Chapter 19-

Rey took a moment to catch her breath, looking at the remains of the mirror cave entrance now blocked from top to bottom. That was one pile of rocks she would NOT be lifting...ever. She turned to Ben. He stood frozen in place staring at the cave. Whatever happened before she found him must have really unsettled him. She stepped close and lightly touched his arm.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, not wanting to startle him. The sound of her voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked down at her hand on his arm and then up to her face, concern instantly replacing the empty expression on his own.

"You're bleeding," he stated. He took the edge of his sleeve and gently dabbed at her temple. She winced and raised her hand to meet his.

"I- a rock hit me on the way out. I'm okay," she assured him. "But you...I felt it...something bad." He dropped his hand and turned away from her. She stepped around to capture his gaze again. "It's no use trying to deny it. We're connected, remember? Let me help you." She grabbed his arm lightly to hold him in place.

Moments passed, and she knew he was fighting against his own demons. All she could do was keep holding onto him. So she did. She refused to let go. Eventually, he started talking.

"I've done things, Rey… awful things. Things that are unforgivable. I've made some terrible choices, tried to blame them on everyone else…my parents, Luke, Snoke." He hung his head again. "But it's me...just me."

The look of sheer and utter pain in his eyes nearly broke her heart, so she grabbed his other hand. He continued, with a crack in his usually strong voice, as he gazed pitifully at her. "How can I come back from all of that? I can't." Again, his head dropped in shame, resigned to his misery. Rey waited to see if he would say more, but he didn't seem able to speak. Likewise, she had no idea what to say in response, so she did something else. Raising his big, powerful hands to her face, she kissed them tenderly and then held them against her cheek, hoping he could feel the care she willed to him.

Ben had not expected that. She lifted her eyes to his and he saw her tears. He pulled one of his hands from hers and wiped a drop from her cheek softly. "Why are you crying?" he asked in a whisper, clearly worried he had upset her.

"I'm crying for you," she replied. "I'm crying because I know how lonely you've felt for so long because I've felt it too. I'm crying because I see glimpses of the amazing man you truly are and I want you to realize how worthy and deserving of happiness you are. I'm crying because you think you're not good enough to be cared for...to be loved."

Who was this woman standing there in front of him saying things that soothed his broken soul and gave him hope for more? What had he done to deserve it? Was it really possible for him to change? She made him believe he could.

"I'm not going to stop, you know," she went on, wiping the remaining tears away from her face. He could only keep staring at her, speechless. "I won't stop- won't stop trying to make you see, won't stop letting you know you're not alone, won't stop… caring about you."

The last words hung expectantly in the air between them, something they had been dancing around for far too long now. Did she mean…? He couldn't even bring himself to finish the thought. If it wasn't what he was assuming it to be, he would be devastated. So he kept staring at her, waiting for a sign that this was either a horrible joke on his part or… something far different.

Then the Force whispered ever-so-softly in his ear, revealing the truth of many things, the truth of his place in his own destiny, the truth of her and him. It was all now suddenly so clear. The Light had never deserted him, though he had fought desperately against it. It had never given up trying to pull him back ever so gently, never one to force itself on anyone. No, it was a choice one had to make willingly and not for the sake of someone else. Having a person in your corner was just a bonus, and not to be taken for granted, but the choice could only be made by him and him alone.

Rey waited patiently, sensing he was working through it all. The mix of emotions shone on his face. "Ben," she said quietly, getting his attention, "what do you want?"

Had anyone ever asked him that question?

His eyes searched hers as he considered his answer. However, words were simply inadequate in this case. So, before he could talk himself out of it, he acted. He put both of his hands on the sides of her face and leaned down to place his mouth on hers, tasting her sweetness as she gasped lightly in surprise. Thankfully, she quickly responded in kind, becoming an eager participant in their kiss. Over and over, he kissed her, loving the feel of her lips on his, and she didn't pull away. With every touch, Ben felt his heart open up and fill with something new to him. Her hands came to rest on his hips and he stepped closer, not wanting to stop.

So he didn't stop for several more moments as the ocean breeze whirled around them and the sound of the waves played rhythmically in the background. Finally, their lips paused and parted, but he kept his hands on her face and gazed into her eyes. He noticed something familiar there. At the same time, they both smiled and then sighed, trying to calm their racing hearts. She placed a hand on his chest, over his heart and he moved a hand to the back of her neck, kissing her once again as she rose up on her toes to meet his lips.

This time when they pulled away, Rey noticed the suns were starting to set. It was getting late. She smiled awkwardly, not wanting this magical moment to end, but knew it was better to get back to the huts before dark. "We should probably go back. It will be night soon." Ben nodded in agreement, even though he would have stayed right there forever if she wanted.

She held out her hand. He looked at it, still not believing what was happening, then took it. His large one enveloped hers and they twined their fingers together. For the second time in mere minutes, he smiled.

"I am kind of hungry," he announced as they started walking down the beach, hand in hand. "Is there any of that green milk left? That stuff is pretty good."

Rey laughed out loud and looked over her shoulder at his confused expression. "We need to talk."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They finally made it back to the huts just as twilight faded into the inky black of night. The whole way back had been traversed in silence, no words needed. She just let herself be swept away by her burgeoning new feelings for this man. She could sense that something had changed in him, some monumental shift had occurred, a barrier removed that had been holding him back. He immediately started to get a fire going in the outside pit.

"I think I'm going to change into some dry clothes,"' Rey announced, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her bedraggled state.

He nodded and stood. "Yeah, me too." He offered a shy little grin as she shut her door. This was so… unexpected. She chuckled to herself at how things had changed so quickly. Could all of this really be happening? She took a deep breath and forced herself to do what she came to do.

Digging through the bag the Caretakers had supplied her with, she pulled out a long tunic made from the same cloth the natives wore. Although it looked as if it might be rough, it was surprisingly soft to the touch. It would do for now. Her own clothes were uncomfortably damp and starting to chafe. Not a desirable state to be in. She peeled them off and laid them out flat to dry. Then she slipped the tunic over her head and was pleased to see it came almost to her knees. Next, she took down the remains of her buns and ran her fingers through her still slightly wet hair, pulling it over one shoulder out of her way.

She gazed at the door. From this point on, what would things be like between them? What would they do? Where would they go? She couldn't answer all of those questions yet. For now, she just wanted to be in the moment. She grabbed the blanket from the bag, wrapped it around her shoulders and opened the door.

There he was.

Her heart did a funny little flip. He was standing with his back to her, looking out at the moon and stars reflecting off of the ocean's surface. He wore a similar tunic to hers, but it was much larger. She wondered if their hosts had sewn it specially for him since none of the Lanai were anywhere near his size. They had also given him some pants, but they must have miscalculated his height because they only hit him midway down his calves. Strange, but she had only ever seen him in all black.

Rey smiled and started toward him. Sensing her approach, he turned to see her. What she saw in his face sent a flush of heat to her cheeks. The way he looked at her made her feel very… feminine...very aware that she was a woman and he was a man and they were very much alone.

She was… beautiful, and he was speechless. Never before had he been so attracted to another person, never so absolutely enthralled with anyone like he was with her. Her hair was down, and it softened her features, making her even prettier than usual. He liked it down. She was wearing a loose tunic and clutching a blanket around her, but her legs and feet were bare. And she was smiling at him. He couldn't help but smile back, as foreign as it was to him. It was getting easier, however, with her around. In a few more steps, she was standing right next to him.

"I forgot how cold it gets at night up here," she said, pulling the blanket more tightly around her shoulders. He quickly put his hand at her back and started urging her closer to the fire.

"Here, sit by the fire," he instructed her. "I'll get us something to eat."

That was new, she noted...him offering to wait on her. It was...nice. She watched as he gathered something for them to dine on. He returned and sat down next to her, handing her a plate of food. "Thank you," she said shyly. It didn't take them long to finish the simple meal.

"It was nice of the Caretakers to send all of this with us," she said, making conversation. "It certainly beats the food on Jakku."

He grinned. "They have been very accommodating. I haven't eaten anything like this for a long time. First Order food is mass produced and all tastes the same." She chuckled and their eyes met and locked again, silence falling between them, anticipation in the air. The firelight cast a warm glow on his face. He scooted closer to her, not really knowing what to do next.

"I guess we should get some sleep," she finally said.

"I can't sleep," he replied, "not yet anyway. Too many thoughts."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

He grew silent and pensive again. He, like her, probably wasn't used to sharing his deepest thoughts with anyone else. Both of their lives had not afforded many trustworthy companions over the years. She laid her hand over his and he glanced at where she touched him. He slid his hand out from under hers and took hold of it, accepting her offer of comfort, but still not talking.

"When I was growing up on Jakku," Rey decided to start, "I used to gaze up at the stars at night and wonder about all of the places and people out there. I imagined my parents off on some important undercover mission. I was sure they would return once they finished it and we could live happily ever after." She felt his gaze on her but kept looking up at the night sky. "I've never told anyone this, but I would scratch a mark on the wall every day to keep track of all the time that passed. So many marks...so many days alone." She glanced over at him. "But I never gave up hope. I don't know why, really, except that maybe the Force helped me keep going. I never stopped believing that one day I wouldn't be alone anymore."

Their eyes locked and the air between them was alive. His free hand reached out to cup her cheek gently, and then his lips met hers in a slow, deep, soul-bonding kiss. When they stopped, Rey slid her arms around his waist and moved in close to embrace him. She pressed her cheek against his chest and could feel his heartbeat. His strong arms wrapped around her and he laid his chin on the top of her head.

"You're not alone," he pledged quietly, repeating words that had been spoken between them long before.

Rey lifted her face to look at him in earnest. "Neither are you."

He kissed her again, thoroughly and passionately. Then he just held her there in his arms, in front of the fire, under the stars...held her like she was the most precious thing in the whole galaxy. And she was.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Not long after, he could tell she was starting to doze off by the feel of her weight relaxing against him. He regretfully eased her out of his arms and stood up. She looked up at him, eyes heavy with sleep, and he pulled her up to stand in front of him.

"It's late. You need to get some sleep," he said, right before sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her toward her hut. Once inside, he set her down gently on the bunk and then built up a small fire to keep her warm throughout the night.

She laid down and just watched him. He was so different...so calm...so caring….so tender. She had been attracted to him already, but seeing this new, truer version of him was making her care about him more than she was ready to admit. Was this the real Ben Solo? The man he should have been all these years? The man kept hidden behind the facade of Kylo Ren for years?

He finished the fire and turned to her. "There. That should keep you warm tonight."

She looked at him and wanted to say, "You could keep me warm tonight," but didn't. It was too soon. So she just nodded and said, "Thank you."

"Good night," he said, and then left.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking out of her hut was not easy, not after seeing that last look in her eyes. It was almost as if she wanted him to stay with her, which wouldn't be the right thing to do. Would it? He glanced back at her door. No, he would seem too desperate if he went back inside. And what if he misread her intention? But then who was he kidding? If she had asked him to stay, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

Sighing, he turned toward his own hut and was shocked to see someone standing by the ledge overlooking the sea. It was a man with his back to Ben. That's all he could tell in the darkness, the dying flames of the fire not offering very much light. He slowly started approaching him, looking for something he could use as a weapon, readying himself to use the Force if need be.

The figure must have sensed him because he turned around to face Ben. "Hello, Ben."

Ben was confused. He didn't recognize this person, and yet the man knew him. "Who are you?" he demanded.

The man smiled and Ben realized he was wearing Jedi robes and was bathed in a bluish shimmer, just like Luke's Force ghost. Was this man a Force ghost too?

"You don't know me?" the man asked playfully, "your own grandfather?"

Ben's brow furrowed as he examined the figure before him. He couldn't have been even as old as Ben himself. He appeared young, but tall and strong, with an easy smile.

"You're Anakin Skywalker?" Ben asked in disbelief.

"Would you recognize me better if I looked like this?" The figure instantly shifted into the familiar visage of Darth Vader, a figure Ben had idolized for so long. In another instant Vader shifted back to Anakin's form.

"I don't understand," Ben said. "How can I see you now?" He had tried for years to communicate with his grandfather, thought he had been when it was only Snoke manipulating him. So why now... and how?

"This place is strong with the Force," Anakin explained, sweeping his arm out to indicate the island. "That might have something to do with it. And also, you've changed."

Ben startled in surprise. He had so many questions, but couldn't seem to speak.

Anakin continued. "I've been watching you for a while now, but I couldn't get to you. You were too far into the Dark Side, too closed off from the Light, and since we had never met, it was difficult for me to make contact. But now…" he smiled warmly. "Like I said, you've changed."

Anakin walked over near the fire and sat down on the bench. Ben turned to watch him but kept standing.

"I made a lot of mistakes… A LOT! Don't follow in my footsteps, Ben. I heard you all those times, promising to finish what I started." Anakin looked at him quizzically. "What exactly did you mean by that? What do you think I started?"

Ben pondered the question for a moment before answering. "I guess, being the most powerful...ruling the galaxy." It sounded really lame even to his own ears.

Anakin smiled and shook his head. "We definitely need to talk. Sit down." He nodded toward the seat next to him on the bench and Ben cautiously sat down. "To be honest, you're partially right. I did want to be powerful, but it wasn't so that I could rule the galaxy. It was because I wanted to save the people I loved from dying."

Ben was surprised by that admission.

"When I left my mother to go train with the Jedi, I always thought it would provide a way for me to come back and save her. She was a slave, you know."

He hadn't known.

"Being apart from her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. But you know a little about that, don't you?" He paused as Ben was gradually digesting it all. "Your mother was so worried you would turn out like me. I still don't think she's come to grips with knowing I'm her father. Can't say as I blame her. She kept it from you because she was afraid of how the knowledge would affect you and her. And fear, as you know, is of the Dark Side. Fear is a big part of what caused my own fall to the Dark. Fear of losing my mother and then fear of losing the woman I loved...your grandmother."

Ben noticed a wistful, bittersweet expression come across Anakin's face. "Padme," he whispered to the wind.

Ben had heard her name and knew only the little his mother had told him, which wasn't much. "What was she like?" Ben asked, his first words in some time.

Anakin glanced at him with a smile. "She was...an angel. I think I loved her from the very first moment I saw her. Of course, it took her a little bit longer to fall in love with me." He chuckled at the memories. "She was a queen, did you know that? When I first met her, she ruled the planet of Naboo. Ever been there?"

Ben shook his head no. He had heard a little about it, but that was all.

"Later, she became a Senator. She was always trying to solve problems with diplomacy, much like your mother. They're a lot alike, I think. Padme was brave and strong. She wouldn't back down from a fight, but was also kind-hearted to a fault. She was unbelievably beautiful. To have her love me was a dream come true...her a queen and me a nobody slave boy from some backwater planet at the edge of the galaxy."

"What happened?" Ben inquired. He had heard bits and pieces from his mother and Uncle Luke, but they didn't know the whole story. And he wanted to know.

"Back then, the Jedi discouraged 'attachments' with anyone else, so we tried hiding our marriage, keeping it secret. We lived in fear of being found out, not knowing what the ramifications might be for either of us. The galaxy was at war. We both had a part to play. She kept fighting for peace and I just kept fighting. When I found out she was pregnant, my fears overwhelmed me. I had dreams of her dying in childbirth and I couldn't stand to let that happen, not after losing my mom. So, I determined to find a way to save her.

"That's when the Dark Side came calling. Palpatine, as you know, was Emperor at the time, but we didn't know he was a Sith until later. He sensed my fears and doubts and preyed on them, telling me what I wanted to hear- that there was a way to keep those I loved from dying. I let fear overtake me and succumbed to his empty promises, giving myself to the Dark Side. Soon after I lost everything and everyone I cared about. The Dark Side leaves no room for love, for goodness, for hope. It swallows everything whole and leaves you feeling empty and alone and angry."

Ben nodded in agreement. He knew all too well the feeling of utter despair given by the Dark Side.

Anakin went on. "I lived many years on the Dark Side...did many horrible things. But one person, only one, came along and believed there was still the smallest bit of good left in me."

"Luke," Ben interjected. He knew this part of the story. Vader wanted Luke to turn and join him. He refused. The emperor nearly killed Luke until Vader interceded and killed the emperor instead. Vader ended his life redeemed as Anakin Skywalker.

"That's right. It just took one person, one little spark of hope." He glanced toward Rey's hut and Ben's gaze followed. "Don't wait until you're dying to realize the gift you've been given. You can let go of the past full of anger and fear and loneliness and have a better future. You can still do so much good. You can forgive and be forgiven. You can have what we Skywalkers have been fighting for for so long...peace, love, and family. That's really all that matters."

The two men locked gazes in understanding and then Anakin stood as if to leave. "Choose more wisely than I did, Ben. Don't wait until it's too late. And she's right, you know...Rey," he used his head to motion toward her hut. "You do deserve to be happy. And so does she."

With one last smile and a knowing nod, Anakin's Force ghost vanished, leaving Ben staring at Rey's door.

One little spark of hope...