "Same time next week?" And then he ran into the woods, disappearing behind the trees.

I looked back at Seth, who was looking anywhere but at me. There was a few feet between us, and so many unsaid words. "So," I prompted.

Seth blew air out of his cheeks. I was left wondering if things would ever been normal between the two of us again. "I talked to the Cullens. They didn't recognize the scent."

I nodded. "Do you have any idea what might have happened? Like, why they popped into my room?"

Seth twisted his tongue in his mouth. His voice was hollow when he said, "They probably liked the way your blood smelled." His stance was tight and he refused to meet my gaze. "It's a good thing your dads weren't home."

My stomach lurched. "What if they come back?" I could feel panic forming in the back of my throat and I thought I might let my guts out all over the backyard. "I mean, my dads can't protect themselves, they don't know. How do you know they won't come back?"

Seth rushed towards me and took my shaking hands in his. "Hey, hey, hey, Alex. Look at me." I did, and his eyes made me feel safe. "Nothing's gonna happen to your dads, okay? There's always gonna be someone out here, protecting you and your family." His hands moved from my hands to my shoulders, and he bent down to my level. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. You're always gonna be safe here with me."

I nodded, some sort of warm feeling spreading throughout my entire body and I knew that he was telling the truth. I knew that I would be safe and I knew he would do anything to make sure that was true. "Will you come inside with me?"

The noises of some television show I didn't know the name to acted as a background noise. The only thing I could hear was the distance between Seth and I. It sounded stupid, bit I could hear this electric buzzing between the two of us, like it was pulling us together. I remember being sick and pressing myself to his side like it was nothing and feeling so comfortable up against him. I remember feeling like my whole self next to Seth. And the distance between, the distance I put between us, made me feel like a shell. I wanted to be close to Seth again. "What's it like," I asked eventually, "to like, be a different animal, I mean?"

'It's," Seth started, and then shifted his weight under me, "it's like, natural, really I don't even have to think about it. You know when you have to sit down for a long time and then you finally get to stand and stretch out your limbs? That's what it feels like. When I first phased, though," he paused, and let out a long breath, "it hurt like hell. I don't think anything's ever hurt that bad. It felt like my skin tearing open over and over again, and like my bones were too big for my body."

I shuddered at the thought of it. "But it got easier?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it got easier. The more I did and the more I practiced, the shifting became smoother."

I looked down at his arms and back up at him. "So is this why you're always really hot?"

A familiar grin spread across Seth's face, and joy bubbled in my gut. "You think I'm hot?" he teased, a glint in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a while.

And I snorted, laughing despite the fact that it was a cheesy line that wasn't really that funny because Seth had said it and I missed the way he joked. "Shut up," I shot back, and tried to subtly inch closer to him. I put my hand on his forehead. "You know what I mean. If I was this temperature you'd drive me to the E.R."

"I wouldn't drive you to the E.R. I would throw you on my back and run there. It'd be more efficient." I rolled my eyes. "But yeah, the wolf thing is why I'm so hot."

There was another question lingering on my mind, and I didn't know if I had the courage to ask it. I opened my mouth and then closed it again. Seth noticed, and chuckled at me. "You look like a fish, Alex. What's up?"

"What's imprinting been like for you?" I asked, and the smile on his face wavered a little. He looked nervous.

Seth dropped his head back and looked at the ceiling. "When I first saw you it was," he paused, and looked back at me. The weight of his stare made me squirm. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. "When I first saw you, I finally understood my purpose in life, and it's you. To protect you, to make you happy. I knew when I first saw you that nothing in my life would ever be as important as you. Ever since then, you've just become my life. It hurts to be away from you."

My heart was beating in my throat. I thought about the few inches between us. I wondered if he noticed if I moved closer to him. I shifted, moving just a little bit closer to him. "I'm sorry about the time I told you to leave me alone. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just scared."

Seth wrapped his arm around my back and gently pulled me into his side. I pressed my face to his chest and listened to his heartbeat. "It's not your fault. I should've told you sooner. If I had, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"It's not your fault. I mean, what kind of idiot walks around in the woods alone at night?" I joked, trying to get a small smile out of him. But his expression was like stone. "Seth, it's okay."

He raised his hand and used it to stroke stray strands of hair. "It's not. But I'm just glad you're okay," he said, and I knew that discussion was over. I felt at home in his arms, and I realized how much I missed him. I inhaled his scent and felt comfortable. "What was his name?" Seth asked.

I knew what he was asking and it made my stomach drop. My mouth dried out. I thought about pushing Seth away and snapping at him for asking but I remembered how cold I felt when I was away from him. My heart pounded in my throat when I said, "Levi."

Levi had messy brown hair and freckles and a grin that made me putty in his hands. I would have done anything Levi asked me to, or at least I thought I would've. He took me on nice dates and bought me nice things and his mom made me Lebanese food to make me feel at home. He defended me when people were rude and made comments about the color of my skin compared to his. But I guess what I thought were the acts of a loving boyfriend were favors he was tallying up in his head. He thought I owed him. And when I refused him, he snapped.

Seth was gentle with me but I knew from the way his chest flexed under my head he was fuming again. "I'll never let anything like happen to you ever again."

"I know."

"Alex, you haven't like," he swallowed, and I pulled away to look at him, "you haven't done anything to hurt yourself since you've been here, right?"

"No," I replied quickly, shaking my head, "I'm never doing that again." Seth nodded, eyes never leaving mine. I inhaled. "I missed you a lot, Seth. I don't wanna be away from you ever again. I don't wanna keep anymore secrets from you."

Seth took my face in his hands. The heat and our proximity made me blush. "We never have to be apart again, Alex."


just a gentle little chapter after all those heavy ones.

all of my classes and one of my jobs got shut down cause of coronavirus so ill just be here updating. write a review to keep me motivated :~)