pregnant? Barry said again. that isn't how it works. I can't, no we can't force you to get pregnant babe. I know that babe.

but have we even tried babe tried for a kid? when was the last time you even touched me? look, Iris Barry said to her as he unhooked her arms from around his neck we both know that neither one of us are ready to be parents.

and, yet here we are right now with Nora, isn't that the same? Well, Barry said think about it this way then Iris how awkward would it be for Nora for her to still be here while you are pregnant with her?

"we don't even, know if that would be possible" Barry. look I know you probably think I am rushing this, but I am not if I am being honest I never thought of myself as a mother because I never had a mother figure growing up but then Nora showed up at my dad's house for my baby sister first birthday. and things changed. I thought we had forever babe but clearly time isn't on our side. I don't know I guess you can say I had a realization I guess, and it may be for the wrong reasons. but I thought I had years to prepare for you leaving for me writing that article I don't even know h-how I am going to find that courage to write the article and then I learn it may only be a matter of months and what am I going to left with? Iris said as she sat down on the couch picking up a pillow to hold just memories and mourning not only you but the daughter I we met but I never got a chance had. I think I will be okay if she hates at least a part of you will live on in my life forever.

I am not a jealous person babe; you know this, or I hope you do. before me and the team knew about the you staying missing for twenty-five years in some crisis yeah I admit I was hurt that our daughter didn't want to spend time with and I thought oh my gosh I didn't have a mother… even though Joe isn't your real dad babe you had a father figure.

and, then I learned about how long you will be missing it hit me even harder and I thought I was coping with it I guess it wasn't.

but the first time it hit was the day you and Nora were making the tacos. I found myself just sitting on the couch wondering what did Nora get from me? she has your personality; she became a CSI like you she can cook just like you. come on babe even her favorite ice cream. she was supposed to never have met you, am I really supposed to believe that all of that was inherited she even has your laugh? do you see anything in her that came from me? that was one of the reasons why I asked you to teach me how to cook babe. even though I knew in the back of my mind the three of us were working on trying to change your fate I think once I met Nora and found out. I was looking for more ways to try to connect. I can't cook, but babe if you teach me how to cook and if you are not around. maybe one day Nora and I could be cooking, and I can tell her a story of how you taught me.

I'm sorry, Barry said as he sat down next to her on the couch. I guess I been so wrapped up in trying to help Nora and find out what I can about this crisis I didn't think about the effect it was having on you or the team.

that's okay, babe but that doesn't mean Nora has to disappear forever as you put it in your message one thing did remain the same from what both you and Nora said is that she was conceived before the crisis.

I'm sorry, Iris I can't Barry said standing up…

can't or won't babe Iris said, standing up I just poured my heart out to you.

and that is exactly what Barry said. this afternoon here right now you to plan this special day for me you did it for yourself not for me or even for us. you want to learn how to cook take cooking classes.

as a kid you were always reading your books, Iris, you were a smart girl no one is faulting you for that, but it isn't my fault you can't cook. Joe tried to get us both involved in cooking and helping out around the house growing up yeah you helped but you refused to touch the cooking… and besides Iris no what when it happens or how sex happens it is supposed to be romantic and just going with the flow of things not planned like going into a battle and even if I was up for it there's no guarantee you would even get pregnant tonight! Well, we will try every night Barry. Iris said now standing up so, that she is in front of Barry and tomorrow we can talk to Caitlin about what ways that can help because we both know that we can't go to a regular doctor for something like this. do you even hear yourself right now? and how crazy you sound?

I don't think it sounds crazy Barry, for wanting a child a beautiful daughter one we have already met…

"have you ever thought about maybe I don't" Barry snapped to his wife. what? Iris said stunned and heartbroken, you can't be serious. maybe I am Iris you know serious about this. if I was really meant to be a father would I really be destined to just leave our child in a short few years or months? or however long I have left.

what about what I want or need Barry. maybe it isn't just my priorities that changed its okay Iris some people sometimes just grow apart. no no Barry, Iris said as she wiped more tears from her eyes, not us, we don't grow apart our love is supposed to be eternal. Wh-what would Nora think if she heard you giving up her.

I'm not giving up on our daughter! then what are you doing babe? talk to me please I been with you through all the good and even all the terrible things. help me understand.

you can't understand Iris, don't you see that?!

and, why not? because Iris as much as you talk about us being in this together you being there by my side from all the terrible things. we both know that isn't true. maybe you were there for the aftermath but that isn't the same as being there in the moment.

"where were you when my mother died?" "where were you when my father died?" your dad is alive babe you know this.

and, that is my point, Iris… you don't remember my father dying. I do, I remember when Zoom came into Joe's house and snatched and I had to race him to my childhood house, I know you don't remember it, but your organized a little gathering for my dad Wally found out I was the flash that night. what? Iris said shaking her head no no Wally always knew you were the flash you told him when he first came to Central City when I introduced him to you as my brother. Well, I don't remember it like that but you are not seeing my point here and the point I am making to you is that you weren't there by my side during his death yes you attended his funeral with me, but you weren't there! you weren't by mind side when Zoom broke my back and when I was in a coma after my first fight with him… you were only thereafter I was somewhat mobile. So, don't stand there and tell me you understand and say you been by my side through it all… you weren't when I was in jail and framed yeah you visited me but you weren't with me.

…. you weren't on Earth three with me, when I saw myself die! Jay wasn't even with me, he was in the room, but he wasn't in my mind! do you really think I want to leave our daughter?! Iris?! my dad... I just got him back. you didn't all of Central City and the multiverse collapsed and be erased into nothingness. and if I'm being honest I don't even remember asking Jay for my daughter. I just went along with it. but I was glad she came anyway. I probably was in so much pain I thought his wife was my mother and uttered Nora by mistake I don't know... can you name one time since I became the flash you were there for me? you blamed me for when Wally got trapped in the speed force I gave up my powers for him, Iris for you...

my mind broke through millions of different timelines and different multiverses and the only timeline where you, your father, Caitlin Cisco Cecille was alive was where I die I saw all of you guys running in the street and y-you were just standing there in the middle of the street you weren't running or screaming.

…. you think I want to be in this predicament? If I don't sacrifice myself, we all are dead. but if I do die, well.

then you know what will do Barry, we call Kara and her team, the legends we call my brother as much as I would prefer him out of danger he wouldn't mind helping out you know that and we will hunt Oliver Queen and we will all work together to prevent this crisis. I'm not the only one who dies… Iris no one life is worthless then mine if we can't save all we won't save one. I never been up against the multiverse before Iris… yeah, other villains from other Earths or even just this Earth. But this is a whole other level.

Well, then Barry…. don't think about dying… don't enter this crisis to die. enter to return to your daughter to return home to me isn't that why you are willing to make this sacrifice for Nora and for me. if you say this crisis is a big deal call upon your friends and love ones. did the monitor say you couldn't tell anyone or say you couldn't seek help?

… is that? yes, it Barry Allen. even though I never pictured myself as a mother I did picture us with a kid someday. and I thought it would be nice if our son or daughter saw our wedding and we could explain what the song running home to you meant and maybe you and I could've have tweaked it a bit to make it less romantic so, it could be to our kid too. but I did always think we would have a son though never in my wildest dream did I think a daughter. so, how about we throw away these homemade store bought pizza kits and you show me how to make pizza or your other favorite dish mac and cheese. and we turn this day into about us. I'm sorry babe you were right the day really wasn't about you, but it is still young so instead of having it be about you or about me let's have it about us.