POV: Dimitri

Everything was black.

Black, empty, cold void. It stretched endlessly. It was nothingness. I was a part of it now. I died. Disappeared. That was it.

Then there was a spark and with it came a bit of warmth. The light grew. I watched it chase away the shadows up until it turned so blinding I could no longer look at it. Once it dialed down, I found myself staring at a... fridge? I blinked before focusing on my hand wrapped around its handle. It took me a moment to realize that I could actually feel the plastic beneath my fingers. Is this real?

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a loud shout erupted from behind.

"OH, COME ON! Did you see that? Fucking unbelievable!"

Adrian?

I turned around, my eyes falling onto the back of his head. As it shaked and tilted half of his face came into my view. There was a dose of annoyance etched into it, but his expression still looked light.

"The ref is blind. I got no other explanation."

I froze. All questions about my surroundings, thoughts about why the couch Adrian was sitting on looked so oddly familiar, ponderings on how and why I was here —wherever that was — came to a screeching halt. My eyes snapped to the man next to Adrian. They travelled from his sandy blond hair, to his deep blue eyes before settling on his wide smile. Everything about him was just as I remembered.

It was Ivan.

"Yo, Dimitri, are you brewing those beers or what?", Adrian shouted, peering over his shoulder in my general direction.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was", Ivan chuckled, turning around and facing me with a smile that quickly twisted with worry, "Hey buddy, are you okay?"

Adrian twitched at Ivan's question and turned as well. Despite the alarm visible in his eyes, Adrian's tone was teasing when he said: "Did you run out of barley? I can go buy some if it'll make you happy."

"Dimka?", Ivan peeped, starting to stand up, "You look like you've seen a ghost. Is everything alright?"

"This can't be real", I whispered, taking a shaky step forward.

"Okay, I'm calling it!", Adrian exclaimed, jumping to his feet and heading towards me, "Time of alcohol overdose, eight tirthy PM."

Ivan followed his lead, both of them latching onto me and stirring me to the couch. Their grips felt real. All of this felt real. But it couldn't be. It simply and absolutely couldn't. Yet, the couch was solid when my back hit it and my palm stopped when it landed on Ivan's shoulder despite how much I was convinced it'd fall through it and prove that my mind was playing tricks on me.

I took a deep breath and, before I could overthink it any further, pulled Ivan into an impossibly tight hug. I heard a huff of protest from where his face ended up buried in my shoulder, but soon his arms came up to wrap around me. It took me a second to realize Adrian was tapping my shoulder before he laughed: "Aww, he is adorable when he's drunk."

"And weird", Ivan mumbled, trying to pry me off him, "I love you Dimka, but hell, I still need to breathe."

I reluctantly let go of him. I was afraid if I didn't hold onto him... to all of this hard enough, it'd disappear. It would be ripped away from me. And I needed this. I need my two best friends grinning at me cheerfully, making happiness roll through every part of my body, giving me peace. I wanted to stay and a part of me, a big part, had no desire to figure out what was happening here. I just wanted to give into it. But, I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I was sure I'd actually get to stay.

"We have to get you sobered up before your wife gets back though", Adrian said, a worried frown crossing his face.

"She'll have our heads if she finds out we tricked you into drinking on the night of your anniversary."

"Especially if he can't get it up later", Adrian chuckled, his mood brightening up as quickly as it had turned gloomy.

"Dude!", Ivan exclaimed in horror, but clearly couldn't help a smile, "Don't plant a seed of self-doubt like that. It never ends well. Remember that night in Paris?"

"That was not my fault", Adrian erupted which led them into a heated banter I was too dazed to follow.

Is this heaven? It couldn't be. Men like me... we were meant to end up in that other, dark and twisted place. Somebody must've made a mistake. I shouldn't—, I didn't deserve to be here, just like I didn't deserve to be saved. I wished for the rest I'd thought was long overdue when I was still alive, but deep down I knew that wasn't waiting for me at the end of the line. It couldn't be. I'd done bad things. I'd hurt and killed people. It was one of the most important reasons why I thought I wasn't worthy of the love Roz—.

"Dimka, get the door for crying out loud", Ivan hissed, snapping my attention back to what was going on around me. He and Adrian were on their feet, frantically disposing of beer bottles and empty bags of snacks.

"Hurry up and let me in, I'll pee myself", a muffled voice came from behind what I figured was the front door.

Impossible. Roza. My Roza.

Hearing her voice — that was the push I needed, the one thing that made me forget about all of my doubts. I didn't care if this was real. I didn't care about anything. I only wanted to see her, hold her, kiss her and let everything else fade away.

I sprung to my feet while Adrian tossed something into Ivan's hands and muttered: "Pregnant women and their bladders are a freaking nightmare. Sydney almost peed our bed the other night."

"Seriously?", Ivan laughed while I rushed towards the door Roza was persistently pounding on.

"Comrade, I'm not kidding", she shouted as I grabbed the knob and unlocked the door, swinging it open. But I didn't see Rose when the door was no longer between us. I saw a bright flash. And then darkness swallowed me again.

"— started beeping faster and I'm not sure if that's a good sign", someone said. All I could tell was that their voice sounded distant and unfamiliar. I couldn't see them. As much as I tried, I couldn't see anything.

"Guess we're about to find out", another person voiced and I could hear them more clearly than the first, as if they were closer to me.

I tried to reach out to them, but I couldn't get my arm to move. My body was numb to the point that I could only barely flex my fingers. I wanted to speak, but couldn't get my lips to move. I became aware of the fact that my eyes were shut, my eyelids so heavy I would've thought they were glued together if they didn't tremble when I attempted to move them.

"Oh God, I think he's waking up", the person I heard speaking first sighed happily.

"Looks like it. Belikov? You with us?"

A low grumble spilled through the air and it took me a moment to realize I was its source. It was followed by a chuckle that I finally recognized belonged to a man. I knew him and, as he spoke again, I remembered who he was.

"I'll take that as a yes", Ibrahim Mazur said, "Ms. Sage, will you please phone the lovely doctor and let her know that her patient is awake?"

"Yes, of course."

I heard feet shuffling and then a creak of a door. A hand landed on my shoulder as I put all of my strength and focus into lifting my eyelids. After a few moments, it worked. At first I only took a peek through my lashes, frowning at the light coming from the ceiling, but then slowly I gritted my teeth and faced the world. Or, well, at least the part of the world that found itself right in front of my face. It was odd how I never noticed Rose's eyes were the same color as Ibrahim's.

"Welcome back kid", he said, leaning away as I blinked up at him.

I tried to get up as soon as I realized my body was no longer paralyzed. I should've known it was a bad idea. Pain shot through me instantly, but it wasn't as intense as I expected it to be. Still, Ibrahim's hand on my shoulder pressed against me to keep me down while he added: "Take it easy. They got you pretty bad."

"Rose?", I muttered and saw him quirking his eyebrow.

"Is fine. So is your dear cousin. They were both quite worried about you though."

"Where—?", I started, my voice raw from how dry my throat was.

"They went to take care of some business", Ibrahim cut in, saving me the trouble.

Sydney returned to the room, her face splitting into an honest and relieved smile. It was somehow reassuring to see her. Maybe because I knew she would be by Rose's side no matter what if her friend needed her or if she was in trouble. That meant that the business Ibrahim mentioned wasn't dangerous. Or it is and it's exactly why they left Sydney behind, a part of me panicked, making me mumble: "P-phone."

"What was that?", Ibrahim prompted since what left my mouth sounded more like a groan than a word.

"I need a phone."

At that Sydney rushed to my side, handing over the phone she was holding. I typed in one of the rare numbers I knew by heart and dialed. I cleared my throat with two forced coughs while I waited, trying to stay calm even though the anxiety I felt just kept growing with every dull and monotonous ring that filled my ear. Pick up, pick up, pick up, I silently begged, barely stopping myself from shouting in relief once I heard Adrian half bark, half hiss: "What?"

I didn't know whose phone this was, but they must've really pissed him off. It took me a couple of tries before I could come up with a response since my mind was too focused on the fact that Adrian was alright. Finally, I decided reciting the line he'd said to me when he was in a similar situation was the best way to go about it. I was sure joking would simultaneously dial his shock and reassure him I was fine.

"I'm at the very least owed a soothing tone and kind words after this close call."

Instead of laughter, I was only met with a deafeningly silent pause and then a short, whispered question: "Dimitri?"

"Hey."

A loud and panicked voice came from somewhere near Adrian. I couldn't make out any words, but I recognized it as Rose's. I wanted to ask him to give her the phone, but he only blurted: "Don't fall into a coma again. We'll be there soon."

The line went dead.

I thought the time it'd take Adrian and Rose to come back would pass slowly, but between Sydney and Ibrahim filling me in on what I'd missed and Alberta arriving to check on my wounds, it was like a blink of an eye really. I felt like it'd been a lot more than two days since I was last awake. I was still attempting to wrap my head around all of the information Ibrahim had served up for me, before he was ushered out of the room by Alberta, when someone announced their arrival by nearly taking the front door off its hinges by the sound of it. It didn't take a genius to figure out it was one of the two people I'd been waiting for.

Adrian was the first to burst into my room. With how out of breath he was, I wasn't sure he didn't opt to run all the way back here instead of using his car. His hair was a mess and I knew he'd made it that way by repeatedly running his hands through it. He always did that when he was nervous or worried. I would've thought it was the meeting with Soldatis that put him on the edge if not for the way he looked at me. I was the reason behind his fear and worry, it was right there in his eyes. But, before either of us could say anything about it, he nearly got knocked down by the second arrival.

I didn't even get a chance to blink before I got a facefull of dark curls. Rose was on my bed faster than a cheetah, wrapping her limbs around me like an octopus. There was no gentleness in her actions, but despite the discomfort verging on pain caused by her movements, I didn't mind it. I hugged her back as tightly as I could, taking a deep breath even though her hair was partly blocking the air flow.

"Rose, you're gonna crush him", Adrian chuckled unevenly.

"Fuck off", Rose mumbled into my shoulder, her hug turning into something closer to a chokehold before she finally pushed herself up so she could look at me.

I sunk my fingers into her wild lock and held them back as her lips found their way to mine. Our kiss lasted shortly since she pulled away to whisper: "I missed you."

"I can see that", I laughed, rubbing her nose with mine, "I missed you too."

"Alright, alright! Can you put the disgusting romance on pause so I can at least say hi?", Adrian protested, moving from the doorway.

Rose rolled her eyes and sat up, allowing him to come closer. He lowered his hand, hesitating a bit before placing it on my shoulder. With a gentle squeeze and a short, careful tap he let go, choosing to lean against the headboard instead as he huffed: "Please stop getting shot. It stresses me out."

"Oh, well if you don't like it—."

"I'm sorry to break up the happy reunion", Alberta interrupted, reminding all of us that she was still there, Sydney patiently waiting by her side as well, "But, Dimitri really should get more rest if you want him back on his feet soon."

Adrian cleared his throat and muttered: "Right, um, Rose... you coming?"

Instead of responding to him directly, she looked at me pleadingly and whispered: "I want to lie here with you for a while if that's okay."

I tugged her into my embrace and planted a kiss on top of her head in agreement. Alberta warned her not to keep me awake for too long before leaving, Sydney and Adrian following her shortly while Adrian added: "I'll see you later Cousin."

I only nodded, my brain too fried to do anything more than simply register that his expression was a bit odd when he departed.

Rose lightly dragged her fingertips over my chest as we got comfortable. I relaxed under her touch, so much so that I found I had no control over my mind or mouth.

"I had a dream, while I was out", I mumbled, not sure why I was telling her that.

"What did you dream about?", she prompted, gazing up at me curiously.

"Adrian. You", I paused before adding, "Ivan was there too."

Her eyes lit up, but she opted to hum and nuzzle her face against my chest instead of saying anything on the topic. My arms wrapped around her further as a voice at the back of my head screamed out in fear that she might dissolve, like the dream I'd mentioned, if I didn't hold onto her with all of my strength.

I closed my eyes and focused on forcing my heartbeat to match hers. Exhaustion seeped into my bones, taking me by surprise. It'd barely been half an hour since I'd woken up, but it was clear I needed to make up for all of the sleepless nights I've had lately. I was afraid to give into that exhaustion at first, but having the woman I love safe in my arms eventually lulled me to sleep. Just before I dozed off, a quiet mumble spilled from my lips on its own: "You would've loved him."

I didn't think she replied, but then again, I was asleep the second those words were out. At some point, I woke up in time to see Sydney poking her head into the room. When I peered up at her, she mouthed sorry and backtracked, but I called out to her quietly. She cocked her brow in a question and I added: "Do me a favour?"

"Of course."

"Check on Adrian."

She frowned in obvious confusion, but nodded before closing the door behind her.

POV: Sydney

I didn't even have an inkling about where Adrian went after we left Dimitri's room and headed downstairs. One moment he was right behind me, the next he vanished. I was slightly surprised when he didn't show up for dinner, but when Tatiana didn't ask Kit to go find him, I figured he'd either asked to be left alone or she assumed it was what he wanted. No one seemed worried or curious so I quickly forgot about it and focused on eating as fast as I could in order to escape Rose's father's company. He was a strange man, pushy too. He asked many questions I didn't want or wasn't sure I should answer. Luckily, Tatiana distracted him at some point by striking up a conversation about some people and events I knew nothing about. That gave me an opportunity to slip away undetected as soon as I was done eating.

With nothing better to do, I wandered around the house for about an hour, spending a bit of time with Eddie and Mason during their coffee break. In hindsight, going to Dimitri's room to check on him and Rose was a bad idea since it left me with a task I really didn't want. I knew it'd be rude to ignore Dimitri's request, but I cursed my decision to turn around when he called after me all the way up to Adrian's room. In my aimless stroll, I'd explored most of the house so it really wasn't all that difficult to find my way to his door. I knocked and when I heard no response or signs of life from the other side, I almost left straight away. Almost. But the silence seemed too ominous. So, I knocked again then tried the knob.

The door wasn't locked which made sense because the room appeared to be empty. A couple of faint clinking noises coming from behind the curtains fluttering around the balcony door made me realize my assumption wasn't quite right. It could be the wind, my mind prompted, and nothing more. I rocked on my heels while pondering if I should check to see what caused the noise then finally pushed myself forward. I walked over to the door slowly. The curtains wrapped around me like vines when I was within their reach and I wound up paying more attention to fighting them off than to where I was going.

"Careful", a warning came as I stumbled outside.

I huffed and swatted the rest of the flimsy material off my face, freezing as soon as I realized why the direction Adrian's voice came from sounded impossible. He was sitting on the railing, his feet dangling on the wrong and dangerous side of it. More clinks followed as he knocked the bottle he was holding against the railing when he tried to wiggle around to look at me. His free hand seemed to be alarmingly loosely wrapped around the bar beneath him. That weak grip was the only thing preventing him from falling and my heart leaped when I saw his fingers moving to uncurl.

"No, no, don't!", I cried out, making him pause, "Don't move!"

"Relax Sage, I—", he trailed off as he nearly dropped his bottle, some of the liquid escaping from it, "Ups."

"Adrian, please, just stay still."

He rolled his eyes, but obliged. I moved toward him, barely even lifting my feet off the floor since I was too afraid any sudden movements would startle him and make him fall. I slowly extended my hand, my heartbeat becoming frantic during the few agonizingly slow seconds that passed before my fingers brushed his sleeve. He was calm and patient, waiting until I latched onto him and met his eyes before he spoke again.

"We good?"

"No. We will be once you get back on this side of the balcony", I replied as I snuck under his arm and forced him to wrap it around my shoulders, "Come on."

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly", I hissed while he sighed and threw one of his legs back over the railing.

It took some careful maneuvering, but he eventually found his way down. I thought the tension would leave my body once he was no longer in eminent danger, but as I helped him straighten up on his feet, I realized the concept of personal space got all but lost in the meantime. His lips brushed my nose as I looked up, my lungs halting their work when I literally felt his words shaping in the small space left in-between our lips.

"Happy now?"

I swallowed down and gave him the smallest nod in the history of nods. Clearly, he was either unaware of how compromising our position was or he didn't care. When I stepped back he followed, his arm still partly hooked around me. I blurted out his name in a mix of a warning and a question by reflex and only then did he realize he was supposed to let go. He made a face that said 'right' before stepping back. Once we were no longer touching, I dared to inhale and he took a swing from his bottle. I was about to scold him when he added: "Dunno why you even care."

"Excuse me?"

"You'd be better off if I took a nosedive anyway", he mumbled, moving back to his room.

"Don't say that", I protested as I followed, ending up in that curtain trap nightmare again. How come he didn't get stuck?, I wined to myself.

"Why? It's the truth. Besides, I'm a monster. I'd deserve it."

"No, you're not. You said it yourself, you're not a—."

"I lied", he cut in, leaving his bottle on the nightstand while I caught up to him and tried to get him to face me, "I'm a liar and a monster. I'm rotten. Poison."

"Adrian—."

"This is my fault. All of it. My fault."

"W-what are you even talking about?", I exclaimed, reaching for him instinctively.

"No!", he snapped and I froze with my hand halfway to him, "No. You need to stay away from me. Stay far away. I destroy everything I touch. Everything."

"That's not true", I gasped weakly, ducking so I'd catch his gaze.

"It is. Everyone around me dies. And you don't know. You don't know what I did... you'd hate me if you knew. You hate me already."

"I don't hate you", I tried, but he shook his head, "I promise I don't, okay? Adrian? Hey, look at me."

He did. I was certain that the way I felt the moment our eyes met was very close to how people felt when they were struck by lightning. For a split second, all thoughts fled from my brain and I was left staring at him shell-shocked. His face showed so many different emotions that I couldn't even begin to figure out. The way his eyes shined made me think he either had a fever or was about to start crying. It was probably more likely that I'd get to see the halley's comet two times than Adrian in tears, but it looked like I was awfully close to witnessing something impossible.

"He almost died. I pushed him into this and he almost died", he whispered, more to himself than me.

The raw vulnerability in his voice and expression made me do something neither of us expected. I didn't know if he'd push me away or snap at me again, but I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. At first, he went rigid, but then I felt his hands touch my waist. He kept them there for a few moments and, though I couldn't see his face or hear his thoughts, I somehow knew he was trying to decide whether he should use them to push me away or pull me closer. Eventually, he picked the latter. His hug was gentle and tight at the same time. Warm. And... safe.

"He is fine. Dimitri is fine. You don't have to worry anymore", I whispered against his neck and felt him tremble. His breathing slowed down and his body slumped against mine as tension seeped out of him.

"I—", he started saying, his voice muffled against my shoulder and despite the fact that I didn't know what he was going to tell me, I was certain he chose to finish his sentence differently than he intended, "I think I should sit down."

I began pulling back, but he didn't let me move far. As my arms slipped away from him he caught one, tugging me after him as he moved to his bed. Once he sat down and I remained standing next to him, he looked up and asked: "Could you—?"

He trailed off, but I didn't really need him to finish. I sighed and fixed his eyes as I said: "Fine. But don't get any ideas."

"I won't", he solemnly answered and I actually believed him.

He moved back, lying down as I climbed onto the bed. This is a bad idea, my mind warned, but I ignored it and stretched out next to him. He rolled onto his side while I curled my knees up to my chest. I trusted he'd stay true to his word, but putting a barrier between us still seemed like a smart precaution. A part of me was aware the barrier wasn't needed just because of him, but the rest of me wasn't quite willing to admit that being in the same bed with Adrian even with clothes on and without any touching, did some very worrying things to my heartbeat.

We laid next to each other without speaking or moving for a long time. I would've thought he'd fallen asleep if his eyes didn't flick up to mine every once in a while. He never held my gaze for too long, almost like he was ashamed or scared to do it. Neither of those options seemed likely, so I concluded he was probably only trying to make things less awkward. He knew that I stayed because he promised to be on good behaviour. What he didn't know was that I would've stayed even if he wasn't though I had no intentions on letting him know that. At least not until his eyes met mine once again and held them for a change. His gaze alone made my body heat up and I became distantly aware of a faint voice at the back of my head begging me to do something other than just stare at him like hypnotized.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words made it out. Instead, he lifted his hand and slowly tucked my hair behind my ear. His index finger traced the shell of my ear and I felt a shiver run down my body. He must've felt it too. He froze for a moment, even the breath he was sucking in halting, but when I made no attempts to move away, kept going. His fingers ghosted over my neck, right beneath my jaw, until he reached my chin and tucked them underneath. He leaned toward me like he was going to kiss me, but stopped a mere inch shy of my lips.

"Thank you."

"W-what for?", I stammered, embarrassed that I couldn't keep my voice steady.

"For", he started, his eyes travelling all over my face in a way that made me think he was trying to commit to memory every single line of it, "Being here."

I was going to point out I didn't really have a choice in the matter since he did after all kidnap me, but instead I only ended up saying: "You're welcome."

His fingers moved again, sliding down to my collarbone and then tracing the upper edge of it. I considered telling him to stop, but my body was enjoying the touch too much and wouldn't let me do anything to make it go away. He could kiss me. I was certainly giving him, if nothing then some very mixed signals by allowing this. But he said he wouldn't. That night when we were in a gazebo. I made him promise it.

"Did you mean it?", he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Mean what?", I mumbled, my breath hitching while he played with the neckline of my blouse, never crossing the line or attempting to move it.

"When you said that you don't hate me."

"Yes."

"Good", he said as his hand suddenly dropped back onto the bed, "That's good."

I was surprised when every brain cell I had silently screamed at him to keep going. I tried to get myself under control, but failed miserably. I could see his lips moving while he talked, but I couldn't hear a word of it because of the blood pulsing in my ears. Whatever it was, it made him smile softly and I became completely consumed by the desire to kiss that smile. I sprung up, startling him into silence. He sat up too and stared at me a little wide-eyed.

"Sydney, are you alright?"

"No", I mumbled, "Not really."

If somebody would've told me that one day I'd tackle Adrian down and kiss him as if my life depended on it, I would've laughed them off. Guess the joke is on me. He was caught by surprise so much he didn't even have time to put up any resistance. I lost my balance when I jumped him, but he caught me before I could actually fall. I felt his lips move under mine, but not because he was trying to kiss me back.

"Syd—."

"You need to shut up and kiss me", I nearly growled which actually ended up being the thing that shook me out of my trans. I pulled away and blushed, adding: "If you want to. I didn't, um, mean to assume or—."

"Oh, trust me, I want to", he cut in, moving until I was straddling his lap and he sat up again, "But I distinctly remember you said you don't want me to kiss you, ever."

"I know", I said, taking a deep breath, "Guess that makes me a liar too."

His eyebrow quirked and his lips slowly pulled into a smirk before he said: "Guess it does."

And then he was kissing me.


Drumrolls please...… guess who finally finished their chapter? Well, obviously you know it's me since you just read it XD Gosh guys, I'm so sorry it took me this long to post! I've already explained why I was MIA, but I figured I should still apologize one more time! But, I do have the best readers ever so I'm pretty sure most of you don't hate me for it *fingers crossed*! Anyhow, Dimitri is fine so you can all let out that breath you've been holding since December XD Andddd lets give a round of applause to Adrian and Sydney for finally quitting the overthinking business and diving in heart and lust first into this! Wasn't this chapter fun? Okay, maybe not fun, but at least very entertaining! Right, stop writing and let these lovely people talk about the chapter themselves Tia! Ready, set, go guys! :D

Question of the week: Sooo since a lot of the shows that I'm watching are coming to and end this or the following year, I figured I should start browsing for new ones to obsess over (not that they have to be new shows, I actually prefer watching the ones that aren't still being filmed since I hate waiting or at least those that have plenty of seasons to keep me entertained while I wait for the new stuff)! Which is why I decided to ask y'all, which shows would you recommend? My answer is kind of obvious since I stopped counting how many times I mentioned my favorite show (just in case anyone forgot it's Supernatural), but just to mix this up a little, I'll add more recommendations! If you're into comedy and shock humor go watch Shameless ASAP (the American version, I have no idea if the British one is any good)! Also, if you like CSI, murder solving kind of shows, but with a little twist Ripper Street is great and finished so you won't have to wait for new seasons! Bonus round: Vikings, Peaky Blinders, Narcos and Money Heist (aka La Casa de Papel) are all awesome! Your turn!

Songs: Fake - The Tech Thieves, Seasons - Olly Murs

P.S. I'll try to finish the following chapter this week so I can post it on time, but if I don't your patience is always appreciated and I'll repeat I'm NOT abandoning this story!

P.P.S. Lots of love, hugs and kisses to all of you!