A/N I'm tired, so here's a song parody based on "Four Jews in a Room". Count how many times bitch is said. I'm gonna play animal crossing.

...

Hajime, Makoto, Kaeda, and Shuichi are all stuck in self quarantine. By the time of the third week they've gone so crazy arguing with each other they start singing about their woes.)

All: Four protags in a room bitching;

Four protags in a room hiding from Covid-19

I'm bitching. He's bitching

They're bitching. We're bitching

Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

All the time!

Hajime (looking out the window): Whadda they do for talent?

Others: Oooo

Hajime: Whadda they do for talent?

Others: Oooo

All: Four protags in a room

Hajime: Bitching

Makoto: Bitching

Shuichi: Bitching

Kaeda (loudest): Bitching

All: Four Protags in a room stoop

They stoop?

(Kneeling down on knees)

To pray

Makoto (smiling): I'm a protag.

Shuichi (happy): I'm a protag

Hajime (groaning): I'm a protag

Kaeda (bitter): Half Protagonist

All: Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Night and day

Komaru (Banging on the other side of the door): You forgot me, you forgot me!

All: We survived the tragedy

Pleading for our lives

Challenging Junko Enoshima

Who was up to no good

Now we're at the final trial

Junko pulled a plot twist

Mind fucking us

Makoto: What we need's a miracle!

And then a glimmer of hope

Shined before us

No more danganronpa

We got our miracle

Four protags itching for answers

(Gasps)

Four protags bitching their whole life long!

Kaeda: I'm Kaeda

Makoto: I'm Makoto

Hajime: I'm Hajime

Shuichi: I'm Shuichi

All: Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Right or wrong

Makoto (posting on Twitter): In case of smoke, please call miss Yukizome on the phone

And say her kids are all on fire

Shuichi and Kaeda: We are manipulating people and we need to know

Our lies are not ignored

Hajime: The despair invested will in time pay wisely

Shuichi and Makoto: We do not tippy toe

Hajime: We monologue in the end to show

Shuichi (winking): We're good with hope

Kaeda: Excel in hope

Shuichi: We smell of hope

Makoto Wait where's the hope

Hajime: I love the hope

Makoto: Who has the hope?

Kaeda: I want the hope!

Makoto: Who stole the hope?

Shuichi (blaming Hajime): Who stole the hope?

Kaeda: I lost it twice

Hajime: The hope is mine

Kaeda: The hope is nice

All: The hope is

Four protags in a room bitching

Four protags talking like anime protagonist

I'm neurotic, he's neurotic

They're neurotic, we're neurotic

Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

Shuichi: I'm nauseous

Kaeda: I'm nauseous

Makoto: I'm simple

Hajime: I'm talentless

Komaru: Let me in, let me in

All (singing over each other): Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

I'm protags I'm neurotic Bitch bitch

He's a protag He's neurotic Bitch bitch

They're protags They're neurotic Funny funny

We're protags We're neurotic Funny funny

Bitch bitch

Hajime: Four protags

Others:I'm a protag

Bitch bitch

Hajime: In a room bitching

Others: He's a protag

Funny funny Bitch bitch They're protags

Funny funny Bitch bitch We're protags

Komaru (singing solo): Four protags in a room bitching

In a room bitching

All: Bitch bitch

Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Now and then

This drags

Eyes got bags

Four

Kaeda: One,

Makoto: two,

Hajime: three,

Shuichi: four

Komaru (busting down the door): Five!

All: Five protags!