Reliving It
"Phil." AJ looked across at him, waiting on him saying something as he stood in silence, "What happened?" She whispered, looking at him almost ignoring her.
"Nothing… Nothing, I…" Punk shook his head, running his hand through his hair stressfully, "I didn't do anything." He began to pace as AJ watched him worriedly. It was like he was in complete denial.
"Something happened." AJ said as he shook his head, "Yes." AJ took his hand and pulled it a little with worry, "Phil, just tell me. Did you… Did you kill him?" She asked as he looked down at her, nodding slowly and swallowing the lump in his throat.
"I… I couldn't stop." He said as AJ looked at him, "I… I tried to." He said, desperately wanting her to believe him. He was under the impressions he wouldn't. He thought the worst of himself. He blocked it out so much that it was hard to confront it and admit it. It lived in the back of his mind, buried away. The more years went by, the further he'd managed to bury it.
"Ok." AJ nodded softly, "It's ok." She assured him as he looked at her, "What happened?" She asked him as he gulped, looking down at her.
"There was a… there was a riot. When there's a riot, guards aren't around, they're running around crazy, headless, scared they're gonna get stabbed or killed." He shook his head as AJ looked at him, "Joey came into my cell. Started talking shit-"
"When was this?" AJ asked curiously.
"A year before my release." Punk said as AJ nodded, "I was trying to stay out of trouble. If you get caught stirring stuff up in a riot you risk getting time added to your sentence and I was a year out. I didn't want to risk it. So I stayed in my cell." He said, "But Joey came in and just… started getting in my head." He said, walking away and turning his back to her, "I'd listened to it for seven years." He said tiredly, "I… I don't know what happened to me. It was like a flash." He shook his head as AJ watched him, "I beat him to death." Punk turned around to her as AJ looked at him.
"Hey, buddy." Joey smirked, walking into Punk's cell as Punk lay on the bottom bunk, sitting up immediately. He'd been sat watching prisoners running by, listening to the chaos emerging from the progressing riot out in the corridors and running through the prison building.
"What the hell do you want?" Punk stood up as Joey shrugged, not giving him an answer. He never really wanted anything but to torment and grind on his nerves. It had been like that for seven years.
"Why you not out there enjoying the party?" Joey asked him.
"Don't feel like it." Punk shook his head as Joey nodded with a smile, walking further into the cell, "Shouldn't you be out there? Leading them all to victory?"
"There's no victory in a place like this." Joey chuckled to himself as Punk looked across at him, "For a guy who used to work with King Rio you sure are… boring." He shook his head with confusion, "What happened to you? What changed?" He wondered, "Was it the little kiddies?"
"Shut the fuck up." Punk advised.
"Or was it… your lovely wife. April." Joey smiled as Punk glared across at him, "Yeah, her picture has been passed around this place a lot." He chuckled as Punk felt sweat forming in his curled up fists, "You got any new ones lying around? I could do with some new material." He chuckled as Punk shook his head.
"You're fucking disgusting." Punk said, "Why don't you just get the hell out of here? Aren't you tired of me?" He asked.
"No, actually. Even after seven years it's still fun annoying you." Joey smiled as Punk glared across at him, "You're being a good boy because you're getting out of here soon, aren't you?" He already figured.
"Yeah, exactly, I'm getting out of here. People like you, this is it for you." Punk said, "Stuck in here, worthless and unloved."
"Does that make you worthless and unloved too?" Joey asked.
"I got a family to go home to." Punk said. Although uncertain of that, he still had to hope for it.
"Do you?" Joey chuckled, "I thought your wife and oldest hadn't visited you in years?" He smirked, knowing all the intel from guards giving him the scoop on visitors, "She's probably fucking some other dude as we speak. It wouldn't take me any convincing to have a go on her." He laughed as Punk immediately grabbed him by the throat and pushed him against the wall.
"I'm fucking sick of punching you face!" Punk yelled angrily as Joey looked at him, gasping for air, "Just get the fuck out of my cell." He spat, pushing Joey over towards the gate as he stumbled over, massaging his neck as Punk tried to calm down.
He'd taken so much. Beatings, mental torture and mind games. There was only so much he could take and hear. Especially after seven years of it. He often questioned why he was such a focal point for Joey, but then it hit him. Jealousy. Jealousy of family and people who loved him. It was a rare in the place they were in for anyone to have that kind of positivity waiting on the outside. Even if it was uncertain. His family, his love for them was oddly his downfall in this rotten place.
"Nah, I'd… I'd pass on your wife, actually." Joey chuckled, coughing and choking a little as he rubbed his throat, straightening up, "However… your daughters." He smirked as Punk turned around, "I know what I'm doing when I get out of here… or who I'm doing." He chuckled as Punk looked at him, seeing red, feeling an entire rush come over him as he tackled Joey to the ground, punching him and punching him. He couldn't stop. He'd been in many fights in his lifetime, and there was always his conscience in the background telling him to stop, but somehow… that was no longer there.
He kept punching until he ran out of steam, standing up straight and stumbling over to the wall, sliding down it as he felt his legs numb, looking at his bleeding and open wounded knuckles, hands shaking as he ran them through his hair, looking over at Joey who lay completely still, with not so much as a movement in his chest to indicate sign of life.
He was too far gone to comprehend what he'd actually just done.
"Damn, it's crazy out-" Tom walked into the cell, pausing immediately as he saw Joey lying in their cell on the ground, his face unrecognisable with the blood and gashes on it. He turned to Punk who sat against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest as he looked at his shaking hands in front of him.
"W-What happened after?" AJ asked, looking across at her husband as he explained what happened, "You obviously… didn't get caught." She said.
"Well there was a riot going on. I guess that was my blessing in disguise. Prisons see multiple deaths during a riot, and they always get swept under the rug." Punk said, "Tom and I just moved him out of our cell. Tom let me punch him in the face a couple times to… to make it look like the bruises on my knuckles were from a fight with him." Punk said as AJ nodded slowly.
"And no one questioned how Joey was… beaten to death?" AJ questioned, "What about my brother?"
"He was gone by that time. In fact he'd not long been released." Punk said, "There was no CCTV in my cell or outside the cell so… they'd never trace it to me. If it was in the yard or the food hall… maybe it would have been a little harder." He said, "But I don't think anyone, especially the guards, were mad about him being dead." He said.
"Why couldn't you tell me?" AJ shook her head.
"Why would I want to?" Punk looked at her.
"Phil, this man… this man tortured your for seven years. He messed with your head. Broke you." She said, "You've only told me a little bit and I can't imagine having to deal with that for seven years. No wonder you snapped." She said. She wasn't mad nor did she judge him. In fact, it seemed pretty humane for him to have broken the way he did after so much abuse and torture.
"I couldn't stop. I wanted to kill him." Punk made clear to her.
"It was a… highly emotional situation-"
"Bullshit, Ape. I killed the guy." Punk said as she looked at him.
"After what he said to you about the kids, after the way he treated you, mentally and physically abused you… I don't blame you." AJ said.
"Yeah well you stuck by me when I was dealing so I'm not surprised you don't see any fault in this." He said as AJ screwed her eyes up.
"What the hell does that mean?" AJ spat, "It sounds like you're having way more trouble accepting what happened than I am." She said, "I don't doubt something as traumatic as that needs to be quickly buried to the back of your mind and maybe… maybe now you're just starting to deal with it, and I'm here to help… you don't have to push me away. You aren't alone anymore." She made clear.
"I killed him." Punk repeated as she looked across at him.
"You stood up for yourself. Defended yourself-"
"No… no…" He mumbled to himself with frustration as AJ looked at him, "No, he didn't even touch me-"
"He threatened your family. He was beating on your for seven years. You shouldn't feel so guilty-"
"Why shouldn't I?" Punk questioned.
"Because you were broken in there. Lying in isolation for weeks. Listening to people talk about me and the girls. Us being threatened. Physically being abused. You're human. You can only take so much." She emphasised as Punk shook his head. Hearing it all was making him relive it, just like the nightmares, and it was hard to breathe.
"I-I need air." Punk shook his head, backing up and stumbling against the door.
"Phil, please don't go out like this." AJ said with concern, not wanting him to leave the house in the state he was in.
"No, I need… I need to go." Punk insisted, leaving the kitchen, feeling like if he didn't get out he was going to suffocate.
"I'll come with you." AJ insisted, chasing after him down the hall, "Phil, please don't go on your own." She begged, watching him quickly rush away from her and leave the house as quickly as possible.
She feared he was in the midst of a panic attack. He seemed so far away and she wondered if the unveiling all of this was leaving him traumatically stressed. It certainly seemed like it and she didn't blame him after what she'd just found out.
She walked back into the kitchen worriedly, taking her phone out from her purse and calling one of her daughter's.
"Hey, Jude." AJ said softly, placing her hand on her chest, "Y-Yeah, yeah I'm ok." She said, "I just need your help. It's your dad."
