Ragnar is supposed to be at work right now, but Rollo had been on his case about Lagertha leaving him all morning. Ragnar had tried to ignore it, but when Rollo had started blaming Athelstan for his family falling apart, Ragnar had snapped. He had almost ended up hitting his brother, but Floki had held him back, and he had told him to go home.

But Ragnar hasn't gone home, instead he has gone to the community centre.

"What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, just let me finish this," Athelstan says, before looking down at the papers in his hands. Ragnar can't help but notice the picture on the wall, one that was taken during one of their summer barbeques, one of all the boys, Lagertha, Ragnar and Athelstan.

"Oh, I… is it okay?" Athelstan asks, a shy look on his face, when he realises what Ragnar is looking at.

"Of course!"

"Do you want to go outside to talk? It's cold, but…"

"Yes," Ragnar quickly says, hoping that the fresh air will calm his nerves. And as soon as they get outside, the cold takes his breath away. But being back in the garden, it reminds him of all the time they have spent here together over the summer. Only months ago the shed had been there, and they had spent the night there, when the roads had flooded. And as he is staring at the exact spot where the bed must have been then, Athelstan grabs his hand.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you still want me to build you a new shed?"

"Well, I need a place to live, so…"

"Yeah…" Ragnar pulls his hand free from the younger man's grip, and he steps away from him.

"Ragnar, what is going on?"

"I don't know how to do this," Ragnar admits. "I am nervous, and when I get nervous, I mess things up."

"Mess what up? I don't understand…"

"I am in love with you, Athelstan," Ragnar blurts out. "And I want to be with you. Not just as we are now, where we… where we have sex, and we enjoy each other's company, but we…" Ragnar struggles to find the words, but by the pained look on his face, Athelstan understands what he is trying to say.

"You want to know where we stand, now that your relationship with Lagertha is over."

"Yes."

"I don't know," Athelstan admits. "I didn't think we could ever be more than friends, so I have always tried to keep myself from getting in too deep."

"So you don't…"

"Love you?" Athelstan suggests, and Ragnar gives a nervous nod. "Of course I love you, Ragnar. You know I do."

"But?"

"But you have to see it from my point of view. I was nothing more than just…," Athelstan looks over his shoulder, to make sure no one has come out into the garden, to overhear their conversation. "I was nothing more than someone you brought into your relationship for a bit of fun, for sex. I wasn't… This was never supposed to be about love. So I don't know how to feel, now that Lagertha is gone. If we were to try to be something more, then maybe…"

"You think you are a second choice? I only want to be with you because Lagertha has left me? Is that it?" Ragnar asks. "Because that is not true. I told you, months ago, that I wanted to be with you. Or I tried to tell you, but…"

"I know," Athelstan quickly says. "But all of this, it is all new to me, Ragnar. I have only ever been in one relationship before. And that was with someone who was married. So this…"

"We can take it slow."

"I just don't want to ruin what we have now," Athelstan admits. "Why do we have to change anything?"

"We don't," Ragnar says, as he steps up to him. He places a hand on the side of his neck, and flashes a small smile. "We can go on as we are, if that is what you want."

"It is."

"And I will build you your shed," Ragnar adds, the smile on his face turning mischievous. "Unless you prefer to stay with us."

"I…"

"Where it's warm, and dry… where we have a kitchen, a bathroom…"

"Stop it."

"Stay with us, please."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Ragnar laughs, before placing a quick kiss on the younger man's lips. He pulls him closer, but just as Athelstan wraps his arms around him, someone comes out into the garden, and they quickly step away from each other.

"There's someone here to see you."

"Who?"

"She says her name is Judith."

"Judith?" Athelstan asks, the colour draining from his face in an instant. The woman gives a nod, before going back into the centre.

"Do you think…"

"Let's see," Ragnar says, and without saying another word, he leads Athelstan into the centre, where they find a woman and a teenager waiting for them.

"Judith? What are you doing here?" Athelstan asks, visibly shaking. Ragnar knows he didn't think he would ever see his ex again, so for her to be here again, after all these years, it is like seeing a ghost.

"You are difficult to find, Athelstan," Judith says, a nervous smile on her face. "But ehm…"

Ragnar looks at the teenager, and it takes him a moment to understand what is happening, but when he looks the boy in the eyes, he realises. But by the look on Athelstan's face, he can tell that he doesn't have a clue yet.

"What is wrong?"

"This is Alfred," Judith says, and the boy sticks out a hand. Athelstan shakes it, a polite smile on his face. "Your son," Judith then adds, and for a moment, Ragnar thinks Athelstan is about to be sick. But then he looks back at the boy, to see if he can read the truth on his face. But he can't, and a panic can be seen on his face.

"He…"

"Is yours, Athelstan."

"How old are you?" Ragnar asks.

"Fourteen, sir."

"Fourteen," Athelstan repeats, and he gives a little nod.

"Why didn't you tell him fourteen years ago? Why now?" Ragnar asks, and the woman raises an eyebrow.

"And who are you?"

"Ragnar. Ragnar Lothbrok."

"He is my partner," Athelstan explains, and the fact that Athelstan acknowledges him as his partner, even after the conversation they have just had, it makes Ragnar feel a flutter in his stomach. But right now it isn't important, so he tries to ignore it, and he looks back at Judith.

"Your… you and him…"

"Yes," Ragnar says, before looking at the teenager, who is staring down at his feet, an uncomfortable look on his face. "Look, nothing against you, kid. But here you are, after all these years, claiming…"

"My husband and I looked after Alfred all these years," Judith explains. "But my husband passed away last year, and I can't deal with him anymore, okay? Do you have any idea how much work it is to look after a teenager?"

"We do," Athelstan says, not even trying to hide his anger.

"You have children?" Judith asks.

"We have five. So we know how much work it is," Ragnar spits out. "But you want to abandon him? With people he doesn't even know?"

"With his father," Judith says, the boy still staring down at his feet.

"Who is a stranger to him. You are willing to abandon your own son?" Ragnar asks. "What is wrong with you?"

"You don't know me. You have no idea…"

"He is your son!"

"He is Athelstan's son too."

"You…," Ragnar spits out, as he steps up to Judith, but then he stops himself, because he has never raised a hand to a woman, and he will not do it today either. But he can feel the rage burning inside of him, because he would do anything for his children, and the thought of this woman dumping her son with strangers, simply because she is tired of taking care of him, it infuriates him.

"Please, mister Lothbrok," Alfred says, his voice small and scared. "If you don't want me here, I can find somewhere else to live."

"You're Athelstan's son, you're family. Of course you can stay here. I'm just…"

"He just doesn't understand your mother's behaviour. That is all," Athelstan explains, and the boy nods. "But of course you are welcome to stay with us."

"Good. I have his things in my car," Judith says, and both men look at her, dumbstruck at this new announcement. "Can I bring them in?"

"You can't just…"

"What? I won't be taking him home again."

"Judith, please," Athelstan tries, but the woman has already walked off. The teenager is left standing there, uncomfortable and nervous, and both men are not quite sure what to do or say. Because only moments ago, they hadn't even known of his existence.

"I…," Athelstan tries, and the boy looks up at him.

"It's okay. I know she didn't tell you about me."

"I would have been there for you, if I had known."

"That's okay."


"Who's that?" Sigurd asks, when Ragnar and Athelstan come home later that day with Alfred.

"This is Alfred."

"And?"

"He is Athelstan's son," Ragnar explains. "He will be staying with us for a while."

"Your son?" Sigurd asks. "I didn't know you had one!"

"Neither did he," Ragnar admits. "We have only just found out about Alfred, so… it's going to take us a moment to figure all this out. So we are going to need your help, alright?"

"Don't worry," Sigurd says, as he jumps up from the couch. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Sigurd."

"Alfred."

"Is he staying in Hvitserk's room?"

"Yes, so…," Ragnar begins, but before he can even finish his sentence, his son has picked up one of the bags.

"Come on, I'll take you to your room. It used to be Hvitserk's room. Hvitserk is my older brother. But he lives with my mum now, and my other brother, Ivar. Wait, how old are you…"

"At least Sigurd is excited," Ragnar laughs, as he wraps his arms around Athelstan, who is still in shock about what has just happened. "Are you okay?"

"I had no idea! If I had known…"

"I know. And he knows."

"She should have told me, Ragnar. Fourteen years…"

"You will get to know him now."

"I've never been a father," Athelstan whispers, making sure the boys don't overhear him. "How do I know what to do?"

"You have been like a parent to my boys for nearly a year, Athelstan. You know what to do. And if you mess up… I'm sure it'll be fine. You've got all of us to look out for him too."

"But what if…"

"He'll be fine, Athelstan."


"How are you settling in?" Athelstan asks, as he goes into Hviterk's old room, which had been his room for a while, which will be his son's room now.

"Fine. Thank you."

"I know it's a massive change, and all of this is… I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, Alfred," Athelstan admits. "What your mother did…"

"I know she loves me."

"But what she did wasn't right. You do know that, don't you?"

"I know. But I forgive her for it. She needs time for herself, so…," the teenager shrugs, staring down at his feet, and Athelstan can't help but smile at his kind demeanour.

"I am glad you are here though. I want to get to know you, Alfred."

"Thank you."

"What is it?" Athelstan asks, when he sees his son opening his mouth, but hesitating to speak.

"What do I call you? And what do I call mister Lothbrok?"

"Well, you can call him Ragnar," Athelstan laughs. "And ehm… what do you want to call me?"

"I'm not sure."

"Do you want to call me by my name?"

"I'd like to call you 'father'," the boy admits, a nervous look on his face. But Athelstan can feel a warmth going through his body when he hears the words, and he is unable to hide the smile on his face.

"Then 'father' it is."


"How do you even know he is Athelstan's son?" Ivar asks. "She just rocks up after fourteen years and claims some kid is his? He could be anyone's."

"He is Athelstan's son," Ragnar says, shooting his son an angry glare.

"Do you have proof of that?"

"If you don't keep your mouth shut, I will…"

"What?" Ivar asks. "We're all thinking it."

"No, we are not," Ubbe sighs. "You are just trying to get in dad's head."

"Well, maybe just a little. But I still don't trust him, or his mother."

"They remind you of anyone?" Torvi asks, and Ragnar struggles to keep his laughter in.

"Oh, shut up!" Ivar spits out, before picking up his crutches and leaving the table.

"Is Athelstan okay?"

"He's still getting used to the idea that he has a son, but… the kid seems to be settling in well. Sigurd is treating him like a little brother." Ragnar smiles to himself, as he looks over to the two teenagers, who are sitting by the fire, most likely discussing one of their video games.

"What if his mother comes back?" Torvi asks.

"That's what I'm worried about," Ragnar admits. "That she's just going to show up one day and drag him away."

"Do you think she'll allow Athelstan to still see him?"

"I doubt it."

"I will fight her for him," Athelstan says, and they all look up. They hadn't realised he had come out into the garden, that he was listening in on their conversation. "She is not getting him back."

"She is his mother."

"I don't care. He is my son," Athelstan says, a determined look on his face. "What she did…"

"She doesn't deserve to be his mother," Ragnar says, and the other man agrees. "He seems happy here."

"Thank you, for…," Athelstan begins, but the two teenagers come up to the table, still laughing and chatting away. "What are you two up to?"

"Can Alfred come with me to the meeting tonight?"

"Sure, but… what about Halfdan?"

"He has to work tonight," Sigurd explains. "And Alfred wants to come with me."

"Sure. Go grab your things, then I'll take you," Ragnar says, and the teenagers quickly disappear into the house.

Athelstan follows them, and goes up to his son's room.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Of course."

"These meetings…," Athelstan begins, and his son flashes a shy smile. "Has Sigurd told you…?"

"Yes, of course."

"Alfred, I… I hope you won't get upset with me for asking, but… are you…?"

"Am I gay?" Alfred asks, and his father nods. "I'm not. But I had never met a gay person before I moved here. Then I found out that my father was in a relationship with a man, Sigurd is gay… to me this is all new," the teenager explains. "and I don't want to get things wrong. So when Sigurd told me about these meetings…"

"You want to go there to learn."

"Yes."

"You know you can always ask me or Ragnar anything if you have questions, don't you?" Athelstan asks, and his son nods. "Or Halfdan, Bjorn's best friend…"

"I know, but…," the boy begins, but when he sees the smile on his father's face, he stops. "What? Have I said the wrong thing?"

"No, I am just proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yes," Athelstan laughs. "Come here," he says, and he pulls his son into a big hug. "Don't ever let anyone change you, okay?"

"I won't."


When Athelstan had left for work this morning, Ragnar had been out in the garden. He had been sitting in the grass, staring out at the roses, a blank stare on his face. Athelstan had ignored it, assuming he had simply been tired, with all the changes that had gone on lately. But he has just come back from work, and Ragnar is still there, still staring at the roses.

"Has he been there all day?"

"Yeah," Ubbe says. "Just leave him."

"But he…"

"Leave him!" Ubbe snaps, and Athelstan looks at him, a surprised look on his face. "Don't you know what day it is?"

"No… what… has something happened?"

"It's the anniversary of our sister's death," Sigurd explains. "He is always like this on the anniversary."

"I had no idea. I am so sorry. Are you okay?"

"We didn't know her." Ubbe shrugs, but there is a sadness in his eyes, and his brother looks at him, trying to keep strong. But Athelstan can see that they are struggling, and when Ubbe opens up his arms, his little brother gives him a big hug, unable to keep fighting his tears.

"Just let him be," Ubbe says, and Athelstan nods, before looking out at the garden, where Ragnar is still staring out at the roses.


It's now long after midnight, and the boys are fast asleep. But Athelstan is still up, still worrying about Ragnar, who is still out in the garden. He wants to give him his space, but he is worried, so he goes out, and sits down beside Ragnar, who looks at him, with bloodshot eyes.

"Ubbe told me what day it is."

"I can't stop wondering what she would have grown up to be like," Ragnar admits. "What she would look like…"

"I don't know what to say."

"I know," Ragnar sighs. "There is nothing to say, is there?"

"Is it okay if I pray for her?" Athelstan asks, but Ragnar just stares at him. "If you don't want me to…"

"How can you believe in a God, Athelstan?"

"Because I have to."

"Why?"

"I…," Athelstan begins, but then he stops, and he looks down at the grass. "I just have to," he eventually says.

"I have had to watch my little girl die, Athelstan," Ragnar whispers. "She… she was just a baby. She was innocent."

"I know."

"And Lagertha, she still suffers every day. She tries to hide it, but I can see it in her eyes. The memory of that day, it is…," Ragnar continues, but the tears start falling from his eyes, and he has to stop.

"What happened to you, it is…"

"If there is a God, why did he kill my little girl, huh?" Ragnar asks, but Athelstan doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. "How am I supposed to believe in a God, when he took Gyda away from us?"

"I don't know, Ragnar."

"I respect your choice to believe, I do, but I will never be able to believe in him, Athelstan, not after what he put my family through."

A long silence follows, and Athelstan feels like he should apologise to Ragnar, but apologise for what? For his faith? For being here? For having said something? But before he can think of something to say, it is Ragnar who breaks the silence.

"I sometimes feel like I traded her life for the life of my boys," he admits, but Athelstan doesn't understand. "If she hadn't died, I wouldn't have met Aslaug, and I wouldn't have had my boys."

"So you…"

"I had to give her up, in order to have the boys."

"No, Ragnar! That is not… Don't you dare think like that," Athelstan says, and he wraps his arms around him. "You didn't give up on her. You are a good father, do you hear me?"

"I miss her."

"I know," Athelstan whispers, as he strokes the back of Ragnar's neck, trying to calm him down. "I know."