Update: Grammar horrors fixed. Probably.


Chapter 19: Clouded Horizon

November 19th. Third Day of the CCSE.
(Near the river. 9:37 PM.)
[Takeru]

"...Then I heard you screaming, and after seeing you get kicked so mercilessly I snapped. I won't make any excuses, I let my rage take control of me."

"...I see. So you also got chased by them." Chizuru was treating my shoulder's wound.

We walked a lot after we decided to get away from the soldiers, but luckily we weren't so far from the river. It was too dark to keep moving so we decided to rest for the day, Meiya was still unconscious. I'm completely spent after today, I probably can't even walk fast for more than a minute.

"So, what happened to you guys?" Her hands suddenly stop and I can sense her tense up.

"Well, we... were ambushed at the river. Ayamine, Tamase and Yoroi managed to cross, but me and Mitsurugi were still on this side of the cliff when the soldiers surrounded us."

"And what then?"

"Tamase used a rifle she found to take down a tree that we had tied a rope to cross to the other side. After that me and Mitsurugi ran away from them, but at one point I tripped and lost my glasses. We... We kept running, as Mitsurugi held my hand tightly. They kept shooting at us, saying all kind of insults. Hic... When they got close I tried fighting back, but I just fumbled around. However... when I actually hit one of them a man got really angry and... he pulled my hair so hard, smashed my face against a tree... They threw me to the ground a-and... Hic..." Tears flow down her cheeks as she remembers what happened.

"Then, Mitsurugi assaulted them but they all ganged up on her, a woman kept me pinned on the ground so I couldn't do a thing to help her. They beat her up until she collapsed with their batons, and then... they kicked at us while laughing, saying that we were never gonna graduate. That we would end up as 'comfort corporals' in the base." Wait, what the actual F does that even... It can't be what I'm imagining right?

"And then I showed up, I guess." She nods as she finishes tying the bandage on my left shoulder.

"I can't... say that I approve your methods but... I felt truly relieved when they stopped kicking me. I thought the Instructor might have come to help us, but even when I heard your voice I felt glad. After seeing how angry you were for us, how far you were willing to go to help us... I... I'm sorry, Shirogane." She bows deeply, almost hitting her head with the mud.

"Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong. The ones at fault are the bastards that ordered this thing."

"No, it's not that. We... We were at the river without you... because we had decided to abandon you."

...

Wait... Abandon me? Is she serious? They... left me behind?

"Chizuru, what do you mean by that?"

"After Mitsurugi told us about you having a special sword, we grew more suspicious of you. We were sure you were either a spy working for America or an exile seeking revenge against the Empire. Mitsurugi told us she was ordered to not involve herself with you and... We came up with this plan to not have to be with you anymore. If we passed the CCSE and you didn't... Well, you would have been separated from the squad. So we betrayed you. And ironically, it was you the one who saved us. You're the reason we're safe, the reason we may pass the test in the end." She stops talking for a while. She can't look at me, she stays head on the ground bowing at me. "I know... I'm not worth your trust anymore, but belive me when I say this. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving us, Shirogane." She raises and looks at me with eyes full of guilt, wiping her tears.

"So... You don't want me in the squad?"

"Huh? Well... We were... I mean... If you could explain why you... No, can we leave that for later? You can get angry at us as much as you want when we get back, for now let's focus on passing this. Let's cooperate to make it to the evac point in time!"

A cold sensation spreads through my heart. She's just like the Shogun, she's using me to reach her objective. I lost sight of who they were again in my rage. Even if I want to keep them safe, I cannot trust them. They... don't feel the same way I do, just like Sensei said I must not be fooled by sweet words and smiles.

I saw them as my friends, how gullible I was. Never I expected them to back-stab me with such passion and hatred. How can I trust them now? Someone who betrayed me once can easily do so twice. I will have to limit myself to aid them from a distance, even if it hurts to admit that we cannot be together.

And yet it was that pain what gave me the strength to fight. This cold embrace gave me stalagmites far mightier than any sword I ever had. I can't help to think... This girls I want to protect, are they truly worth the risk? Should I be betting my life for them? Am I not making a huge mistake here? Can I ask them to cover my back?

A gale howls strong through the night, from somewhere on this island shadows are coming for me. They lunge their fangs menacingly, they'll devour me. To survive this harsh nights, to do the necessary cruelty, shouldn't I rely on my greatest power? Shouldn't I let these hands freeze me over?

A cold winds blows, a faint moonlight covers me. My vision grows narrow, distorting the light as the shadows turn into a wall of pure dark. Who was I fighting for? For whose sake? Who called me to stand? Do I have a reason to care for these girls anymore? Yes, myself. It's all for me, because my heart wouldn't endure seeing them die, even if they're not who I remember them as.

I beg of you, frozen hands, give me a pair of ice wings, the strength to become a maverick, to face this mad world. I have to keep fighting, I have to keep tearing. Until the day I find a way to regain my life. Until I can leave this place forever, I'll try to keep them safe. However, they might yet again plot against me. If it comes to that... Can I... harm them?

Slowly, painfully so, the hands rub my back. I feel strangely better all of a sudden, the world around me recovered it's color. I gaze at the moon, it's so beautiful when it's full like this. Did I use to look at it so much? Hmm... But from where? My house doesn't have a way to reach the roof, and... this memory feels different than the view at the tree on the hill. Who was I with? For a second I feel lightheaded and everything around me spins slowly but then it reaches my ears, a soft voice piercing through the sounds of the jungle.

"Will you promise to look at it when it's full? That way our gazes will meet under the same sky looking at it. No matter how far away you are, we will always be connected through the moon!"

...!

I look around me, scouring every shadow, every tree. I just heard Sumika's voice very clearly, as if she were right by my side. What the... We never had... a conversation like that as far as I know.

"Shirogane? What is it?" Chizuru was looking around too, apparently startled by my actions.

"I... thought I heard something. The nerves seem to have gotten to me."

"Oh yeah, I know what you mean. So... Um... Will you accompany us from now on?"

"How can I know you won't betray me again? You already admitted none of you see me as your comrade."

"I... I swear I won't. I owe you my safety, even if Mitsurugi objects I'll take your side. I always repay my debts. I swear this on my mother's name, I won't betray you again Shirogane." She looked at me in the eye with a fire glowing in hers.

Wait... Her mother? I don't remember this Chizuru ever mentioning her mother at all. Weird, another difference to the list. For the sake of convenience let's play along, I don't need them getting all hostile with me now of all times.

"Alright, I'll belive you if you tell me how you decided to leave me. Was everybody on it?"

"No, Yoroi and Tamase didn't want to leave you behind. We had to coerce them into coming with us." Ouch, I knew you were bossy but this is...

"Then what are you planning to do when we get back? You're reporting my 'killing spree' to the Instructor, right?" She looks down as her hands start shaking.

"T-There was... no warning that we would get chased by armed soldiers. And they didn't... limit themselves to capture us. I think your actions can be explained, not justified, but I do not think you'll get punished. As you said, they kept kicking us when we were defenseless, they could have killed us with a strong enough kick to our heads. You saved our lives Shirogane, at the very least I will testify on your behalf on this matter if anything happens." She stares right at my eyes, she's either a good liar or she's telling the truth. Shame Sensei never taught me how to tell when someone is lying with a straight face.

"Let's leave it at that then." I lean against a tree as I watch the stars again. Tomorrow is gonna rain again, we gotta cross fast if we wanna get past this cliff. Otherwise... I feel that blood will be spilled in large quantities. Those soldiers won't let us get away without trying to return the aggression.

"Shirogane... Can I ask you something?" Chizuru sits by my side slowly as she adjust her glasses.

"What is it?"

"Are you truly a Cadet?"

"Again with this?"

"Don't misunderstand. It's just... The way you defended us, what you said when I confronted you, it seemed as if you had already been deployed at some point." Ugh, whatever. I guess I can try to explain something if I'll shut her up.

"I was... stationed at Alaska. I woke up one day without any memories of my family or my life, and I got inducted into the UN army."

"Huh? Alaska? Wait, you lost your memories?!" I again explain the situation, according to what the records say.

"And that's the gist of it. This is classified so don't speak a word of it to anyone, but right now I couldn't care less. In my base, there was some program to train Cadets from all around the world. Everyone in my unit was from a different country." Let's try to quell her curiosity with a half truth again.

"Really? Wait... Could you have been stationed at Yukon Base?" Her voice turns into a whisper, perhaps realizing what I was about to tell her.

"Yeah, I was part of a Cadet Squad of the UN at Yukon. So I didn't belong to another army, I just got transferred to another UN base when my squad got wiped out."

"...During the Yukon Incident?" I try to remember what happened during the XM3 trials last time. I feel my stomach turning, I frown instinctively as the memories come back to me.

"Yes. It was so sudden, BETA started appearing from the ground. The lasers burned the sky, everybody was screaming, TSFs were exploding left and right. It was... a massacre." Chizuru has her eyes glued to the ground as she listens to me.

"My whole squad already had permission to pilot, so they were assigned to cover some ground. I was... In a tank, providing support. But in the end all I could do was watch as the BETA killed them all."

"Shirogane that... wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything in such a situation."

"Yes, I could. I could have killed one of those monsters before it was too late." F-ing Superior, I swear I'll erase you as fast as I can this time. No talking, no negotiations.

"Too late?" Meiya's last words come back to me again, and I can't hold back the tears this time as they slowly fall.

"There was someone... I liked a lot. I relied on her for almost everything I did. She always had the right word of advice for me when I needed it the most. She... got trapped by the BETA... and I had to shoot her TSF down. I killed her." Chizuru's eyes go wide as her lips tremble.

"You... is this what you meant when you said that you got someone killed?"

"Yep, if I had not being a coward... I could have killed the BETA before she had to sacrifice herself to stop them. I will never forgive myself for that. That's why... when I saw you two being harmed by those motherfuckers... I lost it. I will never let one of my squadmates to die in front of me without putting up a fight. Never again!"

"Umm... S-Shirogane, it wasn't... your fault, you know? I mean, you were..." Chizuru couldn't find words to say and simply remained quiet.

"That's why I trained so hard, to surpass myself. That's why I was so happy to be assigned to your squad. I guess... I just wanted a place to belong to, a place to call home. I didn't want to be all alone again. Heh, guess that's just my destiny." I wipe the tears from my eyes. Heh, what a great savior you are Shirogane. Can't face your own mistakes without tearing up.

"...Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? It's cool, I get it. You don't want to mix yourself with a foreigner, I won't get in the squad's way anymore. I'll just shut up from now on and when we get back I'll ask Sensei to take me out of the squad." Chizuru faces me with a conflicted expression as her mouth opens and closes, as if she didn't knew what to say first.

"No, you don't have... Tamase might have been right. We should... have talked things out with you from the start." I stare at her in disbelief and saw her holding back tears. Why is she crying? Is she feeling sorry for me? Or is this her plan to make me lower my guard?

"Why are you crying, Chizuru? You chose what you thought was best, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything."

"It's not that. It's just... I can relate... to what you went through. I feel awful because I know how horrible it is to have to live while carrying someone's death on your shoulders." She trying not to cry, she took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes quite strongly.

"You can relate? Did you have to fight the BETA at some point?" I don't recall that ever happening, but then again the list of differences grows bigger each day.

"What I meant was that... I also lost someone important without being able to do anything." Her voice cracked at the end there.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Let's leave it for today." I don't want to make her uncomfortable, if she still harbors hatred towards me that will only ignite it more.

"No, you told me your story despite it being classified intel, all you had to endure to survive alone. It's only fair that I tell you my reason to fight, and it'll also work as an explanation of why I chose to leave you behind." What does that mean?

"It has something to do with the fact everybody got super defensive when they learned I came from an American base?"

"Indeed. You see, my family was rather wealthy. We weren't nobles but we lived really well. My mother was a teacher at an important school in Kyoto, and my father was a member of the Capital's Congress. We never got along very well but..."

"Family is family." I smile wryly as I remember all the times I argued with my parents over the most stupidest things.

"Yeah, family is family. I had always wanted to join a military school but they never allowed me, saying there was no reason for me to fight. All of my friends had enlisted in the IJA Youth Training Program, I was the only one left out. My mother wanted me to follow her footsteps and become a teacher. She always kept reminding me of the importance of that role, in retrospect she was only trying to keep me away from the horrors of war but I saw it as if she thought I didn't have what it takes to become a soldier. I always... kept saying hurtful words to her, my Father also opposed me quite harshly and pretty much blocked any chance I had to enlist with some contacts he had. I think he was more worried that I would be used as a bargaining tool by his political enemies." Right, her dad is the Prime Minister here so if she was to become a soldier, any decision he might take to favor the IJA could be taken out of context as him favoring his daughter.

"It must have been hard for you, being negated like that. Is that why you're so determined to prove your worth to the army?"

"Well, yes. When I first enlisted I was obsessed with doing everything perfectly, that only made my interactions with Ayamine much more worse." I can already imagine how much you two must have fought. "But that's not the point. Before I got accepted into the UN, we were living in Kyoto. When the fall happened."

I remember the reports I read, the Capital fell in a single night like all the lands to the west. They couldn't put up a fight despite the Shogun's personal unit being out there as well, they still kept fighting for around a month to try to drive off the BETA but the city had already suffered a great harm by the first night.

"I frankly can't belive the capital's defenses fell in a single night. To think they couldn't stop the BETA from entering Kyoto with all the Royal Guard stationed at the frontlines." Well, they didn't have the Takemikazuchi back then so it's understandable. But they should have had many Shiranuis available at that point.

"There were many reasons for that. The most well known one is the retreat of American and UN troops." She frowns as a disgusted tone filled her voice again.

"I read that the Americans and the UN abandoned the mission because they tried to impose some orders to the Shogun."

"That's half the truth. This is secret intel so don't tell it to anyone, but my Father told me that the Americans could tell the mission was going to fail and proposed a tactical retreat to the Shogun to then nuke the BETA with napalms. Obviously, all the nobles refused and that turned into an argument. The Americans called us close-minded retards, the Shogun retorted with cowardly slavers. The discussion spiked and the American General that was stationed in the Empire due to the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation ordered all American and UN troops to retreat. This marked the end of our good relations with the Americans." Ah yes, the grudges and pride of the Empire. Why are they so prideful this time around?

"And that sealed the fate of Kyoto, right? That's why the foreigners are so hated?" She nods quite angrily.

"I can't say that what the prior Shogun did was right given the situation, but the Americans were also in the wrong. And that's not all that went wrong that day."

"You did say that it was only half the truth, what else got wrong?"

"First, you do know how many BETA attacked the Capital right?"

"I did read on it, they were close to 70000 if I'm not mistaken."

"Correct. The Americans wanted to bomb them before they got too close, but since that would have killed all the remaining population to the west of Arashiyama the Shogun vehemently refused. Fighting those numbers without powerful nukes was suicide, but the Shogun was confident that the bombs they had would be enough to deal with the smaller strains of BETA and that the new TSF they had would make a difference in battle."

"You mean the Shiranui?"

"Yes. The first week of the invasion went especially bad because the BETA decided to attack during a typhoon, so after gathering all the best troops the Empire had in the Capital, I think it's safe to assume that they got overconfident." She makes some circles in the air with her finger as a sad sigh escapes her lips.

"Ugh, this sounds like the best possible train wreck had a child with the best possible natural disaster."

"Maybe. However, the Empire had little experience fighting the BETA and the Americans didn't want to put up with our goals. While the plan to hold out the larger strains did work, without the Americans and UN troops the plan fell apart when... w-when..." She starts trembling, unable to finish her sentence.

"Hey... If it's painful you don't have to-"

"When the Warriors pierced the final defense line."

"Huh? The Warriors? Not the Tanks or Destroyers?" I haven't fought a Warrior in any of my loops as far as I recall, not that I want to be close to one of those outside of a TSF cockpit.

"You see, our troops weren't well trained in the use of ballistic ammo, so they couldn't perform area control or area denial tactics as the situation demanded according to my Father. While the larger strains were more obvious targets, many Warrior-Class slipped through the TSF fighting at the frontlines and reached the last perimeter around the city. From the start we didn't have enough TSFs to fend off the BETA, so when the city requested aid the battle got worse. The defenses were meant as a last effort to save some time, and as far as I know they only had a bunch of tanks and the rest were foot-soldiers with machineguns."

"Wait a second... They didn't leave a single TSF in the rear?!"

"No, that would have been a disgrace to any Eishi. To be sitting doing nothing while their peers are out there risking their flesh and blood for our nation would have been a punishment worse than death for them. I don't agree with it either, but we are what we are because we adhere to our honor code." That's bullshit, it has nothing to do with honor. Throwing your life away and not consider all possibilities is just madness. That's no honor, that's just blind ego. Living with shame my ass, at that point they were just looking for a place to die like Sagiri did during the coup.

"No wonder the mission failed. Nothing could have gone worse." Chizuru grimaces as she lowers her head. "Don't tell me there's more."

"Yes, there is. The Shogun was so sure of his victory that he didn't order the evacuation of the Capital's citizens." Didn't evacuate? So when the Warriors attacked...

"You have got to be kidding me. How could the Shogun decide something like that? Looking at the numbers it would have been obvious that the city would have become a battlefield. To not evacuate the civilians... That's madness."

"There was a broadcast the day before the battle. The Shogun proudly announced that all regiments from the 3rd to the 18th were stationed at the capital and it's surrounding areas, forming a wide defense line from Osaka and the bay to Kyoto's outer rims. He proudly showed in TV the near two thousand TSFs that would take place in the battle. Around five hundred Type-94, a thousand Type-89, and the rest were Gekishins and Zuikakus. The Empire brought it's best soldiers together to protect the capital at all costs, that's why after we lost we had to retreat all the way to Tokyo. We still haven't recovered from that, we still seem to have a shortage of Type-94 to this day."

"So they were confident that they could win with their aces fighting side by side, but forgot about the infantry types and when they had to send reinforcements to the city they couldn't deal with all the BETA. Sigh..." Chizuru sighs with me.

"Exactly. As you can imagine by now, most people in the Empire won't admit that what they did was a mistake because that would be like shaming the Eishis that gave their life for us, we wouldn't be honoring their sacrifice if we blamed them for the fall. So instead we placed all the blame on the foreigners, that got easier after Operation Lucifer when they dropped two G-Bombs on us without warning killing around half of our frontliners in the blast. It was a scandal all over the news, some people were even saying that we had to 'recover' our land from the UN. The attitude of some foreigners I've met hasn't done much to change the prejudices I held towards them."

Guess that explains why everybody treated me like shit. It wasn't documented anywhere but that kind of thing was 'common sense' in this place, so a Japanese that joins hands with the foreigners is seen as a traitor because the Empire blames them for all it's problems instead of admitting that it did wrong things too. But I suppose criticizing the Shogun is a crime here.

"So when the last defense line got breached around a thousand Warrior-Class swarmed into Kyoto. In the middle of the night, while we were all confident that the Shogun was going to deliver victory, sirens boomed throughout the city. I remember that my Father came with a soldier and ordered me and my Mother to evacuate. B-But obviously nobody had prepared vehicles to transport the people, so the only transportation available was given to the nobles. The rest of us had to escape on foot." I love how here they always say that people have to give their life for their nation, but when things get rough the nobles pull an 'F this shit I'm out' card and get themselves to safety without sparing a single thought for their civilians. According to the records, only the Royal Guard managed to survive the Battle of Kyoto with more than half it's crew alive.

"Chizuru, it's fine. I already know why everybody hates my guts, don't force yourself to continue." She might be a different person, but I still don't like to see her so sad.

"Please let me finish. I... We had to escape towards the eastern exit. As we moved, some soldier squads came to escort us to a group. We were many people quickly marching through the streets, I could hear the explosions at the distance, the sound of guns all over the city. We were near the exit, I could see the gates to the highway already. I thought we had made it out safely, but... Some Warrior-Class appeared from the rear, they got close to the group in the blink of an eye... T-They started rampaging through the people, they tore them apart in mere seconds. The soldiers tried to fight back but ended up getting killed. In just a few seconds... hic... everyone got..."

"It's enough, really. I got it, I didn't mean to say I was the only one that had it hard." She wipes her tears and after taking a deep breath she opens her mouth again.

"I was trying to get away desperately when one Warrior started charging at me. I froze, I thought I was going to die there. But my Mother pushed me away, and I... I could only see as that m-monster cut her in half."

Neither of us said a word for a long while. Only Chizuru's quiet sobbing could be heard in the night. What the hell is wrong with this world? Why did things turn out like this here? I thought things were bad in my past loops but...

"I thought I was going to be next, but then some Zuikakus appeared on the sky. They had no problem killing the Warriors, even if they had to mercy kill some people along them. I was saved by a few seconds, had they arrived half a minute later everybody would have gotten killed. After I got to the shelter and calmed down a bit, I thought of what could have been done to prevent that tragedy. That's when I decided that I wanted to become an Eishi, to understand about the battle protocols and someday become a General in the IJA. Someone who can guide our soldiers to the best course of action. If we had more experienced or knowledgeable commanders such a failure would never have happened, someone had to bring more options to the Shogun but no one had the valor to do so. We need to get stronger before the BETA strike again, without the help of the foreigners. The Empire needs to regain it's strength before it's too late!" Her devotion was apparent in her tone, and her eyes sparked to life with burning determination.

"But... why did you join the UN and not the IJA?"

"Because that's the only army my Father allowed me to join, I was still a minor back then so I didn't have a say in it. He was not pleased with my decision and it took me months to convince him to let me enlist. Of course, when I saw the UN's logo on the papers he brought me we had a fight over it. I can understand why he did that, but still..."

"I can understand your hate towards the Americans, but why the UN? It's not like all the foreigners are your enemies. The troops that were here back in the '98 were under the American's army, but now they have their own chain of command."

"Even so they're the same. The UN also retreated along the Americans, and from then on gave very little support to the Empire until Operation Lucifer. I'll never forgive them, they ran away without sparing a thought for us. They could have retreated to the rear and leave after they confirmed that the mission was impossible, they also heard the order to evacuate and didn't come back to provide support. They abandoned us, you do what they want you to do or they throw you away. They're despicable, who wants allies like that?! They only fight when it's convenient for them, if it's not they run away like cowards without a care about their allies' situation." Her voice was brimming with venom. I mean, it's not like I don't understand.

If the UN had left some troops on the last defense line the evacuation would have gone without a problem, nobody would have died. Warriors cannot do a thing to a TSF, leaving ten or so would have prevented that accident. That's why everyone gives the stink eye to the foreigners on the base. But to put everyone on the same bag? They're isolating themselves, the Empire will end up alone if this continues. Not that I care about it, with Yuuhi coming after my neck. She probably agrees on these feelings and is only using the UN for her own benefit, but what will she do when she doesn't need them anymore? That was a stupid question, I can already imagine it.

"I don't think it's right to put all foreigners in the same bag for the mistake some made in the past, but I can see why you all hate them so much. It's a mess."

"Sorry. I assumed you were like them. I didn't try to hear you out, as a leader and a comrade I'm a failure. We did what we hated the most, we abandoned you because we thought you were suspicious and yet you still came to our aid when we most needed you. Despite being outnumbered you didn't run away and fought with all you had for us. I do not have words to describe how grateful I am. Shirogane, w-would you be willing to give us another chance? To be a proper squad?" She looks so guilty right now, but is she telling the truth? Or is she just giving me sweet words to deceive me?

"It's alright, don't feel guilty about it. The rest wouldn't accept me now, after all I did kill fellow Japanese soldiers."

"That's... They were the ones who abused their power first. And I saw for myself that our suspicions about you were mistaken. You didn't abandon us, even after we got away. You could have very easily taken the map and the radios from me if you tried, yet you're still here despite knowing that we betrayed you. Yoroi and Tamase were against leaving you behind, and I think Mitsurugi will change her mind after we explain to her what happened."

"I don't think so. I already tried talking things with Meiya and she only grew more suspicious of me."

"Even if that's the case, she won't be able to ignore what you did for us! I'm sure she of all people will be truly grateful." I'm not so sure about that.

"I hope you're right. So what do think we should do?"

"Go to the evac point as fast as we can. We don't know how many soldiers are out there so we need to get out of here ASAP. Like you said before they went too far, something's very wrong here. I don't know if they are actually a part of the CCSE but given our encounters with them we should treat them as enemies. It pains me to say this but... if we encounter more of them we will have to incapacitate them, and if they resist... We might need to gravely harm them." She nods with her eyes closed and trembling fists.

"I agree. The first two that chased me went as far as to point a gun to my face. They weren't trying to capture me in one piece that's for sure." Now I think I should have maimed the Captain too when I had the chance.

"We have to advance with utmost caution, I don't think I could run at all if we get spotted."

"Same. I think I overdid it today, my legs feel like jelly right now."

"In any case let's rest until dawn. I'll take the first watch, you can sleep for now."

"Got it. Though I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all." Not when I still feel this cold all over me.

"I get what you mean. With the threat of the soldiers so close I'll be a miracle if we get any shuteye tonight." She sighs again as she relaxes unto the tree.

We remained quiet watching the night sky as the moon moved over the treetops. What a beautiful night, if it weren't for the looming danger of being found I would have fallen asleep a long time ago.

Now that I've calmed down a bit I should think on what I'll do from tomorrow on. It seems that these soldiers weren't sent to take care of me specifically since they went after the others, so they aren't men from the Shogunate. There's no reason for Yuuhi to attack Meiya, unless she's paranoid that she'll betray her or something. I can understand some people might want the girls to remain as political hostages, but they went too far. They could have killed them if it weren't for my intervention, were they ordered to do that? Or were these soldiers caught up in their power over the 'special girls' and got lost in their emotions?

I know that what I did was 'wrong' and that there will be consequences for my actions, but let's say I told Tsukuyomi-san about this. What would happen? The Empire would definitely lose it, so I have a card to use. If I get threatened to be kicked out of the army, I'll answer by saying I'll talk to the Empire about their 'offense' against Meiya. Maybe this was part of the CCSE but the soldiers were 'convinced' to be more aggressive during their mission. I wonder what they got in return for this? Money, a promotion, a house?

I could have justified the violence towards me since Yuuhi wants me dead, but with their actions against the girls I do not think that the Shogunate had a hand in this. At least not from the faction that supports the Shogun. I need to tell Sensei or Tsukuyomi-san about this before I'm either silenced or sent to the court. I don't know whether the Instructor will listen or not, maybe the Captain will go and convince her that I murdered his men in cold blood and that's it.

I can't let them get away with this, I have to find a way to surpass this hurdle. And if I can help the girls while I'm at it, then better. Not because I want them to love me, not because of the ones that I met before, but because I want them to live. They may hate me and we might become enemies at some point, but I don't want to see them suffer. My heart won't be able to take it, so while we are together I'll keep you safe. They better not betray me again because I can also be quite the son of a bitch when I want to.

Now then... What was that voice I heard before? It was clearly Sumika, but I don't remember ever talking with her about the moon. Well, my memory regarding my childhood isn't exactly clear. I did mistake Meiya's promise and thought I did it with Sumika instead, so I might be forgetting something here.

I rub my left shoulder slowly. It hurts way less now, I hope it doesn't get infected. I still feel those hands in my back, this feels completely different than how it was when the power plant blew up. Back then, when I turned off the lights of my room I felt a shiver all over me and a pair of cold hands on my shoulders. They were... How to say it? Small? Like, it wasn't like the feeling when your Dad or Uncle grabbed your shoulders when you were little, it was as if a friend tapped my shoulder while joking. Yet the hands now feel more... strong? Unlike before I haven't stopped feeling them at all, as if they didn't want to let go. What is this feeling?

"Uuugh..."

Meiya groans as she slowly moves her arms. Looks like she's regained consciousness, she slowly opens her eyes but she can't raise her head from the ground as she stirs under her blanket.

"W-Where... am I?"

"Good morning, Meiya."

"Eh? Who... S-Shirogane?!" Her eyes went from barely open, sleepy and glazed, to fully open and shocked.

"Shh! Don't raise your voice." Chizuru scolded her as she crouched besides the leaf bed.

"Sa.. kaki? What happened? Where are- augh!" She holds her sides as she tried to get up.

"Don't push yourself. You took quite a beating so you have bruises and scars all over. Take it easy and stay lying, yes? You'll need all the energy you can muster for tomorrow." Chizuru put the blanket over her again, Meiya lies again with a pained expression.

"My body is aching all over and my head hurts a lot. What happened? And what is Shirogane doing here?" She throws a glare at me. Sigh... I F-ing called it.

"Next time I see you getting beaten up I'll leave you to your misery." I say jokingly at her which eases her temper a bit.

"What... does that mean?"

"Let me explain, please stay quiet and let me finish." Chizuru starts telling her of what happened starting at when they got surrounded. Meiya seemed to be feeling horrible about not being able to protect her, but when she told her I disposed of the soldiers she looked horrified. Her expression didn't change when Chizuru told her we both carried her unconscious body to safety.

"You killed... two of them... and harmed the rest? Wait, how did you find us?"

"I also got chased by two soldiers. I escaped towards the west from the hill and tried to lose them, but I had to fight them in the end. Then the other soldiers contacted them via a radio, telling them that they were about to strike at you at the northwest of the island near a river. So after I finished dealing with them I started running in that general direction with my compass as a guide. Honestly it was luck, if I hadn't heard Chizuru's screams I wouldn't have found you."

"What did you do to those soldiers? Did you kill them?" Her voice was very small, but her eyes were again full of hatred. Really? You'll take the soldiers side?

"No, I broke one's arm and beat up the other one." She bites her lip. It looks like she's holding a scream.

"Can you tell me... why did you have to kill them?"

"Mitsurugi, Shirogane saved us from them. Those soldiers were-"

"Sakaki, murder is murder. He killed two fellow Japanese soldiers, and he didn't have authorization to do so. Shirogane, do you have an explanation?"

"Because I saw how you were getting beaten up. You weren't moving and they kept kicking you, even on the head. I rather die than watch and do nothing when my squad is in danger." She scowls at me with clear disgust on her face as she squirms in the leaf bad.

"Your squad? Do not play dumb! Augh!" She rubs her shoulders as pain assaults her. She shouldn't have tried to get up. "Why did you took their lives? You didn't have to-" I move closer to her putting my face a few inches away from hers. She flinches backwards but doesn't break eye contact.

"You wanna know why? Because they were going to kill you both. I don't care if they got sent by the UN, the Shogunate or another army, anyone who harms my squad is my enemy. If they try to kill you, I'll answer with the same force. If you want to die so badly, do it where I can't see you. So long as you work with me your safety will always be a priority for me. I mean, can you put yourself in my shoes for a sec? When I found you there was the possibility that you were already dead. How do you think I felt when I saw you lying still, not reacting to the kicks?" She starts shaking and breaks eye contact. I grab her chin and force her to look at me again. "Answer me Mitsurugi. How do you think I felt?"

"I-I... don't know. Y-You hate me, don't you? Weren't you happy that I was getting beaten up?" She tries to reply in a mocking tone, but soon her eyes are flooded with terror as I see my reflection in her eyes, a face of pure anger.

"Look Mitsurugi, it's true that we don't get along very well but that doesn't mean I hate you. Even if we are like oil and water, I would never let you die if I could do something about it. So, what did you want me to do?"

"Huh? W-What are you talking about?"

"Should I have abandoned you? Let you get killed by those bastards? What the hell did you want me to do when I saw that you both could get killed by those soldiers?!" I ended up screaming at her, she's shaking all over and I see tears well up in her eyes. I had tightened my grip on her face without realizing.

"Shirogane, don't scream at her. Mitsurugi just woke up, she's still shaken from what happened." Chizuru scolded me, but in a soft voice as if to not make me direct my anger at her.

"You're right. Forgive me Meiya." I let go of her chin and slowly wipe the tears of her face. She looks so weak right now.

"No, I said something I shouldn't. You're right, you did help me. T-Thank you Shirogane. Truly, I... don't know what could have been of us if not for your help." She bows slowly with an apologetic look on her face.

"That's fine. Now, stay lying. You're hurt all over so don't force yourself." I gently grab her shoulders and push her into the ground slowly. I pet her head as she tries to raise again. "Stay quiet Meiya, you need to rest."

"I am fine. And... I told you not to call me by my name." She looks so cute when she's annoyed like that. I keep petting her slowly.

"Sorry about that. But you need to rest, we need to march at dawn break so don't force yourself." She sends an angry glare at me but I ignore it and move back to the tree. Let me enjoy a little peace will you?

"I won't. I understand already. I'll rest for tonight, I won't cause you two more problems." She seems honest. She stays in place looking at me in the eye, with a light blush on her face. "Um... Thanks again. Really, I... truly appreciate what you did for me."

"I told you it's fine. I know that what I did isn't praise worthy, you just rest for now."

"Shirogane... Do you know... why we went to the river without you?"

"Yeah, because you tried to abandon me. I get it, you hate me and all foreigners. No hard feelings, for real." She looks at me incredulous.

"Are you serious? Y-You're not angry at us?"

"Oh yeah I am. But I'm also used to it by now. I'll let it slide for now, we need to pass this test. We can deal with our problems later."

"You're willing to work with us despite what we did to you?"

"The question is, are you? Can you work with me?" I get closer to her again and she moves her head to the side. She gazes at me as her hands fumble with the blanket.

"You won't... try to get revenge on me?"

"No, you're part of my squad until we finish this mission. I'm willing to put my trust in you, can we work together for these few nights, Meiya?" She pouts slightly at me. Hehe, I know you're not her but I'm so glad to see you're alright Meiya. You're alive and kicking, that's good news.

"Mmgh, why do you keep using my name?"

"Because I want to. So Meiya, can we work together until the test is over?"

"...Yes. But you're truly going to help us? I... I don't think I can fight much in my current state." She admits as shame appears in her eyes.

"Mitsurugi, neither me or Shirogane are in much better shape. All three of us are in horrible shape, so we need to work together to pass this." Chizuru is right, I don't think I could run away from them now.

"You heard her Meiya. So whether you like it or not we're working together." I smile at her and she makes an uncomfortable face.

"B-But... what we did... Are you really okay with this?"

"What, you want us to give up?" I teasingly take out one radio and immediately her eyes light up with purple flames.

"Never! B-But... You know, after what we made you go through I thought you would snap at us, like when we argued about your sword."

"It really hurt me you know. I was sincerely trying to be nice, to get along with all of you. Meiya, if you want me gone I'll talk with Sensei about it. But for now we need to work together. Can I trust in you?" I stare at her and she nods at me.

"Yes, I'll belive you. I don't know what I can do right now, but you can count on me." Chizuru breaths a sigh of relief after hearing her answer.

"Say Shirogane, can't you tell her what you told me?" Ugh, she had to go and mention it.

"For what? She's really stubborn, she won't change her mind." Meiya seems to have taken offense at my words as she shot inquisitive glares at both of us.

"What are you talking about?"

"Mitsurugi, I think we have been misjudging Shirogane. Can you hear what he had to go through?"

"I already know he lost his memory before he joined the US Army." And here we go again with America.

"No, that's wrong. He was inducted forcefully into the UN, could you please listen to his story?" I'm touched that Chizuru is trying to clear the air between us. Or is she just feigning to do so, to make me lower my guard?

"Inducted into the UN? Isn't that the same thing? Also why are you taking his side? You were also suspicious of him."

"Yes, I was. But after seeing him fight for us and hearing what he went through in Alaska I realized we were blinded by our prejudices. I think we should start treating him more fairly." She had to go and say Alaska. Meiya hates me here, there's no changing that with how stubborn she is.

"Alaska? B-But, you said after seeing him fight but... if he killed those soldiers without hesitation..."

"Mitsurugi, you and me know that those men went too far. The honor code is very clear on this, to never abuse your strength in front of a defenseless adversary. Shirogane could have abandoned us when he saw himself outnumbered, yet he risked his life and militar record to save us. He will probably be punished for the deed of saving his comrades from a clear case of abuse." Chizuru was talking like when she was Class Rep, waving a finger in the air and with that aura of a pissed off mom.

"I know that I owe him a great debt. But... But he's still suspicious, didn't we talk this out already? Or will he tell me all the answers I want?" She takes a look at me narrowing her eyes, piercing me with her intel-hungry gaze.

"I don't know if I'll explain everything you want to know about Shirogane, but it clears up a lot of things. Why he is so talented, why he couldn't talk about his training and old squad, why he was scouted by the XO and assigned to our base. Shirogane, could you?"

"Sigh... Fine, I get it."

I told her what I told Chizuru. How I failed to save someone and had to kill her, how I was 'forced' to join the UN as a Cadet, how my squad was made and that we had special training, how after the Yukon Incident I had nowhere to go since my squad and Instructor died and Yuuko-sensei scouted me to arrive at Yokohama.

"All of this is classified intel, so don't tell this to anyone." Meiya nods as she strokes her bangs slowly.

"You do not need to tell so, I understand. So you were there during the incident... You were part of a special squad... I cannot imagine the severity of the situation you had to go through. So when your unit got killed you got a proposal to join our base, and since the authorities at Yukon didn't have a place for you they agreed to transfer you? Is this the truth?" She looks at me intently, seriously why do you doubt me so much?!

"I'm sure Sensei pressured someone to get the deal done. Supposedly, she was interested in having such a promising recruit on her base. I also used the chance to come back here, although in hindsight that might've been a mistake." I let out a sigh as I relax unto the tree.

"What do you mean by a mistake? Are you unhappy to be back in your homeland?" Meiya's accusing glare and voice reached my ears yet again. Oh no, I wonder why I feel so uncomfortable here.

"I frankly don't know why am I even here. I guess I was just trying to protect a memory I had, but that no longer exists. I wanted to help save lives, to prevent more disasters from occurring. Yet I was met with insults, hatred and betrayal when all I ever did was do my best to help." I let out my true feelings as I feel my eyes water. The cold slowly gets more intense within me.

I'm chasing a lie, I thought I could do the impossible and fix all the causal effects, but maybe my stupidity was punished by sending me here. A world where everyone is against me. Sensei tried to kill me, Yuuhi and the Shogunate are after me, the whole base treats me like shit, and my squad betrayed me. I can't even go back to my home world for more than a day without dooming everybody to a horrible death. Sigh...

"U-Um... Forgive me, Shirogane. I've... been treating you very harshly since I woke up, despite all you did. Could you forgive my actions against you? If there's anything you wish from me, I'm more than willing to-"

"No. I won't forget what you did today."

"Huh? Shirogane you said that we should work together just a while ago!" Chizuru sounded shocked for some reason.

"I'm willing to work and trust you until the test is over. But I won't forget that you wanted to make me fail. Otherwise I'll end up confusing you again."

"Confusing us? Whatever does that mean?" Meiya looked lost at my words.

"What I meant was... I was probably trying to replace the void I felt in my heart with all of you. I felt so powerless and alone when I lost them that when I got another chance and got here I was truly happy. But you're not them, you don't even see me as a squadmate. Especially you Meiya, I bet you see me as nothing but a dirty foreigner. Your attitude since you woke up hammered that home. I will cooperate with you and try my best to not get into any more fights from now on. But I won't treat you like I treated them no more, I'll start treating you how you treated me. After all you did want me gone, and in your case Meiya you probably still want to throw me in prison."

"Shirogane please calm down! Arguing like this won't take us anywhere. I told you I would start treating you more fairly. Let's leave this discussion for after we pass the test, please?" Chizuru was trying to calm me down, but I can't no longer ignore this cold feeling in the back of my head.

"That's assuming there is a tomorrow for me. For all I know I might get court-marshalled for saving your lives. Meiya might even go and testify against me, saying I murdered the soldiers in cold blood like she did some minutes ago." Meiya's eyes flares up in anger, and she gets up from her bed to face me.

"What did you say?! I... That's what you did. You murdered them. B-But... they also were trying to kill us one might say, they did went too far. You did save us from them... Well, I won't testify against you Shirogane. So there is no need for you to be hostile with me. Please belive me when I say that I do not harbor ill will towards you now." Meiya looks at me with an apologetic look as she caresses her ponytail.

But I think you meant 'for now' instead. How curious, you change your attitude when you need my help just like your sister. What are you gonna do when you don't need me anymore? I'm still gonna protect you, but if I have to rough you up I will. I have no certainty that you won't try to knock me out to make me fail the test after all.

"So you won't do anything to harm me? Can I trust in you, Meiya?"

"Yes. I never forget my debts. I want more answers out of you and I still think you're suspicious, but that doesn't mean I do not recognize the deed you did for me today. It's just... You've always kept quiet about everything. To see you now be so open is a bit surprising."

"I always told you all the truth." And you all always refused to listen and kept insisting I was 'holding back' and 'hiding stuff'.

"But you never truly explained anything! Especially regarding your sword. Can you blame me for being doubtful?"

"Trying to send me to prison is a bit more than being doubtful, I say."

"You two, stop this. This isn't the time to-" Meiya speaks louder than Chizuru as her frown returns and her eyes twitch slightly.

"I already told you, swords are very important here. You might not remember it so allow me to remind you that only nobles and members of the Royal Guard can possess a katana. For someone like that to give their sword to someone who was trained abroad... Regardless, I let my prejudices and jealousy cloud my mind. I admit my mistake, and once more I thank you for your actions." She bows to me, and then faces me with a strange expression as she moves her hair out of her face.

"It looks like you want to say something else."

"I'm just jealous of your determination, that's all. You truly are a perfect soldier. I didn't have the valor to strike at my fellows even when they assaulted me with all their might. I know that I've hurt you and pushed you away, but could you spare some kindness to give me another chance? If you wish anything from me, say it. I desire nothing more than your forgiveness right now." She seems honest. But she is the Shogun's sister, she also...

"How do I know you're not lying?" She seems offended by my words. She folds her arms as she narrow her eyes. Her lips tremble slightly, I suppose she's holding back an insult.

"...I would never do so. As a fellow holder of the Minari Kamui, even if I'm unsure of how you got it, I would never taint my honor by lying to you in such an important matter. So can you forgive the offense I did unto you?" I mean, she never lied so far. She is still the same straightforward and honest Meiya I always knew in that regard.

"What has the sword to do with this though?"

"Huh? You... Wait, you cannot tell the meaning of the Minari Kamui?!" She looks dumbfounded. I have no idea what the name means.

"No. I know it's special, but I have no idea how important it is in the Empire." Meiya's mouth hangs wide open and her eyes look like they could pop out of her face any second now.

"Mitsurugi, what is it about that sword? I mean, you never told us you had one too." Chizuru stared at her as she adjusted her glasses. Meiya seems to realize she just said something she shouldn't as she makes a terrified face.

"Ah... Well, that is... It was supposed to be a secret. I answered without thinking."

"So you wanted to go against Shirogane for having a sword when you also have one?"

"W-Wait! I did receive it through the right means. I mean, he doesn't even know how important it is." She has a point there, I have no idea how important it is in this world.

"Then, can you explain me what is it with that sword you both have?" Chizuru got closer and sat near Meiya, making her gulp. I think Meiya didn't want to talk about this.

"Shirogane, do you know of the color ranks of the nobility?" What is this about?

"Err... It's black for commoners, white for vassals, red for vassals that are in direct service of the nobility, yellow for nobles, blue for the Regent Houses and purple for the one who is the Shogun."

"Correct. Then, what is the color of the hilt of our swords?"

"Blue? Are you saying it's related to the Regent Houses?" Meiya smiles proudly for some reason.

"Exactly! The Minari Kamui is a special sword that belongs to a specific house within the Regent Houses. The rest of the nobles and members of the guard wield nameless katanas, but each house has a special blade design unique to them. Holding one such blade gives one recognition within the Empire. It's as if you were part of said house and gives you authority over their vassals." Chizuru gasps as her face goes pale.

"Wait one sec... So holding our swords is almost like being a noble?"

"Not almost, you are a noble. Someone who is trusted to such length to be given the house's blade, someone who is considered family despite not sharing a blood connection, someone who can stand behind the leader of the house with a weapon at the ready. To give that someone the proper status, that is the meaning of all blue katanas in the Empire." She finishes with a proud nod as she puffs her chest.

"Wait a minute! Shirogane, do you have one of those too?!" Chizuru looked shocked, her glasses are gonna fall off.

Maybe bringing the Minari Kamui wasn't a bad idea. It was a horrible one. How am I going to explain this?! No forget that, what effects will this have if people learn about this? I'm sure that the number of people that have blue katanas is very low, and all leaders must know of them. If they learn that there's no one who could have given me the sword... They might assume I came with a fake one to take advantage of it. Great, just what I needed.

"I mean, yeah I do. But I didn't knew it was so important and I didn't plan on using it. It was... a memento from someone."

"You were chosen by someone to take their place in service of a house. They must have trusted you much to give you such an honor. I... won't negate that I felt extremely jealous when I found it. You had the same status as I, yet you are incredibly more adept and gifted than me. I did not want to admit that you were also chosen to serve her, I felt intimidated. I saw you as an obstacle... So I tried to get rid of you, by any means. It was a most foolish display on my part, and a grave stain on my honor." Meiya bows to me again in apology.

She said 'also chosen to serve her', didn't she? The person Meiya serves... The house that gave her the blade, the Regent House to which the Minari Kamui belongs... A shiver runs through my body as the realization comes to me.

"Mitsurugi, what did you mean by obstacle? Why didn't you think that Shirogane was your fellow in service?" Oh? Nice question Chizuru.

"I thought he could replace me. My mission is my reason to live, if I ever became a burden or if someone else could perform such duty better than me..." She grows silent as a shade of darkness appears on her eyes. " When my sources refused to give me any intel on Shirogane and took his side during our argument I thought that they might be comparing us, to see which one of us was the better soldier. Especially after seeing him defend his blade so vigorously, Shirogane I felt a passion, a devotion so fierce from you that it made me doubt whether I was truly as dedicated as I could be. So... my weakness took control of me when they made me lower my head to you. I felt so inferior I wanted to cry, I did not want to admit that... they might have decided to replace me."

"And that's why you came to me and Ayamine to ploy a way to make Shirogane fail the CCSE?" Meiya keeps her gaze on the ground, unable to meet our eyes. A few tears run through her cheeks.

"Forgive me. I was weak. I was jealous of you, I felt so inferior, so useless. I only have one place to be, if I lost it... I... I'll lose my freedom again. I still wish to know who gave you the sword and whether or not you're recognized as a legitimate holder of it, but that doesn't change the fact that I went against the honor code. I cannot keep dirtying the honor I was bestowed with my inexcusable behavior. We can talk this out freely when we return to the base. But I swear to you now that I, Meiya Mitsurugi, will not raise my hands at you. I'll testify on your behalf if any charges are pressed onto you, I'll do all I can to aid us in passing this test. I can only beg you can spare any kindness to forgive my rudeness towards you, a fellow holder of the Minari Kamui. Shirogane, I ask you to forgive me. Belive me when I say this, I will honor our pact and will not betray you during this test." She bows again, I can tell she sounds serious. But that last words...

"During the test? What about after it? Are you going to keep coming after me?" Her shoulders grow smaller, she trembles slightly and cannot meet my gaze. It almost feels as if I were bullying her.

"I mean... I wish to know... whether you have the right to hold that blade... before making any promises. You truly do not know of it? You're not... here to replace me?" She looks at me with a longing gaze, as if begging me for an answer.

"I do not know. But I'm not here to replace you or anything. I told you the sword was a present, nothing more. I am not a servant of the house it belongs to, it's meaning for me is a memorial of someone very important for me."

"B-But... do you not wish to... serve the Empire? To become a noble?"

"With how you all have been treating me, the last thing I want is to get close to the Shogunate." Perhaps I said it with too much hatred, because Meiya looked terribly angry after hearing my words for some reason. But as our gazes met, apprehension returned to her face.

"I'm... sorry... Please, Shirogane. Forgive me. I have admitted my mistake, I recognize the debt I owe you. I... " She gets on her knees and brings her head to the ground. "I beg of you, please forgive me. As a samurai in training, I cannot live with such dishonor on me. Please, forgive my actions."

"You just want me to not talk about this to the 1st. Lt. of the Guard that's at the base, right?" She twitches, so that's her goal. She isn't sorry at all. "I wasn't planning on doing that. So drop the act, I know you hate me so you don't have to force the politeness anymore."

"I'm not feigning anything! I... I truly am ashamed of myself. Please... For me, my honor is all I have. I cannot move on until I've mended my mistake. Please accept my help Shirogane. Let me mend the harm I did on you."

She's taking the honor code too seriously. I'm not even a 'noble' here. Actually, I'm your enemy since Yuuhi wants me dead. I have no idea how I'm going to explain this. She must have a list of who have this swords, she will immediately know I shouldn't have this, add that to the fact that she knows I'm not this world's Takeru and you have a giant problem. Takamura looks like a little pebble compared to what I'll have to face. Wait, that's only... if they know of it.

"I'll forgive you on one condition."

"What is it?! State your terms, you can ask anything of me!" Meiya, why are you so desperate? No, if she truly lives for Yuuhi... then losing her honor equals disappointing her sister. She might lose her sword and role if Tsukuyomi-san learns of her actions. Let's use this to my advantage.

"Anything at all?" I say in a teasing tone and she goes red. Why is she getting embarrassed?

"I-I mean... Almost anything. So long as it's something I can do without going against my morals."

"I want you to not tell anyone about my sword. Don't worry, I don't plan on using it to gain any status or anything. I fear that since I never got any approval to have it, and since I trained abroad, the house it belongs to might ask for it. You know, can't leave such an important thing in the hands of a foreigner. But the blade means a lot to me, I don't want to lose it. So, can you keep those lips of yours shut?" She grimaces as she looks at me, as she brings one hand to the back of her head.

"To shut my lips? I mean... I should report this... Even if you do not, if someone else got hold of it..."

"Then, no deal. I won't forgive you ever." I think I just broke her mind. She makes fists with both hands as she bites her lips. She seems to be debating with herself.

"Shirogane, don't be so cruel to her. Mitsurugi is very prideful, to have her apologize like this... Please, just accept her apology."

"No, because if she does talk I'll lose the only thing I have to remember them. It's the only thing I have left. And that's without mentioning all the trouble I'll get into if the leader of the house decided to brand me a thief as well." Chizuru nods and rubs her right shoulder.

"B-But that's... I mean, I know that might be the case but..."

"Shirogane, what you ask of me is treason. Isn't there anything else you desire of me?" She looks at me pleadingly. Stop that, don't make that face.

"No."

"Please, there has to be something. I... What do you want me to do?!" Her eyes start watering, her voice was almost cracked.

"I already told you."

"I cannot comply to your order. It goes against the person who gave me my blade. Allow me to mend my mistakes, I cannot simply leave this stain on me."

"Yes, you can. You do not need my forgiveness. You can still become a samurai so long as nobody knows of what you did."

"They will know. Yoroi said... She'll tell the Instructor. They'll arrive at the evac point before us, and she'll know. She is surely going to punish me, and that won't go unnoticed by the 1st Lt., she'll ask why I'm being punished and then... then..." She starts crying as she quivers on the ground. So that's what this is about. Even if I say nothing, if Mikoto and Tama talk she's done for. Serves you right, I say.

"So why do you want me to forgive you? If in the end they will know of-"

"Because my offense can only be mended by you. Only you, who I have wronged, can lift the stain on my honor. If... If you tell so to the 1st Lt. I'm sure she will still scold me, but I won't lose my sword and mission. Please... Ask anything you desire of me, anything at all. But don't force me to keep tainting my honor." She looks up to me with... the same crying eyes Meiya had... when I killed her.

No, shut up! Why... did you have to confess to me then? Why did you... Is this karma? I broke your heart, so you broke mine?! Stop! Damn laser, don't shoot! No! Shut up already!

"Shirogane? Could you spare me a chance to redeem myself?" Meiya's sweet voice reaches me ears. Stop torturing me, first you treat me horribly, now you want to break my mind too?!

"Shut up already." She stiffens up at my answer.

"Huh? I-I apologize! B-But please..." Don't do anything stupid Takeru. No hugging her, no kissing her, no touching her. She is not her. She isn't. She's gone. Gone, I tell you. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

"Whatever. So long as you don't back-stab me I don't care anymore."

"Eh? What... You..." Did she... got tilted? She's quiet in place, not even blinking. She stays there... unmoving.

"Mitsurugi? Are you okay?" Chizuru waves a hand in front of her but she doesn't react.

"Oi, you alive? Did she faint?"

"You... forgave me? Just like that?" She looks at me with glazed eyes, as if she were completely out of it.

"Yeah, whatever. You have been forgiven Meiya."

"Don't... Don't be ridiculous! I... I tried to... You can't just..." Why is she getting so angry?!

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?"

"Yes! But... You can't just forgive me without allowing me to earn your forgiveness! I must do something to win it."

"Then you can start from tomorrow by doing your best."

"That's not enough. You have to ask for something tangible, something I can do for you. I was already going to cooperate, it's not something I would do for you specifically." Sigh... Now she's folding her arms, this feels like when she scolded me when I couldn't talk with dignity when we married back in my world.

"So you want to do something for me to earn your forgiveness?"

"That's what I've been telling you! There has to be something you want from me. I can get you many things with my contacts, or I can try to find information about your past. So long as it doesn't break my morals or goes against the Empire, it can be anything."

I mean... I don't really want to get you involved in the past of this world's Takeru. If she found out 'I' was part of the Guard... I don't want to imagine what she'll do. But isn't there anything I want from Meiya? I don't like seeing her so sad, even if this Meiya deserves some punishment. Hmm... Wait...

"Alright. I think I know what I want." I smirk at my sudden idea.

"Truly? Tell me, I'll do it!" She gets up and gets closer to me, her eyes sparkling.

"You will do it right?"

"If I can then I will. No matter what kind of task you ask me to perform for you, or what item you ask of me. I will comply to your orders." She is honest so she isn't lying. Hehehehe!

"Shirogane, you better not ask her to do anything dirty." Chizuru was giving me a hateful glare.

"Sakaki, stay out of this. Let Shirogane decide freely, this is to be my punishment. If... If he wants to shame me... Then I will not resist him." What the actual hell is she even thinking I'll ask her to do?! Do I look like that kind of man to you?!

"It's nothing bad so stop talking like that. I mean, what are you even thinking? Being shamed without resisting?"

"Huh?! I mean... I thought you would want me to... F-Forget about it. So, w-what do you wish of me, Shirogane?" Her face is red as a tomato. Teasing her is always so much fun. Though I still wonder why she thought of such a thing. Did she think I would want to take her as a form of revenge?

"I want you to let me call you Meiya. No more complaining."

...

"S-Shirogane, I seem to not have heard your order very well. What did you ask of me?"

"To let me call you Meiya as much as I want." For some reason her face is getting even redder, her mouth opens and closes and her eyes dart from me to the ground.

"W-Why... Why do you want that? I mean, you could... make me do any other-"

"No. I want you to stop complaining when I call you Meiya."

"But why?! I mean... If that's what you want, I will allow you to call me by my name. But... Don't you hate me?" She seems to be nervous for some reason.

"Not really, no. I'm upset at you, like I am at the rest. But I just want to call you by your name, and now you have no choice but to comply." And I just like saying it, even if you're a different Meiya.

"I... guess. Yes, alright. I allow you to call me Meiya from now on. But can you explain me why? You were so against forgiving me just a second ago."

"It's a beautiful name, that's all. And I'm not so stupid to keep antagonizing you. So let's work together to pass the test, Meiya. Um... Meiya?" She looked tilted again as smoke comes out of her ears.

"Shirogane, I think you broke Mitsurugi. You don't just tell someone their name is beautiful like that!"

"Why? Is it another weird custom of the Empire?"

"No, but... Isn't it embarrassing? I would get so ashamed if someone told me that with a straight face." Chizuru is also blushing. What is wrong with both of you tonight?

"Hey Meiya, you in there?" I wave my hand in front of her and she seems to have come to her senses.

"Huh? What is it Shirogane?" She spoke slowly in a monotone voice.

"Meiya, you look tilted. You okay?" She slowly nods.

"Til... ted?" Meiya looked at me with a puzzled face. She's broken, completely.

"Mitsurugi, are you really okay?" Chizuru patted her shoulder and she twitches. Looks like she rebooted.

"Eh... Yeah, it was just... shocking to hear him say that my name..." She blushes and can't finish her sentence. "A-Anyways! We now have our accord so... Do you truly forgive my actions, Shirogane?"

"Yeah, you have been forgiven Meiya." She smiles widely at me, like the Meiya of my world used to do.

"Thank you... Truly, you have my utmost gratitude. I swear that I won't let my feelings cloud my judgment ever again. However, just to clarify, I'm still suspicious of you. I want an explanation on how you got your sword and who gave it to you, and I will inform the authorities about your blade in due time. After all, you have different values than us and if the blade fell in the hands of an enemy of the Empire the consequences will be catastrofic."

"Yes, I know. Let's do peace for the remainder of the test. We can talk our problems at the base." Meiya nods at my words, signing our deal.

"Well, how do you two wish to take shifts for sleeping?" Straight to business, as usual for our blue haired girl.

"I'll take the first as we agreed before. Shirogane, I'll wake you up in four hours or so. Mitsurugi you just rest, you got it the worst from all of us."

"Understood. Forgive me for pushing this burden onto you two."

"Don't sweat it Meiya, you're the one who needs it the most." She avoids my eyes as she slowly gets under her blanket.

"Y-Yes, I will need all the energy I can get for tomorrow. Good night, you two." And she gets completely under her blanket. Is she embarrassed? That's so not like this Meiya.

"Sakaki, remember to have the gun nearby just in case. If you hear anything wake me up." She nods at my words and I go lie against the tree I was before.

I didn't expect this. The sword... is a symbol of the Koubuin house. And I have a tickling clock over my head to deal with this issue. Meiya will tell Tsukuyomi-san eventually, and that's the day they become my enemies. No... Tsukuyomi-san is already my enemy. Meiya still doesn't know about me. The blade might make them stop being careful, I need to talk with Sensei as soon as I come back to the base. Sensei said that Takamura could arrive during the CCSE, so Tsukuyomi-san may already have received a new set of orders. It might be too late already.

Maybe I can use Meiya to buy me some time? Nah, no way in hell she'll agree to help me. It really doesn't matter whether I forgive her or not, in less than a week she will turn into my enemy again. Not only her... If I'm right about this... having a 'fake' sword of the Shogun's house... might be one of the worse crimes, even worse than treason. It could be seen as an offense against the Empire's order, or the Shogun's integrity. I'm so effing dead, aren't I?

Can I hide somewhere on the base and fight with my voice distorted like during Niigata? I mean, Sensei might figure something out. I just keep giving her problems no matter what I do.

I need to sleep. In just a few hours we have to run, once we make it to the first evac point if we are not being tailed... We can escape with the boat. One or two days, that's all I need. Every second counts here, the sooner I get back to the base the sooner I can talk with Sensei about this. About the sword, the soldiers and the girls betrayal. I might have to leave the squad for real. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there, for now... I need to rest.

I put the blanket over me, it smells bad. Considering how much it rained and all I ran it's not surprising. I can only hope everything goes alright. And after taking one last look at the moon, I let sleep's spell take over me.


[Musoo]

My breathing is still rugged. They're getting close. I grab my sword tighly, and feel the weight of the 9mm Gun on my waist. I never thought... they would go so far. The smell of burnt wood has long since filled the hallways, the sound of gunshots coming from the gardens have not yet ceased. I can expect no backup.

I look at her frail figure lying on the futon. Forgive me Koubuin-sama, for I have failed you. The gash on her back is drilling at me, one second too late and her life might have faded. No, it still wasn't safe to assume she'll survive.

I heard voices getting closer. I jump onto the wall and climb unto the small air vent. I peek towards the hallway after nudging myself into the small space, I see three black-cladded figures. Enemies.

I return to her room, they will enter from the front door and I will assault them from above. As the door opens forcefully and the men enter the room I fall from my hidding place on the roof, sword at the ready. I slash one's neck as I fall, and I launch myself forward as I land driving my sword into another's stomach from behind.

"Damn you bastard!" The last remaining man took out his blade and charged at me.

I side step to my left and slash at his shoulder, he blocks and sends a slash from my right. I move to pressure him from my right, he takes a step back and launches a downward slash from my left. I stay still as I deflect his strike with my blade using all my might, no matter how skilled I might be fighting a bigger opponent is never an easy task. Then putting force into my feet I return the blow. His arms got yanked upwards, leaving his body wide open. I take my chance and take a step forward, slashing at his neck. The man falls to the ground with a groan, as he drowns in his own blood.

I can't hear no more footsteps nearby. I'm starting to feel sick, I never thought... that killing could be so intoxicating. It's a horrible taste the one that fills my mouth. For the sake of my duty, I can do anything. Or so I thought.

The sound of footsteps resonate again on the hallway, approaching quite fast. I won't have time to hide, I grab my gun and point it at the door from a blank point. However, the figures I see are not those of the aggressors.

"1st Lt. Tsukuyomi!" I greet her as she arrives with four members of the guard behind her.

"You... what are you doing here?" Her cold eyes through the glasses make me flinch.

"I... I am protecting-"

"Do you call this protecting?! You useless fool!" She grabs me by the collar, almost choking me.

"I... There were..." I cannot form a sentence under their spiteful glares. I know the guard doesn't exactly like me... but still...

"Ichimonji, take Yuuhi-sama to safety. Fuudo, Juutsuya, Tayama. You three secure the area. Understood?!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" All of them answer in unison and get on her orders immediately.

"You... follow me, we will open a path for Ichimonji to take Yuuhi-sama to safety." She addressed me coldly, and I follow closely behind as we make our way to the right side of the hallway. "Tell me what happened. How many where they?"

"Five. I had trouble dealing with one of them, and another knocked Koubuin-sama before trying to kill her. I barely managed to attack him to make him fail on his deadly intent. But..."

"You still failed. Is this all you can do? All the time we spent on you, for this? You disappoint me, where are all those brave words you spoke before?"

"My apologies." I bow as we walk, I have nothing to retort with. Because of my weakness...

"Hmph, that way of speech does not suit you. I hope you're ready to keep fighting, it seems someone leaked our patrol's data and our weaponry to these terrorists."

"You mean... someone of the Regent-"

"Do not utter another word." Her cold eyes stop me from finishing. I sometimes forget how scary she can be.

"But then who-"

"Do not ask. You need not know, you're a blade. A blade asks no questions. Focus on your mission, slaughter all who would harm Yuuhi-sama. I'll say it one more time, lose that little humanity you still have within. Let loose, have no moderation in your strikes. You are a member of the Royal Guard, we do not hold back in front of our enemies. Was I clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am." This intel could only be leaked by someone of the Regent Houses. This Empire is rotten, how dare they point their blades towards their fellows? And sending terrorist to do their dirty work no less.

"Perfect. Now make haste, our comrades won't hold out for long. Let me remind you, being inducted into the Royal Guard is one of the greatest honors a Japanese citizen can ever hope to receive. Maybe my words are falling on deaf ears, but I still have high hopes placed on you."

"I'll do my best to answer to them." I feel so out of place here. I much rather go back to my old station. Working alone suits me best, and all this forced dignity is making me sick.

We're under attack and you bother with the honor speech? I already know what my role is. I already saw the consequences...

The sound of footsteps reverberates nearby. We both ready our guns and open fire at the soldiers that turned the corner. I won't hesitate... I can't hesitate... For her sake, I...

The hallway is painted in red. The 1st Lt. gives me a stern look as my knees started to shake. Can you blame me? I never had to kill anyone... And now...

"Make haste, time is of essence!" I resign myself to my fate as I follow her lead.