I own nothing except my delusions.
Emma hated the waiting room.
After they had taken Killian in, Emma had spoken to Whale about the piece of silver that had been lodged in his stomach to have it removed, remembering Killian having told her he wanted to get it out. She had nearly become lightheaded as Whale said it would be beneficial to have it removed as soon as possible, mentioning that though it wasn't doing any harm for the time being, it was possible it would migrate and start causing damage.
She had felt guilty as she watched them take Killian away, knowing that he would be on his own as they put him under.
David had come back to the hospital soon after, carrying her baby brother. After a small bit of coaxing, he got her to go in with him to see Mary Margaret and Henry, as well as be present when Mary Margaret finally got to hold her baby. She felt horrible because while the reunion was happy, half of her mind and heart were in another part of the hospital. Her parents had been more than understanding, expressing that they both were worried themselves. Rather than stay with the personal stormcloud she had hanging over her, she chose to stay out in the waiting room, constantly rubbing at the ring he had given her.
Her worry only grew as one of the nurses had found her in the waiting room soon after, informing her that because the cut that had severed his hand had left the flesh of his wrist too torn, they couldn't save his hand and were doing what they could to stop the bleeding to try to close his wrist.
She didn't care that he lost his hand, knowing she wouldn't want him any less, but was worried about Killian himself. He obtained a life altering injury, one that meant he would have to recover and learn to adapt.
She knew she would be right beside him through it all.
She looked up as someone sat beside her, holding out a cup to her.
"I thought you could use some coffee," Regina said quietly.
Emma nodded, accepting the cup. "Thanks."
"Any word?" Regina asked her.
Shaking her head, Emma's eyes automatically went back to the hallway. "Not yet."
Regina was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I know you've probably heard this a ton of times already today, but he'll be okay. After everything that's happened to him, then you breaking his curse and he has another chance at a normal life, he's not going to give up."
"I've already almost lost him today," Emma said quietly. "I could still lose him."
"Killian's a fighter," Regina said confidently. "I don't know him well, but I do know that. That, and he loves you, or else his curse wouldn't have broken. If anything, he'll fight for you."
Slowly, Emma nodded, hoping she was right.
"I'm assuming you're going to be staying here?" Regina asked her. "I know David wants to stay overnight with Mary Margaret."
Emma nodded in confirmation. "I'm not leaving."
"Then I'll take Henry," Regina offered. "Zelena's gone, so he's in no danger."
Emma absently nodded, remembering David telling her that after Regina had sent her and Killian to the hospital, the situation with Zelena and Gold escalated. David had barely been able to safely get the baby out before Gold lost it. Zelena didn't walk out of the barn alive.
"Thanks," Emma said quietly. "I'm sorry, I know that I need to pull together for him, but-"
"It's okay, Mom," Henry's voice suddenly said.
She startled, not having heard him approach.
He sat down next to her. "He needs you right now."
Smiling softly at her son, she threw an arm around him, hugging him tightly to her side.
She looked up as she heard footsteps approaching, seeing Whale coming for her.
Henry squeezed his arms tightly round her one last time before letting her stand.
"How is he?" she asked Whale, Killian's wellbeing weighing on her mind.
"He's gonna be fine," he told her. "We were able to close the artery and close up his wrist. The silver shard was easier, so that's out. He has to learn to adjust, but with care and physical therapy, he will make a full recovery."
Emma felt herself nearly cry in relief.
"Can I see him?" she asked, needing to see him for herself.
He nodded as he turned to lead her to the room. "He's still out. We put him on some major painkillers."
She nodded.
"I'm assuming you'll be the one caring for him when he gets out?" he asked.
Nodding in surety, she had to stop herself from running to Killian's room, seeing his last name on the file outside the door. "Yeah."
"Okay, then I'll be by later after he's lucid to go over everything," Whale told her. "He might freak out when he wakes up and he sees he's missing a hand. It happens sometimes."
She hadn't thought of that possibility, that Killian might not remember Gold using his own sword to sever his hand from his wrist.
"I'll talk him through it if that happens," Emma replied feeling guilty.
Killian had gotten in Gold's way when he went after her, resulting in the attack. He had been hurt to save her.
Whale nodded sympathetically before leaving, letting her enter the dimmed room.
Killian lay asleep on the only bed in the room, dressed in a blue hospital gown similar to what she had had to wear when she was admitted. His waist was bulky where it was wrapped with bandages, as well as the lower portion of his left arm.
Careful to be as quiet as possible, she sat at the chair near the head of the bed and gently gripped his hand in hers, settling in to wait.
The only noises were the machines monitoring him and the steady sounds of his breathing to keep her company.
She was completely and utterly exhausted, but refused to sleep until Killian had woken up. She realized the last time she had gotten to sleep was two nights previous, and even then she and Killian hadn't done much sleeping. Combined with the events of the last twenty-four hours, she felt like she could sleep for days.
An hour passed before she saw his eyelids twitch, closely followed by him tiredly opening his eyes.
Emma's breath caught as she saw he was awake, his eyes immediately finding her.
"Hey, beautiful," he breathed out with an exhausted but loving smile.
Her cheeks nearly hurt as she returned his smile, grinning widely. Unable to help herself, she leaned forward to press her lips to his.
She rested a hand to his cheek, tenderly stroking the scar beneath his eye as her other hand lightly squeezed his.
"I know this is probably a really stupid question, but how are you feeling?" she asked him, looking for any sign she should go retrieve a nurse, as well as remembering Whale's warning.
Despite the condition he was in, his grin was happy. "Bloody awful."
He looked down at his left arm, his eyes on where his hand should be. "It's strange. I can feel my hand hurting, but it's not there anymore. I know I don't have it anymore, but it's still painful."
"It's called phantom pain," she told him, nervous to ask her next question. "Do you remember what we did before we came here?"
Grunting in pain, he moved their joined hands to rest on his chest. "Yeah. We went after Zelena after she took your brother and she set the Crocodile on you. I tried to stop him and the bastard cut off my hand with my own sword."
Sighing, she nodded, the feeling of guilt returning. "You did stop him."
"Don't," he said.
"Don't what?" she asked in surprise.
"Feel guilty," he replied.
She smiled sadly, thinking that she should have known he would read her.
"I don't regret getting between you and Gold," he told her. "If it means it kept you safe, I'll never regret it."
Suddenly feeling her eyes burning, she let out a watery chuckle. "I could have lost you today. Twice."
"I'm a survivor," he said simply. "Though I will admit, this isn't how I imagined spending my first day as a mortal again."
Another laugh escaped her, but it quickly became choked as it turned into a sob. Everything finally settled over her, becoming overwhelming.
Closing her eyes in an attempt to stop her tears, Emma suddenly felt Killian tug at her hand, moving it onto his shoulder so her arm was slung across his chest. She went willingly, pressing her face into his shoulder. His hand rested in her hair a second later, holding her as much as he was able at the moment.
"It's alright, Emma," he soothed. "We have our whole lives ahead of us now."
She nodded before turning her head to be able to look at him. "I love you."
His answering smile, though exhausted, was dazzling. "I love you, too."
He suddenly hummed, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Do you remember it had only been a little while after I came here and you figured out who I was supposed to be? It looks like that crocodile got my hand after all."
Her answering laugh was genuine.
Teaser: "Soon," she promised.
"I'm gonna hold you to that," Killian replied with a flirty grin.
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