Here's a parody based on the episode-The Abrasive Side
Suggested by Darthwill3. Credit goes to him for the story idea.
Lincoln was excited for today. His friend Ronnie Anne was visiting Royal Woods, and they both planned on hanging out at Dairyland. He came across Lori in the hallway, who was holding a basket full of clothes.
"Hey twerp, where are you going?"
"I've got a play date with Ronnie Anne. I'm meeting her for an exciting day at Dairyland." Lincoln shows her the tickets. "I got tickets. I promised Ronnie Anne we'd be the first ones to ride the Milk Shaker."
"Hmm, interesting stuff. Say, can you do me a favor? I need you to do my laundry."
"Why can't you do it?"
"Bobby's in town and I've got a special date with him."
"But I planned on going to Dairyland with...uh…"
Lori gave Lincoln a stern stare. He sighs. "Okay, I'll do it."
"Thanks." She passes the laundry to her brother and leaves.
In the basement, Lincoln is waiting for Lori's laundry to get done in the washing machine as he's reading a comic book. The laundry is now finished.
"Finally."
He then gets a phone call from Ronnie Anne and answers.
"Hey Ronnie Anne..." He said nervously.
"Where are you, lame-o?" Ronnie Anne said, unhappy. "Bobby already dropped me off at Dairyland and you promised we'd be the first to ride the Milk Shaker!"
"I know, but I had something else to do first. I can still make it to Dairyland."
"Well, okay. I'll see you there, I guess."
"See ya." Lincoln hangs up. Then Lana comes downstairs.
"Hey Lincoln, I need your help."
"Gee Lana, I'd love to help. But I planned on hanging out with Ronnie Anne."
"But this is an emergency!" Lana begged. "Lincoln, pleeaase?!"
"Oh, okay. I guess I'll catch Ronnie Anne after."
Lincoln helped Lana clean out the mess from under her bed, as he was helping her look for something. He took out a moldy pizza, much to his disgust.
"You found my leftover pizza!" Lana took a bite out of it and Lincoln looked like he was gonna barf.
Lincoln headed for the front door. "Dairyland, here I come."
Luna came to him. "Hey lil bro, you've gotta help me! I need you to label these CD albums for my music class while I get my guitar fixed." She shows her broken guitar.
"But Luna, today's my day off!"
"Come on dude, please help me out here!" Luna pleaded. Lincoln couldn't seem to refuse and gave in to Luna's request.
"Okay, fine."
We see Lincoln labeling CD albums, putting song titles for the right album picture. Then he was finished.
"Phew, I'm done. Now I gotta go!" Lincoln rushed downstairs, and ran into his mother.
"Sweetie, can you help me out? I threw my back out and I need someone to carry these boxes full of my novels."
Lincoln just couldn't say no to his mother and sighed. "Sure, Mom."
"Thank you. I'd really appreciate it."
Lincoln saw two boxes and lifted one, but struggled to hold it. "Man, this is heavy."
Lincoln was finally on his way to Dairyland. "I'm almost to Dairyland!"
Ronnie Anne comes out of Dairyland, wearing an udder hat and holding an udder shaped balloon.
"Oh man, that was the best time I've ever had!" She said excitedly. Lincoln comes up to her. Ronnie Anne looks at him suspiciously. "Oh, hello Lincoln. Did you enjoy not going to Dairyland with me?"
"Oh, Ronnie Anne, I tried, how I tried! But everyone needed my help, and I-uh…"
"You need to learn to say "no". Stand up for yourself! Be abrasive, like me. Anyway, I'm going to the arcade."
Ronnie Anne left frustrated. Lincoln thought about what she had said.
"Ronnie Anne's right. I need to learn to say no more often. And I think I know the right sister who can help me out."
In Lisa and Lily's room, Lisa was working on a new experiment. Lincoln enters the room to talk to the four year old.
"Hey Lisa."
Lisa turns to Lincoln. "Greetings older brother unit. Do you require assistance?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if you had something that would make me abrasive."
"It's a coincidence that you mentioned that, because I've been working on a new pill called "The Abrasion". But it's in the experimental stages."
"Well, at this point, I'll do anything to be a new kid."
"Even if it means being my lab rat?"
Lincoln hesitated, but agreed. "Yes."
"Excellent. Let the human trial commence!"
Lincoln had to act like an actual rat, as he ran on an exercise wheel. The wheel was used to add power to a machine.
"Operation slushie is a success!" Lisa said satisfied. She drank her slushie. "Very good Lincoln. You may cease now."
Lincoln stopped running and got off the wheel. "Can I try that pill now?"
"Certainly." Lisa gave him the pill. He swallowed it and felt a weird feeling in his body.
"Huh. I don't feel any different. Are you sure this thing works?" Then his hair turned green and he grew a thick unibrow. He spoke in an abrasive tone. "Why don't ya scram you four eyed freeloader?"
His hair turns white again and Lincoln blinks. Then it turned green again. "Pfft! Nerd."
He turns back to normal. "See ya, Lisa." Lisa looks surprised as Lincoln leaves the room.
"I've got a bad feeling about this." Lisa said to herself.
Lincoln does a happy dance while walking off. "I've got an abrasive side and now I can say-"
"No." Abrasive Lincoln said.
Lincoln walked downstairs where he saw Leni with two outfits.
"Hey Lincoln, would you mind being my fashion model?"
"Get someone else, Dollface." Abrasive Lincoln said. He walked away.
"Lincoln." Lucy appeared, causing Lincoln to scream. "I'm not sure if I've done this poem right. You think you can give it a quick review?"
Lincoln's abrasive side came back. "I won't need to. It's obvious you're not writing it in your own blood."
Lincoln leaves.
"My own blood?" Lucy said. "Hm...not a bad idea."
Lincoln walked into the kitchen to get a snack. His father was cooking.
"Hey Dad."
"Hey son."
"I got myself an abrasive side now."
"That's nice, Lincoln. Would you help find my special spoon?"
Lincoln's abrasive side spoke. "That's cute, Pops. But why don't you find it yourself?"
He walked away. Lynn Sr. looked in a cabinet and saw a bunch of spoons in there, and they all looked the same.
"This could take a while."
In the living room, Lincoln flips through the channels on TV. Lynn jumps on the couch.
"Yo Lincoln, I need a sparring partner! Now!" She tugs on his arm. Abrasive Lincoln shoves her aside.
"No way, ya brainless jock! I've got better things to do than be your punching bag!"
"Brainless? You're gonna regret saying that." Lynn walks off. Then Luan comes up to Lincoln, wearing her clown costume.
"There you are. Lincoln, I have a "clowns only" birthday gig and I need you as my assistant."
"Oh, I'd love-" Normal Lincoln started to say but his abrasive side took over again. "Sorry Boss. I'm busy! Unless you're paying me for real, this time...And that includes back pay from Day 1."
"Back pay?" Luan questioned. "Back...pay?"
Luan goes on the internet and searches through her Funny Business' finances and the number of times Lincoln has worked as her assistant. She put it all together and...well, it wasn't to her liking. She panicked.
"Filthy, disgusting word!"
Lincoln was in his room, fixing his model airplane. Suddenly, Lola barged in.
"Lincoln! I need a butler for my tea party! And by butler, I mean you."
Lincoln became abrasive again. "Buzz off twerp! I wouldn't be your butler for all the money Dad earns at his restaurant!"
He slammed the door in Lola's face. Lola was stunned. "Never thought I'd hear those words from Lincoln."
Clyde arrives at the Loud house to visit his best buddy. He knocks and Lincoln answers the door.
"Hey Lincoln, you're right on time for our play date!"
"Oh boy, I can't wait…"
Lincoln's abrasive side takes over. "-to ditch you…"
Normal Lincoln- "cause you're my best friend…"
Abrasive Lincoln- "so beat it, four eyes! I don't care for your company!"
Normal Lincoln- "Well, Clyde, are you ready for some fun?"
"I don't know!" Clyde said, confused. He cries and runs off.
"That's odd." Lincoln said, who was completely oblivious. He went inside the house and looked in the mirror. "I wonder what's wrong with Clyde."
He turns into Abrasive Lincoln again. "Don't you remember? We told that afro haired freak to beat it! In fact, we've already insulted your rotten sisters, and they won't hang out with you because they all hate you, Mr. Stinkoln Loud!"
The abrasive side laughs evilly as normal Lincoln sees him in the mirror. Lincoln panics and runs after Clyde. "Oh no! Clyde! Clyde! Clyde! Clyde!
He catches up to his friend.
"Yes?" Clyde said sadly. "May I help you?"
"Yes Clyde, help me get rid of my abrasive side! You'll help me, won't you buddy?"
"I don't know. Are we buddies?"
"Clyde, you know the answer to that is-"
"-No!" Abrasive Lincoln said. "Why would I wanna be friends with a loser who can't get over my oldest sister?"
Clyde tears up. Lynn, overhearing this, runs after the poor crying "four eyes". She gives Lincoln the "What is wrong with you you little jerk" glance as she comforts Clyde.
"It's okay, Clyde."
"I'm (sniffs) so confused, Lynn." Clyde said as he and Lynn walked away. Lincoln runs away. Back at the house, Luan is still thinking about what Lincoln said to her earlier. Lincoln runs over to her.
"Luan! Luan!"
Luan gasps. "What do you want, Mr. Foulmouth?"
"But Luan, I would never use immoderate language like-"
"Back pay!" Abrasive Lincoln said, snapping his finger.
Luan screams in shock. "Don't talk to me until you've washed that poop deck of yours!" She laughs. "Get it? But seriously, don't talk to me."
Luan walks off.
"But Luan-"
Then Ronnie Anne walks over. "Hey Lincoln-"
"Ronnie Anne, please help me! Lisa gave me this abrasion pill so I could be more assertive."
Abrasive Lincoln takes over again. "Hey, sweetheart!"
"Sweetheart?!" Ronnie Anne said angrily.
Normal Lincoln- "And now, it's taken over!"
Abrasive Lincoln- "Quiet, you!"
Normal Lincoln- "I can't take it anymore! It's like a...a virus!"
"Well, why'd you want to go and do a dangful thing like that for?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"Well, I just couldn't say-"
Abrasive Lincoln- "No!"
Normal Lincoln- "To my family. So I got this abrasive side to help change my personality."
Ronnie Anne calmed down and realized she may have been overly critical on Lincoln. "Look Lincoln, I came here to say I shouldn't have been so judgemental about you. It's not your fault. It's just that you have to deal with a lot that's going on in your big family. I may have a similar issue with my family, but not to your extent. Besides, I like you just the way you are."
Lincoln smiles, pleased that Ronnie Anne still liked him for who he was. Then he realized something. "Hey, I think the pill wore off. I feel normal again. I guess it had a side effect or something, like it was no longer needed."
"Well, good riddance." Ronnie Anne said.
"Yeah. Now I have to make things up with Clyde and my dad."
Lincoln's father is in the kitchen, chopping onions. Lincoln comes in.
"Hey, Dad? Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. So what do you say? Can we discuss forgiveness over a plate of your famous Lynn-sagna."
"Oh, Lincoln, I would love to whip that up for you right after you…"
Lynn Sr. turns around as his hair turns green and he has a thick unibrow. "Make your own Lynn-sagna! I'm busy!"
Thunder flashes. We cut to the exterior of the house and Lincoln lets out a long yell.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
