CHAPTER 42:
Assistance
The fresh morning air chilled his naked back. Kai hummed with drowsiness, face pressed on the pillows. His eyelids heavy, unwilling to open even though he could feel the light around the room filtering through the thin layer of skin. He'd never considered himself a lazy person but some mornings it was hard to resist not lying in bed all day, the nest was just so comfortable and soft, especially when he had company.
Kai's arm untucked from under his head and stretched over the mattress, reaching the edge of the bed. Wrong side, he thought when he found nothingness, then turned to the other and repeated the action —only to find more empty space. His brow furrowed at the same time he squeezed the sheets and his eyes popped open, confirming that he was indeed alone. Kai propped up on his elbows, somnolence abandoning him fast upon discovering his husband was nowhere in the bedroom.
"C-Cole...?" He asked fearfully. It couldn't have been a dream, last night had been real, right? Cole had been there with him. Did something happen to the boy?!
"Hey."
Kai's eyes followed the source of the sound, finding the noiret coming through the door to the adjoining bathroom. Immense relief washed over Kai and he let out a big heavy sigh, his body plopped down onto the mattress, free from the sudden tension. Cole came to him and Kai immediately grabbed the boy and crushed him in a tight hug. Cole chuckled and pulled the silky sheets over him, his naked body tangling again with Kai without restraints.
"Good morning to you too," Cole said teasingly at the clinginess of his lover. His voice a little more rasp than usual, probably due to all the screaming from last night.
Kai breathed against his chest, taking in Cole's natural scent, savoring the feeling of his warm skin beneath his palms —his scarred skin. Cole drew back a fraction and stared down at him, his chocolate beautiful eyes, full of love for the brunet and Kai felt a pang of guilt in his heart.
"Babe, you okay?" Cole asked, pulling Kai's chin up.
The Maharaja trembled and hid back in Cole's pecs, hoping to control the tears that were starting to sting his eyes. "Sometimes I… I wonder how did you come out of that. How could you still love me after I… I just left you there…" His hold on Cole's back tightened, the relief of the creased skin transporting him back to that night five years ago, to Cole's dying wails.
"Hey," Cole guided Kai's face up again so they could look into each other's eyes. "Never have I ever thought you 'abandoned' me. Don't even think that for a split second. There was nothing you could do then."
Kai sniffed. "I still remember your cries so clearly…"
"You need to let that go, babe." Cole patted his head. "Think about it this way; if things had been different, maybe we wouldn't be here now. And this…" Cole dipped his head, placing a soft kiss on Kai's lips. "Us —together—, this beautiful family that we've built, it's worth everything."
Shy tears slipped from Kai's eyes and the boy hugged his spouse tenderly. Cole was right. Kai hadn't been aware of it until then, but coming from a disrupted family had left him starved for healthy affection. For the last years, his main goal had been to keep his true family safe and happy, especially after rescuing Lloyd from his abusive parents. They were all worth any traumas.
Kai's mind drifted back to the conversation he'd had with Cole last night before they made love. "You really think... Jay forgave me, for real?"
"Yeah. I told you last night —you just need to forgive yourself, then you'll see what I see. He's not mad at you. None of us are."
A trembling smile started to stretch on Kai's face, he kissed Cole a few more times and rubbed his hands on his strong chest. Warmth spreading over his cheeks as he caressed the perfectly imperfect muscles.
"For someone who claims to be bad at choosing words… you always manage to cheer me up somehow," Kai whispered, looking up at Cole with glazed eyes.
Cole grinned and kissed him deeply. "Well, after almost a decade, I better start getting to know what works best on you, don't you think?"
More tears rolled down Kai's face, his heart still ached with a mix of hurt and unconditional love, along with a new type of anguish as he thought about Jay.
Forgive myself… The advice sounded so easy in Cole's lips, but would Kai be able to do that? For years he'd felt guilty for what had had happened to Cole. The feeling had eased a portion within time but it was still there. Although now that Cole had assured him there were no bitter sentiments on his side, maybe Kai could take that one first step out of the nightmare, which would help him to find his own path to forgiveness.
'It's okay to need help.'
Yeah, maybe it was time to take what he was being offered from the start.
Kai scooted closer, gluing his body to Cole, one leg hooked over his hip. Their naked arousals rubbed together and awakened fast. The Maharaja pushed Cole onto his back on the bed and rolled on top of him, breath escaping in a shaky moan as the noiret's prominent member stretched beneath him.
"Do you want to...?" Kai asked, face hovering just a couple of inches over Cole's.
"Lazy morning sex?" Cole caressed his jaw and smiled. "It's my favorite type."
••••••••••••
The brush got stuck. Jay pulled it out from the mess of ginger hair and manually untangled that troublesome knot at the back of his head before he tried again with the brush.
"Uuuuh… Yes…"
Jay gripped the handle of the tool and a darker blush spread across his face.
"Kai… baby…"
Jay sat frozen in front of the vanity. Seeing his own flushed reflection wasn't helping him get rid of the embarrassment. Why did he have to blush? He wasn't the one being overheard while engaging in some intercourse.
The royal spouses and he had woken up a few minutes earlier, the moans had started again as they were changing into their regular outfits, taking them all by surprise. Lloyd and Zane, though, treated it as usual and just went on doing their own thing. Jay tried as well, but it was hard to keep the focus on his task while Kai and Cole's voices drifted back to them, a lot quieter than last night but still noticeable.
Stalling a bit, Jay shifted in the stool and watched Zane through the mirror. The boy was all dressed up, doing some morning exercises to stretch and prepare his muscles for a new day. Their eyes locked through the reflection and Zane offered him a smile, in time with another distant sensual cry. Jay went back to brushing his hair, averting Zane's gaze.
Lloyd came out of the bathroom and paused near his bed. "They're still…?" He mumbled. Zane nodded and Lloyd looked down for a moment with a faint blush on his face. The taller boy walked up to him and slipped his hands under Lloyd's palms, clutching the small limbs tenderly.
"Are you okay, my dear?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's… nice to have him 'back'," Lloyd said, yet his nervous eyes still avoided looking at his friend. Zane reached up and caressed Lloyd's cheek.
"What's wrong? Is something worrying you?"
"N-No…" Lloyd stuttered and hid his face on Zane's chest before the rosiness on his cheeks got more noticeable. Zane hugged him softly and waited for Lloyd to speak again. "I just… I'm a bit… jealous," he whispered so low that Jay barely registered the boy's confession.
Zane's arms immediately tightened around Lloyd and he placed a kiss at the top of his golden head.
"I'm sorry…" The boy murmured.
"It's okay, love. We're all trying to readjust. But you shall not fear, Kai is madly in love with you." Zane rubbed his hands up and down Lloyd's back with a soothing motion then drew back and looked at the boy in the eyes. "Why don't you ask him to sleep together tonight?"
"Won't he think I'm clingy or… acting like a baby? After the last time-"
"Trust me. He'll feel honored rather than any of that." Zane smiled with confident eyes.
Jay was transfixed by the scene unwrapping before him, he hadn't even noticed he'd turned around and was directly watching the two boys merged in a warm-hearted hug. For the days that had followed his brief stay in the dungeons, Jay had almost forgotten what a strong bond this family shared between all the members. Although Lloyd was envious of Cole's 'luck', there was also remorse and embarrassment in his voice, hinting at an unconscious love and respect for his peer. Lloyd also didn't seem to mind sharing that 'darker' side of him with Zane, who was also a royal spouse married to the same man. It all was so confusing to Jay but… somehow they made it look so simple; stepping over non-written social rules and just sharing their love and sentiments without fear of what the other lovers might think, trusting each other. And wasn't true love supposed to have such healing properties?
"Jay?"
The boy flinched hard as he noticed Zane talking to him.
"Are you ready?" Zane asked.
"Uhm, yes…" Jay replied, placing the brush down on the vanity and getting up, hoping to conceal the weird turbulence that was starting to gather in his mind.
"Should we wait for them?" Lloyd asked Zane.
Their friend was about to answer when a loud cry vibrated through the walls, mixing with another equal lustful one. Then everything went silent again. The three boys shared a fidgety look for a moment.
Zane chuckled. "They shouldn't take much time to join us. Let's wait for them in the dining room."
The three boys made their way to the other wing and met with the princess. Everyone took their seats around the table full of food and waited, making small talk while they got served some drinks and took a few sips. Minutes later, the Maharaja and his first spouse appeared by the door.
"Morning," they both said and everyone welcomed them.
"You're such good friends," Cole chaffed with a pout. "Couldn't even wait for me to come?"
Zane started to reply but got cut off by the smaller blond by his side, who was suppressing a sudden laugh. Everyone turned their heads towards Lloyd and stared as the boy's reddened cheeks. Lloyd tried to hide while the smirk in his face wouldn't disappear.
"What?" Zane asked him.
"Nothing." Lloyd rubbed a hand over his mouth.
"Shit, Lloyd! I almost missed it!" Cole exclaimed and face-palmed himself with a burst of childish laughter. Next to him, Kai's eyes widened and he, too, joined the giggles, followed by Nya next. It took Jay a few more seconds to realize the source of their amusement. His cheeks flushed and he felt embarrassment running through his whole body at Cole's 'opportune' comment from earlier.
"What's up?" Zane inquired again, utterly confused.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Cole breathed out between chuckles and walked towards them, taking his usual seat next to Jay. He looked at Lloyd and narrowed his eyes at the boy. "You are turning very dirty, greenie."
"Sorry," Lloyd apologized with a smile.
Kai rounded the table, going to take his spot between Nya and Jay, but paused behind Lloyd and hugged him. "Hey, don't be too hard on him," he said looking at Cole on the other side. "I kinda like it," Kai whispered and kissed Lloyd's cheek, giving his shoulders a little squeeze.
Jay watched Lloyd's previous anxiety fading away just with that simple display of affection. He felt a subtle pang of remorse. How come this family had been so close to losing this? —And partly due to Jay's stubbornness.
The Maharaja sat down on his usual spot, Jay's eyes gazed at him unconsciously. Kai hesitated but at last, looked at him as well. A sheen of vulnerability covered the hazel orbs as both guys stared into each other's faces.
"H-Hi," Kai stuttered. There was a certain degree of fear in his jittery voice, a dread that had been there for the past days, but Kai held his gaze firmly. Although it looked like the guy would flee the place like a scared child at any minute.
"Hey," Jay replied just as low and modest, but the short greeting turned to be enough to put a smile on the sovereign's lips. It wasn't one of those big grins Jay had witnessed weeks back, but it was enough for the time being.
"Well, if you ain't waiting for me, then I'm not waiting for you either," Cole's voice rose over the place. The noiret grabbed a platter packed with vegetable buns and placed it in front of himself, grabbing a couple of them and shoving one into his mouth with a pleased hum. "Enjoy!" He mumbled with his mouth full.
The whole royal family, guest included, burst into laughter.
Whatever Cole had done last night with the monarch, it had changed something in the boy —in a good sense. Kai still displayed some agitation, his hands trembled when they crossed paths with Jay to grab more food, but the young king wasn't avoiding his eyes that much anymore.
Jay was aware that Kai's state of mind was very complex at that point and he wasn't expecting the boy to just heal and forget about everything in one night. What Kai had gone through in his teens had been a major blow, both to the heart and soul. But Jay hoped that, within time, Kai would return to the confident, cocky boy he'd first met. And with such a committed and supportive family, Jay presumed it wasn't an impossible dream.
••••••••••••
"Well, I think I should go work on my face now, audiences are starting soon," Kai said when everyone was pretty much done with their breakfasts. He rose up from the cushion with a low whine and then looked at Zane. "Right?"
"That's correct, my dear," his husband confirmed.
"I'll be right back," the Maharaja waved a hand at them and left the room.
The royal family watched him go then shared a few concerned looks. Zane spoke first, his words directed at Cole. "He seems to feel a bit better than yesterday."
"Yeah… I guess," the boy replied with a weak smile.
"Cole, may I ask what happened last night?"
Cole tensed visibly then tried to play cool. "Weren't we loud enough?" He smirked at his friends, making everyone blush.
"I wasn't referring to that," Zane told him, trying to replicate Cole's smugness.
"I know," Cole chuckled low, his amusement slowly fading and transforming into a deep sigh. Cole finally relayed them what Kai had told him last night about his fear of disappointing them, of being seen as weak and having troubles to believe Jay could forgive him after everything.
"Did I say something wrong yesterday?" Jay asked.
"No, of course not," Cole quickly rejected the idea that Jay had any fault in how Kai was coping with the current situation. "It's not really about you, Jay. He's been like this since I remember; always terrified of not being 'good enough' or 'worthy'." Cole leaned on the table, his long messy hair falling to the sides of his face as he shoved his hands into the black mane and took a deep breath. "It's all that fucking bastard's fault…"
Everyone but Cole looked at Nya with concern.
"It's okay," the princess said. "I know my father was not a good man. I mean, he thought he did what was best for us, but… He didn't understand people are way more diverse than what it seems and we can't all be judged under the same guidelines."
Jay felt touched and inspired by Nya's words. Even though Jay didn't quite understand these same-sex relationships yet, Nya's point held so much truth. If kids in Jay's hometown had been more understanding, Jay might have had more friends growing up and been less self-conscious about his flaws —that his parents assured weren't all that big.
"I'll never get how he could do that to his own son. How could he not see how much he was hurting Kai," Cole went on. "Like… I would have given up our love if I had known the man would at least listen. Even if he didn't change his mind about us, I would have moved away from Kai if that fucker had promised to treat his child with respect. But this… what he did to him, not just that time when he tortured me but all his life..." Tears were starting to gather in Cole's eyes. "I don't think he ever saw Kai as a person but more like… another piece of his fucking 'king's game'. Just a pawn for his damn royal plans…"
Jay felt his throat squeezing painfully and looked up when a sharp sniff sounded. On the other side of the table, Lloyd was already crying, overwhelmed by all the emotion that came with such a tricky topic. Zane's eyes, too, glistened with pain and he pulled the smaller boy into his arms, wiping his tears away.
"I'm sorry," Cole apologized rubbing his face. "I didn't mean to ruin your mood. It's just… I've never had the chance to voice all of this."
Nya scooted closer and stroked Cole's back with soothing motions while she tapped at her tear duct with her free hand. Inspired by the princess' actions, Jay slipped a hand into Cole's fist and squeezed his palm affectionately.
"It is fine, Cole," Zane spoke low with a mother-like voice. "Just like I told Kai; there's no need to suppress your feelings and thoughts. And I believe it is a lot more healthy for both of you to share them. We're here to help you."
"That's what I told Kai." Cole breathed heavily through his nose and looked at the ceiling for a second, trying to keep himself collected.
"Well, it's good that we are all on the same page, we just need to put that into practice now. But I think you both are doing great already."
Cole nodded, although a few more tears still managed to escape his eyes. The whole family helped each other to calm down, they were just recovering when the door opened again and Kai stepped inside, face so beautiful with his spot-on make-up.
"I'm ready," he chimed then stopped short when noticing the dull ambiance. "What's up? Is everything okay?" He asked alarmed.
"Yes, love," Zane assured, standing up from his seat. Kai cocked an eyebrow, not much convinced. "Shall we go, Nya?" Zane asked the princess.
The girl responded with a firm nod and walked up to her brother. The rest of the boys stood up from their seats as well, but before Kai could step closer and bid farewell to them, Lloyd jumped onto him, hugging Kai tight.
"Can I go with you?" He asked.
The monarch blinked, surprised at the request. "You don't have to. It gets very boring sometimes."
"But I want to help you," Lloyd almost cried out. His head falling forward against Kai's chest. "I know I'm not as intelligent as Nya or Zane but… I want to try."
"Lloyd…"
"I just… want to be by your side…"
Kai stared at his spouse with wide eyes and, for a split second, Jay thought he saw a glimpse of the boy Cole had fallen in love back in his early teens. So small and innocent, deprived of genuine affection and just wanting to love and be loved.
Kai's lips twitched and stretched as a trembling smile was drawn on them. The boy hugged Lloyd back and rested his head on the crook of his lover's neck. A tiny high-pitched sound indicated a sweet kiss on Lloyd's cheek.
"Okay. If that's what you want," Kai said, drawing back and looking into Lloyd's wet moss eyes. The boy smiled brightly and hugged him hard again. "But you're free to go anytime if you get bored, okay, baby?"
"I won't!" Lloyd promised with the energy of an excited child, earning an affectionate grin from his husband.
"Then," Zane started, addressing his little friend. "May I hand you my spot in assisting Kai today?"
"What?" Both Lloyd and the Maharaja stared flabbergasted at the boy.
"I am sure you three are more than capable of handling today's audiences."
"R-Really?" Subtle tension grabbed at Lloyd.
"I think it's a good idea," the princess commented. "That way Zane can have a bit of time for himself too."
Without much disagreement, Kai and Lloyd accepted the deal. They said their goodbyes to the others, kissing and hugging. When Jay's turn came, Kai wrapped hesitant arms around the boy's body then tightened their grip a fraction later when Jay didn't hurry to pull away. As they drew apart Jay smiled at him and swore he felt a little spark return to Kai's eyes.
The red siblings and Lloyd walked down the hall, ready to face a day full of work. Cole, Jay, and Zane watched them go as they stood by the threshold of the dining room.
"What?" The noiret asked when he noticed the pleased smile on Zane's face.
"Nothing," he replied and shared a look with Jay. The boy, too, couldn't suppress his smile, happy for the innocent blond that had had a little meltdown earlier that morning.
Cole studied them for a moment and rolled his eyes upon not receiving a clear answer. "Well, I guess we should see how we entertain ourselves too. You guys up for some exercise?" The young man said, clasping his hands and cracking his fingers with anticipation as he smiled at Jay. He was just about to nod when Zane interrupted him.
"Actually…" he paused and made sure both of his friends were listening to him. "I think we should take advantage of the fact that I'm free today. I've been thinking we could start on your reading lessons, Jay."
Thank you very much for reading
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