The Three-Legged Race
As springtime approaches, it's time for the annual co-ed three-legged race, during which two children from each grade, a boy and a girl from each grade, compete in a race between all the other grades. Among the other competitors, Charles gets paired up with Melinda, and Stu gets paired up with Betty.
In early March 1967, on Tuesday, the kids on the playground heard a trumpeter. And as they gathered around, they heard their sixth-grade king, King Mark, announce:
"Hear ye, hear ye! Boys and girls of the realm, in three days, we will be holding the 6th Annual Co-Ed Three-Legged Race! During this race, each boy from each grade will had his leg tied to a girl from the same grade. Then, each pair will cooperate in running a certain distance to the finish line. The first pair to reach the finish line wins. From the poll of elementary-schoolers, I have selected the kids who will participate in this race as follows:
"From kindergarten: Mike Ball and Julia Cato.
"From first grade: Jack Riley and Melanie Cartwright.
"From second grade: Stu Pickles and Betty Giselle…"
"You hear that, Betty?" said Stu. "We're gettin' paired up."
"Neat!" exclaimed Betty.
"From third grade: Bob Spinelli and Charlotte McSell…"
Charlotte groaned, "Do I have to be saddled with this fashion reject?"
"I don't want anything to do with this snobby, prissy fashionista!" protested Bob.
"From fourth grade: Chas Finster and Melinda Cavanaugh…"
"Wow, Charles! We get paired together!" said Melinda with delight.
"Oh, boy," sighed Chas with worry.
"From fifth grade: Andrew Lloyd and Eva Webber.
"And from sixth grade: my strongest classmate John Sampson and my smartest classmate Debbie Macintosh.
"Please remember that the three-legged race is in three days, so start your training now. That is all."
And the kids all dispersed, with those who had been selected rushing to begin their training.
"Oh, boy!" said Stu. "The three-legged race! I can hardly wait to beat the other kids to the finish line!"
"I don't know, Stu," said Chas. "Maybe this three-legged race isn't such a good idea."
"Ah, Chas, you're just sayin' that because you have asthma."
Melinda added, "And besides, with Drew still in detention your aunt, there'll be no one to sabotage the other kids. The three-legged race should be fun for everyone!"
"Not me!" cried Chas. "The last time I ran, I broke my glasses, scraped my knee, and spilled all the candy out of my bucket!"
"But, Charles, that wasn't during any of the three-legged races," said Melinda. "That was on Halloween, when we were trick-or-treating."
"You were running from a fifth grader dressed as a robot," added Stu. "And he didn't even mean to scare you."
"Either way," said Chas, "I had never felt so embarrassed in all my life!"
"Sure, you have, Chas," said Stu. "What about the time you wet your pants during your second-grade talent show?"
"Or the time your aunt Muriel sewed up your pants?" added Betty.
"Or the time your mom showed us those embarrassing baby photos?"
"Or the time…"
"OKAY! OKAY! I EXAGGERATED!" cried Chas. "But I just don't feel like running."
Stu shrugged and said, "Then beating you fourth graders will be easy!"
But Chas reiterated by saying, "What do you mean, Stu? You're only second graders! You're much younger than us!"
"Come on, Chas, we're friends."
"If that's your idea of friends, then you should get a new friend, like Betty here!"
"Now, Charles," said Melinda, "it's only a race."
Stu then said, "Well, if that's the case, then we second graders are gonna beat you fourth graders, fair and square! Without Drew to sabotage me like last year!"
Chas replied, "I can't stand here and be insulted by an eight-year-old! I'm nearly ten! I'm gonna train myself to wow the competition… with Melinda as my trainer!"
"Fine! I had enough of you being a chicken anyway!"
And Stu and Chas turned their backs at each other and went to their separate training quarters.
Once the two boys had left, Betty and Melinda laughed with each other.
"Oh, boys!" chuckled Betty. "They really need to grow up!"
"You said it," said Melinda. "Good thing we girls mature faster than boys. I'm sure we can work this out somehow."
All through recess that day, Stu the second grader put some rigorous training into his program, getting to the gym just so he could lift Coach Marshall's smaller barbells for training. And he had Betty for his trainer.
Betty counted as Stu lifted the weights, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…"
Then, Stu said, "Man, by the time we reach the finish line, the bullies will be wheezing on my dust!"
"Bullies?" asked Betty. "I take it you mean fourth graders Chas and Melinda?"
"You know any other bullies?"
"Well, Drew for one."
"Nah, he's just my big brother, and Miss Finster's makin' him do the otter dance."
Betty sighed. How could she get Stu out of his competitive frenzy?
Meanwhile, Chas the fourth grader was also lifting weights, very unsteadily due to his frail physique, while Melinda was counting: "One… two… three… four… five…"
"Man! My dad makes it seem easy!" gasped Chas as he stopped to take a breather from his inhaler.
"You're doing fine, Charles," Melinda replied. "I just wish you'd stop being all competitive with Stu and Betty."
"Stu and Betty?! The second graders?!" cried Chas with a grimace on his face as he continued lifting weights.
During lunch that day, Betty and Melinda discussed their partners' competitiveness in regards to the upcoming three-legged race.
"Boy, Betty," said Melinda. "The way you describe everything, you make it sound like Stu's pretty mad at Charles."
"And you know what's worse," said Betty. "They're takin' this race thing a little too far. Too bad we can't make them be friends again."
"I know," said Melinda. "Maybe we could tell our friends how we feel about their petty feud and let them know that we care about their well-being."
"Mel, you expect me to believe that'll work?"
"It has to work. We've only got three days before the race, and if we don't do anything about it, Stu and Charles will probably kill each other out there!"
The next day, Wednesday, in the fourth-grade area, Chas took some medication from his inhaler and began jogging in place while Melinda, also jogging in place, was holding a stopwatch.
"You know, Charles," said Melinda, "don't you think you're getting too competitive with Stu and Betty? I mean, I'm worried about your well-being."
Chas panted, "Are you kidding, Melinda? I'm doing great! When the second graders are ready to lose, we'll be ready to grind them to the dust!"
And as Chas began to sprint around the fourth-grade area, Melinda shook her head.
Meanwhile, in the second-grade area, Stu and Betty were jumping rope.
Betty said, "Look, Stu, I still don't know how this all began, but don't ya think it's time you and Chas got over this silly feud and became friends again? I mean, this ain't too good for your health."
"I'd be more than happy to call the whole thing off," Stu replied, "if the fourth graders would do me just one little favor…"
"What's that?"
"Make a public confession to me as soon as they lose!"
Betty rolled her eyes.
The day after that, Thursday, during lunch, Betty and Melinda were discussing their failures.
"I'm tired of Charles' competition!" groaned Melinda.
"Yeah, and Stu wantin' to win ain't helpin' him either," said Betty. "Aren't the boys ever gonna stop tryin' to outdo each other?"
"It doesn't look like it. I mean, it doesn't matter who wins or loses. What matters is who's mature enough to stop trying to beat the other."
And Betty and Melinda continued eating lunch together, despite their respective partners' incessant arguments.
"I can get a better golf score than you, fourth grader!" cried Stu.
"I can run faster than you, second grader!" cried Chas.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
This wasn't like Stu or Chas…
That night, while Chas was sleeping, he was having another nightmare…
He was running the three-legged race with Melinda when Stu and Betty raced up to him with worried expressions on their faces.
"Chas, why are you doin' this to us?" asked Betty.
"We thought you were our best friend," said Stu.
"You second graders were never my friends!" cried Chas as he kicked Stu and Betty aside to reach the finish line.
Melinda was horrified, and she cried out, "Charles, why did you do that? This is nothing like you!"
But Chas snapped, "Come on, Melinda! We gotta win this race!"
And pretty soon, Chas and Melinda found themselves running together into a hall of mirrors. Once inside, Chas looked around and saw that, in one of the mirrors, the boy who had his leg tied to Melinda's was Drew Pickles!
Drew said, "Hello, Finster!"
Chas jumped a little and asked, "Who are you?"
Drew replied, "Why, I'm you."
This got Chas to wake up screaming, "WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!"
Now finding himself in his own bedroom, Chas shook his head and groaned, "What's gotten into me?"
And so, the next day was Friday, the day of the three-legged race, where each pair of children would race for the finish line while avoiding obstacles along the way.
Stu was confident about winning, but not Chas. This time, Chas turned to Melinda and said, "Melinda, I've been acting like a jerk lately. Last night, I had a bad dream where I looked into a hall of mirrors, and I was Drew!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you the whole time, Charles," said Melinda. "You spent the past three days insulting and belittling Stu and Betty when, really, we should be having fun together."
"You're right, Melinda. Maybe I should apologize to Stu and Betty for acting like such a jerk."
Melinda looked at Stu acting competitive and said to Chas, "Actually, now's not the time. Maybe you should wait until a better time."
Presently, King Mark announced, "Racers, to the starting line!"
And all the three-legged racing pairs walked to the starting line.
"On your marks… get set… and they're off!"
Instantly, the kids began to run! Already, Stu was pushing Betty, while Chas was only pushing himself and Melinda to the limit.
Now, the three-legged race course was also an obstacle course, littered with all kinds of obstacles that might hinder the progress of each pair.
Unfortunately, the first-grade pair, Jack and Melanie, was also the first to drop out of the race, tripping on a log over which the other kids leapt over (with the exception of the kindergarten pair, Mike and Julia, who climbed over the log).
"Those poor first graders," said Betty.
"Leave them!" cried Stu as he and Betty continued running.
But, to the amazement of the crowd, Chas and Melinda stopped by to give the first graders a helping hand.
"There you go," said Chas. "Sorry you can't continue."
"It's okay. We had fun!" exclaimed Jack. And he and Melanie giggled as they left the course.
From there, Chas and Melinda continued running.
Pretty soon, they were able to catch up with the fifth-grade pair, Andrew and Eva.
"Oh, no!" cried Eva. "Those fourth graders are gaining up on us!"
"Ah, relax, Eva," said Andrew. "They're fourth graders. What can they do?"
To their amazement, however, Chas and Melinda zipped right past Andrew and Eva.
"Now, I see what," was all Andrew could say.
Later, Chas and Melinda were nearly even with Stu and Betty and the third-grade pair, Bob and Charlotte.
"They're gaining on us!" cried Stu.
"You're obsessed, Stu," said Betty.
"Shows what you know, Betty!"
Meanwhile, Bob cried, "Look, Charlotte! We're about to catch up with the fourth graders and second graders!"
"Looks like we are," said Charlotte. "Maybe you're not so bad after all."
But soon, Bob and Charlotte tripped on a rock and fell into a mud puddle.
Disgusted, Charlotte groaned, "I take that back."
Betty looked on as she said, "Man, those third graders are having the best day of our lives!"
"Quit talking, Betty, and keep running!" cried Stu as he pushed her further.
But Chas and Melinda went straight for Bob and Charlotte, helped them out of the puddle, and cleaned their faces with some towel cloths.
"I'm sorry this had to happen, Charlotte," said Melinda.
Charlotte replied, "Well, it happens. One thing's for certain. I am not racing with this idiot again!"
And Bob stuck his tongue out at Charlotte as the two third graders left the course, and Chas and Melinda continued the race.
In time, the remaining pairs ran to the field of distraction, designed to distract the kindergarten pair, Mike and Julia, into losing the race. It was littered with all kinds of shiny objects and plushie toys. Naturally, the sixth-grade pair, John and Debbie, passed them by without batting an eyelash. As did Andrew and Eva the fifth graders.
Betty the second grader was almost distracted, but Stu, her partner, was not, for Mike and Julia were gaining up on them. In fact, as soon as the two kindergartners stopped to look the other way at the objects, Stu shouted to Betty, "Leave 'em!"
And off Stu and Betty ran.
But Chas and Melinda saw the kindergartners stop by to pick up an object, whereupon Chas cried out, "No! Kindergartners! Don't!"
Upon hearing a fourth grader stop them, Mike and Julia forgot their distraction and continued running along the course.
And so, Chas and Melinda continued the race.
Finally, towards the end of the race, Chas and Melinda were neck and neck with Stu and Betty, John and Debbie, and Andrew and Eva.
"Oh, no!" cried Eva. "Now, second graders are gaining on us! What are we gonna do?"
"I know," said Andrew as he took out an oil can and spilled some oil on the ground.
Meanwhile, Stu cried, "No fair! Those fourth graders are gaining on us! Run faster, Betty! Run faster!"
But Stu and Betty didn't even notice the oil as they slipped on it…
In his mind, Stu could see things. He thought he saw his big brother Drew taunting him again.
"Way to go, Stu!" cried Drew. "You've become just like me, a big bully with a big winning obsession!"
But Stu shuddered to hear that, and he cried, "No, Drew! I can't have become you! I…"
"But you have, by insulting Finster over there and tryin' to outdo him and Cavanaugh while they're just tryin' to help others up when they're down! PU! Who'd wanna help others?!"
And Drew's cackling left Stu lost for words.
Stu was still dumbfounded when Betty tried to nudge him, saying, "Stu, Stu, snap out of it!"
Meanwhile, Chas and Melinda saw Stu and Betty lying down in the oil, and, knowing that the sixth graders were about to pass them, they approached the second graders, lifted them from the oil, and carried them on their shoulders.
This kindly act brought Stu back to his senses. "Chas, why are you doing this?" asked Stu.
Chas replied, "It's time you finished this race… with us."
And Chas and Melinda ran with Stu and Betty on their shoulders to the finish line.
As for the fifth-grade pair, Andrew and Eva, they became so distracted by the finish line they didn't notice that they got their feet stuck in some thick mud. The fifth graders had dropped out of the race, and this time, Chas and Melinda didn't lift a finger to help them out.
And Chas and Melinda's win was the most unconventional win in Third Street history: two fourth graders with two second graders on their shoulders. Not even John and Debbie, the strongest and smartest sixth graders on the playground, saw that coming!
King Mark announced: "Kids of the playground, the winners of the three-legged race are Chas Finster and Melinda Cavanaugh, fourth grade."
The kids all cheered for the winners as they were given their prize: enough Winger-Dingers to supply them for the remainder of the year.
King Mark again announced, "As the winners of the race, and in recognition of those good deeds you did out in the race course, Chas and Melinda will make a speech."
Melinda spoke first, "Thank you, everyone! Charles and I would like to thank King Mark, and all the fellow students who have lent us their support! I would also like to…"
Chas tapped Melinda's shoulder as he pointed at Stu for her. Then, Melinda nodded, and Chas brought Stu up to the stand and said, "Stu, I'm very sorry I acted like such a jerk to you these past three days. I guess I didn't realize who my real friends were at the time."
Stu replied, "I'm sorry too, Chas. I guess I was so obsessed with winning, I didn't even realize that it's not really about winning. It's about fun. Welcome back. I'm so glad you're my friend."
"Me too, Stu," said Chas, and he and Stu embraced each other to the praise of all who saw this.
Stu and Chas were best friends again, and Betty and Melinda were pleased to see this.
