cake0108: Thanks for reading. ^^::

...

"As long as it's what you want to do, Naruto, I don't mind doing it because it's you."

...

But This Photo of Us

The idea of having sex with Sasuke, as nerve-racking as it was back then, even now he can admit it's still a little intimidating, knowing how much Sasuke really does trust him, how easily he can let Naruto just touch him.

He wouldn't necessarily say that it makes him nervous, not exactly. He wants to think he got over that a long time ago, while they were still working their way up to handjobs and blowjobs, and his entire body seemed to flush at the very real possibility of going even further than that, just the thought of wanting to do the kinds of things he would think about doing to Sasuke.

He doesn't embarrass so quickly anymore. Although there're still a few things he worries about, he's gotten pretty comfortable initiating sex. He knows what to do, know better what to expect, and how to fit in the time for it when either one of them is in the mood. Overall, he can say he's done a lot of things he'd never pictured himself doing before—least of all, kissing another guy, never mind trying something like anal, and definitely when he hadn't even pictured doing it with any of the girls he'd been with.

(The first time he tried anal, while it did seem sort of weird in the beginning, he liked it more than he thought he would, especially likes being held in Sasuke's arms, likes the way Sasuke feels around him, what it feels like moving inside him, tries to draw it out, the fleeting sense of relief from being as close to Sasuke as he physically can be, even if every once and a while it comes with this raw sort of ache already welled up in his chest, reminding him that even then, being that close, it's still not enough.)

Compared to all the things Sasuke does let him get away with, though, so many things that don't even seem to faze him, he was surprised when Sasuke told him what kinds of things he actually hadn't done before, certain positions he'd simply refuse to do, because he said sex was just a means for him to get off, not the other way around.

"I don't have a problem with what I like. That's never bothered me because I just have a preference for what makes me feel good. But there was always the kind of guy who used that to make assumptions about what I should be willing to do, or how they were allowed to treat me, and didn't care to take into account the fact that it's just something I prefer doing."

The implications of that went unsaid. In those kinds of conversation, it was easy to pick up the implications of many things Sasuke obviously learned from personal experience, but Sasuke's always been straightforward about sex. Has no trouble whatsoever saying how much he likes it, or telling Naruto exactly what he wants to do.

Ironically, Naruto wasn't so comfortable with the direct approach. Although, in this case, the things he wanted to do with Sasuke, he couldn't help but worry about how he'd come across, especially with them both being guys, afraid it really did seem one-sided, and simply asking would be too much.

At the very least, he knew he'd eventually have sex with Sasuke. He wanted to. Despite having plenty of fantasy material, his hand could only take him so far, and masturbation cups weren't really an option (not when he already knew what it felt like to wake up annoyingly frustrated, from being pressed that close against Sasuke and not knowing what he should do about it); those types of aids didn't appeal to him, anyway, but, after his sixteenth birthday, his uncle had opened his eyes and showed him a whole new world of way too many things.

Before even thinking about working up the nerve to try anything with Sasuke, of course he did some research on his own. However, when he and Sasuke finally started to have those kinds of serious talks, what he once thought he knew, a lot of what he used to assume about sex between two guys, he realised pretty quickly that most of it wasn't true.

Sasuke was patient with him, though. He could be a little too honest with his answers sometimes, whenever Naruto had questions he didn't mean to involve Sasuke's past experiences, but Sasuke's never tried to push him into something he clearly wasn't ready for. He was fine letting Naruto decide what they would do, didn't mind following Naruto's pace, and didn't question why Naruto felt such a strong need to hold back.

How well Sasuke's able to read him, when so often Naruto used to hesitate, already convinced he was going to do something wrong, every time Sasuke would wait for him, so many times simply reach for him, and Naruto would swallow at the feel of Sasuke's palm against his own, at the careful whisper of his name, squeeze Sasuke's hand, squeeze his eyes shut too tight, let Sasuke's voice wash over him, let himself drown in the soft reassurance that what he was doing really was okay.

"As long as it's what you want to do, Naruto, I don't mind doing it because it's you."

Some of the things he likes, what he'd get so embarrassed admitting out loud, although Sasuke's never shied away from teasing him for it, he's always been open to what Naruto wants to try and just as willing to indulge him. Now that they go back and forth between using condoms, he might say something about having to deal with the mess at the end, but even when he already knows Naruto's going to get carried away, very rarely will Sasuke turn him down.

(Throw him down, maybe, if Sasuke's feeling particularly horny, before Naruto even has a chance to blink, Sasuke pinning his wrists to the bed, using Naruto's arms to steady himself, already shifting on top of Naruto's lap, and being totally unfair doing that thing he shouldn't be allowed to do with his hips.)

Other than occasionally teasing Naruto for having the nerve to blush over his own sexually depraved fantasies, Sasuke mostly just calls him a tactile person, likes to claim Naruto just has an incessant need to touch. Which probably is true. But then it works out, anyway, because to the extent that Naruto likes to touch him, just as much, Sasuke likes to be touched, too.

Yet knowing Sasuke's history, just seeing how comfortable he really is with sex, experiencing firsthand how very aware Sasuke is of his own body...

He won't apologise for still getting worked up thinking about Murakami, since he really can't fault himself for being upset about someone who tried to take advantage of Sasuke, no matter how long ago it was, but the fact that Sasuke has been with other guys, has been that close to anyone else, he tries not to let those kinds of thoughts get to him, because he knows he can't turn around and say Sasuke's the only person he's ever had sex with.

Sometimes, though, lying next to Sasuke, when he wakes up to Sasuke still sleeping beside him, when he just looks at him, so many mornings he feels at such a loss, just feels like he's trying to make up for the time he never got, make up for all the time with Sasuke he'll never have, all the time in the world that still wouldn't be enough—trying to live up to what he knows are misplaced expectations, not so hidden in the back of his mind, this vague idea of being the kind of guy Sasuke's never asked him to be.

Except it's more than wanting to make Sasuke feel good, more than his initial resolve to learn Sasuke's body, knowing where to place his hands, exploring all the ways Sasuke will let him just touch, because as sensitive as Sasuke already is, wanting to believe it means that much more when Sasuke's being touched by him, he doesn't think that makes him a bad person.

Although he catches himself staring every now and then, when his hands slide over the front of Sasuke's legs , trail down to curve around the inside of Sasuke's thighs, gets caught up watching the way Sasuke lets himself be moved, the way Sasuke moves with him, when he gently pushes against the inside of Sasuke's knees.

But considering how quiet Sasuke usually is during sex, while he doesn't make a lot of noise, he's responsive to a lot of things, and Sasuke's reactions, that's what he makes sure to pay attention to, make sure he's not doing anything Sasuke doesn't like, if he sees that Sasuke's getting close, the way Sasuke will reach for him, in between hitched breaths, will try to bring him even closer, holding on to him like he doesn't want Naruto to let go.

It still manages to take him a little by surprise, though, how much Sasuke lets him get away with, all the things he used to be so self-conscious about, that Sasuke doesn't mind letting him do.

Because Sasuke sitting with him like this, sitting in the middle of their bed, leaned back against him, held in between Naruto's legs, it's the kind of position Sasuke would've refused to do with any other guy before, the kind of position Sasuke admitted would've left him feeling too exposed, even during something like sex, reminding him too much how reckless he was, during that stupid phase he went through during high school.

But knowing somehow Sasuke sees him as the exception...

His arms lie loose around Sasuke, tighten as he raises his knees a higher, planting his heels nearer towards the edge of the bed, scooting closer and spreading his feet farther apart.

Sasuke slides a little lower, knees only slightly bent, letting his legs fall open to the side, as he leans further back.

Absently, Naruto toys with the front of Sasuke's black shirt, the soft material still cool against his bare chest. He rests his chin over Sasuke's shoulder, looking down as he lets his fingers wander, slowly reaching underneath Sasuke's shirt, unhurried, tracing faint lines along the top of short, dark blue boxer briefs.

He gives the grey waistband a light tug, left hand slipping beneath it with only the tips of his fingers, stopping short when he feels a slight shudder from Sasuke, pulling his fingers away.

He tugs on the waistband again. Letting it snap back, he slides his hand lower, curved between Sasuke's legs, at the sound of a soft sigh, pressing down a little harder, watching as Sasuke slowly starts to move, slowly raises his hips to meet Naruto's palm.

With his other hand, Naruto reaches to his right, towards a small jar already opened beside him. The rest of what's left, it's still enough to coat most of his fingers, plenty for what he wants to do. He circles his hand along the inside of the jar from the bottom, gathering more of the thick substance he starts to rub between his fingers.

His left hand marks a path along Sasuke's inner thigh, lightly pulls at the hem of Sasuke's boxer briefs. Carefully, he pushes it aside, following with the pad of his thumb, marking shivers displacing the warmth of Sasuke's skin.

Sasuke begins to extend his leg, little by little, his foot sliding closer towards the edge of the bed, before he raises his knee again, slowly lowering it back to the side.

Soft sighs start to come out a little faster, grow to sound just a little bit louder, when Naruto reaches with his right hand over Sasuke's right arm. The angle's a little awkward, and he can't see much of Sasuke's face this way, but he can see the slight tremble of Sasuke's thighs, beneath his fingers, feels Sasuke again shiver, as he brings his left hand to rest over Sasuke's neck, palm cradling Sasuke's chin, moving it higher, tilting Sasuke's head back.

Sasuke's probably going to say something about the mess later, about why Naruto a has thing about doing it like this sometimes, but he's usually a lot more agreeable in the moment, so Naruto really prefers to concentrate on just that, as he bites on his lower lip, careful with the slight press of his right finger, taking his time pushing inside, just as careful pulling back out.

Slowly, Sasuke starts to roll back from his hips, between uneven breaths, hardly even moves with tiny little sways, circling back down with his hips to ride the steady motions of Naruto's finger, as Naruto gradually works his way up to two.

Naruto drops his head, breathes in through clenched teeth, breathes out too harsh. He gives in to a shallow thrust, with a low grunt, gives in to the friction from being pressed so close against Sasuke, except sitting like this, it's not the best position for him, nowhere near close to being enough, but he holds himself there, holds himself still, forces out another breath, wets his thumb rubbing small circles against the corner of parted lips.

The hand holding Sasuke's chin slowly moves over Sasuke's face, slowly moves to cover his eyes.

High, Sasuke arches against him, at the crook of Naruto's fingers suddenly moving faster, stutters through a sharp cry, pushing up from his heel against the sheets, pushing back as he sinks a little lower, rolls down with his hips trying to take in more of Naruto's fingers, blindly reaching beside him, left hand grasping at the material of Naruto's sweats.

And then, Naruto stops.

Almost immediately, Sasuke stops, too, but Naruto stays still.

He doesn't do anything, just waits for Sasuke to move.

Sasuke breathes out, eyes still covered by Naruto's hand, breathes in. He tightens his grip, palm pressing down against Naruto's leg. Barely, only just barely, he makes the slightest little motion with his hips, but it's still enough to make him shudder, as he lets his head fall back, with the slow, upward roll of his hips, starts to rock against Naruto's fingers, when Naruto slowly begins to move with him, Sasuke moving to meet Naruto reaching further inside him, rolling back down with his hips to rock against Naruto hard behind him.

With the rise of his chest, Naruto shudders. His breaths start to come heavy, to his ears, sound too loud, at the fall of his chest, feel too unsteady. He grits his teeth at the increasing pressure against his lap, keeps the rest of his body still through another shudder, as Sasuke continues to move, up and down so deliberately slow, sliding along the length of the impression made through the front of Naruto's sweats

He gives it a few good seconds, tries to wait it out a little bit more, but he doesn't give in first. Instead, he uncovers Sasuke's eyes, lets his left hand fall away, not giving Sasuke time to think, already moving to pull at the waistband of Sasuke's boxer briefs, bringing it down to reveal Sasuke's erection, as he carefully lowers them both down on to the bed, lowering Sasuke on top of him.

The back of Sasuke's head lands above Naruto's shoulder. There's a sharp inhale, at the sudden removal of Naruto's fingers no longer inside him, a choked gasp, when Sasuke jolts, bucking his hips, thrusting into Naruto's right hand. His arms flail a little, as Naruto's other hand reaches from underneath his knee, pulling it aside to open Sasuke's leg a little wider.

He's getting close, Naruto can tell. The way it looks like Sasuke doesn't know what to do with his hands, doesn't know where to reach for Naruto first, between already shaky gasps growing higher and higher, caught between Naruto's fingers wrapped around his erection, and Naruto's quick, shallow thrusts from underneath him.

The sudden shift in position, like touching that one spot on the back of Sasuke's left thigh, it really can throw Sasuke off sometimes, so that's something Naruto will fully take advantage of, each and every time, but he stops when Sasuke grabs his arm, lets up as soon as the hand on his bicep squeezes twice, just before Sasuke tenses up and his whole body goes still.

It doesn't take long until Sasuke begins to relax, though, before he starts to settle into the almost sleepy sort of haze that usually follows whenever they have sex.

Naruto picks up the small towel folded neatly beside him. He uses it to wipe Sasuke off, before wiping off his own fingers, distracted watching Sasuke lift his hips, carefully shimmying out of dark blue boxer briefs he then tosses somewhere over the side of the bed, completely missing the open hamper.

Setting the towel down, Naruto raises both eyebrows. "I thought you didn't like it when it was too messy?" he says, as Sasuke moves off him, rolling on to his stomach, before turning back around to lie on his side.

"Mm." Sasuke raises a knee closer to his chest, facing Naruto with heavy-lidded eyes, arms folded beneath his head, cheek resting near the back of his hand.

"Hey..." Naruto sits up, almost frowns, trying to ignore the not so distant thought that he finally did do something wrong. "...you all right?"

Sasuke gives another low hum. "I'd tell you if anything was wrong. You don't have to ask me all the time."

"I know I don't, but..."

"I told you. It's fine. You're the one who's still hard."

"Yeah, well..."

Of course he can't say it's the most comfortable feeling, but it isn't the most unbearable thing, either. It happens sometimes. Besides, it's already getting late. The whole point of this was supposed to be about getting Sasuke off, anyway, the same kind of thing so many times Sasuke's already done for him; occasionally, Naruto just likes using only his hands to do it.

Eyes slightly narrowed, Sasuke gives him a strange look. It's not quite like he's mentally questioning Naruto's intelligence, not in the way he used to. Maybe it does kind of feel like something a little close to that, but it somehow seems more assessing, like there's something about Naruto he's trying to figure out—the same kind of look he gave when Naruto accidently discovered he apparently had a thing for Sasuke keeping his socks on during sex.

Either way, whatever it was, whatever he did, it just goes straight over his head.

It can't be anything too bad, though, not when Sasuke lets out a light snort, giving a playful tug to the waistband of Naruto's sweats. "Come here, Naruto."

Naruto doesn't even question the demand. He shifts on the bed, starts to move closer, definitely doesn't squeal when he nearly falls over from Sasuke suddenly pulling him down. But he catches himself before he can fall on top of him, lands on his knees, holds himself up with both hands placed on either side of Sasuke's head.

"But I thought you said—"

"I only said I want you to touch me, Naruto."

"...oh."

"I won't ask you to do anything I don't like doing."

Naruto finds himself staring into dark eyes, at the fingers gently running through his hair, finds himself being lowered closer.

"And wanting you to touch me," Sasuke whispers, breathes soft over Naruto's lips, the real nice kind of low, like he wants to make sure whatever he says is only for Naruto to know.

"...yeah?"

"...that means I like doing what you want to do, too."