Chapter Sixty Three
Darius
I gazed out the window at the frozen landscape, as barren and sterile as my present existence. This cabin had been my home for several months and I was sick of its four walls. I'd never minded my own company, loneliness was my usual state but these days it sapped my strength of will, made me crave company, the sound of another voice. Not just any voice, not just any company. Every minute was an eternity while I was apart from Megan.
This feeling was crippling me, I hadn't ventured outside except to hunt, opened a book, or even checked my phone for weeks. I just sat here looking out the window and thinking about her. God, that sounded pathetic even to my own ears.
I still believed I'd done the right thing leaving her be but it was hard, painfully so, and I knew my resolution was being eroded day by day. I was a man but I was still weak when it came to her. I needed Megan in my life as much as I needed blood to sustain my physical body.
Eventually giving in to temptation I powered up my computer and loosed the sniffer program I had created. It would search the web until it found traces of her activities. At least this way I would get an idea of what she was doing, where she was, and how she was.
It didn't take long for the first results to come in although they did surprise me. She had been in Volterra. Well, I guess that was only to be expected after the help Aro had given her in persuading Caius to leave the safety of the citadel.
I shouldn't have, but I hacked into her email account and what I found depressed me. You fool, you stepped back into the shadows and someone else stepped forward to take your place. Worst of all it wasn't a human boy as I had hoped for her but Alec Volturi. If there was one person I despised almost as much as Caius it was Alec. I could still see his grin as my senses faded. He had kept me a prisoner for a hundred years, stole a chunk of my life and enjoyed it. Not that Megan had any way of knowing that and even if she had would it have put her off?
I'd gotten my revenge and that's all she had ever planned for me. The thought of her in his arms made me feel physically sick, it was too much to bear but it was my own fault. I had no one else to blame. I had walked away so what had I expected?
Curiosity and anguish made me continue the hack and broaden the search. The relationship between Alec and Megan seemed to be progressing all too well although I was pleased to discover that the Major wasn't happy about it. Go on Major, snap the little upstart's neck, please.
Well, I knew the situation so it was down to me now. I could either bow out completely, finish what I had set out to do and join Sara or bite the bullet, go back and try to win Megan's affections once more. There was no third alternative, no middle ground. I had been crazy to leave her in the first place even if my reasons had been sound.
If I lost her this time then it was over for me. However, if so then I wanted to take Alec out with me to save her from becoming his wife and plaything because despite his smooth and charming exterior Alec was not a good person and nowhere near good enough for a girl like Megan.
I had thought I'd done the right thing, giving Megan space to grow up without any pressure from me. She had known how I felt about her even if she didn't understand it, that connection between us. Had it stretched to the breaking point when I had left her? Had she decided she wanted more from life than a broken-down guy with a horrific history? I could hardly blame her if so. Wouldn't that be a kick in the bollocks for me? To find myself kicked into touch by a girl who had once been so fond of me.
This was going to drive me crazy. I had to act immediately or risk losing her altogether and that was something I couldn't live with. How I was going to face her again was something I still had to work out but once I saw the situation I could move forward from there.
I left the cabin without a backwards glance. If I never saw it again it would be too soon. It held far too many bad memories. It would take me a couple of days to reach the States but that would give me time to consider my next move.
I was expecting a hostile reception, I had left and cut myself off from Megan, not even replying to her emails so she had every right to hate me. If, as I hoped, I had been right and Megan and I were connected then I might have a tough time but she would soften eventually.
If I was wrong? That didn't bear thinking about.
Should I pave the way by contacting Megan before I arrive? I groaned, I was a grown man so why was I so scared? Bracing myself I composed a message to Megan.
"Hi. sorry to have been out in the wilderness. Hope all is OK with you. Perhaps we could meet? Darius.
I looked at it and groaned, it was stupid, lame, and I scrubbed it. No, best if I met her face to face.
Megan
A dance? I stared at Dad as if he'd just told me that Bigfoot really existed.
"We never go to anything like that, why now?"
"Well, Peter and I thought it would be good for business. It's a social evening for local businesses."
"You're going to social to glad-hand? Weird."
"I can do the niceties when necessary. Besides we thought you might enjoy getting out and meeting some other young people. Your mom asked around and there are going to be a lot of people your age there."
"Ah. You want me to shop around for a replacement for Alec. Did you have anyone in particular in mind? Anyone I should avoid?"
He sighed and I felt like a brat, Despite the fact he had discovered bad things about Alec that was hardly his fault. He had been looking out for me and I should be grateful but I couldn't help myself. I was angry at discovering those things about Alec, miserable because I now felt lonely and generally fed up because all my friends were in Volterra, somewhere I was reluctant to visit again because it would mean running into Alec.
I was also nervous because I'd sent him an email telling him that I thought we should call it a day and was waiting to hear back. I checked my emails with increasing trepidation, but so far there was nothing, which was even worse than finding an unpleasant reply from him.
Dad studied me for a moment then shrugged.
"It's up to you wherever you go, no one is going to force you, but let's drop the attitude, shall we? It's not my fault your relationship with Alec has failed although I won't lie to you and say I'm sorry. You know I was never a great fan of his."
I hated it when dad was so open, it left me nowhere to go without sounding childish and sulky.
"I'll think about it."
He grinned, "You do that."
As he turned and walked away I was tempted to stick my tongue out at his back but somehow he would know, he always knew, and I could feel his amusement which drove me crazy. The thing was that I loved him so much and owed him so much that I would never be really disrespectful to my dad.
The next morning I finally got a reply from Alec. It was longer than I expected but full of hurt and anger.
"I only received your email yesterday as I've been out of contact for a few days and was most upset by its tone. I thought that you and I were close, soul mates, and had an understanding, a future together. It seems I was mistaken, that this was merely an interesting aside for you. I just wish you had informed me that you saw me only as a novelty while in Volterra.
It would be best if you were to limit any future visits to Volterra to avoid any unpleasantness for me. This is my home where I live and work, where all my friends are, and where I would prefer not to be made a laughing stock for my naivete.
I would appreciate it if you did not contact me again and the return of the gift I gave you. Also, please delete all my communications to you as I will those you have sent me. Their lies are most upsetting to me.
Alec Volturi."
I read it a few times before sitting back to consider his reaction. It was plain that Alec blamed me for everything which was grossly unfair but I found that it made things easier. I didn't feel anywhere near as guilty as I had done and decided to go out this weekend and to hell with Alec Volturi.
Before closing my computer I deleted all his emails and chats and felt strangely lighter. I was free, Alec was consigned to the past and I would make sure I didn't make such a mistake again, ever.
I decided to put it all behind me, including dad's antagonism towards Alec and spent the next couple of days helping out with the new horses. Peter and Charlotte came over and we finished enlarging the stable block and readying the new stalls for the imminent arrivals.
Peter had bought a stallion in Boulder and I was going with him to collect it. I liked spending time with Peter because he didn't care what he said and took no account of my 'age'. He treated me like an adult. He even allowed me to drive the truck on the way there while the horsebox was empty.
"Do not tell your dad I let you drive or he'll have my ass."
"OK, but it'll cost you."
He rolled his eyes, "It usually does. What this time?"
"You have to promise to behave on Saturday night. If you see me talking to a guy you have to promise not to embarrass me in any way."
"Jeez, you drive a hard bargain. OK, but it'll spoil all my fun."
We both laughed at this, but I felt a lot more confident about going to the social myself. The thought of Peter watching my every move and stepping in just for his own entertainment had been worrying me all week.
The stallion was magnificent, black as midnight with one white foot. I was sure the mares would love him too and any foals of his would be so beautiful. I wondered if dad would let me keep one. Of course, if I finally found the courage to leave home and travel the world then I would be leaving a horse too and I hated leaving things behind. It would be bad enough saying goodbye to mom and dad.
Aunt Rose and Uncle Em had invited me to go with them to Switzerland for the winter so maybe that would be a good start. I would be away from home but still among friends. I guess I was lucky that I had such a great family, not to mention a wealthy one.
I'd never considered where the money for things came until it dawned on me that none of the family with the exception of Grandpa Carlisle worked.
It had been Alec who had explained that vampires took what they needed whenever they needed it as a rule, but that my family were different.
"Carlisle has a strange outlook on life. He preferred to earn his money and of course as the years passed he was able to amass a horde of money and invest it wisely. He invented several surgical instruments and even bought an Island for Esme when it was possible to do so. Then, when Alice joined his coven she was able to see the best stocks and shares, the rising investments, and the sky was the limit. The whole family is wealthy as a result. Some of us still have to work hard for our keep."
It was that last statement that had hurt me at the time and I had shot one back at him.
"I thought Aro has financed you and your sister? You hardly do enough to fund a lifestyle like the one you have. Private jets, limo's, the best technology and anything you want so don't you dare point the finger at Carlisle."
He had apologized and I had forgotten about the conversation until that email from him. I guess it should have warned me that he had a mean streak in him. Well, no more Alec Volturi.
I was young, not exactly ugly, and free. For now, I was still human enough to get away around them without risk of detection and I planned on flirting outrageously if I saw someone that took my fancy. I even planned on buying a new outfit to wear Saturday. Something up to date but not trashy. I would never get away with some of the things I'd see other girls wear, not with my parents but I might just push the envelope a little. Just for devilment.
Jasper
I'd never realized how frustrating and worrying it could be to have a daughter, especially a teenage daughter who had found an interest in the opposite sex. I tried really hard not to be too hard on Megan, not to show just how much I disliked Alec Volturi, but I was intensely relieved when Bella told me that it was over between them. I just hoped the next guy she set her sights on was more acceptable, but then it would be hard to be any less so than Alec had been.
She seemed much more relaxed and even playful in the few days before the social. It was like having little Meg back and I revelled in it, much to Bella's amusement.
Meg helped us with the horses and even redecorated her room. She was too old for the original color scheme and went for something more neutral, polished floorboards and cream walls. The only splash of color being pale green drapes and matching bed linen and of course the painting of Sara which she hung back up as soon as the paint was dry.
I glanced at it wondering why she kept it there considering Darius was long gone. I guess I'd really expected him to turn up at the wedding or contact Meg. It was plain as the nose on your face that the two had a strong connection. Maybe Sulpicia was right and maybe she was wrong but if he was still alive and didn't put in an appearance soon he might just have lost his chance.
