Judy: I'm glad you liked it, thank you for your review


Chapter 57 – Means to an end

Isabela had to be calmed down and held back from her lover as she threatened to skin him alive when she found out that Makatza had been hurt on the most recent outing. Varric had a hold of her clothes loosely but it was enough to stop the pirate from beating the apostate. 'Why the hell didn't you go with them?' She snaps at Varric.

'I had a merchants meeting! I can't just stop my job because your boyfriend wants to go an play with the scum of Kirkwall,' he says simply shrugging his shoulders. 'Besides this way a certain elf has to look after her,' he grins as she pulls her dress out his hands and sits down roughly and annoyed. Garrett feels a little safer now that she's at the table and attempts to pass her a mug of beer in apology, she snatches it out his hand and gives him a glare.

'He's helping her with her wounds now, she'll be healing herself and be right as rain,' Hawke says simply feeling guilty that she had gotten hurt but immensely grateful that she was with them. It could have gone a lot worse than it did. 'He actually almost admitted feelings to me yesterday, let's just try and give them a little privacy and we might actually get the result we want,' he smirks. 'No more interruptions.'

-x-

In the room that Makatza had chosen she hissed as Fenris cleaned her wounds, 'fuck that stings, what's in that water?' She complained as she held out her arm. Wrapped up in the sheet that she was slowly bleeding on she didn't really care that she was naked, it was doing a good enough job to keep her warm. He was silent and she tilted her head, 'okay. What is it? There's something bothering you and you don't want to say because you're worried about it,' she says simply.

Fenris gives her a serious side eye, 'I do not like that you are able to do that. Am I so easy to read?'

'Imprint, deduction and I know you,' she says shrugging her good shoulder. 'Sorry, but to me you're almost an open book. Works both ways though, I can't seem to hide anything from you,' Makatza says softly as he wiped down her wrist and rinses off the blood into a bowl. She had insisted that he take his armour off while they were alone, nothing bad was going to happen and she wanted to break his dependence on the security it gave him. He sighs and leans back in the chair that he was sitting in and let the cloth drop into the slightly sullied water.

'I do not want you to join Hawke these sorts of things, you always seem to get hurt,' he admits.

Makatza takes his hand in hers and squeezes his fingers, 'you understand why I am joining you though, yes?' She says quietly.

'Yes,' he nods. 'I really do not like it. I would go as far to say that I hate it.'

'Well, either I run around with my idiot cousin and you and keep you both safe or I stay at home with Aunt Leandra and spend my time entertaining the courts,' she said as she smiles softly as him. He looked tense so she took her hand out of his and stroked his hair instead making him look at her, 'at least when I'm out with you I know you'll keep me safe,' she says. He grits his teeth and nods as he takes her hand pressing it against his cheek.

'You shouldn't be worrying about healing me,' he says as he feels no pain from their touch. 'You haven't even healed your own wounds yet,' he says a little concerned.

'Shifting takes a lot of mana, keeping you comfortable is worth the few extra hours time it will take to heal,' Makatza says simply. 'You can't stop me so you're just going to have to deal with it-'

'I could leave,' he points out making her frown.

'That's mean,' she says quietly. 'We're actually getting time together and you would leave so I heal a bit faster?'

'Yes,' Fenris says without remorse. As much as he wants to be with her he can't let her delay her own health just so that he can't feel his skin hurting from his scarring. 'I do not want to but I will,' he clarifies, then a thought hits him. 'You draw your mana from the surrounding area... I am assuming there is not a lot to draw from around here.'

Makatza gives him a little side smile as she leans back in the bed and looks at the ceiling, 'not unless I want to start sucking mana out of people. It'll come back, there's always mana around there's just not an abundance right here,' she says. 'Is the door locked?'

'Yes, I locked it as I entered,' he nods not caring or wanting the others around or what they thought.

'Good, get onto the bed,' she says simply as she moves over a little stiffly. Fenris raises a brow but does as she asks sitting on the bed and trying to ignore the fact that he knew she was totally nude under the sheet she had wrapped around herself badly. 'Sorry if I get blood on you,' she adds as she moves closer to him and leans into his chest but careful of her wounds.

They had diverted from the thought that he had and so he wanted to get back on track, 'back at the dungeons when we were looking for Hawke, you said that I was shining because of my lyrium,' he said as she looked up at him, she nods and tilts her head wondering where he was going with this. 'Could you use some of my lyrium to increase your current supply of mana?'

'Fucking hell, Fenris! Are you insane?' She says in panic as she pulls away from him and sits up wincing at her bites. 'No, no way. One, no idea if I'd even be able to control how much I took, two, you're not some frigging battery to be used, three, that's like a massive trigger! Being used by a mage to fuel their mana... are you just?... I can't believe you'd even suggest it!'

He raised a brow not expecting quite a reaction from her. 'It would be possible regardless of what you said though?'

She sighs and rubs her eyes with one hand as she used the other to hold up her sheet, 'yes, it is entirely possible for me to siphon mana from you without affecting your actual life. I think,' she says bitterly as she didn't want to lie to him. 'I wouldn't know what it would do to you or your markings though,' she points out.

He nods and thinks about it for a moment, 'do it,' he says making her jump and glare at him.

'No,' she replies simply and bluntly.

'I want you to,' he says honestly making her eyes well up with tears. 'Katza, I do not wish for you to be injured and I know that you are scared,' he says taking her hand. 'It is a surprise to myself that I would allow something like this but if these damn brands can be used for someone I have come to care about... it is what I want. Allow me to do this for you,' he says softly as he leans forwards and gently kisses her, tasting the tears that had dropped from her cheeks.

'I hate the idea of this,' she whispers as she feels him press her hand against his chest.

'I will not force you,' he assures.

She looks at his deep, green eyes and sees nothing but conviction, 'I don't want to hurt you,' her voice was choked with emotion and she couldn't help but feel her heart flutter as he gave her a half smile and strokes her cheek.

'You never have done,' he says wiping away a tear. 'If it helps I will talk to you during the entire process,' Fenris promises as he gives her a half smile. Makatza nods and sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of the hand that held up the sheet.

'Okay...' she says quietly as she focuses on her hand that was touching his chest, 'I think I'd feel better if I could see your markings,' she mumbles. 'That way I can see what I'm doing to you,' Katza felt a little sick in doing this but he seemed to really want her to try. 'If I think it's going wrong, or you feel wrong just push me away, hard,' she asks simply. 'Please, if you don't feel comfort-'

'Katza,' he says leaning forward and dropping a soft kiss on her forehead. 'I want you to be well,' he replies. He loosens the strings on his vest before pulling it over his head smirking a little at the blush that crossed her cheeks, 'you are barely covered by a sheet and yet you blush at the sight of me...do you really want to see my markings or is it a ploy to get me as undressed as you?' He teases lightly in an attempt to make her smile.

It sort of works and she looks at him with playful indignation, 'how dare you,' she laughs a little. 'If I wished for you to be as naked as me I'd probably just ask. Can't see you refusing that one,' she says half smiling. Her expression hardens as she realises that there's nothing stopping her from doing as he asked, with a deep breath she placed her hand back on his chest and let her mana flow over his markings. She could see the path her mana took as his lyrium lit up gently in response, 'are you okay?'

'It is simply a little uncomfortable in the sense that I am not the one activating them,' he replies. She nodded and when the markings around his shoulders started to light up she called back the mana withdrawing the energy of the lyrium as she did so. Fenris gasped in a little and grabbed hold of her wrist to stop her from pulling away, as her mana left his markings settled and started to pale even more with the withdrawal. She felt a wash of intense mana flow into her and her wounds start to almost instantly heal, feeling that she had more than enough she let the rest go and Fenris began to breathe easily again. She looked at the winding tattoos on his chest, some of them had lost colour and looked faded. Her spare mana pulsed around them and she directed it back into him to heal any damage she had done, Fenris ignored his sudden weakness and checked the arrow wound on her shoulder, it was almost done and the bite marks had scarred only. 'It worked,' he says simply, it didn't feel invasive just a little unnerving as his lyrium was drained.

'Yes,' she nodded looking at her hands as she felt herself cry.

'What is the matter?' He asks her concerned that she seemed very upset.

Makatza wipes her eyes with her arm, 'I feel like a monster,' she admits. He raises his brows in surprise as she bites her lip still not looking at him. 'To be able to simply siphon the life out of someone for my own uses... it's unnatural and I'm scared. I don't want this power. Never wanted it. Never wanted to be special or unique. No wonder you wanted to kill me when you first met me, no wonder the Tevinter Imperium hunted me down as a child. Isabela, Varric, Garrett and even you say that you're scared of me,' she said quietly through her tears. It had all been repressed for a long time and actually attempting to take energy from someone she cared about was the last straw, it was all coming out. 'What are we doing, Fenris? You're worried about your past coming to hunt me when I should be worried about the fact that I exist makes you a target.'

Fenris had frozen a little while she was speaking it was clear that this had been bothering her for quite a while even if she wasn't aware. 'Katza-'

'Why do you do that?' She asks looking up at him. 'Why do you only call me Katza when we're alone?'

He clears his throat and goes a little pink around the ears, she still had tears in her eyes and it was clear that she had only asked her question to distract herself from how she was feeling at this moment. 'I feel that it is something to be treasured... not used lightly or casually,' he mumbles. 'I say it when we are alone to show that I care about you.' His revelation made her smile a little in happiness, he reaches across and takes her hands. 'You are not a monster, you do not deserve to be hunted down, I am not scared of you; only the possibilities your power holds,' he clarifies. 'I trust you, more than I ever have another.'

'You are a fool,' she whispers making him smile.

'Yes, that I agree,' he nods pulling on her hands a little as she falls into his embrace. 'Katza, please do not think like that. You do not like that I think the way I do. Can we agree to stop? For each other?' He suggests feeling the soothing wave of her mana sweep over his skin. Makatza simply nods as she hugs him tightly.

'We should probably go out to the others,' she says looking down at her arms and seeing all her scratches and bite wounds had healed. She felt him kiss the top of her head before she pulled away, 'you're actually quite affectionate,' she comments as she sees her clothing at the end of the bed.

'Meaning?' Fenris chuckles.

'Well, I know that you refrain from physical intimacy because of the pain and various trust issues but you're actually very affectionate when it comes to me,' she says as she sits at the end of the bed and lets the sheet drop revealing the entirety of her back as her hair gets pulled over her shoulder, Fenris moved forward a little as she picked up her blouse, he could see each leaf and animal that covered her skin not to mention the curve of her breast as she turned to look at him with a small smile. 'Is this your first time seeing my tattoo?' She asked.

'I have only seen parts before, your arm and shoulders mainly,' he admits. Makatza smiles as she pulls her hair more over her shoulder and gives it a twist so that it won't move. It was an open invitation for him to have a closer look, with a shimmy down the bed he gently ran his fingers over her skin. On each shoulder there was a dragon, one blue and the other red, there was a phoenix running up her spine, ivy and various different types of flowers wound between each of them and along the base of her back curving along to the front of her hips. Only one arm was covered, the foliage ran down the length and on the inside of her wrist there was a wolf that went from the inside of her elbow at the tail to the palm of her hand where the snout ended.

'It is utterly beautiful,' he says softly as he looks at each creature. 'It must have taken hours.'

'More than I care to remember, more pain than I've ever been through but so worth it,' Makatza agrees. 'I just felt that it was a part of me and I had to have it done. I saved and saved for years and years,' she smiles.

'I wish to commit it to memory,' he chuckles. 'Maybe one day you will let me draw you,' he says without thinking.' He had drawn her before from memory, a guilty pleasure that he had found while at home alone with his thoughts.

'Draw me? You draw?' She perks up and gently pulls her blouse over her head so she can turn to look at him properly. 'I love to draw! I used to do it all the time at home, I mean, in my Mama's world,' she explains.

'Yes, I saw them in your bedroom,' he nods. They spoke of art for a while as she got dressed and Fenris replaced his vest, his muscles seemed to ache where she had drained his lyrium it was a fair exchange he thought and decided not to tell her about it. 'Katza,' he says softly as they get ready to open the door, 'before we join the others... I wish to spend a moment with you.'

'A moment?' She says a little confused.

'Before I have to act that I do not care for you the way I do.'

'Fenris, if you want people to know, we'll tell them,' Makatza says simply.

'I do... and I do not. I feel that there would be a lot of pressure from the group if we tell them. That they would force us to try and be more than what we are at this time,' he sighs. Makatza understood and agreed with him. 'So for now... I feel that we are doing the right thing but I would like to just... just be...' Makatza knew what he was trying to convey and walked over to him hugging him tightly before standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.

'For the moment, we'll just be,' she assures as she kisses him again.


Okay so I'm suffering from a little writer's block, though I've already written up to ch.77.

I'm thinking about swapping around the timeline a little from the original. Would it bother you if I wrote the Bavent arc before the Carta? Let me know.