"I don't think I can eat anything," Hermione said at breakfast on Wednesday. She looked faintly green. Harry was nervous too, but he was gamely forcing down some toast. Ron, as always, had covered his plate with sausages, beans and toast and was wolfing them down.
"What do you think you might see?" Seamus asked. He was sitting across from Harry, playing with his food more than eating it. Ron shrugged.
"Dunno," he said through a mouthful of sausages. "Hopefully what job I'll have after school. Then I'll know if I took the right subjects for my N.E.W.T.s." Harry nodded absently. He was hoping he might see the outcome of his fighting Voldemort, but at the same time, he was worried that it would show him a future where he had died.
"Remember," Hermione said. "The potion doesn't show the absolute future. It shows one possible future that could happen, and also it shows you your partner's future. So Ron, you'll have to ask Pansy what your job is as you'll be seeing what might happen to her."
"Right," Ron said. "Yes, of course."
"Really?" Seamus asked, making a face. "I mean, Daphne is fine, but I don't overly care what her future shows." He slumped against the table, resting his chin on his hand. "Oh no," he said. "What if I'm boring in the future?" At this, even Hermione laughed.
"I don't think you could ever be boring, Seamus," Harry said. Seamus shot him a grateful smile.
…
"You alright?" Harry asked as he slid into the seat next to Draco's in the Potion's classroom. Draco was pale and there were pronounced shadows under his eyes. The blond shrugged.
"Mm fine," he mumbled. "Didn't sleep well."
"Nervous?"
"Very." Harry slid his leg over until their feet were touching. It was the least he could do, and at the same time it was the most he could do in the public setting of the classroom.
"It'll be fine," Harry said. He was trying to reassure himself as well as Draco.
"What if I see you die?" Draco hissed. "I don't think I could fucking take it."
"Hermione said we'll see a possible future. Not necessarily one that will happen."
"That doesn't help me if you die and I lose it," Draco muttered. "Oh, Circe, you don't think we're going to have to drink it in front of everyone, do you?" The thought hadn't occurred to Harry. He was now even more nervous than he had been a moment ago.
Before he could say anythings else, however, Professors Slughorn and Snape walked into the room. Professor Slughorn was smiling; Snape looked like he had just swallowed a lemon. Harry wondered if this was the face Snape made when he was worried.
"Settle down, settle down," Slughorn said. "The much anticipated day is here." He clasped his hands in front of his chest. "Professor Snape and I have inspected all of your potions and have deemed them all safe to try."
"Yes, Longbottom," Snape said. "Even yours." Harry glanced back at Neville and saw a small on his face.
"You will wait for us in your private pods," Slughorn continued. "And we will stop by one group at a time. I would recommend that you use the spare time to study up on the potion we will be starting on Friday - the Polyjuice potion." There were a few gasps from the class. Harry glanced over at Ron and shot him a small thumbs up. Ron grinned.
"What's that about?" Draco whispered.
"Tell you in a second," Harry whispered back as Slughorn continued speaking.
"As I'm sure you recall from your introductory lessons, the Ehwaz potion shows the future. However, as with any future telling, there are caveats. When you try the potion, you will see a glimpse into your partner's potential future. I say potential, as the future is not fixed. There are many things that can alter it.
"So if you don't see a future that you like - and in these troubled times, some of you might not like what you see - don't fret. It is not a certain outcome. The Ehwaz potion was invented in order to glean possible futures so that the brewers could work towards what they thought was the best one. It was created to help us decide how best to proceed, possibly with difficult decisions. 'Is it a good idea if I take this job?' for example."
"I would encourage you to talk about what you see with your partner," Snape said. Slughorn stepped aside and allowed him to speak without interruption. "Talk about why you think you saw what you did. Talk about how you might change what you saw if you don't like that potential outcome. Knowledge is a very powerful gift, but only if you use it correctly." To Harry's ears, he sounded sad as he said this. Harry wondered if there was more behind what Snape had said, but then Slughorn was shooing them off to their pods and he pushed the thought aside while he gathered up his bag and the parchment and quill he had gotten out to take notes.
"Scurvy cur," Draco said and Sir Cadogen's portrait swung open. Harry followed Draco into their pod, for what might be the last time. He placed his bag next to the empty table and proceeded to take out his potion's book and some parchment. He didn't hear Draco walk up behind him and he jumped in surprise when Draco's arms circled his waist.
"So, tell me about your reaction to brewing a polyjuice potion. I think it's the first time I've seen either you or Ron show any enthusiasm for a potion, and it is not an easy one by any stretch of the imagination." Harry put his arms over Draco's and hugged him closer.
"We've brewed one before," he said.
"You what?"
"In our second year."
"You didn't."
"Or, more accurately, Hermione did and Ron and I watched."
"That sounds about right," Draco said. He nuzzled Harry's ear with his nose and then nibbled Harry's earlobe. Harry melted back into Draco's arms.
"But I remember the ingredients. Mostly. And I know what it feels like to drink it." Draco released Harry's earlobe.
"You do?" Harry turned in Draco's arms until they were facing each other. "Why?"
"You know how we have a complicated past that involves us mostly hating each other until a few months ago?" he asked.
"Yes," Draco said, narrowing his eyes.
"Well, in our second year, I was convinced you were the Heir of Slytherin and opening the Chamber of Secrets. So Ron, Hermione and I brewed a polyjuice potion so that we could ask you about our suspicions in person without you getting suspicious of us." He said this very fast. Then he bit his lip and looked at Draco in what he hoped was endearing concern. Draco arched one eyebrow at him.
"Is that so?" he asked. His voice was quiet.
"Um, yes."
"Fuck, you really have been obsessed with me this whole time."
"I have not."
"Yes, you have."
"Well so have you. Been obsessed with me, I mean."
"Still am," Draco said. He reached up with one hand and pulled Harry's lips to his.
…
"I must say," Slughorn said, looking down at the contents of Harry and Draco's cauldron. "This is one of the best Ehwaz potions I have ever seen. You two must have a wonderful relationship."
"The most interesting part about that, Horace, is that they were nemeses at the beginning of the semester," Snape said.
"So you found friendship through the power of potions? How wonderful!" Slughorn clapped his hands together in delight.
"Something like that," Harry mumbled. He didn't know why Snape had mentioned that - it seemed like superfluous information.
"I wonder," Slughorn said as he ladled a small amount of the sunshine yellow potion into a measuring phial. "If that is why your potion turned out so well."
"Something to research," Snape said. "To be sure."
"But for now, we will just have you sample some." He held the phial up to his eye and, seeing that it was the correct amount, nodded to himself before filling a second phial. He handed the two measures of potion to Harry and Draco and then looked at them expectantly.
"That's it?" Draco asks. "We just drink it?"
"You may want to sit on the couch" Snape said. "After all, that is why it is here."
"Ah," Harry said. "I did wonder about that."
"You clearly didn't read to the end of the instructions," Snape said. "You will also need to hold hands again."
"This potion is all about the hand holding, isn't it?" Draco muttered as they made their way over to the couch. He sat down on it and waited for Harry to do the same before taking his hand. Having Draco's hand in his, Harry felt slightly less nervous, particularly when Draco gave his hand a brief squeeze.
"Well then," Slughorn said once they were settled. "One, two, three - down the hatch!"
Harry and Draco glanced at each other and then lifted the phials to their lips and tipped back the potions. Harry wasn't sure what to expect in terms of flavor and so was pleasantly surprised when it tasted like shortbread - buttery and sweet. He swallowed it down and then waited for the potion to take effect.
He didn't have to wait long. Within seconds, his eyelids began to droop and he leaned back on the sofa cushions, grateful to have something soft to rest on. His eyes closed and images began dancing behind his eyelids. It took a moment for things to come into focus, but when they did, Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
He was in what appeared to be a flat in London. The sounds of cars drifted through the windows. The flat was bright and modern. He was sitting at a desk near the window and when he looked down, he saw that he was working on an arrest report for the Ministry. His title at the top of the page read Junior Auror and the date was July 17th, 2000. So, he at least would live for four more years.
At the corner of the desk was a framed photograph. Harry peered at it and realized with a burst of delight that it was one of the photos Colin had taken of all of them at the Halloween party. The Draco and Harry in the picture were very clearly in love. Their arms were around each other, and while they were also hugging other people, their affection for each other was readily apparent.
He heard a key turn in a lock and looked up in time to see himself walk into the flat. He blinked and turned back to the parchment on the desk. Sure enough, the name at the top of the page read Draco Malfoy. So Draco would become an Auror then. But what did that make Harry?
"Hi love," Other-Harry said to him. His arms were full of groceries and so Draco-Harry got up to help him with them. Other-Harry kissed him as he lifted bags out of his arms and Harry had the strange sensation of kissing himself. But at least that meant they were still together in the future. "How was work?"
"Oh, fine," Draco-Harry answered vaguely. "And you?"
"It's my day off, silly. That's why I'm making you dinner."
"Oh," Draco-Harry said, dumbly. He was not sure if he could ask what his future self did or whether that would make something go wrong in the future. But then, he thought, this wasn't the real future. It was a vision of what the future could be.
"I mean, I can't expect you to come eat at the restaurant all the time," Other-Harry said.
"You run a restaurant? But you hate cooking."
"Are you feeling alright?" Other-Harry asked, putting a hand to Draco-Harry's forehead. "How many times do I have to tell you? I love cooking when I get to be creative. Or," and here he reached over and pinched Draco-Harry's butt. "When it's cooking for someone I love." Harry found himself nodding.
"Right," he said. "And Voldemort?" he asked. "He's still dead?"
"Of course," Other-Harry said. "We killed him years ago." Other-Harry frowned at Draco-Harry for a moment before he started to unload groceries. He hummed to himself as he did.
The scene began to fade and Harry found himself looking around the flat in desperation, drinking in as many details as he could before he woke up. There was a picture from Hermione and Blaise's wedding on the mantle above the fireplace, with the six of them grinning like loons at the camera while Seamus sabred a champagne bottle in the background.
A Weasley sweater was draped over the back of the couch, a large D on it. It was well worn and had patches on the elbows. He looked down at his hands - Draco's hands - and noticed a wedding band. It felt familiar, so much so that Harry hadn't noticed it when he had come to in Draco's head. Most of all, he took with him a feeling of happiness. And hope. Hope that at the end of the war with Voldemort, the world would right itself.
He blinked and he was back in their potion's pod.
Draco was still passed out on the pillows beside him. There was a deep frown marring his face and the feeling of contentment that Harry had been feeling since witnessing their possible future began to fade. After all, it was only one possible future. Professor Slughorn had left the room, but Professor Snape was still there. He looked bored.
Harry opened his mouth to say something but Snape shook his head, gesturing at Draco. Harry snapped his mouth shut again. He turned his attention back to Draco and watched as his eyes moved behind his eyelids. He wanted to squeeze Draco's hand, to let him know that he was there, but he was worried that would be as much of an interruption as talking.
Instead he waited until several minutes later, Draco woke up with a loud gasp. The blond sat up, breathing heavily, his eyes wild.
"What happened? What's wrong?"
"Oh, Harry," Draco said. "You're here!" Draco reached up and cupped Harry's cheek in his hand. "Thank Circe." Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Snape leave the room.
"Yes," Harry said. "I'm here." Draco slammed his lips into Harry's with more desperation than Harry thought he had ever felt from him. Harry was glad that Snape had left as Draco pushed him against the back of the couch and straddled him, somehow still keeping his lips on Harry's. Harry clutched Draco close, his arms wrapped around the blond's waist.
They stayed like that for a long moment before Draco finally pulled away, panting hard. He kept his hands on Harry's cheeks.
"Oh, fuck me," he said quietly. "That was awful."
"What was?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head. "What did you see?" Draco bit his lip.
"You, uh," he said. "You died." The jolt of shock that went through Harry was visceral. His mouth dropped open of its own accord. "And it was awful. Voldemort won."
"How did you see this if you were seeing my future?" Harry asked. His voice sounded like it was coming from someone else.
"You," Draco started to say and then stopped. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You were a ghost."
"Ah."
"It was awful. You felt so powerless. All you could do was watch as," and again Draco stopped, too choked up to continue. Harry sat up and pressed their foreheads together.
"You can tell me," he said. "I'm still here. What did you see?"
"We can't let him win," Draco whispered. A single tear escaped his eyes and made its way down Draco's cheek. It splashed onto Harry's shirt.
"We won't."
"It was awful. I- I don't even know where to begin."
"The beginning?" Draco nodded, sniffing hard.
It was not a pleasant vision of the future. Voldemort had won and had seemingly immediately gone about consolidating power. Draco's vision was further in the future than Harry's had been and Voldemort's power had been all but absolute. The United Kingdom had declared itself a wizards only country. Muggles worked in camps as farmers, which was still something few wizards wanted to do. Azkaban was filled with all those who had tried to stop Voldemort - their friends, their family. The dementors loved it.
And the dementors - well they were everywhere. The whole of the British Isles were bathed in a constant fog as they helped keep down any resistance to the Voldemort Regime. There were special Legillimens who questioned anyone who was suspected of being part of the rebellion. They prowled the streets, going house to house to do spot checks, while Ghost Harry had watched from within the walls… He had flitted from place to place, wanting to help but unable to…
He'd found himself too. Or, rather Ghost Harry had visited Draco at Malfoy Manor. As his parents had supported He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he had been allowed to stay under house arrest. He stayed huddled in his room, guarded by his own personal dementor, unsure if the visits from Ghost Harry made him feel better or worse. When Draco left, his other self had been constantly repeating that he'd failed Harry and there had been nothing he could do to get him to stop.
By the time Draco had finished telling Harry everything, there were streams of tears making their way down Draco's face.
"It was awful," he said again. He stopped speaking and pitched himself forward onto Harry's chest. Harry held him close and stroked his hair.
"We're not going to let that happen," Harry whispered fiercely into his ear. "Because the future I saw was perfect and I am going to fight for it with every fiber of my being."
"It was?" Draco sniffed. Harry nodded. He lifted Draco's face up and kissed his cheek, tasting the salty tears on his cheek.
"It was four years from now," Harry said softly, wiping tears off of Draco's face with his thumbs. "And we-" his breath hitched, but from happiness, not despair. "And we were married."
"We were?" Draco looked so hopeful, his eyes still brimming with tears, that Harry couldn't speak again, so he just nodded. Emotions flitted across Draco's face -worry, disbelief, hope, caution- and Harry made his nods bigger.
"We were married," Harry continued. "And you were an Auror and I was seemingly a chef. Or I owned a restaurant? I couldn't quite tell. But Hermione and Blaise were married too - I saw their wedding photo on the mantlepiece. And we were happy. God, Draco, we were so happy."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well I know which future sounds better," Draco said with a shaky laugh. Harry nodded.
"Then let's fight for it."
"Harry fucking Potter," Draco said. "I will fight for you to the ends of the fucking earth."
"I love you too, Draco."
"That's not what I-"
"-Yes it was." Draco bit his lip and then gave two short nods of his head.
"You're right," he said. "It was."
