What It Means


"God dammit." Cassie sighed to herself, massaging her hands through her hair as she closed her eyes. It was surreal and unbelievable. She couldn't believe it.

She quickly gathered the tests up, putting them in the box and walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where she put them in one of her bedside drawers. She sat down on the edge of her bed, rubbing her sweaty hands on her shorts, just trying her best to understand what this really meant.

She then began to hear someone coming upstairs, quickly standing up from her bed and putting on a normal face.

"Hey, food is out." Thea said, walking into her sister's bedroom, "What you doing in here? I thought you were supposed to be getting some sun." She teased as Cassie laughed a little.

"Yeah, supposed to." Cassie nodded, "My head just hurt a little so I came inside. I will be re-joining for food, though." She smiled.

"Yeah, it all looks super good." Thea said, walking downstairs with her sister, "James' favourite food is burgers so this is right up his street."

"Yeah, who doesn't love a burger?" Cassie scoffed.

"I tried your lemonade by the way." Thea said, reaching the end of the stairs, "Pretty good. You should set up a little lemonade stand-"

"You're just as hilarious as Jude. She said the same thing." Cassie said, unimpressed as Thea chuckled, wrapping her arm around her sister.

They headed outside into the garden, sitting down at the table and tucking into some food. Out of all the girls, Cassie could put on a fake face the best. She was hard to reach and very distant, which helped in this situation given what she knew and what was going on with her.

"When are you back at work?" Sean asked, sitting beside Cassie at the table.

"Tomorrow." Cassie nodded, "Jake will probably put me on a completely different case." She said.

"You reckon it'll be a tough fallout?" Sean asked her.

"Doubt it. More like a celebration." Cassie said, "Theo's been trying to get this done for over a year."

"And you do it one night." Sean grinned, "I bet he loves that."

"He'll learn to." Cassie nodded.

"Maybe I'll swing by the station with you tomorrow and see everyone." Sean said.

"Oh, that's a good idea." Jude nodded from across the table, Mirren sitting on her lap getting a little bit of food from her plate.

"Yeah, I haven't seen everyone there in months." Sean said as Cassie nodded.

"Sure, you wanna do my work for me too?" Cassie teased as he laughed a little.

"No thanks, that's all you." Sean said, "How's the stab wound going?" He asked her.

"Well it's healed, I got a massive white scar along my side, though. Still don't feel one hundred percent." Cassie admitted, "Promised myself I'd go back to the gym."

"You're gonna have a shit ton of white scars all over you by the time you hit thirty." Sean nodded, "Check this one." He showed her his arm where a white scar ran alongside one of his tattoos.

"Damn, that looks like a forty five." Cassie looked on.

"Fifty." Sean nodded, "Bullet split in my arm." He said.

"That's so cool." Cassie looked on.

"You think that's cool? You should see my back." Sean scoffed, "It's like a damn dot to dot."

"Something I should prepare for?" Cassie asked him.

"Jake always told me a good cop will never have scars." Sean rolled his eyes, "But you know how it is, badge of honor and all."

"I don't think any of that should be recognised as a badge of honor." Jude added to the conversation.

"An artist would never understand." Sean teased as Jude smiled over to him.

"You're full of it." Jude nodded as he smiled over to her as Cassie watched discreetly.

She was never jealous of her sisters, if anything she was so happy for them. But ever since she was a young teenager, she'd saw them in good relationships, serious relationships with their respective partners. There was a part of her, way deep down, that wondered if she'd ever have someone to share a life with like that. Theo popped into her head, because she did care about him, but she couldn't get out of her own head, and given what was going on now, it seemed even more complicated.

"I'm finished." Sofia announced as Thea looked over.

"Babe, you're not finished. Eat more of your burger." She nodded as Sofia rolled her eyes.

"Daddy, I'm finished." She turned to Dominic, hoping for his approval as Thea laughed a little.

"Hey, lady. I get the last word around here." Thea reminded her as Dominic smiled.

"Listen to your mom." Dominic nodded to Sofia who huffed dramatically and leaned back on the comfy deck chair.

"Come on, you flipped it all by yourself." Punk looked over, "You gotta finish it all now."

"But I want to go play." Sofia said desperately, just as a child her age would.

"You can play after. The grass will still be there." Thea hummed as Sofia scolded her with her eyes.

"Then I need more sauce." Sofia sat up, dissecting her burger on her plate.

"Please." Dominic reminded her.

"I need more sauce, please." Sofia repeated.

"Here you go." Punk passed her over the ketchup, "Where do you want it?"

"No, I'll do it, papa." Sofia said, kneeling up on her chair and taking the bottle of ketchup from him.

"She's an independent woman." Thea nodded to Punk.

"I can see that." Punk laughed a little, watching Sofia squeeze out sauce on her burger, a lot of it.

"That's good." Sofia mumbled to herself, putting her burger back together again.

"Hey, does anyone want more lemonade?" AJ stood up, grabbing the empty jug.

"You need some help?" Cassie asked.

"No, you have your food. I'll make some more." AJ insisted.

"You got more beer in there for me?" Dean wondered as AJ smiled.

"Of course we do." She said, patting his head on the way into the kitchen as she headed in to make more lemonade. It couldn't have been a more perfect day. This was her family. The people who loved and cherished her. And they no longer had to be afraid.

Punk escaped the table outside and headed on in to help AJ with the lemonade.

"You need some help squeezing the lemons?" Punk asked as she laughed a little.

"Which ones?" She smiled over to him.

"I can totally multi-task, you know that." He said as she smiled.

"I'm so glad everyone is here." AJ said as he nodded, "I can't remember the last time I've felt this relaxed and… safe." She shook her head, "I mean, even before when things were ok, there was still the question of… what else or who else." She said as he nodded, "And now there's nothing. It's just us." She shrugged as he nodded with a smile.

"I know, I think we're supposed to be losing our minds after what happened the other night but… I don't know about you, I slept like a baby last night."

"I did too." She agreed, "Just knowing that the girls are safe, the kids, everyone… it's the biggest relief." She nodded to him.

"You know what this mean, don't you?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"What?" She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, looking up at him.

"We're gonna take those school classes." He nodded as she smiled and laughed a little.

"I thought you had deliberately forgot about them." She admitted.

"Hell no, I'm ready." He nodded. He didn't forget that before his wife's car crash over a year ago, she wished to do something for her, she wished to take part in something for her own benefit, and he promised himself when she was in hospital in her coma, that they would do those classes.

"Are you?" She smiled, "It's gonna be hard."

"I think we can do it." Punk said confidently.

"Hey, it's not a joint effort. You're on your own." She reminded him as he laughed a little and nodded.

"I'll be fine." He assured her as she smiled, looking up at him.

"I love you so much." She smiled, looking up at him.

"I love you too." He nodded, leaning down and kissing her sweetly, cupping her cheeks.

"You think they'd notice if we disappeared for a little bit?" He asked, kissing into her neck as she laughed and smiled.

"Maybe." AJ chuckled, cupping the back of his head, feeling him squeeze her ass as she smiled, messing around with him.

"God, not in front of my lemonade." Cassie walked into the kitchen to a sight she'd rather not see.

"It's all her." Punk pointed to AJ who chuckled.

"Get a beer for Dean, idiot." AJ shoved him away as he chuckled, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer for his brother, leaving the kitchen and heading back outside.

"You need some help?" Cassie asked her mother.

"Sure, you could refill the jug with ice." AJ nodded to her, watching Cassie empty the jug and refill it with ice from the freezer.

"Could have ate twelve of those burgers honestly." Cassie shook her head as AJ nodded.

"You a little nervous for work tomorrow?" AJ asked her.

"A little." Cassie nodded.

"I just hope all of this doesn't make your job less enjoyable for you." AJ said.

"It doesn't, it's just a little difficult. Jake will probably have me work on something else. He might ask me a couple questions but… other than that, I'm more just a witness to it all than a cop." Cassie shrugged, "I'd rather get my teeth sunk into something else."

"Yeah, I think that'd be better for you." AJ agreed, "What about Theo? Will he be working along with Jake for it? I mean… he spent a year working on it all."

"Yeah, he'll probably help him wrap it up." Cassie nodded.

"Have you spoken to him since you got home?" AJ asked.

"No." Cassie took a deep breath, "And I promised I would talk to him." She remembered.

She wasn't like most. She had a secret and she didn't want to tell anyone. She wasn't desperate to share it with anyone or ask for advice. Right now, it was hers and she was keeping it close to her chest for as long as she could, until she really figured out what the hell it all meant.

"I don't wanna keep going on about him to you, it's not fair on you." AJ realised as Cassie nodded, "But he flew all the way to Puerto Rico just to see if your stitches were ok." She smiled a little, "I don't actually know much about him but I saw how heartbroken you were when you thought you'd lost him. You don't feel things like that just for anybody." She said. She was just trying to help her daughter in whatever way she could.

"Feels different now." Cassie said.

"Maybe, and I can understand that after what happened with him… coming back from the dead basically." AJ shook her head, "You have every right to protect your feelings, trust me… I've done the same." She nodded, "I just don't want you to regret anything later in life, that's all." She said.

"Yeah, I know." Cassie nodded.

"So… I'll shut up about him, unless you need to talk about it… it's yours to figure out." AJ nodded. She always gave her daughters their independence from a very young age, to decide things for themselves, to make of things what they would. But she was still there to catch them when they fell, or needed a push or shove.

"I think I just need a little bit of time." Cassie said as AJ nodded.

"And that's ok." AJ assured her as Cassie nodded, "Ok fetch me some more lemons." She said as Cassie smiled.

She could take her mind off it for as long as she could, but it didn't change the fact she had something very real and life changing going on. It was way more than just a complicated relationship with Theo.