Truth 51, can't think of a concise title and "it's time for a manipulative, thoroughly annoying, arrogant, fragile Luke" was too long. I'm also posting "Truth: Interludes 6" that fits after this chapter. Neither to be taken too seriously. Hope you have fun! :)

OooOoo

"Hey. It's me," Luke said inanely, even though he knew that Jovay would be able to see him. "I've given this message to an acquaintance to pass on. I hope you're okay and didn't say anything stupid to you-know-who. I thought about what you said and I agree and disagree. Can't really say much more." Not on an insecure vid. "Here are my coordinates, don't tell anyone. I need some things. I gave away my old stuff so I need clothes from the ship, boots, a new cloak. How about some credits? And a crystal. Tell my father that's really important because...I think I'm going to the teacher he told me about." He had to make this short. "And tell him I'm…" Sorry/not sorry. "Tell him I miss him and I hope he forgives me and...I love him. A lot. We'll figure it out. I hope he's all right. And...both of you be careful."

Sitting outside in the pre-dawn darkness, he cut off the recording and looked around again. Satisfied no one was near enough to have overheard, he rose and brushed off his pants, heading to his meeting with Dayan.

The man was waiting, yawning, his eyes still clouded with sleep. "Got my transport ready?"

"Almost." Luke let his hand relax next to his leg and Dayan took the message chip from between his fingers. "Be sure to send this. It's really important to me."

"I keep a deal. You'd better too."

"I will."

Dayan looked over Luke's shoulder. "Your shadow is watching."

"I know." He'd sensed Boss exit the hangar, though he made no further move toward them. "Now would be a good time to touch me so I can pull away in horror."

The other laughed. "I get it. I'm the villain who gets kicked off planet." His fingers brushed Luke's cheek. "How's that?"

"I'm horrified." Luke jerked away with a tiny smile. "Now I'm walking away. Pack your belongings and be ready."

"Thanks. I'm looking disappointed."

"Don't make me laugh." Another time, a different situation, they could have been friends. He didn't look back as he hurried over to Garven Dreis.

"Boss—"

The older man held up one hand. "What you do when you're sober is your choice."

"No! I mean, yes, but...I'm not interested in him or...umm...anything." He looked at his feet. "It's embarrassing, you know? People are talking."

"What did you expect?"

Luke sighed. "I wasn't thinking. Look, he's got a hardship exit approved and is just waiting for a transport. Can't you get him out of here? I don't want to keep running into him."

Boss gave him a speculative look. "I'll see what I can do. But why do I feel that you're not being completely honest?"

"Because I'm Oz. People assume I'm lying and I have a reputation to uphold." Luke gave him a cheeky grin. "Thanks for your help, Boss. Wanna have breakfast?"

"I'm checking in with Command first. I'll see you later. Be at work by 0700."

"I always am!" He felt fleeting guilt at manipulating his friend, but it was a harmless request. Nothing bad would come of it.

OooOoo

Barely two days later, with Dayan gone and happily out of the way, he received a summons to report to CC.

Clever you think you are.

"We'll see." I'm rethinking your offer to train me.

Honored I am.

Sarcastic you are. Luke grinned as he hurried across the hangar deck. So where am I going?

Dagobah, came the short answer. Yoda could be talkative when he wanted to be annoying, but suddenly he was the soul of brevity when it came to imparting anything useful. Luke didn't remember much about that planet from his tapes. Non-human sentient life. And damn, another jungle.

Feeling jaunty and self-satisfied, he tapped on the door seven times even though there wasn't a special code. And, oh-oh, there was the group that was the bane of his existence: Dodonna, Willard, Narra, and...damn, Boss. "Hi!" he said brightly. "I'm glad you sent for me because I have something to ask you."

Commander Narra sighed and pressed his hand against his temple.

"Do you realize you always sigh when you see me?" Luke pointed out. "Why is that?"

"Because I feel a headache coming on whenever your face appears."

"Oh."

"Sit down," Commander Willard said.

Luke sat next to Boss, sending him a smile that was not reciprocated with even a glance. "What did I do now?"

Dodonna was standing, arms folded. His head tilted to the right. "A shipment arrived for you."

"Really?" Luke jumped up. Dayan had come through—and so had Jovay! "That's great!" He took a few steps toward a large crate that was topped with two boxes, then stopped. "They've been opened!"

"Of course they have," Narra said. "Standard procedure when a member of the Alliance receives a delivery from the Empire to our hidden base."

Standard—oh. Very funny. "About that…" Luke began, hesitating. "It's from Captain Jovay. He won't betray your… our location."

Willard raised an eyebrow. Luke was tired of that expression being directed at him so often. "He won't. And face it, my father probably already knows where you are, but he wants me here so...it's a win/win. I got what I need, and the base is still safe."

"You requested contact with Jovay," General Dodonna stated, "and we decided to disallow that. Command Dreis told you of our decision."

He looked at Boss who didn't meet his gaze. "He did. I disobeyed. But in fairness, you didn't allow me to argue your decision in person, you unilaterally dismissed me." No one was speaking so he continued defensively, "And it's just things I need—clothes from home mostly—because I don't have anything and I can't buy anything except socks and underwear on a twenty-five-credit-a-month allowance."

"You had these clothes on Tatooine?" Willard asked mildly. "They're exceptionally fine quality."

Great, his dad sent him the good outfits. "Not the 'expensive Imperial' argument again! No, not Tatooine, they're from the Devastator. Which wasn't my home for all that long, but that's where I last had clothes." Luke spread his hands. "Honestly, you're making a big fuss about nothing."

Narra rubbed his forehead. "And this?" He pushed forward a small box.

Luke removed the lid and parted the black velvet protective lining. The mineral shard glowed even against the darkness. "Ah!" he exclaimed with pleasure. "My crystal!" He looked at Boss. "Kaiburr. So I can fix the lightsaber."

Narra groaned. "We don't even issue you a blaster. I don't want you having a working lightsaber."

"You can't stop me!" Luke snapped indignantly, before realizing that they could indeed confiscate his saber. "Anyway...that gets to the reason I wanted to see you."

"Oh, do please continue." Dodonna seated himself and looked interested, but Luke knew cynicism when he heard and saw it.

He remained standing, fists on his hips like his dad stood when he expected obedience. "I need to borrow a ship. Nothing fancy, just a one-crew, long range shuttle with decent facilities..'fresher, shower, galley, like that. Maybe the one we captured last month from that pirate."

Narra choked and shook his head.

"Are you having a problem, Commander?" Dodonna asked. "Do you need to be excused?"

"No, sir, I just usually... anticipate requests." Narra sobered and tried to speak, but shook his head again.

"I will bring it back," Luke said. "I promise."

"Of course we believe you because you've never lied to us before."

Luke frowned. "I never made a promise before. A promise means...giving your word of honor that can only be broken in the most extreme emergency." He silently thanked his father for this memorable lesson. "Because in the end, all a man has is his honor."

There was a brief, probably admiring, moment of silence.

"If I may," Willard interjected. "Why do you want a shuttle?"

"Thanks for asking." Luke smiled brightly. "I want to go train with a Jedi Master and there are no transports that go where I need to go."

"And where is that?"

He hesitated. "I don't think I should say. Since he's...you know...in hiding."

"There are no Jedi Masters left," Boss said quietly. "They were all killed in the Purge."

"Well, not exactly," Luke answered carefully. "Kenobi was my neighbor growing up so—"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Dodonna exclaimed. "General Kenobi is alive?"

"Not any longer." Luke waved away the question because he had no kind thoughts for the man who'd skewed his life so profoundly. "He died years ago in a Tusken attack outside Anchorhead. My point is, if he lived, others did. Or at least one more."

Willard shook his head. "If Kenobi survived and possibly others, why would Vader let them live?"

It gave him a secret thrill to flaunt his dad's wisdom in their faces. "My father said, 'you never know when you might have a use for a Jedi Master'. He wants me to be trained."

"This is not helping you." For the first time, Boss looked at him. "Why would Vader want you to train as a Jedi?"

"Well, he can't train me as a Sith," Luke explained patiently, though he didn't understand why they didn't get it. "The Emperor would know and...whoosh, off with my head."

Narra laughed nervously. "I am having a breakdown..or possibly hallucinating."

"Compose yourself, Commander," the general ordered sternly. "Why would the Emperor kill you?"

Were they dense? "Because I'm not a Sith. My— Vader doesn't want me to be because it's a...horrible life. He doesn't want that for me. He wants me to…" Luke paused. What did his dad want from him other than ruling the galaxy at his side? "I think he wants me to represent the Third Side." Warming to the idea, he turned to Boss. "On my tapes, there was a mention of Shadow Jedi. It sounded like they were...police, sort of. But if I could be Third Side, I could call myself a Shadow Jedi. In between Darkness and Light." Maybe my dad could be that too, but he didn't say so.

Willard drummed his fingers on the table. No one spoke. Luke eyed the boxes and crate. "While you're thinking, mind if I…? Thanks." No point in waiting for an answer that would probably never come.

He squatted on the floor and opened the first box. A cloak! A wonderful, Dad-like black cloak. He could imagine himself striding around the base with it billowing around him. Next box was a pair of (expensive Imperial) black boots. The crate held his black mini-Vader uniforms, a miniscule bag that must contain very few creds, some new utilitarian gray cargo pants and jackets (hah, permission from Dad to go to Dagobah!) and more educational tapes. Just how long do you think I'll be gone, Dad? This is another year's worth!

Still, it was a satisfactory haul. Rising, he grabbed the box and examined his crystal. It was clear and sharp. When he touched it, he felt a tingle run up his arm. You must meditate on a crystal before using it...until it becomes yours. He wondered how long that took. Yoda could tell him. Maybe even help him with it.

"We'll discuss it. You're dismissed," Dodonna said. "Commander Dreis, you're dismissed also."

"Okay," Luke said cheerfully, struggling with his treasures. "Oh, and Commander? I'll need a blaster when I leave. Please."

If they didn't loan him a shuttle, he'd take one. His father had told him old Jedi stories that often seemed to involve "confiscating" vehicles for emergencies. And going to Dagobah was definitely an emergency, sort of.

Balancing the crate and boxes, he had to hurry to catch Boss who was walking very fast. "Wait up! These things are heavy."

Garven turned on him. "How did you contact Jovay?"

Oh. Luke bit his lip. "I sent a message."

"How?" Then a harsh laugh was torn from Dreis's throat as he realized. "That guy—?"

Luke nodded.

"You used me. I gave you another chance and you used me."

"Sorry, I—"

"Did you use him too? Was it a setup from the beginning? The bar, the—"

"No!" Luke shifted his armload. "When I saw him a few days ago, after Command turned me down, and he was trying to get home...I just…. I had to do it. This is important. I'm sorry. I didn't think you would—"

"Try thinking about someone else next time, not just yourself," Boss snapped. "Drop off your… gifts… and get back to work."

"Yes, sir." He bit back a retort that he had been thinking and had been successful. "I asked for permission first!" he called as he struggled toward the barracks.

Sometimes you just had to act. His dad taught him that. Not everything succeeded with a "please".

OooOoo

"This is really nice," Wedge said enviously, fingering the fabric of the cloak. "Soft, but it's an armored weave."

"Where did you get all this?" Hobbie asked, shooting him a look of disbelief.

"Did somebody a favor," Luke said vaguely. They were sitting on the floor, sifting through his clothes.

Janson frowned. "Must've been some favor. Hey, it wasn't that—"

"No!" Luke interrupted. "Actually it was from a relative...an old friend."

"So it was a favor for an old friend who happens to be a relative." Sitting at the table, Zev leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Maybe someday you'll tell us the truth, Oz."

"Maybe someday," he agreed.

"Or not," Boss said caustically from the corner where he slumped. "Your whole life is a lie, why start telling the truth now?"

His fingers froze around the shirt he held and he stared at them. Yeah...maybe it was...true. All his truths were lies. He was the son of Vader like they told him, that was true...but he had lied about that his entire life. Was still lying about it. Because the one big truth had necessitated an endless litany of lies upon lies. He knew that. But for Boss to say it...that hurt. A lot. Belatedly he noticed the room had gone quiet. He should say something, laugh it off, brush it aside...but it hurt.

Wedge released the end of the cloak but remained sitting beside him. Porkins and Zev were quiet at the table.

"Ouch," Janson murmured, and Hobbie clucked unhappily.

"Krit. I'm sorry."

Luke nodded but didn't trust his voice.

"Not cool, Boss," Zev said evenly.

"I know. I said I'm sorry. I was wrong to say it."

"No…" Luke struggled to get the words out, "You're right. My life is a lie, it always has been." He bit his lip and looked across the room at Garven. "Do you think I wanted it that way? Don't you think that if I could live it over, none of it would have happened? Do you think I wanted to be different, to always have to lie to everyone, even my best friends, about everything? To have the one person I can be honest with, that I can be myself with, turn about to be the one person I have to lie about?" He couldn't stop the words that kept tumbling out.

"Oz—"

"Don't call me that." He was sick of that name, sick of trying to remember who he should be, who people expected him to be. "I've had four names in my life—or is it five, I don't remember any more—and I only ever wanted one, a real one. I should have had only one name! Everyone has only one name!" Except… Skywalkers and Vaders….

Someone tried to put an arm around him and he shoved it away. "Don't! Don't help me. I have to...I have to keep it together." He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself like his dad tried to show him. Breathe in slowly...hold...breathe out. Over and over.

"Gods," Boss whispered. "I didn't mean…."

"What do you want us to call you?" Wedge asked gently. "If not Oz…?"

"Call me Oz," Luke said tiredly. "That's the only one I'm allowed to be."

Boss was standing now, hovering. "I…."

He shook his head. "It's all right. Look...I have these clothes because I'm leaving for awhile. I'll be back, I just don't know when."

There was a silence before Porkins asked: "Where are you going?"

Luke gave a short, uneven laugh. "I'm going to train with a Jedi Master. No, they're not all dead. Maybe he can...help me get it together. Force knows, I'm not doing very well on my own, and I screw up other people's lives too."

"Whatever we can do to help," Zev mumbled, uncharacteristically awkward.

"Thanks, I'm fine. Just a minor meltdown." He heaved a shaky sigh. "But Janson, you can help me pack. I know you'll do a fine job folding. Just the boring gray ones. Boss, can I leave the rest of my things here? You'll probably get a new mechanic, but if I could store this…?"

"Of course. You'll have a place here when you return...probably won't want to be a Jedi mechanic, though."

"Whatever. As long as I have a place to go."

"You'll always have a place here," Hobbie said fiercely. "You're part of our posse."

"Family," Porkins added firmly.

Luke smiled sadly and tucked the memory of this moment into his heart, keeping it safe in case it never happened again.

OooOoo