Harry ate breakfast in the kitchen early that evening when the kitchen staff were firing up the grills for the day. He'd seen them around and had been introduced but hadn't really had a chance to get to know them yet. Harry liked knowing who he was taking food from. Even if he did have complete faith in his detection charms, which he now used religiously before he ate or drank anything.
The head chef, Furloff, was a huge man. Intimidating looking but rather nice and had a darkly funny sense of humour. His partner in crime, Birdie, was a tiny pixy of a girl that was silent and grumpy despite looking so sweet. They looked at him suspiciously at first, but Harry was used to that. He was wary and suspicious too. But slowly they warmed-up and he realised that they were both brilliant.
After breakfast, Harry loitered in the shadows near the White Wyvern waiting for Bill. He sensed Bill coming before he saw him.
Since his magic had been unbound, everything was heightened. The alley was saturated with magic, alive and 'loud.' It came across as wild, darke and old. It was all intense and unfamiliar. Too much for Harry to be able to make much sense of. But he mostly managed to distinguish it into two categories; threat and not-yet-a-threat. It was stronger now, than it ever was before. If Harry hadn't already believed magic to be alive and sentient before, he certainly would have now.
And that was just the magic.
Now his mind was unbound as well, everyone's emotions were a bit louder, a bit clearer. Before he had to concentrate, had to read peoples faces and bodies. Now he just looked at them and knew. Like what happened with Bill in Gringotts...
The world was louder now than it had ever been. It hadn't settled yet. He hadn't gotten used to it yet, gotten it under control yet. He consciously took a deep breath and focused on the air in his nose and lungs.
Bill. He knew what Bill felt like, what his magic felt like. A smudge of familiar in the sea of everything else.
"Hey," Bill said, being careful not to name Harry.
"It's Hadrian here," Harry said as he hugged Bill back.
"Nice. How's everything going?" Bill asked.
"Still loud and intense, but it's not quite as bad as it was," Harry said slowly, not wanting to worry Bill.
Bill looked at him for a moment, then said "Good. We can practice a bit today too when we do Occlumency. Where are you staying at the moment?" He asked.
"Hung Drawn 'n' Quarters." Harry said, "I have a deal with Madame Morbid for room and board." Harry went on, leading Bill thought the winding streets of Nocturne to the inn and up to his room.
He was not ashamed to have been on the streets, not really... But he was pleased beyond measure that Bill didn't have to know.
"Where are you staying? Do you have a place here?" Harry asked curiously.
"No. I have a place in Egypt, but not here. I stay in the Gringotts barracks when I'm in England."
They started going over the Wizengamot things first because that was still confusing Harry and the books were less than informative. Bill gave him a rundown of its structure and the voting process. Slowly it started to make sense and align with what his Slytherin peers had told him.
"Once you're emancipated," Bill explained, "you can set a proxy until you're 17. You can go with them as heir and watch them and learn from them. All heirs are allowed to go and watch proceedings. But the Wizengamot itself is not that complicated, it's the politics that get complicated." Bill explained.
They discussed politics for a little longer, then moved on to his mage sense. Bill had him working on a few exercises and gave him a few books. It was starting to be less overwhelming.
Occlumency practice turned out to be exhausting, even with the blocks off.
They spent the next hour meditating on Harry's inner mind, as Bill coached Harry through the next step of learning to shield his mind. He was almost ready to shape his inner mind into somewhere that felt safe. A place to retreat to and keep his memories in. He just wasn't sure what to shape it into... not much felt safe.
"You need to shape your inner mind now, build it into a sanctuary." Bill explained, "then you can start sorting your memories and hiding them. It will make it harder for someone else who uses Legilimency on you to find them. Not impossible, but it will put you in control of your mind, not someone else." Bill had explained.
"Properly occluding is what happens when you keep shields around your inner mind. It is consciously withdrawing into the inner mind, containing all your mental workings and thoughts in that safe inner sanctuary. That keeps people from picking up surface thoughts and using Legilimency on you undetected. Good Occlumency is really a lot of mental discipline, keeping the mind ordered and contained in your inner mind, not letting it flow over into the outer mind. The outer mind can be vulnerable to passive scans."
"That sounds exhausting," Harry said, feeling a little overwhelmed, despite how sensible it sounded; how secure it sounded.
"It can be at first," Bill said, "and many don't actually need that level of Occlumency. Many are fine building up outer laters, and many don't bother with Occlumency at all. But for you, it's going to be necessary." Bill said, "it will get easier with practice, and become something you don't even think about. It will end up feeling as natural as breathing when you get good at it."
"So how do I make shields?" Harry asked curiously, "can I make them around the outer mind and the inner mind?"
"Yes. Different people do it differently. Some use one image and focus outwardly on that, like fog or heavy rain. That makes it harder for the Legilimence to get through or even find the inner mind at all.
What you want is to visualise protections and barriers around your inner mind. You'll want to let some surface thoughts float around outside those shields allowing you to fool others into thinking you don't know Occlumency; which is frowned on." Bill explained, "Legilimency is considered darke by the Ministry. Occlumency is too."
"And shields around the outer mind?" Harry asked
"Yes. Now you can use that focusing technique, there too" he said.
"Could one use an endless sky? Blue sky and clouds for miles and not much else" Harry asked, "Or a deep ocean with no bottom? Like the Mariana Trench? Or maybe fire? That would be uncomfortable to go through, instinct would shy away from it. Especially if I could capture the feeling of that blistering heat."
"Yes, those are excellent ideas," Bill said, "you'll want to practice them before you go to sleep, clear your mind, and focus on those images."
"What else can you do to shield your mind?" Harry asked, curiously.
"Thats where active practice with a Legilimens comes in. The more you practice, the more your mind will naturally reinforce your shields and natural barriers." Bill explained, "Your magic, will form natural barriers for you with practice."
"If they're natural barriers, why do I not have any?" Harry asked, curiously.
"Some have better natural barriers than others." Bill said, "mine, for example, were pretty good. But Charlie's, being an empath, were pretty crap. He's super sensitive to feeling others, so he had to work pretty hard at it."
Bill went on, "but with your predisposition towards it, it's odd you have none. It could be your empathy, like Charlie. But it could be all the obliviates. Your mind's been broken into so many times it's destroyed your natural barriers."
Harry sighed, another thing Dumbledore had fucked up.
"Now I'm going to use Legilimency on you again, and I want you to try and throw me out. It should be easier now that the blocks are gone. I'm also going to try and have a look at the state of your natural barriers. Now the blocks have gone it could be that they've repaired themselves."
Bill took his wand out, "let's see what your natural barriers are like now the blocks are off," and cast the spell again.
It was easier this time, to feel Bill's probe. Harry could feel it approach his mind, and push against his own magic, sliding through. Images started to flick through his mind as he tried to push Bill out. It was harder than he thought as Bill just seemed to slip past everything Harry threw at him, like butter.
It was a strange sensation. Despite Harry liking the feel of Bill's magic, and being comfortable around Bill, having someone else's magic in his mind felt altogether wrong. It felt so intimate, even if he had agreed to it and understood it's importance. That made it easier to push the probe out with his own magic.
"It's easier to see them now," Bill said. "It looks like between the blocks, the obliviates and Dumbledore, and who else I'm not too sure, your natural barriers are pretty non-existent. They've been destroyed, and haven't started to repair themselves. The Soul Shard was certainly not helping. Though now it's detached and contained, it shouldn't be a problem. You may still get impressions, but you should be safe from the shard seeing anything from your mind or influencing you."
Bill sighed, "You have mental scarring. Practice will help build your natural shields back up. But it means it's more important than ever that you get good at Occlumency. You're an open book at the moment, vulnerable. Sort out your inner mind and gain the discipline to retreat in there. Your inner mind is less scarred and will be easier and more secure to shield. The inner mind, when occluded is also a lot harder to obliviate. If you're properly occluding, from the inner mind, the outer layer can be obliviated, but not the inner. So by knowing your mind, you can then go back and work out what was obliviated and undo it." Bill said.
"Brilliant," Harry said, "I have noticed some weird gaps and things now the binds are off."
"That will be the obliviates. Learning Occlumency may bring them back," Bill said, "but it may not. It often depends on how skilled the person obliviating you is, and how familiar they are with the mind."
Harry thought about it a long moment, "I think it was Quirrell in my first year, who helped destroy my natural barriers. I think he used Legilimency. I always got headaches from him. I thought it was just him, but he had Riddle sticking out of the back of his head, and Riddle is a Legilimens. He could have been using Legilimency on us all the time. And Professor Snape does it too I think. But I never get the same headaches around him."
Bill nodded, "Severus is, to an extent, a natural legilimence, to a stronger degree than you are."
Harry glanced up sharply. Why was Bill using the professor's first name?
"He's much better at Legilimency and doing it gently. Scanning the outer mind, for him, I think, is almost as natural as breathing, and less deliberate. So he'd be much better at doing it non-destructively when he's not actively doing the spell and breaking into another mind. I don't think any of this damage is from him. I really don't. I think your guess was right in saying it was Quirrellmort."
"Professor Snape hates me though," Harry said, trying to make sense of what he was feeling from Bill.
"Yep," Bill agreed, "but he wouldn't do that, Harry. He wouldn't."
"Using active Legilimency on another against their will, breaking through their shields to the inner mind, and violently too, is not only illegal and taboo, but it's also akin to rape." Bill went on, sounding mildly offended on Professor Snape's behalf.
"It's a very serious thing. He hates you, and is nasty in class, and can be a right arsehole at times. But he is not a mind rapist. Besides he vowed to protect you. This would go against that."
"How do you know him other than school?" Harry asked, frowning.
"We're friends," Bill said with a nonchalant shrug, that Harry thought was a bit forced.
Harry didn't narrow his eyes curiously, though, he was instantly curious. Being openly curious about something someone was downplaying was an instant give away, and would have that person shutting up tighter than a clam, in a heartbeat.
What was Bill downplaying? Harry thought Bill felt slightly embarrassed, defensive and something that Harry couldn't quite define...
That was interesting.
But he said nothing as Bill continued, "met him again through Gringotts when I was doing my training, back in your first year. I'm not in England as much as I am in Egypt, but he is the best potions master in the country, one of the best in all of Europe. Gringotts calls him in sometimes as a contracted consultant or brewer. We got talking and kept in touch. We're pen friends."
Harry's mind boggled at the idea of his teacher having a life outside of school and someone actually liking Professor Snape. Snape was so horrible!
Bill just laughed fondly at his expression and said, "he's not that bad outside of teaching. Honest! Especially when he's not slaving away for Dumbledore. Now, come on, let's practice," Bill said, raising his wand, clearly eager to change the subject.
Harry looked at him for a moment, but let it go. He took a moment to clear his mind and called up an image of fire. He'd never been to the ocean or in any deep body of water so he couldn't really focus on that. But he did find staring into a fire rather calming.
He almost didn't notice Bill casting the spell, but he could feel it coming towards him. He focused on his fire. The probe bounced off lightly. He grinned, and his focus crumbled as a second probe touched the edge of his mind and slipped through as if it were made of water.
Images started flashing through Harry's mind as he tried to focus on the fire again, or on the magic.
Snape yelling at him in the classroom, Snape being bullied by his father, Dudley doing the same thing to Harry...
No!
Harry fought for focus, to concentrate on the magic so he could feel what was going on. So he didn't get lost in the memories.
He gathered his own magic as Bill pushed back gently, images flickered in his mind, like a poorly tuned radio. Harry pushed back, and threw Bill's probe out.
He was panting, on the rough wooden floor of his room at the Hung Drawn 'n' Quarters.
Bill looked pail but said, "Good, Harry, very good!"
"Don't," Harry stuttered, panting, "what you saw... don't tell. Not mine to tell. Don't let anyone know. If you're his friend... don't tell! He won't want anyone knowing! Please, Bill! Don't tell! He's so mad at me! You weren't meant to see!"
"Harry?" Bill said, crouching next to him looking concerned.
"Snape, you saw... in my head... he doesn't want anyone knowing, what James did to him. He was furious when he found out I knew, about him and my father. Please don't let him know you know. He loathes me, please! It will make it so much worse!" Harry begged.
"Everything I see in your head is confidential." Bill soothed, "I won't breathe a word of what I see to anyone I promise."
"Even Charlie?" Harry said, looking straight at Bill.
"Harry?" Bill asked with a slight frown.
"I know you confide in him. You tell him things. How much are you going to tell him about Snape? About what you learned in my head? Snape'll kill me, Bill," Harry pleaded trying to control his panic.
Harry wished Charlie was there suddenly.
"Harry, take a deep breath for me okay?" Bill said, "Severus's secrets are safe. Your secrets are safe. He won't kill you, I promise." Bill continued putting a hand gently on Harry's shoulder, "he vowed to protect you, you're safe. He's secrets are safe. Just breathe Harry."
Harry leaned into the hand and just breathed. When he was finally calm again, he muttered, "thanks."
"It's okay, we can talk about it later if you want, but for now, do you feel up to doing more Occlumency?"
Harry nodded, and they started practising again.
Harry's Occlumency was beginning to get better now his mind was free. Not only could he feel Bill's Legilimency probe coming towards him; but he could feel it interacting with his own magic now and could push it away. It was gradually getting more natural.
The exercise had shown him the importance of having good mental shields, however. While he could push the probe away, the rest of his mind was unprotected, and it seemed effortless for Bill to just slip around it and try to enter his mind from another point.
He ended up accidentally slipping into Bill's mind a few times while pushing him out too. So Bill started teaching him to control his talent. Or attempting too. Harry didn't always realise he was doing it. And it was proving to be very difficult for Harry to get his head around and start deliberately using legitimacy. Or at least controlling. It was strange. But it reminded him of something he'd meant to ask Bill.
"What did you do? Back at Gringotts?" Harry asked when they'd finished their lesson and were eating lunch, "you kind of spoke in my head, but without the words."
"Oh," Bill said, remembering. "It wasn't precisely Legilimency on either of our parts. It was more reaching out to your mind and projecting. Charlie said he thought you were an empath last Wednesday. With your talent for the mind arts, I was pretty sure you'd be able to pick up on it. If not my projected thoughts and memories, then the emotions and impressions. Charlie and I perfected the trick when we were kids.
I wanted to warn you to haggle with Rodgrip but couldn't really say so in front of her. It would be seen as a weakness on your part. The goblins will rip Wizards off in a heartbeat if Wizards are 'too stupid to bother to haggle.' Haggling's a big thing for goblins. So is not backing down and honour and that sort of thing. But, the more you haggle, the happier they will be with the deal."
"It was fun," Harry said with a shadow of the vicious grin he'd given Rodgrip.
Bill laughed, "pretty sure Rodgrip thought so too. I'm coming to learn not to underestimate you," he said with a smile, "you're a vicious little thing when you want to be."
Harry just grinned and let the 'little' comment slide.
This time.
"Oh! I've got something for you, but first," Bill said as he pulled out a mirror from his pocket.
Harry watched curiously as Bill tapped it with his wand and said, "Charlie."
There was a long pause. Harry recognised the mirror as something Charlie had used too. He watched curiously as the image blinked and showed the darkened roof of a tent. A groan, wand light, then Charlie's face appeared, looking groggy and mostly asleep, his hair going all over the place. Harry grinned and leaned into Bill's space to get a better look at the mirror.
"Billiam?" Charlie mumbled, scrubbing at his eyes.
Harry snickered at the name as Bill rolled his eyes and said overly cheerily, "hello brother mine."
Charlie groaned and shut his eyes briefly before he yawned and then peered closely at Bill for a long moment. He must have found whatever he was looking for because he relaxed, stretched, yawned again, and said, "oh fuck off Billiam."
But there was no heat to his words.
The image flipped as if the mirror was tossed onto the bed and went black for a moment as it landed face down on the covers.
"What-" Harry started, but Bill just grinned, snickering and said, "don't worry. He's not angry, just half asleep. We do this a lot. Watch."
Before Harry could say anything else, the image tilted again, as Charlie picked it up again. He was in a fluffy purple dressing gown holding an enormous steaming mug.
"Now that I have chocolate, what's up?" Charlie said.
"Sorry, on Nocturne time," Bill said, not looking that sorry at all.
"S'fine, what's up?" Charlie said rolling his eyes and taking a long drag of hot chocolate.
"I'm having lunch with Harry here," Bill turned the mirror around and Harry waved.
"Harry!" Said Charlie smiling brightly before catching sight of Harry.
"Fuck, Bill! You didn't say it would be that bad! What did that fucking ritual do to him? He was almost looking healthy too. Shite Harry, are you okay, love?
Despite the endearment he still wasn't used to, Harry scowled. He hated being so skinny. It wasn't his fault the ritual had pulled on all his reserves that he'd fought so hard to build up over the term.
"I don't look that bad," Harry grumbled, trying not to snap.
"You do sweetheart," Charlie moaned, worry bleeding through his voice, "you were almost looking healthy when I saw you last. You look like you did at the Cup, again! Half-starved, like a stiff breeze, could snap you in two. You need a good meal of three. Christ."
"I'm fine!" Harry did snap this time, despite being warmed by the endearment "I'm not weak!"
"Fuck that's not what I meant! I know you're not. Shite sorry, love. I'm rubbish with words." He rubbed his eyes again, looking tired and upset. He looking at Bill pleadingly as if to translate for him and to help him fix it.
Bill snorted, shaking his head and said to Harry, "got no brain mouth filter when he's tired or half-asleep that one. He's got a really filthy mouth on him then too, my brother has." he said with a teasing smirk.
Harry's scowl lessened as Charlie playful snapped, "fuck off, Billiam, its early," using the odd nickname deliberately this time.
Bill just laughed and asked, "how much sleep have you had tonight brother mine?
"An hour."
Bill winced, "ouch, sorry, brother."
"Would have hung up if I minded, 's fine," Charlie said and took a long draft of his drink.
"Harry, I didn't mean it as an accusation or judgment or insult. I promise. I am worried because I care. That's all." Charlie said, "it's really good to see you, though. Are you okay? Doing alright in Nocturne? How was the ritual?"
Harry relaxed, the previous tension draining out of him. He went back to leaning into Bill's side, so they could both see the mirror more easily. Bill just put an arm around him, letting Harry snuggle in close.
"Dobby and Winky are working on feeding me up again. I feel loads better. I'm okay. It was hard and not much fun, but I'm glad I did it."
"Good," said Charlie looking relieved.
"And that's what we're talking about brother mine," Bill said, sipping his tea.
"The ritual?" Charlie asked frowning.
"No, how much we tell each other." Bill said, "Harry was interested, and confused about the whole 'how much is acceptable to confide in another, and when does it break confidence and confidentiality' thing."
Charlie blinked, "oooh boy," he sighed perching his chin on top of the still-steaming mug.
"You guys are close." Harry said, "you knew about Gringotts, didn't you?" He spoke to Charlie, "and you knew about my post-task meltdown, didn't you?" Harry said, turning to Bill, who nodded.
Charlie hesitated a moment, looked unsure. He paused and then said very carefully "we grew up very close. Mum was always busy with the little kids and dad was always working to try and bring money in. We didn't want to bother them, as they were often so busy. But we needed someone else to confide and rely on. So we leaned on each other. I can't ever remember Bill not being around."
"Same," said Bill, "Charlie is only a year younger than me, I don't remember a time when it wasn't the two of us. Except when I started Hogwarts first." He added with a slight grimace.
"That was fucking awful," Charlie said with a scowl, and Bill nodded.
"We grew up doing practically everything together, a bit like the twins now. That didn't change when we went to school or when we went to live in other countries. We still talk every day, he's my best friend and my confidant, and I, his." Bill said.
Charlie hesitated again, thinking of how to explain it.
"Bill loves his job, but it was hard at first when he was not able to share all the amazing things he was doing." Charlie said, "and some of the terrifying things, or some of the horrifying accidents."
"Some of the accidents have been pretty awful; we lost 3 people in my first month of training alone. It was a bit of a culture shock. In my line of work, idiocy or carelessness literally gets you killed." Bill added.
Charlie nodded in agreement, "same here really. We're each other's emergency contact. The bank calls me when Bill's hurt, and the Captain calls Bill when I'm hurt. Then mum doesn't worry and have extra ammunition to use against us when she berates us for choosing the jobs that we have. We love our jobs and the freedom they give us."
"So we look after each other. We've sorted it out with Gringotts, so we can be each other's confidante without breaking our oaths. It's not really breaking as I don't get the specifics," Charlie continued, "and I'm also bound by his confidentiality oaths too."
"Everyone who works for Gringotts is allowed one confidante," Bill explained, picking up the conversation. "They are also bound by the same confidentiality contracts and oaths.
Goblins believe in stringent confidentiality oaths, but also that each worker should have one person they can talk to and confide in. It doesn't mean I can give away Gringotts secrets or talk about highly confidential classified specifics. Nevertheless, I can speak about most work stuff with Charlie. He's bound to keep Gringotts secrets that I share with him."
"There was an oath and contracts at the bank," Charlie added in, "when Bill signed on. I had to sign some things and make some oaths when he chose me as his confidante. That let him tell me things and not break his non-disclosure agreements." He stopped, looking uncomfortable.
"It might seem weird, but it works for us, as that's the way its always been. That's why it was so hard in that first few months when he couldn't say anything. We'd never done that before."
"So, for example," Bill explained, "after that first meeting with you, I was pretty worried. I didn't give him the particulars or the details of the meeting or of your account. However, I did tell him I was worried about you and that you'd had things tough, and that it would probably get worse before it got better. I was worried about you. And I was honestly furious that you'd been in that spot to start with. Which is nothing he didn't already know or suspect."
Harry looked at Charlie sharply.
"The twins told us about the bars on the window, and you need to be sent food. They knew about the scars. They came to us a few times over the years to try and get you help. They tried to get you out. So did we, but got turned down from all sides." Charlie said, not looking at Harry, running a finger up and down the handle of his mug.
Harry blushed, then remembered what Rodgrip had said about him being a warrior. Those scars were badges of honour because he survived, and he was still here. They were proof of his survival, that he had gone through hell and was still going. They were the proof, carved into his skin that he was not weak. He did not need to be ashamed.
He straightened his spine, "it's okay, I don't mind," he said, "I'm not ashamed. I'm glad they had you guys when they were worried, and that you guys have each other. It sounds nice."
"Humans are social creatures, even if I hate people most of the time. We need someone to be able to confide in." Charlie said, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking strangely, uncharacteristically defensive. "Not many people understand our relationship, but we're close. I know about Gringotts, he told me in confidence. He knows about the letters I sent you, and about the book."
Harry wondered then, how many times Charlie had had to deal with people not understanding, or being unkind about how close a bond he had with his brother. And it made his heart hurt for the redhead.
"After you both had a panic attack at the task," Bill added, "Charlie called me."
"Always do after one of them," Charlie muttered.
Bill nodded, "and I'm glad you do." he reassured, before turning back to Harry, "he said you might be an empath, and he was worried about how much pressure you were under. We don't give each other the nitty-gritty confidential details of other peoples personal lives. We can keep a secret. If you want to share, that's your business, but we do talk. That's just how we've always done it. We can judge when it's okay to tell the other and when it's not."
"We can do boundaries, you know," Charlie tried to joke.
"We just often don't," added Bill with a grin, making Harry laugh.
Charlie's face then turned serious, "I'm really sorry if you feel that was a breach of your trust."
He was so earnest, but his face had an odd expression on it. As if he expected Harry to shun him or turn him away. As if he expected Harry to be upset with him.
Harry was not sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, Bill had taken an oath of secrecy to both him and Gringotts. But it sounded like Charlie was an extension of that. So had Bill really broken his confidence? No. He hadn't. Not by the bank's standards, not by Harry's either really. And Harry trusted Bill and Charlie.
Harry thought, in a way, it was a good idea; a sound system. He had at times, as a child yearned to be able to confide in someone, to tell someone how horrible things were. He supposed he was almost jealous of what Bill and Charlie had, of them being so comfortable with each other that they could talk about anything and everything. He yearned for that. Hermione was his best friend, but he didn't think he could ever trust someone enough to tell them everything, to rely on someone like that.
He also hated that weird, uncomfortable expression on Charlie's face. Hated the anxious, uncomfortable feel of Bill's magic. Hated the defensive way Charlie was holding his mug and hunching his shoulders forward as if worried Harry would blow up... Would reject him, Harry suddenly realised.
He didn't ever want to be the cause of that.
"so, like how the books say husbands and wives don't have secrets from each other?" Harry asked after considering it for a moment.
"I guess," Bill said with an unworried shrug, that hid his disquiet.
"But not with the sex!" Charlie blurted out.
Harry made a face as Bill laughed.
"I love Bill, he's my best friend, my brother, my other half, but I do not like him like that." Charlie made a thoroughly disgusted face, making Harry laugh again, breaking the tension.
Charlie still looked a bit uncomfortable, however, as if waiting for the ridicule he knew would come. As if people had turned him away over something so simple as getting on well with his brother.
How many times before had one of them been rejected because of how close they were, Harry wondered again. He was reminded vividly now of the rumours that sometimes went around about how close Fred and George were. And how unhappy that made them. How uncomfortable it made them.
He remembered their faces after Percy had given them a good dressing down in Harry's first year. He'd caught them snuggling under a blanket, sharing an armchair and a book. They'd been mortified and so upset. They'd just been reading, they weren't doing anything wrong. And Harry hadn't understood what Percy was assuming at the time. Or maybe what assumptions he was trying to protect his brothers from. But he knew that it was bad, and it had hurt the twins.
"So like the twins are super close," Harry said
"Yes," Bill said, sounding relieved.
Charlie nodded, looking less miserable.
"'s okay," Harry said, "I get it. I don't mind. Really."
He leaned comforting into Bills side resting his head on Bills chest. He wished he could hug Charlie and make it better. He badly wanted to reassure Charlie. He knew what that fear of rejection felt like.
"I get it, I'm glad, really" Harry said again, and Bill wrapped an arm tightly around Harry and hugged him close, pressing his cheek to Harry's hair.
Charlie's relief was palpable, "not many understand. The twins do, but even they don't really get it, as we're not twins."
"They think it's weird that we're as close as they are, when we're not twins," Bill murmured from above Harry, "sorry if we've upset you."
Harry shook his head, "I'm not upset. I don't know if I understand either," Harry admitted honestly. "I don't really do the whole trust thing, it's odd still. But I think I'm learning."
He paused a moment thinking, his head still on Bill's chest.
"I can't imagine having someone I could tell everything too; or be that honest with all the time. But it sounds really really nice. I wish I had that. I'm not upset with you guys. You're both great. I think if I were capable of really trusting someone, you guys would be it." He murmured so quietly Bill wasn't sure he'd heard him. But Bill pressed his cheek to Harry's hair again and hugged him tightly for a moment.
"Anyway," Charlie said, changing the topic, "you given him his Yule present yet Billiam?"
"I haven't forgotten! That's one of the reasons I originally called you, Charlie. So you could see his face when he opens it!" Bill said, shifting and pulling out a package from his bag and handing it to Harry. It was covered in little animated dragons.
Harry grinned, "what's this?" He asked, curiously.
"Open it and see!" Charlie teased.
"It's from Charlie and I, of course." Bill said, "Charlie insisted that since he wasn't here to give it to you, it had to be wrapped in dragon paper. He gave me the spell for it," Bill said with a smile, then whispered, as if it were a secret "he's obsessed with them!"
"I won't even argue that," Charlie said, making Harry laugh, "thanks for fire-proof shirts, by the way, Harry, and the bracelet. Well done for getting your idea for the, both up and working!"
"Thanks, I'm glad you liked them," Harry said grinning.
"I did."
"So did I." Said Bill, "it will come in handy. How'd you get my size anyway?" He asked
Harry smirked, "same way I got Charlie's, by asking you."
Bill snorted and said, "open your present."
Harry unwrapped the package, being careful not to tear the paper. Inside was a round mirror a little bigger than Harry's palm. It was silver and very similar to Bill and Charlie's. He grinned.
"It's a communication mirror. Like the Gringotts boxes. If you write the name and mirror code on the back, you can link it up with others. That allows you to say the person's name and it will link to the other mirror, like we did with Charlies," Bill explained.
He then showed Harry the spell to lift the mirror itself out off the handle so Harry could see Bill and Charlie's names on the other side of the glass. Just like with the Gringotts boxes.
"We've linked yours to both our mirrors so you can call us, whenever you like." Charlie added, "so we don't need to spend some much time every day scribbling letters."
"I also linked then up, so we can all talk via the mirrors at once if we want to have a conversation, but we haven't tried that yet," Bill added. Harry's face burst into the biggest smile they'd ever seen.
"This is brilliant, thanks!" Harry said hugging Bill, "thanks Charlie," he said, beaming into the mirror.
"We're thrilled you like it, Harry," Charlie said, smiling sleepily, "totally worth being up at 2 in the morning for!"
Harry laughed.
"How long have you got Charlie?" Bill asked suddenly
"I got time," Charlie said, waving a hand dismissively, "I don't start till later tomorrow."
Bill looked at his brother for a long moment, and something passed between them that Harry didn't understand, before Bill said, "sweet. Now Harry, why don't you tell us what was really going on after the task. You've been quiet in your letters."
Harry sighed at how astute they both were but told Bill and Charlie, haltingly, about how the Hogwarts population had been treating him and about the un-housing.
They were horrified.
Then, with great trepidation, he told them about Ron's hexing and pushing.
They sighed. Upset but not surprised. Harry narrowed his eyes at them, pulling away from Bill, so they weren't touching at all anymore.
"Don't tell me he'll get over it, eventually!" Harry snapped coldly, "that's not okay."
"No," Bill said solemnly, "it's not."
Charlie looked tired suddenly but in total agreement.
"It hurt." Harry said, "it was awful! Having that curse used on me. Slugs were crawling inside me! That's magical assault and it's not okay.
"No. It's not," Charlie said, "I'm really sorry he did that to you. It's not okay."
"But it's what he's used to, using magic and hexing when he's mad." Bill said, "it's not an excuse," he hurried, raising a hand, "but its an explanation. If we used magic against the little ones at home, we were in for a world of sorry."
"But if they hexed us, it was okay," added Charlie uncharacteristically bitter, "because they were little and didn't know better, and we were trained and could handle it."
"So he had a slight sense of superiority I guess," said Bill. "He and Ginny, as the youngest two were pretty spoilt. Not with money, but with time and attention and getting away with things we were never allowed to get away with."
"We'll talk to him," said Charlie, "see if we can coax some sense into him."
"He probably won't listen to us the way the twins would, but we'll give it a go," Bill said, sounding sad and tired.
And Harry didn't like that tone on them. And he didn't really understand what they were saying about their sibling dynamic. But it made a heavy feeling in his chest. He shuffled closer to Bill again and asked, "why won't he listen to you? You're his brothers? He thinks you're both really cool. Why wouldn't he listen to you?"
"Yeah," said Charlie, "but that does not translate to doing what he's told."
"It never has. 'Your not my mum, I don't have to listen to you!'" Quoted Bill.
"You forgot, 'your not the auras!" Added Charlie with a laugh, "that's possibly the most annoying."
Bill laughed, "shit, the kid had attitude," then at Harry's face said, "we helped mum out a lot with the little kids when we were growing up. We looked after the twins a lot when Ron and Ginny came alone, or when Percy was unwell-"
"The kid got dragon pox as a baby" Charlie added in, "he was a sickly kid for ages after that. Poor sod."
"So the twins will listen to us, but Ron never did the same way when we tried to help him learn what things not to do."
"Anyway!" Charlie said, changing the subject quickly.
Harry got the vague impression that their childhood home life was a bit of a sore spot. They didn't want to talk about it. Something intriguing and curious, but he could totally understand not wanting to talk about it. Maybe the Weasley family wasn't as perfect and wonderful as it had seemed.
They kept chatting for a while discussing the next task, and what Harry's plans were now that he was free of the potions. He filled Charlie in on all the little details Bill hadn't told him as they finished lunch. Eventually, however, reluctantly they had to say goodnight to Charlie so he could get some sleep and Bill needed to get back to Gringotts.
Standing outside the inn when Bill was about to leave, Harry said suddenly, "I'm glad you two have each other's backs like the twins do. It sounds nice. I've always been a bit jealous of them, having an other half. I'm glad you two have each other."
Bill wrapped an arm around Harry and Harry went on, "I'm glad I don't have to lie and hide with you two. I don't mind if you tell him things about any of this, as long as he keeps it too." Harry said, pressing his face into Bill's middle in a hug.
Bill hugged him back tightly and said, "always. He won't breathe a word to anyone, his confidentiality is an extension of mine. He won't let on that he knows."
"Charlie can't lie," Harry said without thinking about it
Bill snorted, "Charlie can lie. He's an excellent liar. He just rarely puts effort into bothering. He doesn't often need to anymore."
Harry frowned but nodded, "thank's, Bill. See you tomorrow?"
"Cause," Bill said with an easy grin, before "and Harry? Severus's secret is safe with me. Promise," he added, before melting back into the Nocturne crowd.
Harry spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning. He worked through the rest of the rooms and cleaned up the cellar and attic a bit. It was hard, filthy work, but his mind felt calmer and more steady than he had in weeks by the time he'd finished. He could now slip in and out of his magic and deep into his mind at will. The cleaning was good practice for his control over magic and his Occlumency. He was getting much better at channelling magic into his hands to help him clean and was getting faster at it.
The night rush started, but Harry kept scrubbing. The patrons had seen him around the inn a bit now and left him to it. He finished polishing the main room and looked around it with pride.
The inn looked like a different place now. And it had only taken him 3 days to give the place a thorough scrub and get it looking clean! It must be his personal record!
The floors and wooden panelling were clean and shining. The fireplace had been cleaned, and the tables scrubbed and polished. The windows and kitchen sparkled, and the bedrooms and bathrooms had been mopped, dusted and now smelt fresh.
Deeply satisfied with the proof of his hard work, he dragged himself upstairs and practically fell into his trunk and into bed, not even changing his clothes before he was asleep.
END NOTES:
So I've bent and adjusted some of the Weasley family back story.
No not all of it was stated in cannon, I've created some and adjusted it where I needed to. I needed to give them a bit more history and emotional depth.
