A/N More about Aizawa here and the next few chapters.
This fic is going to get very dark very quickly. Any sensitive subjects will be marked with warnings. This will include suicidal thoughts, drugs, sexual assault etc. We have all been through or have heard stories from friends and family about any of those topics. I have personally dealt with those issues and I've found that writing about it has helped me cope. I have no intentions of triggering anyone and I hope my readers will understand! I will have a few chapters strictly for comic relief cause it's going to be needed! This is the halfway point as of right now! Thank you for checking this chapter out and I hope you like it!
Her Peace
Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night
Catch me, I'm the one on the run away from the headlights
No sleep, up all week wasting time with people- I don't like
I think, something's fucking wrong with me
~I think I'm OKAY: MGK, YUNGBLUD, & Travis Barker~
~3 Months Later, 1 day before the Forest Arc~
Shinsou pulled his violet hair in frustration. He messed up big time. All he wanted was to be a Hero. He hated the disillusion that his quirk was somehow "evil." They said the same thing about the Silver Sorceress and all she did was save countless kids' lives by removing them from abusive homes. He hated how hypocritical humanity was.
And what did he do to thank one of the few heroes he admired? He brainwashed her boyfriend into cheating on her. Why?
Because some yakuza punk threatened him. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was only passing by Ms. Joke's block party to see if it lived up to the Outburst user's hype when he ran into a man with a thick coat, a lean suit, and a face covered by a festive, plague doctor mask.
The man seemed to know what his quirk was since he targeted him specifically for the request. The yakuza leader insisted that he would wipe out the entire guest list if Shinsou didn't do as he instructed—separate Ginsui and Aizawa. Shinsou did what any decent person would do; he opted to save over fifty lives instead of keeping two lovebirds happy.
The Sports Festival alerted Aizawa of his talents, so the teacher started to go out of his way to help him. Now, he was stuck facing his guilt daily.
"I hope it's not too much hassle for you to come out this way. I'm afraid the only spares I had were in my closet," the teacher interrupted the boy's train of thought as he handed him a scarf.
"Yeah, it's no trouble," Shinsou lazily replied.
He was grateful for the combat help, but did it have to be with Mr. Aizawa? He glanced around the living room. Three cats watched him as he studied a wall full of pictures.
"I haven't talked myself into taking them down yet. I keep thinking she'll come back soon," Aizawa explained as he caught the General Studies student scanning the photos of Gini.
"I can't say I blame you. She's pretty cool. I once tried to use my quirk on her and she didn't have to kick me out because I couldn't even get in. She outwitted me."
"I bet she teased you mercilessly after you tried that. You two have similar powers of manipulation and neither of you wanted to use that negatively. She related to you more than the rest of us. She would have been a great coach for you. I'm sorry she's not here to help."
"Mr. Aizawa, where did she go? My classmates think she got hurt during the USJ invasion, but I don't even think she was at work that day. The principal never made an announcement about her quitting or anything like that either."
"She has a personal mission she needs to take care of. When it's finished, I'm not sure she'll be able to come back."
"Did it have anything to do with the USJ incident?"
Aizawa paused, "It goes back further than that."
"Is she going to be okay?"
"I don't really know, kid. I can only hope."
"Mr. Aizawa...there's something I need to tell you."
How many weeks had it been now? Or was it several months at this point? Time was hard to keep up with when the Silver Sorceress found herself in a constant state of alarm in a pit of villains.
The League had acquired quite a few members. She played a big part in helping Shigaraki decide on who to keep and who to toss aside thanks to her quirk. She was able to keep Sir Nighteye aware of current events the more involved she was too.
There was only one member that she didn't have any say-so in joining and that was Twice. She knew she would encounter him sooner or later but was surprised by how tolerant he was of her. Honestly, she liked all but two: Moonfish and Muscular. She didn't even learn their real names. Their auras were enough to make her sick, so she spent as much time away from them as she could.
Dabi, on the other hand, never had any issues tolerating all the recruits regardless of their real intentions.
This raised some red flags that she dutifully ignored. So Dabi had no problem hanging out with genuinely bad people, okay. She didn't really care, did she? She wasn't going to be here that much longer to deal with the consequences, right?
All he did lately was smother her with affection. How could she think poorly of him when all he wanted was the sweet bliss her quick could give him? He used her like she had once used Aizawa.
She didn't mind though. The way his bright, blue eyes inhaled her made it worth the exhaustion. God, that man's need for her was beautiful. She loved it whenever he would lick her collar bones, trace her rib cage, and suck on her soft flesh on his way down.
He wasn't that delicate anymore though. His fingertips would dig into her now and his hesitant lips were replaced with skin-piercing bites. She was still trying to figure out the gradual change in temperament. Had she done something wrong?
The closer they became, the more they started to argue. Where ZaZa had been tolerant and patient, Dabi was easily agitated and assertive. The League members knew something was wrong when the Cremation user began to plan a mission and forbade them to talk to her about it.
Gini knew something was going down, but she hadn't figured it out yet. The harder she pried, the farther she got from getting the answer.
Her hormones were getting a little out of whack since she was constantly straining her quirk. The imbalance in her brain made her and more irritable, discontent, and sick. She had thrown up twice that day from the vertigo.
The longer she stayed in the hellhole, the longer she was ready to get the hell out and go back to her lemon-scented apartment. Maybe a certain black-haired babe would be waiting up for her. Or, maybe he finally came to terms with his hidden feelings for her cousin and was waiting up for Emi instead. She needed to know. She had physically moved on, but she needed that mental clarity too.
She started to think about Aizawa's tenderness and how she missed it. Dabi's over-protectiveness (re: possessiveness) was getting a bit out of hand and she needed to put him back in his place soon. Her hips, thighs, and shoulders were bruised from his intense sexing for goodness sake.
To keep herself from overthinking, she welcomed the distraction of playing Just Dance with the only other females in the League's arsenal.
"Shiggy, how much longer until I can go see All for One?" Ginsui asked in between breaths as she danced around the living room with Toga and Magne.
"There's something big in the works right now. After that, I'll arrange a meeting for you," Tomura answered in annoyance. He scratched at his neck.
How many times was he going to have to repeat this mantra? Why couldn't Dabi just tell her that he was working out a way to piss Aizawa off? Was he really that afraid of hurting her feelings?
"Gin-Gin teach me that dance that American women are so good at!" Toga voiced.
"You're not talking about twerking are you?" Gini giggled.
"YES! That's the one! Show me!"
"You kind of have to have a butt, you know what I mean?"
"And you have one! You're like the only person I know that can do it! Hey, Shigaboss, can you hand me some money?"
Shigaraki huffed but obliged.
"The things I do to entertain you Toga. Don't judge me, Tomura."
Ginsui looked around to make sure it was just the girls and Shigaraki present before she began showing the seventeen-year-old the first step.
She continued to twerk as Toga and Big Sis Magne cheered her on by tossing the bills at her.
Shigaraki laughed maniacally. He was surrounded by idiots. At least they were happy being stupid. It made getting them to work a whole lot easier.
"So, what is this big plan everyone has been so keen to keep from me?" Gini asked as she touched her toes and changed the fast pacing movement to slower jerks on her way back up.
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," Dabi answered as he, Spinner, Kurogiri, and Twice entered. Her lover raised an eyebrow before pulling money out and tossing it at her too.
Ginsui blushed and sat straight down onto the pile of cash in a panic, the memories of stripping with Midnight resurfaced. She couldn't believe she let Toga talk her into behaving like that.
"What do you mean?" She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest to regain some sort of control.
"I mean that you're not involved, so don't try to be," he retorted harshly.
There it is again. That attitude, she thought bitterly.
"Come show me more," he demanded as he reached out to pull on her shirt and lead them to their shared room.
She pushed his hand away and moved halfway across the room without thinking about how it would set him off. His mouth popped open as if she had slapped him. She had better back track the action or things were about to get ugly.
"Why have you been such a dick lately?" Gini smarted back. So much for keeping things from simmering.
"What did you just say to me?"
"I said what I said, zombie boy." She knew his scars were a sensitive subject. Why did she stoop to name-calling? She felt a bead of sweat trek across her forehead as a wave of nausea hit her.
The man had been getting meaner each passing day. It didn't matter how many times they fucked or how many different and experimental ways they did those things, his sharp tongue never dulled. Aizawa never acted so strongly about her.
"You want to do this now?" He growled as he prepared for the long, overdue fight he'd been suppressing.
He glared at her as she bit the inside of her cheek. Did she?
"Yeah, I do! So why are you being a little bitch?" She sassed after debating her next move.
Dabi walked towards her like a panther stalking its prey. The other League members stumbled over themselves trying to get out of the room as quickly as they could. Ginsui tightened her fists beside her and closed her eyes.
She was so sick and so tired. She could collapse right there in a heap of puke. Was this it? Was this the moment that she would see the Endeavor in him? Would he pick her up and throw her like his father had?
Once he was right in front of her, he gently took her left hand into his.
"Why are you flinching like that? Like I'm going to hurt you?"
"You... aren't?"
"Ginsui what the fuck? I could never," he frowned as he realized that his knee-jerk reaction to her getting an attitude scared her. He was not his father. Didn't she know that?
"I'm sorry for being jumpy. I've been feeling out of sorts lately. Please don't take my smart mouth personally."
"I don't. I like it when you get sassy. But, do you know what I do take personally?"
She waited, straining her ears to hear his soft tone.
"This, why do you still wear this?" He asked as he pointed at her ring. His voice cracked.
She frowned. She hadn't given it a second thought. She was so used to having it on, that she had honestly forgotten about it.
"Do you have any idea how it makes me feel when I'm giving myself to you and I look down and see his goddamn ring STILL ON YOUR FINGER? SHIT, GINI, HAVE SOME FUCKING CLASS!"
She coughed to loosen her tightening throat. She felt like a whore. She had made a vow not to cry again, so she'd better get herself together.
"I...I'm sorry. Can I be alone for a few minutes? I would like some time to think about what my actions have done to you," she finally muttered and went to their room.
He had been acting like an asshole the past few weeks and it was all because of the obvious disrespect she had shown him. She'd be pissed too if he wore a gift from another woman while climbing on top of her.
She locked the door and drug out a suitcase. She quickly began to pack it.
She struggled with distinguishing his feelings from her own ever since the day he "died." Due to her quirk's bizarre manifestation with the blue-flamed man, she hadn't realized how into her he was.
She took a deep breath. She had been so busy fooling around with him that she hadn't even taken the time to assess her own feelings about the fresh love. Love? The word hit her hard.
She was falling. She gasped. She was falling for the Todoroki.
This was never part of the plan. Dabi wasn't part of the plan!
She was supposed to infiltrate the League, give up her quirk to All for One, kill him while he succumbed to the horrible burden of empathy, and then go back to Aizawa and talk about them.
She heard the way Emi talked about her ex-fiancé at the Sports Festival. Was it true? Had he moved on that quickly? She had.
Her heart was splitting. This type of idiotic triangle happened to teenagers. How the hell did this happen to her NOW?
She couldn't wait for Tomura to give her the okay anymore. She needed to leave and find All Might's archenemy herself and avoid Dabi and the League altogether. Run away like she always did. Run, run, run away.
Then there would still be the yakuza. If she did accomplish her main purpose of ridding the world of All for One, she still had those fucking clowns to deal with.
**** Warning****
Her thoughts started to darken as she comprehended how deep the trouble was that she was swimming in. Her parents had been smart to off themselves. Maybe she should simply opt out of this life and try to do better next time?
It didn't help that she hadn't had a dose of Aizawa's Erasure in months. How else was she going to get her peace?
There were plenty of guns in this sleaze house. She dug one out of her desk drawer and held it up to her head.
All she needed to do was pull the trigger.
Stop it, she scolded herself before removing the magazine and emptying the bullets. They clanked to the ground as she slammed the hollow gun back into the desk.
****Safe****
Dabi's knocking on the door brought her out of her suicidal thoughts. Maybe she should go to a doctor for help.
She took one last glance at the beautiful opal before removing it. She stuffed it along with the agency's phone she used for her communication with Sir Nighteye under the clothes she had just packed.
She'd be a goner if the LOV ever found that device. Most would say it was reckless to keep around so loosely, but shit. Part of her wanted to be caught so she could die.
Death would be a sweet release.
Why was she being so dramatic? Was she losing control over her abilities due to the overuse?
She was so tired.
And so nauseous.
She leaned over and puked into the wastebasket beside her. The mental strain from too much use couldn't be enough. No, why not add physical harm too?
"Ginibaby, can we talk now?" The stapled man asked from behind the door.
He was getting concerned. Magne had secretly been filling him in on how often his girl was vomiting lately. He swore he had heard the sound of a gun being cocked. What was that clinking noise? Did she drop something? Were those bullets?!
Ginsui knew that if she replied that it would make what she was about to do harder. She took a deep breath to gather the strength she needed to run. A few minutes later, he opened the door and found the room empty and the window open.
He'd be hurt, but she couldn't say goodbye. He wasn't the type to let her go so easily. She desperately needed solitude. Would he think that she was only there to get back at the League for what they did to Aizawa?
Secretly, she no longer wanted revenge. She was lying to herself if she said she had. She knew she had stayed complacent in a den of vipers because she liked the taste of Dabi's love.
Would he understand that he wasn't safe when her quirk control wavered every other day?
Would he understand that she ran because she was too afraid to acknowledge how easily she fell for him? How easily she, a sensible woman, succumbed to the battered man with a damaged past and darkening soul?
She was so unwell. She was so tired.
She needed a pill, a shot, a something to numb her quirk long enough to get a few nights of sleep. She needed to be rid of the suicidal torment. She needed an eraser.
"Zawa, Roki?" The doctor asked. Ginsui smiled as her made-up name was called. It made her feel witty and terrible all at the same time. She would be well enough soon.
The female doctor checked over her as she asked routine questions.
"You're here for therapeutic help? You'd be surprised by how many heroes we get needing anti-depressants. Have you taken any before?"
"No, but I probably should have started on them a long time ago."
"I understand. It's hard asking for help. Us girls have to be so strong all the time, it's exhausting. Speaking of women, your breasts feel a bit swollen. When was your last menstrual cycle?"
The sudden change of topic caught Gini off guard. Toga had mentioned her tits getting bigger the other day but she didn't think anything of it.
"... maybe ten-ish weeks ago? It's not uncommon for me to miss one though. It's a side effect of my quirk."
"Have you been using your quirk more than usual?"
"I usually only use it when lives are at stake. But, I've found myself in a certain...predicament...that forced me to use it in large amounts regularly for the past twelve weeks or so."
She took Ginsui's hint. She had worked with several ladies who were undercover, but that didn't change the fact that this particular patient had obviously gotten too close with a "suspect." She noticed the suitcase sitting beside the examination table. Was she done with the mission now?
"So about twelve weeks ago you started exerting more power? I see. Research for the past five years have shown that extensive quirk use can alter the body's chemical makeup. If you were told that you would have trouble having children, then it's possible that upping how often you use your quirk could have corrected your reproductive system thanks to the odd imbalances of your brain morphing."
"Oh," Gini mumbled uncomfortably.
"Are you on or are you taking any contraceptives?" The doctor asked.
"No..." Gini was one-hundred percent sure Dabi hadn't used any protection.
It had been the start of one of their numerous disagreements. He had scoffed at her when she asked him to use a condom. She wasn't some random hoe he was banging, so how dare she act like he should be safe he had stated; especially after she mentioned her being sterile.
Stupid Dabi. Stupid her for assuming things and letting him have his way. Wait...she had been with Aizawa unprotected too before she left him. Oh no.
The doctor blinked in concern as she continued to examine the young lady. She didn't overlook the bruises and hickies littering her patient's skin. Her target was that type, huh?
"Here, take this cup. I'll need a urine sample. I need to make sure you're not pregnant before I prescribe you something that could be harmful to the fetus."
Ginsui took the cup with a sour look on her face. When she entered the bathroom, she noticed that she could place her cup in a basket for women who needed help or into a basket for women who were fine. It was refreshing to see that an office like this would look out for desperate girls.
The doctor sighed in relief when she gathered the sample from the 'okay' basket. Maybe the woman had a rough kink or something. Ten minutes later, she confirmed her professional opinion.
"Congratulations, Ms. Roki! You're pregnant!"
"No."
"Yes."
"The answer is no," Gini argued, her tone raising a pitch.
"Ma'am, there is very much a little blob of cells growing in you as we speak."
She wasn't losing control of her quirk. She wasn't going insane. She wasn't making herself sick or tired or extra hormonal. A baby taking root in her womb was causing all the trouble.
Ginsui spent the rest of the visit in a haze. The ultrasound suggested that she was around eight weeks along. The experience was surreal.
The pictures given to her from the session were surreal.
The conversation from the doctor explaining that she could not prescribe any anti-depressants due to the pregnancy was surreal.
Her walk to a nearby park with her six-pound suitcase was surreal.
If she could undo the past three hours of her life, she would. The vibration from her LOV phone woke her from her sleep-like trance.
Toasty Marshmallow flashed on the screen. She threw it on the ground and drug her feet over to a swing set. Kids screamed, ran, and laughed around her as she contemplated her stupidity.
She went back to the phone and decided that she needed to talk about this. It wasn't going to go away.
She skimmed through the numbers and texted Big Sis.
Within twenty minutes, Magne joined Ginsui on the swing set. Out of all the League, Gini like her the most. She was the only one that could keep a secret without blurting it out accidentally.
"Dabi was really restless when I left. I didn't tell him where I was going. As far as I know, he doesn't know I'm with you."
"Thank you, Magne."
"So, sweetie, what's going on?"
"I went to the doctor to get some medication. I haven't been feeling all that well mentally."
"We could tell."
Gini frowned. Was the League that aware of her dwindling mentality?
"I'm sorry if I made any of you miserable. I've been so exhausted that I might have lost a little control and made you guys unwell too."
"Oh honey, we baddies understand. There isn't much you could do to make us feel worse than we've felt before."
"I wasn't able to get the medication I needed Magne. Whatever I've done up until now was tame. The sicker I get, the sicker I'll make everyone else."
"I don't think the illness you have is going to affect us the way you think it is."
"What do you mean?"
"The shock on your face says it all. You have a bun in the oven," the tall woman teased.
"...how can you tell?!"
"Love, you haven't bought any tampons since I've been with the League. Luckily, Toga is too involved in her own little world to notice and none of the men would think anything of it. I'm probably the only one aware if that makes you feel any better."
"You're telling me that you have had suspicions all this time?"
"It did cross my mind a time or two. So, how are you going to tell him?"
"Huh?"
"I asked 'how are you going to tell him?' Are you going to do like a big reveal, or show him the pictures after you two are done making up, or are you going to spit it out randomly?"
"Oh, haha, I'm not telling him."
"...uh...are you just going to pretend that your soon-to-be-huge belly is because of...food?"
"He's not going to notice anything because I'm not going back. My priorities have to change. I can't raise a baby in that house of criminals!"
"You don't think we would be suitable people for a baby? We all have our demons, but some of us are still human and good people Gini! That hurts!"
"I don't want to be mean, Magne! You know you don't count. Twice, Dabi, even Kurogiri would be dependable but the others? They're firecrackers waiting to be lit!"
"Do you really think Dabi would let them touch you?! He would burn the place down along with the entire neighborhood if anyone even looked at you the wrong way."
"That's umm... sweet? And all, but Magne...what if he isn't the father?"
"Excuse me WHAT?" Magne finally lost her argument as her entire assessment of the situation changed.
"I was engaged before I met him!"
"Okay, let's not freak out yet. How far along did the doctor say you are?"
"Eight weeks."
"And how long have you been with Dabi?"
"Like...ten...eleven weeks?"
"Well obviously the Toasty Marshmallow, as your phone has him labeled, is the father," Magne advised as she watched Dabi's number light up Gini's phone.
"Riiiiight. I guess I just panicked. This still doesn't change much," Gini mumbled.
"What ever do you mean, dear?"
"I have some unfinished business I needed to take care of and now I'm not sure what I can do about it."
Magne patted the back of the somber woman's back before answering her own call.
"Yes Dabi, I lied, she is with me," she sighed and hung up as Gini's eyes stared daggers through her.
"Gini are you going to come back with me?"
"No, I'm going to stay a little longer."
"Will you at least call him back? You know how insufferable he can be when he hasn't touched you in over five minutes."
Ginsui giggled, "I'll try." A wave of evil knocked on her subconscious scope.
Before Magne could go, a tall man with eyes as yellow as the morning star approached the swings.
"Ms. Fukukado. I'm demanding payment now," he stated in a low monotone before removing a glove as warning.
"Don't you dare," Gini replied, "I'll come with you, please just don't hurt Big Sis!"
Overhaul nodded and motioned for her to follow. Gini activated her quirk on Magne so that the woman was left in a confused state. She couldn't afford her friend to attack when there were so many children around.
Kai watched Gini whisper something into Magne's ears.
"Ms. Fukukado, hurry up it's getting late. You should also leave that behind. You won't be needing those old things," Chisaki reminded her of his presence and forced her to leave her valuables behind.
She knew a grim reaper when she saw one. Yet, she couldn't make her feet stop following it down the street towards a familiar black limo.
