Chapter 18

18A - Upgrading the Star Rod

Rewinding to 7:20 PM, just as Mario and friends took off from the Star Road to Bowser's Castle, Kammy arrived at a giant platform where Peach was tied to a six-foot tall pole near the north end of the platform.

"Okay, Princess Peach!" Kammy said while stopping in front of Peach and getting off her broomstick. "I know you don't care about what I'm doing right now, but I'd like to tell you something."

"Anything but mentioning Mario and Luigi," Peach requested.

"Why? Am I gonna make you scream for them if I mention their names?"

"No. I-"

"Yes, you are!" Kammy interrupted. "That's what you've always done! What is it that causes you to scream for them anyway? Is it a nervous tic?"

"Who cares? Nobody!" Peach shouted.

"Oh, I care about it just as much as King Bowser does, Princess Peach," Kammy responded. "Now, allow me to do something first before I tell you what I want to say."

Kammy walked to the east end of the platform and took out a small notepad with a blue pen.

"All right. Let's see here..." Kammy said to herself. She flipped a couple pages to a checklist called "Power Platform Assets".

"Electric generator... Check," Kammy began while going over the checklist. "Structural support... Check. Smoke and light display... Check. Face lights... Check. User detector... Check. Hovering thrusters... Check. Spiky spin tables... Check. Invisible barriers... Check."

Having finished her checklist, Kammy turned on her earpiece and said, "Your Vileness."

"Yes, Kammy?" Bowser replied over her earpiece.

"I just looked over the checklist, and the Power Platform is ready to be fired up once those Mario Bros. arrive at our castles!"

"Are you sure you've looked it over?" Bowser asked. "You should look over it at least one more time. I don't want any of those assets to stay off while you power up the platform."

"Absolutely. I will do so," Kammy said before turning off her earpiece. She took a couple minutes to look over her checklist again before putting away her notepad and pen. Kammy then approached Peach again.

"Sorry about that. I had to talk to King Bowser about something."

"What was it about?" Peach asked with curiosity.

"None of your business! No one eavesdrops on his evildoings like you've done all the time since we locked you in your bedroom!" Kammy replied with frustration. "Speaking of which, how come King Bowser didn't pay any mind to whatever path you've been using to escape?"

"He's an idiot! That's who he is!"

"An idiot? Absolutely not!" Kammy retorted. "He's been the smartest Koopa I've known since we first met! He came up with the awesome idea of constructing a hidden castle underground before lifting your castle into the sky!"

"Your guards are also idiots, Kammy!" Peach said. "They began to disappear one by one because they were too lazy to catch me while I was sneaking around!"

"Wow. I didn't know that," Kammy lied. "You're not just a tough princess. You're a smart one too."

"I had to spray and slap Bowser! He was harassing me!" Peach argued.

"No, he wasn't. He just cares about you so much," Kammy replied. "Didn't I mention he's thinking about marrying you?"

"NO!" Peach screamed while struggling. "I'LL NEVER MARRY A CREEP LIKE HIM! HE'S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT MENTALLY ILL PERSON CALLED BOOSTER!"

"Hmm... I've heard about that man..." Kammy said. "You're right about him being mentally ill because he doesn't know what a wedding is and assumed you crying was a simple salty water leak."

Even Peach was angry, she started laughing, having remembered Booster's antics four and a half years ago.

"Stop that laughing, Princess Peach!" Kammy ordered Peach. "This is no joking matter!"

"Fine," Peach gave in while calming down.

"Anyway, here's what I really wanted to say," Kammy started. "The platform you're standing on is obviously where King Bowser will battle Mario and Luigi, but it will not be a simple fight. That Star Rod's invincibility spell is currently at 50% of its actual power because once he steps on this platform, he'll be more invincible that he'll ever be in his life."

"On top of that, I've installed some cool special effects such as a smoke and light display, spinning spikes, and an orange face bright enough to attract the guards' attention," Kammy went on. "So, not only will it serve a serious purpose, but it should make it even more fun to watch King Bowser destroy Mario and Luigi! How about that?"

Before Peach could reply, Kammy butted in, knowing what she's gonna say. "No, no, no. Don't speak. You don't care. That's what you're thinking."

"It's not that, Kammy," Peach said. "It IS actually gonna be a fun time."

"Oh great! I'm glad you're willing-"

"To see Bowser be crushed by Mario and Luigi!"

"Shut it, Princess Peach!" Kammy yelled. "I'm giving you one warning! If I hear you say Mario or Luigi's names, I'll tape your mouth so I won't hear a single word from you!"

"But what if Twink wants to speak to me?"

"Who's Twink?" Kammy asked while denying Twink's appearance. "And what kind of name is that?"

"It doesn't matter! I can speak whenever I want!" Peach said.

"Nope. You're not saying anything. After all, you should treat this like it's a movie. Moviegoers don't speak while watching it, you know."

"This is an exception! I get to interact-" Suddenly, Kammy pointed her wand at Peach's mouth, but didn't do anything else.

"You better watch your mouth, Princess Peach," Kammy threatened Peach. "Do not test my rules." Kammy walked back to her broomstick. "I'd like to talk with you more, but I gotta check on King Bowser for now. Don't move a muscle." Kammy proceeded to fly away from the Power Platform, leaving Peach by herself.

"I really want to say 'Mario!' and 'Luigi!', but I know they're not here yet," Peach said to herself. "I'll wait until they show up. I promise."