It seemed like Kwazii somewhat heeded his pleas, because only one Octonaut came. When Peso saw the polar bear's head, he went straight to work. Kwazii never left Barnacles' side.
"Do you have any other wounds?" Peso clipped.
He is disappointed, Barnacles thought, noticing the tone. The penguin's face was unreadable. Barnacles tried to answer.
"My.. hihm.."
He couldn't talk.
Barnacles' anxiety spiked through the roof. His head was foggy. He tried again.
"Aa…di…"
Just sputtering happened. Unnatural sounds, like he was choking on his own words, though he could breathe just fine. He looked slightly to the right, off-kilter, eyesight going in and out of focus. He couldn't even maintain eye contact.
Why couldn't he talk!?
He rocked back and forth, back and forth. He didn't have any control anymore.
They still looked at him.
He was crazy. If he wasn't sure before, he knew for sure now.
But before he could get deeper in the fear, an orange paw went on his shoulder. "I got you," Kwazii said. The contact was welcome, and he shakily nodded his head in acknowledgement.
There was a moment, and a flipper waved in front of his face. "Captain," the medic's voice appeared. He sounded like he had been saying it repeatedly before. Barnacles looked at Peso's face - his eyes.
"I'm going to have to check for more wounds," Peso said as clearly as possible. Barnacles shook his head frantically, but Peso went ahead anyway.
The polar bear's behavior stupefied Peso. Did his head wounds cause this? But when the medic looked at them and bandaged them, they were just shallow. Yes, they bled a lot, but that was the nature of head wounds. Captain Barnacles did not have a concussion or anything.
But he wasn't concentrating, the speaking was bizarre, and he just seemed so high strung and tense. Peso furrowed his brows. Was this some sort of anxiety or mental thing?
He would have to talk to Dr. Galen about this, because if that was the case, this would be out of Peso's depth.
Careful not to overheat the Captain, he pulled one sleeve up.
Peso blanched.
His fur... A lot of it was gone. And there were scratches everywhere.
Without speaking- because he did not know what to say- he went from limb to limb. There were scratches on both arms and legs. There were even some on his stomach, though it was very little, with most of the fur still there.
Captain Barnacles looked away the whole time.
"Did... Did you do this to yourself?" Peso asked.
Captain Barnacles didn't answer, and Peso just saw emptiness in his eyes.
He waved his flipper in front of the polar bear's face again when the Captain said quietly, "I can see you."
The change in speech was confusing, but Peso took what he could get.
The fogginess in Barnacles' head thankfully started to dissipate, and his stomach was in knots, but that was also going away. He was numb, just numb. Good, maybe he will be able to function properly now.
Everything was found out anyway, so it didn't matter. When he's alone, he'll just kill himself then and there. Someway, somehow. He slowly looked at the hatch that led to the ocean outside. He should probably relive his nightmare of drowning, just one more time, and finally be quiet.
Another flipper went in front of his face, and he roused his concentration, looking at Peso again, eyes half lidded.
"We're going to take you back to the Octopod," Peso said clearly, and Kwazii helped him up.
The ride back was quiet, not that Barnacles minded. It's going to be ok. He'd just kill himself. This was just a setback. He won't have to deal with this anymore, deal with their disappointment anymore.
He laughed for several moments, uncontrollably. It wasn't like his normal laughter, open and free. It was unnatural; quieter, distorted. He could feel it rumbling deep in his chest. Acting on it's own, without his control. It felt uncomfortable, almost like his chest was about to hurt. After a while, he forced himself to quiet down.
If they stared, he didn't care anymore. He was going to fix this.
Kwazii looked back as discreetly as he could. Captain Barnacles was sitting against the wall in the Gup in a loose fetal position, face against the wall, blankly staring out the window that was on the other side of the room. He laughed to himself, smiling slightly, then became blank again. It was like he was comatose or something. Kwazii had no idea what this was, but the self-inflicted scratches and Calico's tale came to mind, and he internally winced, heart troubled. He couldn't take this anymore.
He turned towards the Captain. The movement got the polar bear's attention, and he shifted his dead gaze over to the cat. Peso was driving this whole time, but he heard the oncoming exchange.
"No matter what happens, I'll be there," Kwazii said. "If you need anything, I'll get it. I'm on your side, ok? We'll get through this," he said, eyes vulnerable and sincere. He turned back to the windshield. "We'll get through this."
Kwazii had no idea how Barnacles reacted, but the polar bear's eyes were a bit more alive for a moment, before becoming numb again. No matter what he was feeling, he was glad that Kwazii was here.
That warmth grew when Kwazii turned to Peso when they were close to the Octopod. "The Captain doesn't want the others to see him like this," Kwazii said. "He mentioned it earlier."
"Ok," Peso nodded.
If this was to happen, Barnacles was glad that at least everyone wouldn't be physically there. If their situations were reversed, Barnacles would've done the same thing.
He laughed again.
Kwazii would be, and already was, a great Captain. The Octonauts will be in good paws once he's gone.
Kwazii talked into the radio, and when they docked in the Launch Bay, it was purposefully empty when they left the Gup and walked through the large room. While they traveled to the Medical Bay, Barnacles noticed that Kwazii was nearby him, probably ready to grab him at any time. He didn't need to worry; he wasn't going to run away. He'll just bide his time.
"You two stay here, please. I'll be right back," Peso said, leaving the Medical Bay. Barnacles vaguely wondered where he was going, but he didn't care too much. He'll probably find out soon enough.
Under Peso's orders, he and Kwazii stayed in the Medical Bay overnight. Peso had apparently contacted his prior boss and mentor, Dr. Galen, for assistance; and the older penguin would speak to Barnacles in the morning. Barnacles felt like a school boy about to go to the principal's office, but he didn't mind too much. He just needed to be alone; just needed to find the right window of opportunity. Then he'll be free.
But Kwazii was a sly one, and throughout the night was awake. Barnacles would pretend to be asleep and peak out from underneath a medical blanket. Kwazii would still be up, sitting in his own bed with an old book on his paws. By the time it was 2am, Kwazii was still going strong, and Barnacles was so annoyed that he thought Forget it and actually fell asleep.
