So sorry for the late update, the corona virus has messed up things in my town. wifi places are closed. Anyway, trigger warning for things going down with Keelie, first break is where it ends. Enjoy all!
Keelie sighed heavily. Taja had just left. She'd told her Pierce hadn't returned with Anahi yet. They were running out of time.
The scarred jackal stared up at the ceiling from her place in bed. She was tired of laying here, but also too tired to do much else.
She had tried keeping herself busy with books, or her phone, but there wasn't much to keep her mind from racing. She had ran through hundreds of scenarios in her head of things that could go wrong. Things that would go wrong.
Maybe she shouldn't have done this. Maybe she should've listened to Gadget. If she had, her baby wouldn't be suffering right now. She wouldn't be suffering.
She wiped at the tears in her eyes. Why? Why did it always have to be her? She had been mean to her boys. Took them for granted. Then wanted another baby. It seemed she was being punished for her actions and attitude. And she deserved it. She deserved every bit of this.
The jackal turned on her side and held Gadget's pillow to her chest. She wished he was here to hold her. He had been earlier, but she'd chased him away. She'd shut him out. He deserved better than her.
The tears sprung back up. She hated this. Hated her life. She would hold on though, for her baby. That was all she had to live for now.
Soon, she felt swirling pain in her lower stomach. Gasping, she stumbled out of the bed and into the bathroom.
As she sat down on the toilet though, the smell of blood and death hit her nostrils. She choked back a sob, knowing what had happened.
She couldn't look, she couldn't even bring herself to clean up. The sob tore from her throat and she stumbled while getting to her feet.
Her hand grabbed the sink and she pulled herself up to look in the mirror. Her haggard face stared back at her as her shoulders heaved with the sobs. Tears trailed down her face, and her eyes were horribly bloodshot.
She blinked as she felt the warm blood running down her legs. Everything felt so surreal. And suffocating.
She had to get away from it. From all of it. From her life. She hated it. Everyone.
She'd done her best to be happy. To raise her boys to be. But life had insisted on her suffering, and she wasn't going to let it happen anymore.
She opened the mirror cabinet, golden eyes sweeping over the bottles of medicine. She grabbed them all, not caring what they were, and took every, single, one of them. Then she stumbled back to the bedroom.
She didn't get far before she collapsed. Her mind was foggy, and the room swirled around her as she lay there. She was vaguely aware of the blood still coming from her body.
She hiccuped lightly as she slowly stopped sobbing. She didn't have the energy anymore.
"Mama, you said I'd be joining you soon," she slurred. "You were right."
A heavy silence fell over the room as she drew her last breath.
"So where are we going?" Kane asked Ace as they walked together hand in hand.
"I want you to meet my mom," he replied, giving the boy's hand a squeeze.
"Oh." He looked straight ahead again while thinking about this. "Is she nice?" He asked finally.
"When she wants to be. She does get a bit grouchy sometimes."
He frowned, unsure if he wanted to meet her. But he didn't voice his opinions. Instead, he stepped a little closer to Ace.
Once they reached the room, Ace stopped suddenly. Something wasn't right. He sniffed the air, and his eyes widened when the smell of blood reached his nose. "Stay here," he ordered Kane.
The gray jackal nodded and let go of Ace's hand. He stepped to the side as the other jackal darted into the room.
"Mom," Ace called. Even he picked up the panic in his own voice.
He stopped when he saw her. She was on the floor with blood smeared around her. A trail led to the bathroom as well.
His heart dropped into his stomach and he hurried to her side. He knelt on the floor, "mom?" He swallowed, "mom?" He gently shook her shoulders. She didn't respond, she was dead. He didn't know what to do.
He got to his feet and started to look for someone. He ran into Pierce and Anahi in the doorway.
Anahi pushed past him and went to Keelie. She was fearing the worst.
"Is she?" Pierce asked carefully.
Anahi removed her fingers from the other's neck. She nodded solemnly. She stood and made her way to the bathroom, ready to investigate.
Ace felt numb. She was gone. His mother was dead. And for some reason, he was distraught. He'd never imagined he would be. But he was. He should've accepted her apology. Tried to reconcile with her. Now he couldn't. Tears pooled in his eyes and he reached to wipe them away.
"Ace?" Kane asked while sticking his head in the room. He looked worried. "Is everything ok?" He asked nervously.
Pierce interjected before the pup could see the blood everywhere. He stepped into the boy's line of vision. He kept silent when he saw the fear flash across his face.
Ace's ear twitched, but otherwise he didn't respond to Kane.
Anahi came back in the room while holding a towel. A sadness was in her eyes that Pierce had seen before in the eyes of healers. It was the sadness over the loss of a pup.
"Anahi?" Pierce asked carefully.
"She lost the pup," she said quietly.
Pierce's eyes flicked to the towel she held, silently asking.
"I'm sure his father would want to bury him with his mother." She said quietly.
Ace stifled a sob at the thought. His father. He would be crushed by this. It almost felt like he was himself. Hesitantly he stepped towards Anahi.
She looked at him with a sad smile. "He didn't make it you know." Her voice was low, barely a whisper.
He nodded. "I know."
"Did you want to see him?" She asked gently. She'd experienced this kind of thing before, and the family responded in different ways.
He thought for a minute, then shook his head, "no."
She dipped her head, "that's ok."
By now, Kane had gone to find someone and was back with Kinnley and Fortune. He'd been looking for Lilly, but hadn't been able to find her.
Kinnley pushed past Pierce, "what's going on?" He stopped when he saw Keelie on the floor, and Anahi holding a bundle. His eyes widened and the words died on his tongue. His heart dropped when he saw the look on Ace's face.
Ace sniffled, "she's dead." Tears were rolling down his face.
"And the baby?" He dared ask.
Anahi shook her head sadly, "I'm afraid he is gone now too."
"Is that him?" Kinnley asked quietly while nodding towards the towel.
She nodded.
"Can I?" He asked hesitantly.
The healer handed him the bundle.
Ace turned and pushed past Pierce, leaving the room. He couldn't handle it anymore. He had to leave. No one stopped him. Kane followed after him.
Kinnley moved the towel to see his brother. He was a wolf. A light dusting of black fur covered him. He was big for a jackal, but small for a wolf. His skin was papery, and very underdeveloped. His ears weren't quite right either. He looked like he was sleeping, but Kinnley knew he was dead.
Carefully, he ran a finger over the pup's face. He swallowed. "I wish there was something I could've done."
Anahi set her hand on his arm, "I know. I do as well."
"I've always wanted to help people," he murmured, "I just don't know how."
She smiled, "if you would like to learn I can teach you. There is only so much one can learn from books you know."
"I know. I want to go to medical school, but there aren't any up and running again."
"It's just as well. You know jackal culture doesn't allow for male healers anyway. But I will teach you how to care for jackals, I know some have integrated into modern society and they will need someone to help them. You can go to medical school as well. Then you can help others too."
He smiled, "thank you."
"I will make some preparations, and then let you know what is planned."
He nodded.
Fortune tapped Kinnley's arm to get his attention. His face was twisted with pain. His mama was gone, and he was distraught over it.
"I'm sorry Fortune." Kinnley grabbed him in a hug.
He stiffened at first, tempted to push him away. But this was Kinnley, his brother. His friend. He grabbed onto him and cried quietly.
"Who's going to tell papa?" Fortune signed after a few minutes and he'd calmed down.
"I will," Pierce said firmly. The boys didn't need to be the ones to do it.
Anahi nodded at him in approval, and he slipped from the room.
Lilly perked up when she saw Ace coming towards her. He had Kane in his arms. "There you two are," she smiled.
Ace shoved the boy in her arms, "take him." His voice was choked with tears.
She was caught off guard and almost dropped him. But Kane grabbed her neck, keeping himself from falling. "What happened?" She asked. Worry seeped into her voice.
"I just can't right now," he managed. Then he pushed past her and hurried down the hall.
Kane tightened his grip on her. "Something happened to his mama," he whispered. "I think she's dead."
Lilly covered her mouth with her hand, "Keelie." Her voice was pained for her boyfriend. And for Keelie. She wanted to go to him, but it was obvious he couldn't handle Kane's idiosyncrasies right now.
At that moment, Spade and Tempest were walking by. "Oh, Tempest," Lilly called. "Can you watch Kane for a bit? I've got something to take care of right now."
"Of course."
Lilly set the boy down, "I'll be back later." She told him.
He nodded despite the nervous feeling in his belly. Then she hurried down the hallway after Ace.
Spade wagged his tail as he saw his best friend. "Hi Kane," he chirped happily.
Kane's tail wagged once, "hello."
Tempest noticed he seemed distracted with something, but Spade didn't. He let go of his mother's hand and went to the gray pup's side. "What do you want to do?"
He shrugged, looking down at his feet.
"I thought we were going to get lunch," Tempest said with a grin.
"Oh yeah!" He remembered. Then he grabbed Kane's hand, leaning against his side. "Let's go."
Kane smiled and nudged Spade with his nose, nipping at his ear.
Spade yelped and jerked back. But when he turned to look at his friend, he saw the mischief in his eyes. "Race you there," Kane smirked. Then he darted ahead.
"No fair!" Spade protested. But he followed, hurrying to catch up.
Tempest smiled and shook her head. Then followed them at a leisurely pace to the cafeteria.
Kane's playful mood had disappeared by the time they'd started eating. He was too busy eyeing Infinite and Gaia. He hadn't even touched his plate, and even Spade noticed. Even though he was usually oblivious to everything.
He tapped Kane on the arm, "are you ok?"
Kane jumped. But he nodded. "Yeah." His good eye wandered back to Infinite.
Spade turned to look over his shoulder. "Look mama," Spade grinned. "It's uncle."
Before she could stop him, he waved to Infinite. "Uncle," he called, "come sit with us."
Kane grabbed his arm, "no," he hissed. "What are you doing?"
Before he could reply, Gaia and Infinite sat with them.
Kane visibly tensed and hunkered down in his seat. Infinite had sat beside him. And he didn't like it. He curled his tail against himself and his fur bristled. He showed his teeth when Infinite glanced at him sideways.
Infinite rolled his mismatched eyes, "I'm not going to hurt you pup."
"I don't believe you," he snarled.
Infinite shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich.
"Uncle won't hurt you Kane," Spade added. "He'd never hurt a pup. Would you uncle?"
Infinite didn't know what to say. He had before. He'd killed Spade's brother, and the boy had no idea. Guilt swirled in his belly.
Kane glared at him, "he's not denying it."
"That's enough," Tempest scolded.
"No." Kane snapped. "You've hurt a pup before haven't you?" He asked Infinite.
The adult's ears pulled back. "I didn't want to."
"But you did. You didn't have to, and you did."
"You don't understand Kane, you don't know..."
Kane interrupted, "Yes I do. You are a cruel person to hurt someone who can't protect themselves." This hit really close to home for him.
Infinite stood abruptly, slamming his hands on the table. "You wanna know why I did it? You really wanna know?" Kane was cowering as he towered over him. "He was suffering, he was going to die, so I ended his pain. I regret having to do that every day. I would never have killed my nephew like that if I didn't have to."
Tempest gasped and Infinite closed his eyes, realizing what he said.
"Uncle?" Spade asked while touching his arm. "Are you the one who killed my brother?" His eyes were full of tears.
"I'm sorry Spade," he whispered, "but I am."
Spade didn't understand. Even though he said it was to end his suffering, it didn't seem right. Didn't seem fair. He pushed away from the table and ran from the room.
Tempest got to her feet and hurried after him, calling his name.
Kane slunk lower in his seat. He didn't mean to upset Spade. He was just afraid, and he messed everything up. He rubbed his good eye as tears started to fall.
Gaia felt bad for the boy, he'd obviously been traumatized in the past. "Kane?" She asked carefully, "are you ok?"
"I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I didn't mean for Spade to get upset." Spade never got upset about anything. That was why he was so worked up. And that when his father got upset, something bad usually happened. To him.
Gaia set her hand over his, "it's not your fault. He was going to find out sooner or later."
He sniffled, "I wish it wasn't because of me."
"Kane, no one is upset with you. Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise."
"Ok," he hiccuped.
"Why don't you eat your sandwich? Then you can check on Spade later."
The boy nodded, and took a bite.
Later that evening, after Keelie and the pup had been buried, Kinnley and Britany were laying in their bed.
"I've never seen papa so broken before," he said quietly.
Britany nodded while holding his arm. "I know. But he's lost his wife, his son. That's got to be hard." She would be heartbroken if anything happened to Kinnley.
"Yeah." He felt tightness suddenly well up in his throat, "I'm really going to miss her."
She smiled sadly. Then rubbed his chest. She didn't really know what to say. Sadness welled in her chest when she saw the tears well up in his eyes. "I'm sorry she's gone. She must've been really hurting to end things the way she did."
He nodded, "I know. I just wish I had seen it, then maybe I could've helped."
"Honey, I know you do your best to help your family. But sometimes people have to help themselves. They can't always expect you to save them." She placed a soft kiss on his cheek and snuggled beside him.
"So let me get this straight," Lance muttered while drying his fur with a towel. "This pack of females chose you as their alpha, wanted you to stay and father pups, and you turned them down?"
He crossed the room and sat on his bed, tossing the damp towel on the floor.
Pierce sighed and bent to pick it up. "What was I supposed to do Lance? Let Keelie just die?"
"She did anyway," he scoffed. He folded his arms behind his head and leaned back. "Still can't believe they want you." He sounded somewhat annoyed that his brother had such prospects.
Pierce frowned, but kept silent. He really liked their village, and wanted to stay. Maybe Anahi would allow him to return with her. It did hurt a little bit that Lance didn't seem to think he could have the position they offered him. That he wasn't qualified to give them pups.
"If it were me," Lance said, "I would've stayed. I would've got with every single one of them."
Pierce couldn't stop the snort of disgust from escaping him. "It sounds to me that you are just jealous." He hung the towel on the doorknob.
Lance sat up, "why would I be jealous of you?" His voice was full of contempt. "You're nothing special. They just wanted you because you were their only option."
A pang went through his chest. His own brother scorned him because of this. "I guess I should not have even mentioned it to you. I should have made a decision on my own."
"There's no decision to make. You go, and you be their alpha."
His eyes widened, "you think I should go?"
"Pierce, you'd be crazy not to. You've got these girls who are crazy about you. You can help save them. And you have to think about it? There's no sense in debating it."
He bit his lip, "what about mother?"
"Take her with you." He shrugged like that was obvious. "Or if she wants to stay, I'll be here."
Pierce stayed silent.
Lance sighed, "look, I don't understand why they want you. In my opinion you aren't the typical alpha. You're not the strongest, not the fastest, we don't even know how strong our father's bloodline is."
He frowned. "This is not helping."
"The point is, they want you. They want you to be alpha. To save their pack by becoming a father. There can't be anything more noble than that. I know you said you were content waiting for our cousin," he continued before Pierce could interrupt. "But this is a chance to do something more. To start your own path. Even if I won't be a part of it." His ears fell back at his last sentence.
Understanding spread across Pierce's expression. "I see what this is about. You are concerned about us being apart."
"We never have. Even when you wanted to leave our home I followed you." He swallowed, "and I can't now."
Pierce pulled his brother into a hug. "You can come with me," he added softly.
"No I can't. You're going to be alpha, something I've always wanted." He swallowed as his voice grew thick with emotion. "I can't take that away from you."
"I know you feel like I am leaving you," Pierce said with a fondness in his voice.
"I'm going to miss you little brother," he mumbled while resting his forehead against the other's.
"I will miss you too."
Gadget turned over in bed for what felt like the thousandth time that night. Their bed felt strangely empty. Correction, his bed. Keelie was gone, so he was alone tonight.
He swallowed and blinked away the building tears. He had spent most of the afternoon crying, and he was exhausted.
A part of him felt that it was his fault. If he hadn't given her a pup, maybe she wouldn't have felt so helpless. So lost. Or maybe if he had noticed how bad she was, he could've helped her. Saved her.
He turned on his other side again, holding her pillow to his chest.
Finally, he couldn't take laying here anymore. He got up and went to the cafeteria.
When he got there, Infinite was sitting at a table with a drink. He gave the jackal a tired smile.
Infinite nodded a hello and lifted his green mug to his mouth. "There's more tea on the counter," he said after lowering it.
Gadget fixed himself a cup, and sat across from him. "Can't sleep?" He asked.
"Something like that. You?"
Heavy silence fell over the two. "I just can't believe she's gone," he finally said.
A sigh, "yeah. She didn't deserve what she went through. I'm sorry." He added.
"It's not your fault."
"If I hadn't have left her she wouldn't have suffered so much. She wouldn't have been abused like that."
"Yeah. Maybe. But you can't change the past."
"I know. I try not to live in it so much."
"So," Gadget changed the subject, "you and Gaia?"
He dipped his head, "yeah."
"Are you happy with her?"
"I am."
Gadget smiled. He seemed so sure. The surest he'd ever seen the jackal. And he knew his sister had to be happy too.
"She's asleep now," Infinite said while glancing at the clock. Two am. "Probably."
He raised a brow, "was she awake when you left?"
"Kinda." He gave a one shoulder shrug.
Gadget grinned. "So you guys were up late."
Infinite swatted his shoulder, "shut up." But he had a smirk on his face. He raised his cup for another drink.
Gadget took another swallow. "Do you think there'll be a problem if the two of you have kids? Like Keelie and I had."
"Doubt it. She's bigger than me, so my pups would logically be smaller than her." He set the mug back down, "I don't understand why the two of you keep saying if though."
"Did she not explain to you that not everyone wants to have kids?"
"She mentioned it." His reply was nonchalant about the whole thing.
"So are you having some?"
"Who knows."
A sigh. "So you're just at it, and then if you get some fine?"
He raised a brow, "isn't that how it works? I don't get why you would be so intimate with someone if you don't want pups."
"Because you love someone. That's what people in love do. When the time is right. Don't you love being with her like that?" Concern crossed his face at the thought.
"I do. It feels right. But at the same time, wrong."
"Because of your culture."
"I guess."
"Well, you don't have to live the way you did in the village anymore," he said carefully.
Infinite frowned. "My heritage is important to me Gadget." An underlying challenge laced his words.
"I know," he put his hands up in defense. "I'm just trying to say that you are free to live how you want. Just please make sure you and Gaia are on the same page."
The jackal visibly relaxed. "Thanks Gadget."
The wolf smiled, he liked talking with his friend like old times. The way they used to. Before things got complicated.
The two males grew silent, just drinking their tea together.
