This chapter was requested by Jay Jay Viglirol. It's a parody based on the episode: Squeaky Boots
Today is Luan's birthday. The family is celebrating and they've given her presents. Luna is presenting her present right now, which is a rock version of the birthday song.
"Happy rockin birthday to you!"
After she finished, the family applauded.
"Thanks sis!" Luan said. "Now I have one more present to open. And this one's from Lincoln."
Lincoln smiled proudly. "Go on. Open it."
Luan opened it, and was surprised at what she saw. "Rabbit shoes!"
"That's right. I bought them online. They were one of the most popular shoes available."
"Wow. Really?"
"Why's that?" Lola asked. "Are they made out of real rabbits?"
"Lola, that's disgusting!" Lana commented.
"No, they aren't made of rabbits." Lincoln explained. "They were worn by the most famous comedians. They're official comedian shoes."
"Ooh, I can HARE-ly believe my luck!" Luan laughed at her pun.
"So I take it you like them?"
"You bet! This is the best gift I've gotten! Thanks so much Lincoln! Is there any way I can repay you?"
"I don't think...well, could you whip up one of your homemade pies?"
"I can do better! I'll make all the pies you can eat!"
"Deal!"
"Lucky." Lynn pouted.
"Yeah, I want pie!" Lola whined. The others complained.
"Okay, okay! I'll make pies for everyone!" Luan said. The family cheered.
In the kitchen, Lori, Lynn, and Lisa are eating their pies made by Luan. Luan comes in wearing her new rabbit shoes. "Hey guys, do you like my new shoes? Pretty cool, huh? Now I'm an official comedian!"
Luan jumps up and down in the shoes, making them squeak, as the others watches. Then Luan jumps harder until Lori's head bounces up and down really hard trying to keep up. Luan squeaks her shoes all around the kitchen. Lori, Lisa, and Lynn get annoyed. Lynn groans, covering her ears.
"That squeaking is literally gonna drive us all crazy!"
"I concur." Lisa agreed.
Lincoln comes in, eating his chocolate pie. "Come on guys, It's just a little squeaking. How bad could it be?"
It's nighttime. Lincoln is in his room, sleeping in bed, and imagining stuffed rabbit Bun Buns hopping one by one. He mutters in his sleep. "Bun Buns. One, two, three, four-"
All of a sudden, the pair of squeaky rabbit shoes hop into view. He opens his eyes. "Wha? Who's there?"
He rests his head back on his pillow. "Back to counting Bun Buns." He closes his eyes again and imagines Bun Buns hopping off.
"One, two, three, four, five-" The squeaky shoes appear again. Lincoln opens his eyes again. "What the heck is that?"
He sees his bedroom window opening and closing by itself, making squeaky noises. Lincoln closes his window and gets back into bed, but notices the window has opened again. He goes to close it again, but it reopens. He starts shutting it with increasing force and speed until the window finally stays closed. But then it reopens again. Fed up, Lincoln gets out scotch tape and tapes the window shut. However the tape gets stuck to Lincoln's hand. He tries to get it off but ends up wrapped in it. Also, the tape comes undone and Lincoln's window continues opening and closing while constantly making the squeaky sound. Lincoln is lying awake with bloodshot eyes, and wrapped in his bed sheets and tape as the window makes squeaky noises all night.
It's morning. Lincoln is sleeping on the kitchen floor. His mother came in and noticed him.
"Lincoln, wake up dear." His mother said. Lincoln woke up, yawning. "Why are you sleeping in the kitchen? Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine Mom. I just had a rough night. I could use a nap."
"Well, you should get some breakfast first." Rita said.
"Yeah, okay." Lincoln prepared cereal for himself and went to eat in the living room. Then the sisters (sans Luan) walked to the front door.
"Guys, where are you going?"
"We're going anywhere but here!" Lori said angrily.
"Yeah! We can't take the "world's greatest comedian" anymore!" Lola yelled.
"You just had to get Luan those squeaky shoes, Lincoln!" Lynn scolded. "Well we're not coming back until bedtime!"
And with that, the sisters leave.
"Geez." Lincoln said. "I know squeaking can be annoying, but Luan's giving us free dessert."
Luan was upstairs. "Hey Lincoln!"
"Hey Luan-an-an-an-an-an-an!" Luan walks down the stairs and every time her shoes squeak, Lincoln stutters. "Oh, I see you're still wearing those rabbit shoes."
"Are you kidding? I love them! Could the world's greatest comedian do this?" Luan runs in place while juggling balls.
"Well, I don't...uhh...I don't...uhh…"
"Or could she do this?" Luan shuffles her feet around the living room "And watch this, Lincoln!"
She moves the shoes around slightly, making them "talk". "Did you hear about the mouse who learned a new language? He now SQUEAKS Chinese."
"Could the greatest comedian do that Lincoln?"
"I, uhh…"
"And watch this, Lincoln. And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this-" Luan does many different things with her shoes while making squeaky sounds, until Lincoln can't take it anymore. His eyes go bloodshot and he screams.
"I gotta go to my room!" He runs upstairs and into his room. He puts earplugs on. "I can still hear it!"
Then he puts pillows over his ears. "It's still coming through! The irritating squeak!" He repeatedly bangs his head against his door. "Those shoes have got to go! And I need an aspirin."
That night, Luan was in bed with her rabbit shoes still on. "Luna, these shoes have changed my life. I'm never taking them off."
"Oh, great." Luna said sarcastically, before putting on her noise canceling headphones on.
"Goodnight sis." As Luan is sleeping with her shoes on, Lincoln comes out from under the bunk bed, then carefully takes the rabbit shoes off and runs off with them. Some hammering sounds are heard, then a rooster crows as night fades to morning. In the kitchen, Lincoln is pouring himself a glass of orange juice. "Ah, silence. Sweet, sweet, silence."
Then Luan came in, looking sad. "Lincoln!"
"What is it, Luan?"
She hugs her little brother while crying. "Oh, Lincoln! I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!"
"It's okay, Luan."
Luan cries harder and looks at Lincoln with tears streaming down her face. "No, it's not okay! I lost the rabbit shoes! Those special shoes, it's all my fault, I let you down! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Sorry, sorry, so sorry!"
"Hold it Luan! It's not the end of the world."
"Yes it is!"
"Look, don't cry. I got some, uhh, some magic oven mitts!" Lincoln holds up oven mitts. Luan puts them on her feet, waits a second, then kicks them off.
"They're not the same! Maybe I wasn't ready for those blessed shoes!" The sad comedian walks out of the kitchen as she drags her body on the floor. The rest of the family see this and become concerned, including Lincoln.
"Poor Luan." Lincoln said.
"How could she have lost her shoes, dudes?" Luna wondered. "She practically slept with them."
"I bet someone stole them!" Lana pointed out.
"Well, if there's a robber around then we'll have to set up a security system." Lynn Sr. suggested. The family agreed and Lincoln looked worried. Then his father tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey Lincoln-"
"I didn't do it!" Lincoln blurted out. "Oh, I mean, yes Dad?"
"I was wondering if you wants eggs for breakfast."
"Yeah, sure."
"Do you want them scrambled or (squeaks)?"
Lincoln becomes surprised. "What did you say?"
"I said do you want your eggs scrambled or (squeaks)?"
"Huh?"
"I heard him, Lincoln." Luan said, still in tears. "He said (squeak squeaks)."
"What?"
"And ( squeak squeak squeaks)."
Then Lincoln starts to go insane. He imagines squeaky rabbit shoes everywhere, as they have come back to haunt him. The shoes surround him and he gets buried in them. Eventually, he sees visions of Luan and her shoes and hears her voice in his head.
"Could the world's greatest comedian do this? And this, and this, and this, and this, and this-"
Lincoln's eyes start swirling. He snaps. "STOP IT! STOOOOOP IT!"
Lincoln's family looks at the white haired boy like he's crazy. "Don't you hear it?!...Yes, I did it! I took the shoes! They're here! Under the floorboards!" He sobs. "Ahh please, make it stop! It's the squeaking of the ugly rabbit shoes!"
He throws himself on the floor and bawls. "I'm sorry! But I can't take the infernal squeaking no' more!"
He lifts up the kitchen floor and takes the rabbit shoes. He has a crazed, evil look on his face and eats the rabbit shoes. He goes to Luan and lets out a long burp. "The deed is done."
"Umm, why did you eat my shoes, Lincoln?" Luan asked.
"Because sis, you don't need them. It's not the shoes, it's the person IN the shoes. You're a great comedian, Luan."
"You really think so, Lincoln?"
"I do, sis." He hands Luan a twenty dollar bill. "Here's twenty bucks. Think of this as a new birthday present."
"Thanks Linc."
"Don't mention it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a nice relaxing walk to school." Lincoln heads out. The rest of the sisters are glad that they won't have to hear anymore squeaking.
Lincoln is taking a walk with Clyde. "Ah, this nice long walk to school was exactly what I needed, Clyde. Just me and you."
"So how was your weekend, Lincoln? I heard it was Luan's birthday."
"Yes, it was. You see-" He hiccups and the squeaky noise comes out.
"What the heck was that?" Clyde asked.
"Oh no." Lincoln groaned. He continues to hiccup and squeak since the squeaky shoes haven't fully digested yet.
