A/N: Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts.
So, it seems this story might be the only "cruise time" we may be getting for a while, huh?
No matter where you are or what activities you're up to, stay safe, my loves (and wash those hands really good while singing the chorus to 'Raspberry Beret'). ;)
I think...we have less than a handful of chapters left. :)
Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.
Seven Nights – Chapter 13
September 1955:
I sat sideways on the plastic bench on my side of the diner booth and pulled a long drag from my cigarette, blowing out the smoke to my left so it wouldn't touch her pretty face…and so I wouldn't have to meet her big blue eyes.
"It won't work, dolly." I hoped she didn't hear the way my voice quivered. "You and I…it's been a crazy cool summer, yeah, and we've had a blast, but we're way too different."
"We are different, Jasper, which is what makes us so great together."
Unlike me, Alice didn't need no cigarettes to appear cool and calm. I could feel her eyes on my face as she faced forward. I'd dragged the ashtray to my corner of the table, and as I shakily flicked my ashes into it, I watched the singed particles morph into a salt and pepper mound of nothin.'
"Your big daddy is a total square, Al, and he'd never dig it. To him, it's all about the bread, and I ain't got none."
"Well, that's fine because I have plenty for both of us."
"And if he threatens to cut you off?" I asked, glaring at the ashtray.
"Then we'll live off of love."
"That's more than a bit naïve and idealistic," I snorted.
It was meant as an insult, as a way to hurt her with my admitted condescension, but in my periphery, I could see she didn't even flinch.
There'd been lively tunes playin' in the jukebox when Alice and I first walked into the diner. Couples were cuttin' a rug, cats twirlin' their dames while wide skirts went flyin'. The harried servers bringin' around the burgers and shakes held them trays high, fightin' desperately to avoid collisions. I ached to take my Alice's hand and give her a twirl cuz she was the best damn dance partner I'd ever had.
But that wasn't what we there for that day. Besides, some idiot dreamboat aimin' for a neckin' session had put his five cents into the jukebox, and out popped a tune that'd become popular over the summer for the tenderness it inspired in the dames, what with its moon-eyed lyrics and heartrending instruments. It was the original version of a hit that's been covered many times since. I'm sure even you kids would recognize it.
'Oh, my love, my darlin' I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time…'
Now them couples on the dance floor were slowly swayin', dames heads on their guys' shoulders while the guys wrapped their hands possessively around their girls. Between all that and between the optimism in Alice's words and voice, I was steamin'.
I took another long drag. "I'm a germ to his kind, and he just wants an ivy leaguer for you."
"Why are we talking about what my father wants? What about what I want, Jasper? This summer, you're the one who taught me that it's beyond okay, that it's my damn right as a woman to demand for myself that which the current institutions denies me and the rest of my sex. You're the one who's pointed out how inconsequential gender, class, color, and money are when it comes to a person's worth. Why are we sitting here talking about my father and my money?"
Here, my eyes flashed, and I finally looked up furiously, not outraged at her, no, but at the unfairness of it all because when it came to it, I couldn't, in good conscience, walk the walk that I talked.
'Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea. To the open arms of the sea…'
"Because, Al, in general terms, yeah, equality is real, but when it comes down to me and you-"
"Why?" she persisted, laying her palms flat across the table and leaning in closer, challenging me. "Why is it different when it comes down to you and me?"
When I banged a palm against the table, she didn't even blink much less back away. She'd said I was the one who taught her things, that I was the dauntless one. But the woman was innately courageous and intelligent and too good for an alley cat like me.
And she was a knock-out to boot.
"Because you deserve better, damn it! Because I should'a never taken up with you, dolly! You was always too rich for my blood, and I knew it! From the beginning, I knew this would never work in the long run, and I should'a ignored the way your kittenish, sweet baby blues looked up at me on that stage! I should'a let my eyes wander right past you and to the next broad because you didn't belong there!"
Despite my outburst, Alice held my gaze serenely. She was bred to be a fine lady, who didn't throw temper tantrums in cheap diners. While I waited for her response, the cigarette in my hand burned down to a stump.
"What about all the time we spent together this summer? What about everything we've shared – the poetry, the protests, the good times, the laughs…the sex?"
"Ally…" Her name erupted shakily, the way it did when we necked, when I breathed it like a prayer between us. Over the course of the entire summer, I'd never been able to simultaneously say her name and look at her without tremblin' because whenever I did both at once, it was like grantin' her permission to peek into my soul.
I put out the stump and pulled out another cig from my deck of Luckies, lightin' it with quiverin' hands. When I spoke, I forced myself to keep the tremor out of my voice and hold her gaze.
"That ain't your world, Ally. That was all a distraction from your real world."
"I don't want that other, supposedly real world."
"It was a distraction for me too," I continued stoically. "You got a good thing goin', Al, a good life ahead a' ya if you stay steady to the path you were born to."
"Listen to me, Jasper." She leaned in all the closer so that her blue eyes were all I saw. "Listen to what I'm saying. I don't want that life."
"Al, I ain't gonna pull you away from all that to be an alley girl to an alley cat with no real home," I hissed, "always on the road, and with nothin' I can call my own!"
She scrutinized me carefully, holdin' me locked in her gaze.
"So, you'd rather know I returned to my old life, married James, the rich banker Daddy's got picked out for me, popped out three of his kids, and all while being an obedient wife and throwing weekly parties for our rich friends at our Park Avenue address."
I swallowed hard past the excruciating lump in my throat caused by the picture she'd just painted. Then, I put the final nail in my own coffin.
"It's how it was always gonna end, girlie. This was only for the summer. Though, I am sorry I took your vir-"
Before I could finish, she picked up her chocolate shake and flung its sweet, sticky contents right in my face. The diner's patrons, both the dancin' and the eatin' ones, all stopped and gasped.
"That's what you apologize for? Out of all the hurtful things you just spent the past half hour spewing at me, that's what you choose to apologize for? Taking my virginity? You arrogant, sexist fool," she said as I wiped off my face with the rough paper from the table's napkin dispenser. "You didn't take it; I willingly gave it as is my right, and I don't give a damn about that, just as I'm sure James won't give a damn as long as I haven't given away my trust fund along with my cherry," she sneered.
"Al-"
"Yet, that's the world you want me to go back to. You're a hypocrite, Jasper Whitlock, that's what you are. I may be idealistic, but you're a hypocritical cynic. You claim you believe in things, but you believe in nothing but the rightness of your own beliefs. You spend your days and nights preaching about equality and about the misplaced belief in a manmade morality code, yet here you are, taking the opposite stance from all you supposedly stand for."
"Al-"
"Between being a doubter or a dreamer, Jasper, I'd rather be a dreamer."
I swallowed hard…because she was right, but at that moment, I couldn't see it.
"Just don't hate me, Ally," I whispered.
"I don't hate you." She offered me a wistful smile that twisted my insides. "I'll never hate you because, despite everything, you did teach me plenty. You opened my eyes to injustice and to our responsibility in fighting it. For all that, I'll always be grateful I met you. But I won't spend the rest of my life stuck on this summer, Jasper."
"Alice-"
She stood and looked down, waiting for me to work up the nerve to look up at her, but like I said, she was the brave one. I can still see her in my periphery: wide, red skirt; fitted white blouse, and a black belt around her tiny waist, a waist my arms ached to encircle. When I finally forced myself to look up, I craved a touch of the soft brown waves under her cap and brushing against her smooth neck. I wanted to wind her hair around my fingers, kiss those red lips, gaze into those blue eyes.
Alice brushed a scarlet-gloved finger down my cheek.
"Goodbye, Jasper. Thanks for the memories."
I knew right then and there I'd made an awful mistake.
OOOOO
"Then why did you allow her to leave?" Edward asks Jasper, disbelief thick in his tone.
Over six decades since the events of Jasper's story, he, Alice, Edward, and I sit at an outdoor table in a quiet corner of a cruise ship. We've just finished our casual buffet dinner. It was nothing like the exclusively private dinner Edward and I shared a couple of nights ago, with our own chef and our own little band. There are other passengers at tables around us, and we're close enough to the action where we can still hear the ship's band and feel the vibration from its instruments.
But the sea is just as dark blue here. The sun still sets in streaks of peach and gold. Alice and Jasper's company is an enjoyable addition.
Or, at least, it was enjoyable until Jasper's story.
Nonetheless, something has been off between Edward and me even before Jasper began relaying his tale. He's pensive. Though his hand holds mine, his grip is stiff and lax. He seems a thousand miles away, and I wonder if, in his mind, he's already picked himself up and headed back to Miami.
What's more, with each passing moment in Jasper's tale, Edward's mood seems to darken.
"What'd you expect me to do, sonny boy, tie her down? Anyway, it's not like I had much of a choice at that point," Jasper retorts. "This woman here has always had a temper."
At his side, Alice giggles. "I have."
"And at that point…well, I suppose I'd hurt her too much."
"He's right. There was no way in hell I would've stayed at that point. He's lucky I didn't ask for another shake so I could throw it in his face."
"Hmph," Jasper harrumphs.
"But time…" Alice smiles, "and situations have a way of putting things into perspective."
"So you made up quickly?" I ask.
Alice shrugs. "That depends on what you consider quickly. Don't forget you're talking to a couple who's been together for over sixty years."
"What happened was we ran into one another once again three years later-"
"Three years later?" Edward practically shouts.
A few of our fellow passengers look over. I squeeze Edward's hand, while he rakes an agitated hand through his hair.
"You want to be the star of this here story hour, sonny?" Jasper asks.
"Sorry," Edward says. "I apologize, sir. Please," he exhales, "continue."
"Well, as I said before I was rudely interrupted, Alice and I ran into one another, quite by chance, three years later. It was September 1958, in Little Rock, Arkansas. Don't know how your history is, since you kids nowadays don't know nothin' 'bout the struggles of the world before you were born, but September 1958 in Little Rock was a godforsaken hell. The year before, the federal government had decreed the integration of Little Rock Central High School, and nine brave African-American students were the first to attend the previously all-white high school. It was a rough year for them, full of physical and verbal abuse. Yet, as if that wasn't enough, at the close of that school year, Arkansas' racist governor, Orval Faubus, hatched a plan to keep African-American students out of the Little Rock Public Schools the followin' school year. I was there assistin' the ACLU-
"Excuse me, sir, but you're a lawyer?"
"What? Yes, sonny, I'm a lawyer! Retired now, but pay attention!"
"I apologize once again, sir."
"As I said, I was there assistin' the ACLU in fightin' the dirty rat bastard governor. By then, I'd been keepin' myself busy for the past three years, tryin' not to think too much of a certain dark-haired woman I'd once known, wonderin' what she was up to, torturin' myself with thoughts of her bein' married, havin' kids, all that sort of fun stuff. And yeah, I know it was torture I brought on myself. Anyway, one day, I walked into our temporary offices in downtown Little Rock, and I was told we'd gotten some more help overnight - a young, female law student from New York City, who-"
"It was Alice," Edward guesses.
"Congratulations, sonny. You want to finish tellin' the story since you seem to know it so well?" Jasper flourishes his hands in invitation.
"Jasper, stop it," Alice chuckles, swatting her husband's arm.
"Hmph."
"Yes, sweetheart," Alice says to Edward. "It was me.
"Within the hour, I was beggin' her to forgive me," Jasper smirks. "I won't even try to deny it. So yeah, you can say we made up pretty quickly."
"I…don't know if I'd term the preceding three years as making up 'quickly,' sir."
"What? You're an expert on my Alice and me now?"
"Jasper," Alice says in quiet warning.
"But he thinks he's an expert on our history now," Jasper gripes, flinging a hand accusingly toward Edward.
"Edward, honey," Alice says, smiling maternally at him, "I suppose Jasper and I now see this period as a small separation in a relationship that's spanned over sixty years now."
Edward nods. "I see. I suppose when you have sixty years together under your belt…"
"Yes. Jasper apologized profusely for how stupid he'd been back in that diner three years earlier. He said he'd broken my heart under the misapprehension that I'd easily return to my life the way it'd been before him, thinking that he was taking me away from a safe and happy life. Thinking he knew me better than I knew myself. But he'd grown in the preceding three years, and I'd carved a path of my own. I was pursuing my degree, finding my own way, and he realized how wrong about me and narrow-mindedly faithless in our relationship he'd been."
"I did," Jasper nods. "I realized how cynical and skeptical I'd been all my life, and with my sweet and always optimistic Alice by my side, I'd be able to temper all that. Which is why you see the always buoyant, always positive, and always pleasant man before you now."
He puffs out his chest, and I press my lips together while Alice shoots me a conspiratorial wink. Edward clears his throat but says nothing.
"Though, she did make me grovel a bit," Jasper mutters.
"I did not make you grovel," Alice contradicts with a giggle. "It wasn't my fault I was engaged!"
"Well then who's fault was it?" Jasper counters. "You weren't engaged to me!"
While Alice and Jasper continue, Edward scrubs a hand down his face.
"I'm sorry. Alice, did you say you were engaged?"
"Well, I did promise I wouldn't remain stuck on that summer," she smiles impishly. I was engaged not to James, but to a really nice young man, another Civil Rights lawyer by the name of Thurgood. You may have heard of him."
"You're kidding, Alice," I breathe.
"I am not," she sing-songs, smiling slyly. "As soon as Jasper apologized, I called Thurgood and broke it off. Then I took Jasper back to my hotel room and-"
"And me and my Alice did more than neckin' all night long. Hah! Got married a couple 'a months later. Popped out our first of three boys a year after that. My Alice and I opened up our own equal rights law firm a few years later, and then…"
"Then…here we are," Alice smiles, "retired, cruising, and meeting you two wonderful kids."
Both Edward and I smile weakly in return.
"What's the matter?" Jasper smirks. "Not quite what you were expectin'? What? Did'ja think it was gonna be one of them fairy tales your generation likes believin' in?"
When I give Edward's hand a squeeze, he returns it faintly, shaking his head and sighing.
"Three years later and engaged," he murmurs. Then he exhales long and hard. "Thank you both, for sharing your story."
OOOOO
Afterward, we walk Alice and Jasper to their room because Jasper quietly asks Edward for help moving the large, Ping-Pong Tournament trophy around. Their suite is on the same deck as Edward's suite but on the other side of the ship.
"Careful there, sonny! Don't drop my trophy now that our deal's complete!" Jasper tells Edward while he determines the best spot for his trophy.
Edward chuckles quietly. "I wouldn't do that, sir."
"How 'bout we set it down right there on my side of the bed? Yeah, there. Careful, careful! Actually, no, not there. I might trip on it when I get up at night to pee. How about over there by the TV? Yeah, there. No, not there! I might trip over it when I get the remote! How 'bout-"
While these instructions continue, Alice turns to me with an amused smile.
"How about we step out onto the balcony while they finish with that?"
"Sure," I grin.
The air is warm outside, the night black and moonless, but a Milky Way of stars illuminates the sky. Alice and I stand side by side at the railing, gazing out at the beautifully pure blackness before us.
"It's so peaceful out here," I murmur.
"It is," Alice agrees. Turning to me, she picks up my hand and squeezes it. "You and your young man were sure quiet this evening, and as much as you both seemed to look forward to hearing it, I don't think either of you enjoyed Jasper's and my love story."
I offer her a reassuring smile. "It was an amazing story. It's just that Edward and I had a bit of a…" I snort, "I'm not even sure what it was. I wasn't a fight because we were…" My eyes pan away from her and into the darkness. "I'm not sure what he wants from me." Once I blurt that, I seem unable to stop. "And anyway, he's not my young man. He's a guy I met on a cruise." I return my eyes to her. "Alice, do you remember when you and I met a few days ago, and you told me to find someone to kiss and kiss often while on this cruise?"
"And boy, did you find one!"
"And he's been…but when the cruise ends…back home, my mom is really sick," – Alice squeezes my hand again and places her other, bejeweled hand on my arm – "and I've got her waiting for me, and responsibilities I can't keep putting off, and an ugly break-up I won't be able to keep ignoring, and…"
Alice's ensuing chuckle floats in the air and wafts out into the nebulous night.
"You've got real life waiting for you beyond this ship and these waters." She tilts her head sideways and scrutinizes me. "Boy, you sound a bit like my Jasper, you know that?"
I smirk at her. "Jasper's a sweetie, but he's just a teeny, tiny bit," I squeeze two fingertips together, "cynical. I'm being realistic."
"He's an ornery fuck is what he is," she chuckles, "always has been and always will be. But he's also my life; always has been and always will be. However, you're being realistic as opposed to cynical, huh?"
For a moment, I can imagine what Jasper meant when he said it was hard to hold Alice's gaze for too long without feeling like she was peeking into your soul.
She cups my cheek. "Just remember a couple of things, sweetheart. First, real life is always, always just around the corner – even on a cruise ship. And second, everyone's got their own story to tell. It's up to each individual to make up their own ending."
OOOOO
We've made plans to meet the group at one of the clubs on board, so we stop by Edward's suite to change. It's strange, how so much of my clothes have somehow ended up in his room. We move politely yet quietly around one another. I use the bathroom first to change into a short, bodycon blue skirt and matching top. When I'm done, he uses the restroom to change while I apply some makeup in the cabin and exchange the flats for heels.
When we're done, we meet by the door.
Edward takes my hand. "You look beautiful," he grins, but though he sounds sincere, the grin doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Thanks." I smile in return and allow my eyes to wander over his crisp, white button-down; dark, slim slacks and matching slim jacket. "You look great too."
He brushes his lips against my forehead, lingering for a moment.
"Bella…" he swallows, Adam's apple bobbing in my periphery, "I have something for you later, okay, and maybe then…"
He pulls back and holds my gaze.
"Okay."
"Let's go."
As we make our way down the hallway, I realize it's the first time in the few, short days we've spent together that we've stepped into that room for more than a minute and haven't gone at it like fucking bunnies - literally. There's a tension between us, and we shuffle awkwardly through it, side by side. As we stand and wait for the elevator, I look up at him and smile. He smiles in return.
When we step off the elevator, the club's loud beats makes the entire deck shake and reverberate. There's a long line bending around the corner, made up of scantily-clad people, some already dancing and drinking. I'm not even surprised when Edward takes my hand, and we bypass the line. He steps right up to the bouncers and leans into one, saying something I have no chance of hearing over the pounding music just inside. The bouncer looks up at Edward and nodding in some sort of acknowledgment, he lifts the rope and steps aside. With his hand on the small of my back, Edward leads me within.
Despite the dark surroundings and the deafening acoustics, we locate the rest of the group pretty quickly. For the next hour or so, we hang out by the bar because the dance floor is way too crowded. We dance goofily among one another while enjoying a few drinks. The music's pounding drowns out absolutely everything. It's too loud to think much less for any sort of meaningful conversation. Charlotte and I are by the bar and sipping on Caipirinhas, yelling into one another's ears to try to hear one word out of ten when Edward takes my hand. Grinning, he begins pulling me toward the dance floor. Charlotte takes my drink out of my hand and smiles at me as Edward leads me away.
We squeeze onto the crowded dance floor, and Edward curves his hands around my hips while I wrap my arms around his neck. The strobe lights flicker across his handsome face and pick out the copper highlights in his dark hair. They make his sea-green eyes shine, his irises sparkle. His thumbs stroke my bare hips. My fingertips play with the wisps at his nape. And as always happens between us, the rest of the club disappears. We may as well be alone on this packed dancefloor. Edward moves in and brushes his lips softly against mine, back and forth…back and forth. When he pulls away, our foreheads meet, gazes holding. We remain that way for what feels like forever.
When I cradle his stubbly face, he turns sideways and kisses my palm, making my skin prickle and my heart…my heart race. He moves in, his lips right on my ear, kissing my lobe before he hovers very closely so that I catch most of what he says – catch the gist, at least.
"What…Jasper…in that diner? That Alice…best dance partner…ever had?"
I nod, smiling.
"Bella, you're the best…I've ever…."
He pulls back and holds my gaze before moving in again.
"…gone about this...wrong...I don't want to be here…now."
I turn and kiss his neck, murmuring in return. "Me neither, Edward. Me neither."
"Let's get out…can't wait any longer to tell…"
My breath hitches. "What the fuck?" I feel myself shriek the words wildly because the music is too loud to hear myself as I spin around to see who the hell just very purposely pressed his groin against my ass.
The music blares in my ears. The strobe lights, the same lights which just highlighted Edward's soft expression, now flash glaringly against my eyes and momentarily blind me. When the glare moves away, the lingering light highlights Quil's sneering grin.
The next few minutes erupt into Bedlam.
A/N: Thoughts?
Almost done…
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